We are currently making improvements to the Audible site. In an effort to enhance the accessibility experience for our customers, we have created a page to more easily navigate the new experience, available at the web address www.audible.com/access.
Call anytime(888) 283-5051
 >   > 
Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me | [Chelsea's Family, Friends, and Other Victims]

Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me

Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness", the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers - they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.
Regular Price:$20.99
  • Membership Details:
    • First book free with 30-day trial
    • $14.95/month thereafter for your choice of 1 new book each month
    • Cancel easily anytime
    • Exchange books you don't like
    • All selected books are yours to keep, even if you cancel
  • - or -

Your Likes make Audible better!

'Likes' are shared on Facebook and Audible.com. We use your 'likes' to improve Audible.com for all our listeners.

You can turn off Audible.com sharing from your Account Details page.

OK

Publisher's Summary

"My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate."
—Chelsea Handler, from Chapter 10 of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

It's no lie: Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness", the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers - they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.

©2011 Chelsea Handler (P)2011 Hachette Audio

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

3.9 (368 )
5 star
 (139)
4 star
 (100)
3 star
 (86)
2 star
 (23)
1 star
 (20)
Overall
3.8 (264 )
5 star
 (94)
4 star
 (79)
3 star
 (53)
2 star
 (22)
1 star
 (16)
Story
3.9 (261 )
5 star
 (109)
4 star
 (64)
3 star
 (56)
2 star
 (19)
1 star
 (13)
Performance
Sort by:
  •  
    Joshua United States 05-24-11
    Joshua United States 05-24-11 Member Since 2002

    long commute=audible reading time

    HELPFUL VOTES
    14
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    128
    11
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    1
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Not as good as "Vodka, it's Chelse...""

    I got this after literally rolling on the floor listening to "Vodka, it's Chelsea." While this was kinda of funny, it just wasn't as good. Could be cause it is based entirely on pranks she pulls rather than her self-deprecating humor that was so funny.

    8 of 8 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kathleen Spruce Grove, Alberta 05-26-11
    Kathleen Spruce Grove, Alberta 05-26-11 Member Since 2009

    I work in sales for a cellphone company and so obviously love technology. I couldn't function without my Audible apps on my phones!!

    HELPFUL VOTES
    31
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    165
    14
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    2
    1
    Overall
    "Money Grab… Chelsea Owes Me a Credit!"

    First off let me say I am (or rather was) a huge Chelsea fan! When she is on her A game she is possibly the funniest woman alive. Her previous 3 books have had me laughing out loud and sharing them with all my girlfriends.
    This book however is simply a sad attempt at a money grab. It appears as though Chelsea had nothing to do with this book, yet has shamelessly plastered her name and image all over it. Granted the stories are about her (for the most part) but are written by others poorly attempting to emulate her style. Its truly terrible and they should all be ashamed. *Spoiler Alert* One chapter is ‘written by’ Chunk… Yes Chunk. Her dog. Need I say more?
    I have never been more annoyed over the complete waste of a credit! I warn you, if you are hoping for classic Chelsea, skip this and just re-enjoy one of her old books.

    6 of 6 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Angela United States 01-08-13
    Angela United States 01-08-13
    HELPFUL VOTES
    8
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    18
    11
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "I loved it... but I "get" the humor."
    Would you listen to Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me again? Why?

    I listened to this without first reading other reviews, because Chelsea Handler makes me laugh on a nightly basis. Now reading them, I don't understand other reviewers saying, "I love her, but reading this makes me realize that she's cruel/immature/mean..." Have you never seen her?

    I think most people don't have friendships that are so obnoxiously immature on the outside. I think that's why they don't "get it." My core group of friends/family say and do crazy things to each other constantly in order to get a laugh. If you sat in a room with my best friend and I, you'd think we hated each other by the way we talk sometimes. However, the people in my world would do ANYTHING for me, and I for them. There isn't one person in this book that doesn't say that very thing about her.

    If you don't get why people do obnoxious things to their friends, this book isn't for you... but then again, I don't know why you'd read it in the first place. If you can watch Chelsea Handler's show and not get that she's obnoxious and bitchy, you're missing something. This book answers the question, "I wonder how bitchy she really can be," answer being, "A LOT." It's college frat boy humor... she's a jackass boy with breasts.

    I thought this book was funnier than VODKA... I actually didn't like that one at all. Having said that, I didn't think every narrator was great, but I did like hearing each voice separately. I do think that Chelsea Handler should have narrated her own part. Hearing other voices, especially those you "know" (Heather McDonald, Josh Wolf, Roy Handler) makes it weird when someone is else is reading her part. There are also musical transitions separating each chapter that I thought were weird and out of place.


    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Arielle Sherman, TX, United States 11-24-12
    Arielle Sherman, TX, United States 11-24-12 Member Since 2012
    HELPFUL VOTES
    4
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    19
    17
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Meh. Maybe..."
    What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

    The energy from some of the narrators was a little dead. It felt as if they had been reading for hours, and they were at the very end and restless.

    It would have been so much better if Chelsea Handler could have read her parts. Everybody else read their own parts. Chelsea Handler has such a nice voice...


    Has Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me turned you off from other books in this genre?

    No. I think I'll just have to pay more attention to the reviews before i purchase.


    What did you like about the performance? What did you dislike?

    I like that the stories were told by the people who wrote it, and by the people the events happened to. It was nice that they were able to mimic the sounds of surprise or the accents spoken. The pauses were accurate and done in a way that I would not have been able to imagine reading on my own.

    See above for dislikes.


    You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

    The book was entertaining. It made me giggle on the inside often. It was just evident that none of these people are used to writing in book format. It was so poorly written, that even the decent performances couldn't save it. It was entertaining and worth a listen if it is free.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Andrea Austin, TX, United States 07-16-12
    Andrea Austin, TX, United States 07-16-12
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    5
    4
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "The characters become real"
    What made the experience of listening to Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me the most enjoyable?

    The characters in all of Handler's previous books finally become real and take the reins in this book.


    What did you like best about this story?

    Chelsea graciously replies to each story with her own rebuttal in the only way she knows how: delightfully insulting.


    Which scene was your favorite?

    Chelsea is able to bring those around her into her schemes to make them more realistic. She convinces can take somebody's weakness and exploit it to the brink of destruction. She had an OCD colleague convinced that her employee was becoming her adoptive son, living with her, going on vacations with her, not paying rent... but it was never true. This wouldn't bother most people, but Chelsea knew an OCD wouldn't be able to take it. Brilliant.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    Everything. I'd love to be Chelsea's friend.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Maureen McDaniel Santa Rosa, CA USA 08-01-11
    Maureen McDaniel Santa Rosa, CA USA 08-01-11 Member Since 2005
    HELPFUL VOTES
    18
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    65
    30
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    1
    Overall
    "Unfunny"

    I loved 'Vodka' and I have to compare the laugh-out-loud humor of that book to this one, which offers just a few smiles. And these aren't worth wading through all the cruel pranks that are reported with no real explanation of why these people are Chelsea's 'friends' except that they're on the payroll. I tried hard to like this, but my mood and morale were deteriorating from all the pointless profanity, slimy images, and unchallenging, childish humor.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Martha McCarthy Dublin, Ireland 05-14-14
    Martha McCarthy Dublin, Ireland 05-14-14
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    1
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Brilliant, such a good laugh would recommend it"
    Would you consider the audio edition of Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me to be better than the print version?

    Yes, because it is read by the people who have experienced the stories themselves it makes it a lot funnier to hear


    What other book might you compare Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me to and why?

    other Chelsea Handler books


    Which scene was your favorite?

    the wedding scene with the Shania Twain performance


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    yes


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Brandin Los Angeles, CA, United States 04-04-14
    Brandin Los Angeles, CA, United States 04-04-14 Member Since 2011
    HELPFUL VOTES
    6
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    26
    18
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Love all of Chelsea's books. But this one sucks."

    It's weird bc I'm such a fan of Chelsea, but her friends are a tad annoying in this book. For example, it seems like they've all listened to her self-read audiobooks & sort of emulated her performance style. badly.

    also....and maybe it's just me....but are all of these people super super stupid? if chelsea is such a known prankster, wouldn't most of these pranks have been visible from space? Once guy is duped into leaving his honeymoon early b/c he was told that TIME Magazine was putting the writing staff of Chelsea Lately on the COVER. Reeeeeally? Seriously? I mean, I know that Time Magazine does actually dumb down the American version of its publication by making it more pop culture skewed ((that's actually true...the rest of the world gets another version of the magazine....wtf)) but, seriously.....i don't think i need to continue. You get it. It's OBVIOUSLY a prank. Jeez.

    so many other examples....and none really that funny, except probably to the people involved.

    Oof. Wait for Uganda to Be Kidding Me to come out on audible.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jeanine Galloway, OH, United States 04-08-12
    Jeanine Galloway, OH, United States 04-08-12 Member Since 2009
    HELPFUL VOTES
    37
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    8
    8
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    16
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Yuck and more yuck!"
    What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

    Nothing at all. These are horrible stories about practical jokes that are way to over the top for my taste. I do think she if funny but the things she does to the people in her life are horrible and cruel and I guess that is where I draw the line of funny.


    Has Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me turned you off from other books in this genre?

    No, not at all but will just be more careful in the future about reading others reviews.


    You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

    No, I could not even finish it. It made me want my money back for purchasing it.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Renee Santa Ana, CA, United States 11-13-11
    Renee Santa Ana, CA, United States 11-13-11 Member Since 2010
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    6
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "this was a horrible book!"

    I had to stop listening to it because it was sickening to hear how horribly violating Chelsea is to her friends, family, and coworkers. I did not find anything she does to people she knows funny or even interesting. The only reason I purchased it was because several people I know say that she is "hilarious"...I did not find anything about her even remotely funny.

    It was really sad to hear what people closest to her are willing to tolerate just to be near her or associated with her in anyway. It was disgusting. I regret to have wasted my money on this very sad tale of how she violates others and gets away with it, legally and otherwise. I hope that at the very least, the royalties for this "piece" goes to her victims and none to her.

    I will never recommend anything about her to anyone other than those who want to study people with deviant behaviors.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Showing: 1-10 of 16 results PREVIOUS12NEXT

    There are no listener reviews for this title yet.

Report Inappropriate Content

If you find this review inappropriate and think it should be removed from our site, let us know. This report will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.

CANCEL

Thank You

Your report has been received. It will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.