After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, 28-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his 73-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is “like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,” has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:
“That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won’t screw you. Don’t do it for them.”
“Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking.”
“The worst thing you can be is a liar...Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two.”
More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern’s philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes.
An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny’s, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns’ kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh-t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.
©2010 Justin Halpern (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers
“If you’re wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes.” (Christian Lander, New York Times best-selling author of Stuff White People Like)
My favorite genres are absurdist humor, Sci-fi & modern fantasy, but, as you can see, I'll read just about anything. Don't mind the typos.
"We're out of Grape Nuts... No, what's left is for me. Sorry, I should have said "You're out of Grape Nuts." LOL! I loved every page of this book.
Goodreads reviewer and blogger... also dentist and wife/mom when I get the time!
How fabulous was that?!
I was expecting this book to be funny and quotable, but I wasn't expecting it to be so touching.
I think when I heard the concept for this book I expected Sam Halpern to be kind of a dick. A funny dick, but a sort of mean and grumpy person. Though he is really direct, I was shocked at how kind and loving Sam Halpern was. Hilarious and supportive, that is how I would describe him.
This book was like a humorous lesson in valuing family. As a parent, I related to SO much of this story. And as a kid of parents who are still very much involved in my life, I also related to Justin, too. I really got the dynamic between Sam and Justin, and I found myself smiling and nodding along the entire time I was listening.
As an audiobook, this was excellent. Sean Schemmel really killed the narration, getting all of the characters' voices perfectly and with nice inflection and cadence. This was a super easy listen, perfect for when you are kind of busy and can't focus on a long story, but still want something to entertain you.
The book is read well, but the format is better suited to a "waiting room" or "bathroom" book - where you're only reading snipets at a time. It's funny, and the reader's voices are great, but one-liners don't make for a great listen.
The father, this man reminds me of my mom and the s@#t she says
his voice was good , all the characters were portrayed equally
should be longer
This was a good purchase during one of the half-price sales. It's too slight to be worth a full credit but I must say I loved it and laughed out loud often. What I enjoyed the most was the way the dad (and Justin) were able to say such jerky things but with such obvious affection for each other. It's not easy to insult others with love and without condescension. And the final story about the dad's first wife was a nice touch that gave the book a little heft without ruining the good times. The narrator perfectly captures what the dad's voice should sound like: abrasive yet funny. However, the narrator is HORRIBLE at women's voices, to the point that they're almost insulting. (One of my favorite lines: "Being three years old doesn't give you a license to be an a*hole.")
Hi, I'm a cop, alumi of NYU and I'm also huge into MMA. I love books I read a lot and review the stand outs. I'll give you guys the goods.
This is a amazingly funny novel that really have a few deep and touching moments thrown in. I highly recommend getting this one.
Travel a lot for work and spend a good deal of time in the car.
This amazing book lends credit to the line
Loved the narration!!!
The dad is absolutely hilarious!
I liked his character because it reminded me a lot of my dad! Also, you don't expect him to be a doctor and that completely throws you off!!!
Made me laugh out loud!
This is a wonderful audiobook. Very, VERY funny, and surprisingly touching at the same time. Dad's a good guy, he just believes in talking bluntly - very bluntly. My kind of guy!
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