We are currently making improvements to the Audible site. In an effort to enhance the accessibility experience for our customers, we have created a page to more easily navigate the new experience, available at the web address www.audible.com/access .
 >   > 
You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again Audiobook

You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again: One Woman's Painfully Funny Quest to Give It Up

Regular Price:$10.49
  • Membership Details:
    • First book free with 30-day trial
    • $14.95/month thereafter for your choice of 1 new book each month
    • Cancel easily anytime
    • Exchange books you don't like
    • All selected books are yours to keep, even if you cancel
  • - or -

Publisher's Summary

You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again is the laugh-out-loud story of an attractive Los Angeles woman who found herself in the predicament of being an unwilling virgin.

As an actress, writer, and stand-up comedienne, Heather McDonald passed up ample opportunities to have her V-card revoked by handsome, rich, and sometimes even fabulously famous men, but she could not bring herself to do "it" until well after her friends had been deflowered. As Chelsea Handler so lovingly puts it, "Thank God, Heather waited 27 years to lose her virginity or she wouldn't have any material for this book."

Whether in a backseat, a community pool, or a sports stadium, with a frat boy, a doctor, or an A-list celebrity, Heather McDonald knew how to turn those boys blue. Unlike "putting out", blue balling might not have paid her rent or landed her free trips to Hawaii, but it did provide her with hilarious stories and adventures in her search for true love - and, ultimately, her very own happy ending. Now, Heather McDonald will never blue ball in this town again.

©2010 Heather McDonald (P)2011 Brilliance Audio, Inc.

What the Critics Say

"The only thing funnier than Heather's impersonation of us is... this book!" (Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe Kardashian)

More from the same

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

3.9 (113 )
5 star
 (43)
4 star
 (30)
3 star
 (27)
2 star
 (10)
1 star
 (3)
Overall
3.8 (103 )
5 star
 (38)
4 star
 (23)
3 star
 (29)
2 star
 (10)
1 star
 (3)
Story
4.0 (104 )
5 star
 (45)
4 star
 (30)
3 star
 (16)
2 star
 (8)
1 star
 (5)
Performance
Sort by:
  •  
    Buck 11-01-16
    Buck 11-01-16
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    2
    2
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Hooray for me and screw You!!!"
    Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?

    Only to let a friend know how self possessed and usury some women can be,


    How would you have changed the story to make it more enjoyable?

    Stop with all of the how I took advantage of men and look how pretty and smart I amexcerpts.


    Did Heather McDonald do a good job differentiating all the characters? How?

    Her being the main character was the most expanded part, and she played the connivingcoed sorority girl to the hilt.


    Did You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again inspire you to do anything?

    Avoid women like Heather McDonald.


    Any additional comments?

    During the summer I read Chelsea Handler, Amy Schumer, Sarah Silverman, Lena DunnAmy Poeller, and Tina Faye. With exceptions of Tina Fey & Amy Poeller all of their books are very similar. The Jewish girls are hung up on their Dads and telling everyone about their gynecological issues and how they lost their virginity, while struggling to be good comedians.. Lena Dunn's book was the worst of all of the books. She may be a genius but she has a lot of "physco" baggage and disgusting physical issues" to get off her mind. Also Amy Poeller is very rude to a man siting in first class.. She assume he's rich, because he bumped her getting off the plane. Maybe he upgraded with points and or paid extra to enjoy a first class flight, but she had to call him a rich Mother F**ker because her and her girlfriends wanted to be noisy on the plane.I lost a lot of respect for Amy after reading that excerpt..

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kelly LaBelle 10-27-16
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    2
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Best storyteller"

    I love Heather McDonald. From her comedy to her podcast to now her book.
    I've been listening to her for some time now and finally decided to check out her book. It's hilarious. Heather has this great ability to make you really visualize whatever story she is telling. Not only is it funny but it it true to life.
    I wish she had more books out there honestly it is the perfect thing to listen to while at the gym or just driving or home relaxing.
    Hoping there will be a serial sister book soon!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Robindra Goth 07-13-16
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    10
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Snore"

    Zzzzzzzzzz zzz zzz ugh zzzz zzz zzz zzz zzz nope zzz zzz zzz snarls zzz zzz zzz...just end

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    jennie 05-27-16
    jennie 05-27-16 Member Since 2016
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    3
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "College Queen and 20 something"

    I loved this book. I'd recommend it to anyone missing their college days and 20s!

    It's also great if you just love Heather. I liked when she included outfits and makeup to each story!😄

    One of my favorite parts is when she puked at a party with Peter and yet they still were in love! I puked on my now husband's shoes on our first date and we are still together!

    Some Amazon reviews shit on the book as a college memoir of being a party girl but they suck. I loved those memories and when she writes about choosing Peter and Mckenzie my heart melts. It's such a good story and a true display of love!❤️❤️❤️

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Brittany Clear Lake/Houston, texas 02-08-16
    Brittany Clear Lake/Houston, texas 02-08-16
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    5
    3
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "fun read"

    quick fun read/listen. I liked it and will most likely be purchasing her more recent memoir as I love celebrity memoirs.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

Report Inappropriate Content

If you find this review inappropriate and think it should be removed from our site, let us know. This report will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.

Cancel

Thank you.

Your report has been received. It will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.