Sh-t My Dad Says

By: Justin Halpern

Narrated by: Sean Schemmel

Length: 3 hrs and 8 mins

Publisher's summary

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, 28-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his 73-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is “like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,” has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:

“That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won’t screw you. Don’t do it for them.”

“Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking.”

“The worst thing you can be is a liar...Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two.”

More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern’s philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes.

An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny’s, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns’ kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh-t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

©2010 Justin Halpern (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic reviews

“If you’re wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes.” (Christian Lander, New York Times best-selling author of Stuff White People Like)

Hilarious!

Would you listen to Sh-t My Dad Says again? Why?

Yes. Very funny and original. Great narrator.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Sh-t My Dad Says?

Too many.

Which scene was your favorite?

Enjoyed all of it.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

Yes, the last chapter.

Any additional comments?

No.

amazing

I honestly would stop the car laughing. poignant funny and heartwarming, definitely worth your time enjoy

A funny and interesting way to see things...

This audiobook worth every second, couldn't stop laughing on how creative his dad is, when it comes about expressing the way he sees life; also it isn't all about silly laugh, there is touchable moments too, in a way it made remind my old man... I will certainly recommend this audiobook to all my friends.

Hilarious book, Hilarious voices!

The narrator does an amazing job by using multiple voices to differentiate between all of the separate characters.

OMG , THATS MY DAD!!!

I simply thought it was funny as hell !! My father was straight forwad no bull crap guy just like this dad. No time to think about people's feelings when he has something to say. I wish this book was longer

This book is amazing!

The only way you will laugh uncontrollably and love every second of this book is if you are a parent, or if you've ever had a parent.

Good one

Very funny. A good one well narrated. I would recommend this. Thanks to Audible for having this.

Good, but...

I liked the effort the author made to honor his father by publishing his sayings, and the content is often funny and pithy (if you're offended by cursing, you may want to avoid this one), but the narrator's fake gruff imitation of the father's voice grew tiresome about halfway through and eventually became so irritating to me that I stopped listening about the 3/4 mark. I haven't gone back to finish yet, because it's that type of activity you feel like you'd love to complete, but for some reason you have such an aversion to it that you can't bring yourself to engage in it again.

While the father said things he believed or felt, he came across as a bit uncaring at times, which left me wondering about the relationship he had with the author. Perhaps the answer comes at the end of the book and that will either be discovered or will remain a mystery depending upon my motivation to finish...which currently, is very low.

I was encouraged by the reviews of others and decided to give it a listen, but found it lacking on the narration side. Going forward, I will pay attention to my Note to Self: Reviews are just opinions and may not mesh with your own.

love it it was well put together love it love it

love it it was well put together love it love it. my enjoyed it too

Absolutely Hilarious

Would you listen to Sh-t My Dad Says again? Why?

I already have -- it's a short listen and still makes me laugh. The first listen had me in tears at some points it was so funny.

Who was your favorite character and why?

I liked the narrator because he showed growth and insightfulness into what makes his dad so great and what kind of impact this had on him.

Which character – as performed by Sean Schemmel – was your favorite?

The dad -- Sean Schemmel did a great job with the voice transitions and really making me feel the difference in the personalities

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

yes -- i parked my car in the driveway to get a few more minutes in

Any additional comments?

don't listen to it around kids....