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When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? | [George Carlin]

When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

Following his two New York Times best sellers, Brain Droppings and Napalm & Silly Putty, comes George Carlin's third audiobook, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, a riotous journey through the mind of one of America's premiere comic observers.
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Publisher's Summary

Following his two New York Times best sellers, Brain Droppings and Napalm & Silly Putty, comes George Carlin's third audiobook, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, a riotous journey through the mind of one of America's premiere comic observers.

Ranging from his absurdist side (Message from a Cockroach; TV News: The Death of Humpty Dumpty; Tips for Serial Killers) to his unerring ear for American speech (Politician Talk; Societal Cliches; 13 Sections of Euphemisms) to his unsparing views on America and its values (War, God, Stuff Like That; Zero Tolerance; Tired of the Handi-crap), Carlin's legendary irreverence and iconoclasm are on full display as he vainly scours the American landscape for signs of intelligence.

He also has a silly side:

  • You know what kind of guy you never see anymore? A fop.
  • A good motto to live by: "Always try not to get killed."
  • I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
  • A lot of gay men stay in the closet because they're interested in fashion.
  • I have an impersonal trainer. We meet at the gym, we don't talk, he works out alone, and I go home.
  • Here's something you can't do by yourself: practice shaking hands.
  • When it comes to God's existence, I'm not an atheist and I'm not an agnostic. I'm an acrostic. The whole thing puzzles me.
  • Good news for senior citizens: Death is near!
  • O.J. Simpson has already received the ultimate punishment: For the rest of his life he has to associate with golfers.

    ©2004 Comedy Concepts, Inc.; (P)2004 Hyperion

  • What the Critics Say

    • Audie Award Finalist, Humor, 2005
    • 2005 Quill Award Nominee
    • Grammy Award Nominee, Best Spoken Word Album, 2005

    "There's no better way to enjoy one of Carlin's books than to hear him read it himself....Carlin has his comic timing down pat. His energetic reading is punctuated by conversational bits and enhanced by his deft vocal variation, making listeners feel as if they've got a front-row seat at one of his comedy shows." (Publishers Weekly)

    What Members Say

    Average Customer Rating

    3.4 (978 )
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    3.8 (231 )
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    4.2 (235 )
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    Performance
    Sort by:
    •  
      Craig Spring, TX, USA 02-21-09
      Craig Spring, TX, USA 02-21-09 Member Since 2008
      HELPFUL VOTES
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      "Prolific Hystericalness"

      This book contains a few of Carlin's known bits used mainly in the late 90's and 00's HBO concerts, but it also contains a plethora of previously "unperformed" material. The fact that Carlin reads this himself is important as he adds his own personal flare to his material. There are some pieces which left me with sore sides from the laughter.

      Carlin's command and use (or usage) of the English language is sublime. Indeed, there are numerous related pieces about euphemisms, going for more in-depth than any of his concert material had ever done. His clever wit and repartee is released and unbounded in this performance.

      If you disapprove of profanity, than Carlin is not an artist you would appreciate, as he sometimes uses profanity the way Van Gogh used bush, paint, and canvas. And, I imagine some of this is "B material" as it didn't make the cut for his stand up concerts. Or perhaps he didn't have enough time to perform these bits, as there is probably six hours of previously unperformed material.

      If you are a Carlin fan, you'll want to get this performance. Jesus/Pork Chops is an important capstone to his lengthy, prolific and influential career. Though not his last recording or performance, it certainly contains hours of previously unreleased material, that is mostly of as high a quality as the material from his albums and HBO concerts.

      4 of 6 people found this review helpful
    •  
      William Dallas, TX, USA 10-24-04
      William Dallas, TX, USA 10-24-04 Member Since 2015
      HELPFUL VOTES
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      "Build Your IQ While Laughing"

      Fortunately Mr. Carlin is not running for President, as his perspective is way out of the "mainstream". His cynacism and his almost God-less agnosticism combined with a carefully delivered, gratuitous raunch, can be a challenge to the most open minded of God fearing folks. However, brandishing a super-sharp intellect, and a subtle but real concern for the well being of humanity, George presents insightful alternative points of view, the consideration of which is immensely rewarded with continuous, uncontrolled bouts of liberating laughter.

      8 of 13 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Michael Lower Sackville, Nova Scotia, Canada 10-26-04
      Michael Lower Sackville, Nova Scotia, Canada 10-26-04
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      "Not for the close minded"

      Anyone who comes expecting George Carlin to be anyone but himself is lost. His fans will enjoy this, as did I.

      10 of 17 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Emmy Mandeville, LA, USA 02-10-05
      Emmy Mandeville, LA, USA 02-10-05
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      "That was fun."

      I love George Carlin for being so raunchy, so gross, and so much fun, but some moments, when he gets into really graphic detail about snot or scabs, I got a little queasy. Don't listen if you just ate, otherwise, enjoy. It's really funny.

      3 of 5 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Joseph Australia 11-02-04
      Joseph Australia 11-02-04 Member Since 2008
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      "A book I COULD put down"

      I've loved George Carlin. And I identify with many of his views on life. But his latest book is missing the most important ingredient of the ones I've loved in the past; humor. This book (and I confess I could not finish it) is just not funny. I wanted it to be. I expected it to be. It wasn't.
      I listened beyond my normal tolerance hoping for a major turn, but after I had dutifully hung on for nearly 75%, I put myself out of my misery and turned my iPod back to something funnier; the presidential debates.

      21 of 38 people found this review helpful
    •  
      L. Heath Mcdonald SLC, Ut 08-15-13
      L. Heath Mcdonald SLC, Ut 08-15-13
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      "Entertaining and Thought Provoking!"
      What did you like best about When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?? What did you like least?

      I think George Carlin has some wonderful insights in this book.


      What was your reaction to the ending? (No spoilers please!)

      What can I say, it's George.


      What does George Carlin bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

      His delivery! Audio all the way.


      Do you think When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?

      No. Well, because he's dead. R.I.P. I think he'd appreciate that sentiment. No, really... I wish he was still around, but I do feel he left a great legacy that has influenced some of our great comedians today.


      Any additional comments?

      Sometimes the truth is best served with humor!

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Trash man Tokyo, Japan 03-19-13
      Trash man Tokyo, Japan 03-19-13 Member Since 2013
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      "Very funny."
      Would you consider the audio edition of When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? to be better than the print version?

      Yes, much better. Hearing George Carlin's words with his voice made the book funnier.


      What other book might you compare When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? to and why?

      Bossypants by Tina Fey. I think comedy books read by the author is similar to listening to a comedy album.


      Which character – as performed by George Carlin – was your favorite?

      I can't really remember.


      Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

      I definitely laughed a lot.


      Any additional comments?

      Nope.

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Sandy Thomas Hanalei, HI United States 07-04-12
      Sandy Thomas Hanalei, HI United States 07-04-12 Member Since 2010
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      "Full of belly laughs"
      Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

      This is an extremely entertaining performance--epic George Carlin. Funny, challenging, and good for the non-existent soul.


      What other book might you compare When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? to and why?

      Any of Bill Maher's


      Have you listened to any of George Carlin???s other performances before? How does this one compare?

      They are all wonderul, but this fits my religious views.


      Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

      Laughed and cryed -- for joy.


      Any additional comments?

      For those who don't agree with George or me, it's still funny. Always good to challenge your views.

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Donna LaPorte, IN, United States 07-02-12
      Donna LaPorte, IN, United States 07-02-12
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      "George at his best"
      Would you listen to When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? again? Why?

      No, he said it all the first read.


      Who was your favorite character and why?

      George, of course.


      Have you listened to any of George Carlin’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

      Yes. It's as entertaining and thought provoking as all of his work is.


      Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

      Several.


      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Tammy 02-21-12
      Tammy 02-21-12

      Wife, mom of one amazing son, and I have the second best job in the world, working in a bookstore :)

      HELPFUL VOTES
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      "I miss George!"
      Would you listen to When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? again? Why?

      I would and I have. I just love George Carlins view on everything.


      Would you recommend When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? to your friends? Why or why not?

      Yes and no. If my friends were religious, they may take offense.


      Have you listened to any of George Carlin’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

      No I have not, just his stand up comedy on TV and that is very similar


      Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

      No, I just like to listen when I need a laugh.


      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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