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When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Audiobook

When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

Following his two New York Times best sellers, Brain Droppings and Napalm & Silly Putty, comes George Carlin's third audiobook, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, a riotous journey through the mind of one of America's premiere comic observers.
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Publisher's Summary

Following his two New York Times best sellers, Brain Droppings and Napalm & Silly Putty, comes George Carlin's third audiobook, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, a riotous journey through the mind of one of America's premiere comic observers.

Ranging from his absurdist side (Message from a Cockroach; TV News: The Death of Humpty Dumpty; Tips for Serial Killers) to his unerring ear for American speech (Politician Talk; Societal Cliches; 13 Sections of Euphemisms) to his unsparing views on America and its values (War, God, Stuff Like That; Zero Tolerance; Tired of the Handi-crap), Carlin's legendary irreverence and iconoclasm are on full display as he vainly scours the American landscape for signs of intelligence.

He also has a silly side:

  • You know what kind of guy you never see anymore? A fop.
  • A good motto to live by: "Always try not to get killed."
  • I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
  • A lot of gay men stay in the closet because they're interested in fashion.
  • I have an impersonal trainer. We meet at the gym, we don't talk, he works out alone, and I go home.
  • Here's something you can't do by yourself: practice shaking hands.
  • When it comes to God's existence, I'm not an atheist and I'm not an agnostic. I'm an acrostic. The whole thing puzzles me.
  • Good news for senior citizens: Death is near!
  • O.J. Simpson has already received the ultimate punishment: For the rest of his life he has to associate with golfers.

    ©2004 Comedy Concepts, Inc.; (P)2004 Hyperion

  • What the Critics Say

    • Audie Award Finalist, Humor, 2005
    • 2005 Quill Award Nominee
    • Grammy Award Nominee, Best Spoken Word Album, 2005

    "There's no better way to enjoy one of Carlin's books than to hear him read it himself....Carlin has his comic timing down pat. His energetic reading is punctuated by conversational bits and enhanced by his deft vocal variation, making listeners feel as if they've got a front-row seat at one of his comedy shows." (Publishers Weekly)

    What Members Say

    Average Customer Rating

    3.5 (1060 )
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    3.9 (303 )
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    4.2 (308 )
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    Performance
    Sort by:
    •  
      William Dallas, TX, USA 10-24-04
      William Dallas, TX, USA 10-24-04 Member Since 2015
      HELPFUL VOTES
      37
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      "Build Your IQ While Laughing"

      Fortunately Mr. Carlin is not running for President, as his perspective is way out of the "mainstream". His cynacism and his almost God-less agnosticism combined with a carefully delivered, gratuitous raunch, can be a challenge to the most open minded of God fearing folks. However, brandishing a super-sharp intellect, and a subtle but real concern for the well being of humanity, George presents insightful alternative points of view, the consideration of which is immensely rewarded with continuous, uncontrolled bouts of liberating laughter.

      9 of 15 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Joseph 11-02-04
      Joseph 11-02-04 Member Since 2008
      HELPFUL VOTES
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      "A book I COULD put down"

      I've loved George Carlin. And I identify with many of his views on life. But his latest book is missing the most important ingredient of the ones I've loved in the past; humor. This book (and I confess I could not finish it) is just not funny. I wanted it to be. I expected it to be. It wasn't.
      I listened beyond my normal tolerance hoping for a major turn, but after I had dutifully hung on for nearly 75%, I put myself out of my misery and turned my iPod back to something funnier; the presidential debates.

      23 of 43 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Mark B. Machado Miami, FL United States of America 04-16-16
      Mark B. Machado Miami, FL United States of America 04-16-16 Member Since 2014
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      10
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      "George Carlin Greatness"

      George Carlin is his usual, awesome and articulate self. You need to be an adult to appreciate this, that is, an adult mentally. If you have a problem with the work fuck, or shit then don't bother, grow up first.

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Laurie Florence, KY, United States 03-20-16
      Laurie Florence, KY, United States 03-20-16 Member Since 2012
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      "Vintage Carlin"

      There are parts of this book that are just hysterical, and other parts that are, quite frankly, a little disturbing. But that's George Carlin. I enjoyed it, but I think I've gotten my fill of him for a while.

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Carlos Brunswick, ME, United States 12-26-13
      Carlos Brunswick, ME, United States 12-26-13 Member Since 2016
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      "It was classic Carlin."
      Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?

      Any fan would enjoy this book.


      Which scene was your favorite?

      I love his views on politics and religion. I only wish I could verbally match his sentiment and articulate such opinions on both subjects. I agree with him on all counts.


      Any additional comments?

      A few parts did drag in my opinion, but overall, I would recommend this book to others for some great insights and laughs.

      1 of 2 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Trash man Tokyo, Japan 03-19-13
      Trash man Tokyo, Japan 03-19-13 Listener Since 2010
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      "Very funny."
      Would you consider the audio edition of When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? to be better than the print version?

      Yes, much better. Hearing George Carlin's words with his voice made the book funnier.


      What other book might you compare When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? to and why?

      Bossypants by Tina Fey. I think comedy books read by the author is similar to listening to a comedy album.


      Which character – as performed by George Carlin – was your favorite?

      I can't really remember.


      Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

      I definitely laughed a lot.


      Any additional comments?

      Nope.

      0 of 1 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Sandy Thomas Hanalei, HI United States 07-04-12
      Sandy Thomas Hanalei, HI United States 07-04-12 Member Since 2010
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      "Full of belly laughs"
      Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

      This is an extremely entertaining performance--epic George Carlin. Funny, challenging, and good for the non-existent soul.


      What other book might you compare When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? to and why?

      Any of Bill Maher's


      Have you listened to any of George Carlin???s other performances before? How does this one compare?

      They are all wonderul, but this fits my religious views.


      Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

      Laughed and cryed -- for joy.


      Any additional comments?

      For those who don't agree with George or me, it's still funny. Always good to challenge your views.

      0 of 1 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Tammy 02-21-12
      Tammy 02-21-12

      Wife, mom of one amazing son, and I have the second best job in the world, working in a bookstore :)

      HELPFUL VOTES
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      "I miss George!"
      Would you listen to When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? again? Why?

      I would and I have. I just love George Carlins view on everything.


      Would you recommend When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? to your friends? Why or why not?

      Yes and no. If my friends were religious, they may take offense.


      Have you listened to any of George Carlin’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

      No I have not, just his stand up comedy on TV and that is very similar


      Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

      No, I just like to listen when I need a laugh.


      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Randy Havelock, NC, United States 09-03-10
      Randy Havelock, NC, United States 09-03-10 Member Since 2015
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      3
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      "Very little comedy"

      I grew up with Carlin & have enjoyed much of his rants. If you're looking for comedy, however, you'll find virtually none here. I chuckled twice, I think, & smiled 3 or 4 times. You may enjoy if you’re in a cynical mood, but not if you’re looking for humor.

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Jim 03-08-10
      Jim 03-08-10 Member Since 2011
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      "Not up to standards"

      I like Carlin but this is NOT his best work.

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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