Hayden realized what these women, and their men - needed was not another fancy sex manual full of complicated positions, but a simple, straightforward work with real advice.
Hayden matter-of-factly explores many of the myths men tend to believe about what a woman really wants in bed. She explains what turns women off, what turns them on, and gives explicit, foolproof instructions any man can follow on how to give his partner earth-shattering orgasms during intercourse every time.
Hayden also discusses the importance of love and commitment in sexual relationships, marriage, romantic fantasies, and the sexually energizing benefits of good health. A more practical, no-nonsense guide to the secrets of giving and receiving sexual pleasure has yet to be written.
©1982 Naura Hayden; (P)1995 Penguin HighBridge Audio
I went into the audiobook with an open mind, thinking there might be a thing or two to be learned; instead, this book comes across as a prattling, disheveled, condescending mess. The author's moral and religious bias comes through the reading - a little like being lectured on sexual etiquette by great-aunt Martha, the religious spinster...
Naura Hayden seems afraid of using specific body terms common to sexual health and discussion, instead refers to "the man's sex organ" and almost chokes on the word "clitoris". I'm afraid Ms. Hayden's experiences don't translate to effective coaching and fear my purchase of the book will encourage her to write more on the subject.
Sad, I think she was well intentioned but really missed her mark.
If you are looking for a book that will teach you how to be a better lover, this is not it. There is some good information presented but the simplistic "technique" of soft stimulation and incremental penetration of the clitoris is not the answer to all sexual problems. The author talks more about nutrition and religion than actual sexual technique. I wish I had my nine bucks back.
Only two chapters are even arguably on topic. One chapter is entirely about how basically all men are awful lovers... but it's not our fault... we just don't know any better. And women (other than the author) don't know any better either. The only chapter longer than the one on the importance of God in your life (yes, you read that correctly) is the one on nutrition where she actually tries to sell you her snake oil. (I lost track of how many pills she says she takes each day.)
I did learn one very important thing from this book... never buy a book without reading the other reviews first.
Ms. Hayden begins by lauding her popularity and how wonderful she is, and the recording goes downhill from there.
Naura's premise that men are lousy lovers relies on poll data showing that many women in fact fake their orgasms. So according to Ms. Hayden:
1. Women fake orgasms because men are inept lovers, and it his fault.
2. Women don't tell their men that they are faking orgasms because they love them too much.
3. Cheating on their man is justifiable because, after all, men are inept lovers. See #1 above.
4. Men are responsible for women's pleasure and Ms. Hayden lays out a step by step process to pleasure your woman. (The actual tips for gentleness are good ones)
5. By devoting ourselves to women's pleasure, that puts men "in control" and that will turn us on beyond our wildest dreams. (So let's see if I get that, I devote myself to your pleasure and that puts me in control? Got it.) What if I don't want to be "in control"?
What if I want a mutually satisfying experience based on openness, honesty and respect? I don't think Ms. Hayden believes this is an option.
One more thing. She stated that any man who can't get it up is either sick physically, mentally or emotionally. In other words, if you are not totally turned on by the whiff of woman, you must be sick!
Wow I didn't know that.
"One tip lost in lots of spouting"
There is 1 really good technique described in this
book that could be written on one page and
summarised in a single word - TEASE.
Not just a bit of foreplay but real serious teasing.
The problem is, that message gets lost in chapters
of rubbish. Preaching about how God's love is so
important and sweeping generalisations about how bad
men are in bed.
It's a shame, because the technique has potential
(though I hated the way she described parts of it)
but I could never recommend this book to anyone.
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