Mating in Captivity

Reconciling the Erotic & the Domestic

By: Esther Perel

Narrated by: Esther Perel

Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins

Publisher's summary

Esther Perel takes on tough questions, grappling with the obstacles and anxieties that arise when our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. She invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.

In her 20 years of clinical experience, Perel has treated hundreds of couples whose home lives are empty of passion. They describe relationships that are open and loving, yet sexually dull. What is going on?

In this explosively original book, Perel explains that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor is antithetical to erotic desire for both men and women. Sexual excitement doesn't always play by the rules of good citizenship. It is politically incorrect. It thrives on power plays, unfair advantages, and the space between self and other. More exciting, playful, even poetic sex is possible, but first we must kick egalitarian ideals and emotional housekeeping out of our bedrooms.

While Mating in Captivity shows why the domestic realm can feel like a cage, Perel's take on bedroom dynamics promises to liberate, enchant, and provoke. Flinging the doors open on erotic life and domesticity, she invites us to put the "X" back in sex.

©2006 Esther Perel (P)2006 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic reviews

"As revelatory as it is straightforward....Perel sanctions fantasy and play and offers the estranged modern couple a unique richness of experience." (Publishers Weekly)

Crucial insight on a private subject

This audio book is incredibly insightful, and a breath of fresh air. It gave me a deeper understanding of my own desires and insight into my wife's. It was refreshing to dive into this subject without the risk of hurting someone's feelings, making someone uncomfortable, or discussing it with someone who doesn't want to talk about it. I feel like I have a better grasp of the subject, and ways to move forward to keep the passion alive in my relationship.

Helps to push boundaries

This definitely challenged my ways of thinking and pushed me to places I would not willfully go on my own. Overall, really good material.

Sex takes practice

After more than thirty years, sex, physical intimacy, had disappeared. Esther’s book helped us rekindle that important component of our relationship. Listening to this together, and separately, serves as a refresher course. Each listening brings new insights.

must read for all couples who want to stay sexuall

incredibly helpful and thoughtful. good reading for all committed couples whether married or not, straight or gay, young or old.

also I loved the author's narration and her writing style. deliciously irreverent, yet not flippant or thoughtless

A must read

I believe that the 50% chance of divorce would go down if everyone read this book. It’s life changing and marriage changing. I highly recommend it ans the audiobook version!

Loved it. Thank God Esther herself narrated this.

Excellent and has the ability to change your perspective on love. I'm not evwn in a relationship and this has already been tremendously helpful. A must read!

Masterful and insightful!

As a therapist who works with couples, and as a middle aged (done seen it all) woman, I deeply appreciate Esther Perell's contributions both personally and professionally. Her perspective from outside of the American Mind is invaluable. Her work with couples is elegantly nuanced, helping them see what they are not seeing and say what they are not saying. The book helps us all break past our preconceived assumptions and re-envision what is possible. Combined with her Schnarchian framework of interdependence, Esther Perell helps us form and sustain adult to adult relationships that thrive on emotional courage and lead to deep fulfillment.

monogamy is dead or is it?

Great book. case studies provide real life examples of all kinds of relationship issues. mostly with infidelity. there are useful tools and truths that one may not want to except. monogamy doesn't mean ownership or perceived required commitment to one, the only. it is about changing the perception and acknowledging that your partner exists very differently from you. in order to have a successful relationship it is not 100% incumbent on your partner meeting ALL of those expectations. our expectations of best friend, care taker, romance etc and so on are not necessarily realistic to project on one person. we recognize we don't/cant have those unrealistic requirements with family or friends so why expect it from a partner?

Easy to listen to and easy to understand.

Esther Perel effortlessly explains the intricacies of intimate relationships. She offers her expert explanations for behaviors and options to consider for improving both romantic and erotic relationships. This book is a great reference for understanding one's motivations as well as their lover's. I enjoyed the perspective of love and romance as ongoing experimentation and evolution.

Get this book ASAP!!!

This is the most amazing book on love, sex, family and dating I've ever read!!!