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Royally Screwed
- British Monarchy Revealed
- Narrated by: Jacalyn Flax
- Length: 4 hrs and 8 mins
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Publisher's summary
Who are they really? Gluckstein? Schlesswig? Coburg? Battenberg? Holstein? Pils? Maybe not Holstein Pils, but definitely Holstein, Schloss, Saxe, Coburg...Windsors? Is it any wonder they are confused, and without doubt, dysfunctional!
This is Britain's first family and yep, they are not even British. But let's not hold that against them, it may even be a plus! Many truly great people are not even British, but who cares about them?
These people know how to throw a party, put on a wedding and without doubt, they have the BEST funerals. Please, Hollywood, do you know how to draw an audience of half the world's population to one of your lame movies? Best box office weekend, six million?
Give me a break, Diana's funeral drew a viewing audience of 320 million and the BBC weren't even allowed to film La Familia Windsoreo, in the church. All you got was Elton John and a wooden box, and let's face it, it was the greatest television EVER. Four hours and four boxes of tissues later. It was dramatic and powerful and several hours later we got to see the star turn. No, not Elton. We had already seen him, but Her Majesty.
The Queen did make her appearance later in the proceedings. This was a very big deal, because she walked out of Buckingham Palace as the coffin passed and she made a historical neck bow as it passed. This was a big deal because no Queen, especially not this Queen, had ever done such a thing. Not ever before in the history of Queens.
It's always amazing to me that millions of people will turn out from all over the world to see a woman who doesn't sing, dance or tell jokes, and usually doesn't even smile; but merely waves a gloved hand under a wide brimmed hat. There is no-one else alive today who can command that type of universal acclaim or interest. No politician, rock star or actor.
It is a phenomenon. In the book Royally Screwed, we examine the thousand year institution to which this particular Queen belongs. An institution which was as ruthless as it was determined.
We look at the feuding Feudal system which began in England between five very powerful families and how eventually through wars and a great deal of family murders and inbreeding, one family emerged superior and held the power over the entire country.
Move along several centuries; a civil war. Two Queens are beheaded, another civil war and a King is removed from the throne and beheaded. A decade later, this man's son is brought back from France and made King, but is no longer allowed any real power, ‘We reign, not rule!' said George V, although his eldest son, Edward VIII, felt differently and tried to work a deal out with Hitler. After abdicating, he was never allowed home again, forced into exile in the Bahamas and ending his life in France, only returning to plead poverty and beg for money; and then the family sold his wife's jewellery after she died, and raised £63 million, you couldn't make this stuff up.
The world turns, war comes. Political movements thrive and then whither and yet, through it all, they survive. But does an Institution which is more longstanding than the King James Bible and Shakespeare but not quite as permanent as the Pyramids, collapse under a box of Tampax?
The truth is, it very well might. The Royals have got away with stupidity and misbehaviour in the past, but in today's need to know internet, 24-hour news society, the spotlight is forever shinning in their direction.
Former Kings may have gotten away with murder, pedophilia and mistresses, but in an extremely cash strapped society, the British public better approve of what they are paying for. He who pays the piper calls the tune, so unless you are a shining example of honesty, integrity and morality that I can hold upto my children with pride, then why are you here?
Enjoy Royally Screwed, it's my gift to the Monarchy, to the British public and the rest of the commonwealth. A gift nobody needs or wants, but as I'm no Indian giver, I don't want it back.
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By: Susan Bordo
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Things I've Been Silent About
- By: Azar Nafisi
- Narrated by: Naila Azad
- Length: 13 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Azar Nafisi, author of the beloved international best seller Reading Lolita in Tehran, now gives us a stunning personal story of growing up in Iran, memories of her life lived in thrall to a powerful and complex mother, against the background of a country's political revolution.
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Family portrait in the frame of history
- By Galina COS on 07-02-16
By: Azar Nafisi
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Diana
- Finally, the Complete Story
- By: Sarah Bradford
- Narrated by: Katherine Kellgren
- Length: 15 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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An icon remembered as vividly in death as she appeared in life, Diana, Princess of Wales, is one of the most enduring personalities of the 20th century, and one of the most enigmatic. Admired, almost worshipped, a forceful presence in society and fashion and a devoted mother, she was also plagued by rumor and scandal throughout her brief life. Using exclusive new interviews and eyewitness testimony, Sarah Bradford now casts aside the gossip and lies to separate myth from truth.
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Andrew Morton’s book does not even compare
- By LAtoLondonPlz on 07-31-20
By: Sarah Bradford
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Princess
- A True Story of Life Behind the Veil in Saudi Arabia
- By: Jean Sasson
- Narrated by: Catherine Byers
- Length: 7 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Princess describes the life of Princess Sultana Al Sa'ud, a princess in the royal house of Saudi Arabia. Hidden behind her black veil, she is a prisoner, jailed by her father, her husband, and her country. Sultana tells of appalling oppressions, everyday occurrences that in any other culture would be seen as shocking human rights violations: 13-year-old girls forced to marry men five times their age; young women killed by drowning, stoning, or isolation in the "women's room". Princess is a testimony to a woman of indomitable spirit and courage.
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Good story but...
- By Jay Friedman on 07-25-14
By: Jean Sasson
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Committed
- A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage
- By: Elizabeth Gilbert
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Gilbert
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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At the end of her best-selling memoir Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert fell in love with Felipe, a Brazilian-born man of Australian citizenship who'd been living in Indonesia when they met. Resettling in America, the couple swore eternal fidelity to each other, but also swore to never, ever, under any circumstances get legally married. But providence intervened one day in the form of the United States government....
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Perfect timing
- By Nancy on 01-15-10
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The Anne Boleyn Collection
- The Real Truth About the Tudors
- By: Claire Ridgway
- Narrated by: Claire Ridgway
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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The Anne Boleyn Collection" brings together the most popular articles from top Tudor website The Anne Boleyn Files. Articles which have provoked discussion and debate. Articles that people have found fascinating.
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wonderful, better than most
- By Mary Elizabeth Reynolds on 04-24-14
By: Claire Ridgway
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The Diana Chronicles
- By: Tina Brown
- Narrated by: Rosalyn Landor
- Length: 21 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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In The Diana Chronicles, you will meet a formidable female cast and understand as never before the society that shaped them: among them, Diana's sexually charged mother, her bad-girl sister-in-law, Fergie, and, most formidable of them all, her mother-in-law, the Queen. Add Camilla Parker-Bowles, the ultimate "other woman" into this combustible mix, and it's no wonder that Diana broke out of her royal cage into celebrity culture, where she found her own power and used it to devastating effect.
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One of the best Diana's
- By J F Whitmore on 08-02-12
By: Tina Brown
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The Queen Mother
- The Untold Story of Elizabeth Bowes Lyon, Who Became Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother
- By: Lady Colin Campbell
- Narrated by: Jennifer M. Dixon
- Length: 25 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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For the first time, Lady Colin Campbell reveals the fascinating and moving life of The Queen Mother. With unparalleled sources, including members of the Royal Family, aristocrats, and friends and relatives of Elizabeth herself, this mesmerizing account takes us inside the real and sometimes astonishing world of the royal family.
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A Real Person
- By The Barbster on 01-05-19
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An American Bride in Kabul
- By: Phyllis Chesler PhD
- Narrated by: Janet Metzger
- Length: 10 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Few westerners will ever be able to understand Muslim or Afghan society unless they are part of a Muslim family. Twenty years old and in love, Phyllis Chesler, a Jewish-American girl from Brooklyn, embarked on an adventure that has lasted for more than a half-century. Drawing upon her personal diaries, Chesler recounts her ordeal, the nature of gender apartheid - and her longing to explore this beautiful, ancient, and exotic country and culture.
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An Exceptional Book
- By Elaine Fresco on 04-16-19
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Victoria: The Queen
- An Intimate Biography of the Woman Who Ruled an Empire
- By: Julia Baird
- Narrated by: Lucy Rayner
- Length: 21 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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When Victoria was born, in 1819, the world was a very different place. Revolution would threaten many of Europe’s monarchies in the coming decades. In Britain, a generation of royals had indulged their whims at the public’s expense, and republican sentiment was growing. The Industrial Revolution was transforming the landscape, and the British Empire was commanding ever larger tracts of the globe. In a world where women were often powerless, during a century roiling with change, Victoria went on to rule the most powerful country on earth with a decisive hand.
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Masterpiece!!
- By DKSTRYKER on 01-07-24
By: Julia Baird
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Inside the Kingdom
- My Life In Saudi Arabia
- By: Carmen bin Ladin
- Narrated by: Shohreh Aghdashloo
- Length: 6 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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On September 11, 2001, Carmen bin Ladin heard the news that the Twin Towers had been struck. She instinctively knew that her brother-in-law was involved in these horrifying acts of terrorism, and her heart went out to America. She also knew that her life and the lives of her daughters would never be the same again.
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An inside view of the Saudi women's life
- By Richard on 08-04-04
By: Carmen bin Ladin
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Victoria
- A Life
- By: A. N. Wilson
- Narrated by: Clive Chafer
- Length: 21 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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The longest reigning British monarch and female sovereign in history, Queen Victoria was a figure of profound paradox who has mystified historians for over a century. Now in this magisterial biography, A.N. Wilson rebukes the conventional wisdom about her life - that she was merely a "funny little woman in a bonnet" who did next to nothing - to show she was in fact intensely involved in state affairs despite a public façade of inaction.
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This book has old and new info
- By Dr. A. on 10-29-14
By: A. N. Wilson
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The Palace Papers
- Inside the House of Windsor - the Truth and the Turmoil
- By: Tina Brown
- Narrated by: Tina Brown
- Length: 18 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Tina Brown has been observing and chronicling the British monarchy for three decades, and her sweeping account is full of powerful revelations, newly reported details, and searing insight gleaned from remarkable access to royal insiders. Stylish, witty, and erudite, The Palace Papers will irrevocably change how the world perceives and understands the royal family.
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Tina Brown reads her book
- By Karen on 04-26-22
By: Tina Brown
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Aavarana
- The Veil
- By: Sandeep Balakrishna - translator, S. L. Bhyrappa
- Narrated by: Deepti Gupta
- Length: 14 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Aavarana: The Veil by S. L. Bhyrappa is a story of a free-spirited and rebellious young woman, Lakshmi, who marries the man she is deeply in love with. Amir, her husband, requests she convert to Islam, and she reluctantly agrees. Despite her father being completely against the marriage, she breaks ties with him and changes her name to Razia. However, things change for the worse, and she discovers a different side to Amir. He is not the progressive and liberal person she thought he was.
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Excellent Narration
- By Vikram on 04-10-23
By: Sandeep Balakrishna - translator, and others
What listeners say about Royally Screwed
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Danielle Deininger
- 12-19-13
Hilarious Book!
If you could sum up Royally Screwed in three words, what would they be?
Funny, Accurate, entertaining
What was one of the most memorable moments of Royally Screwed?
Fairies in the castle
Which character – as performed by Jacalyn Flax – was your favorite?
The Camilla story was my favorite
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
The chapter Diana's Legacy
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Overall
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- Amazon Customer
- 11-01-15
Don't Bother
What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?
From the description I expected an education on the history of the monarchy down through the ages, focused on the underbelly not usually exposed in textbooks and the like; instead, this is an absurdly long diatribe against Charles & Camilla, with the odd bit of history thrown in.
What could Jacalynne Flax have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?
This "book" is lurching and disorganised and devolves repeatedly into rants about the current Prince of Wales and his wife. The author could possibly have built an argument for her ultimate thesis, that: 1) Prince Charles and Camilla are a pair of morally bankrupt narcissists and all that differentiates them is that he has a penis, which is much over-used, and she has ambition, which he lacks utterly, and 2) this is perhaps to be expected given the history of royalty in Europe and particularly in Britain,by exploring that history,
but she fails to do so
Who would you have cast as narrator instead of Jacalyn Flax?
The author/narrator sounds like she is drunk throughout as much of this audiobook as I could force myself to listen to (about half). If indeed she was drunk when recording this, perhaps she would be just fine if she recorded sober and were to read something worth recording; who knows?
If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from Royally Screwed?
I would have done just what the various publishers she sent it to did and rejected it outright.
Any additional comments?
I would demand my money back, but I am not sure how to go about it.
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1 person found this helpful