In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...

. . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy

By: Adam Carolla

Narrated by: Adam Carolla

Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins

Publisher's summary

"A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, 'You've got to be kidding me, son.' The bartender replied, 'New policy. Everyone has to show their ID.' Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II."

It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.

Adam Carolla is a radio and television host, comedian, and actor. He is the host of the "Adam Carolla Podcast", before which he hosted a weekday morning radio program broadcast from Los Angeles, and syndicated by CBS Radio. Besides these shows, Carolla is well known as the co-host of the radio show "Loveline" (and its television incarnation on MTV), as the co-creator and co-host of Comedy Central's The Man Show, and as the co-creator and the performer on Comedy Central and MTV's Crank Yankers and is a frequent contributor and contestant on ABC's top-rated program Dancing with the Stars. Carolla also starred in, co-wrote, and co-produced the award-winning independent film, The Hammer. He currently lives in Los Angeles with his wife and their two children.

©2010 Adam Carolla (P)2010 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

"If comedy books were a big-breasted porn collection, In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks would be Christy Canyon." (Bill Simmons, ESPN columnist and best-selling author of The Book of Basketball)

"Adam Carolla is a genius. And no, I'm not kidding."(Jimmy Kimmel)

“I don’t know this guy from Adam, but Carolla’s humor - fearlessly crass, shamelessly honest and irresistibly funny - sucks out like liposuction the layers of fatty pride to expose the often warped and wounded psyche buried deep within the modern American male.”(Ken Burns)

love listening to him

Fun! Whether reading or listening to his books, it always puts a smile on my face.

Hilarious Book

This book is awesome. The fact the "Ace" (Adam Carolla) reads it himself makes it even better. I laughed so many times while listening to this book that I had to stop it just to catch my breath on a few ocassions. Kudos to Adam for writing this and pointing out the little things in life that are both irritating and funny. If you like witty and ocassionally offensive sarcasm, you would be a fool not to buy this book. Thanks for reading this Adam. No other reader could have made it as good as you did.

absolutely loved it! well worth the credits!

I wasn't sure that i was going to be able to deal with 6 hours straight of Adams corolla rants but this was the funniest audio book I have ever heard. Im going to get the written book so I can read some excerpts from to my friends and family. Not only is it funny but its right on I believe in almost everything he said except Immigation ( white guys don't do any hard labor jobs for me in my area no matter how poor they are) but I digress , this is a must for all guys. all previous negative comments must be from chicks

couldn't put it down

Loved this book! It's a bonus that Adam did the narration. The writing is very intelligent and articulate. So refreshing to hear someone speak freely without being worried about political correctness. Hope there is a 2nd edition!

Outstanding

Would you listen to In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks... again? Why?

Really it was pretty hilarious and very inspiring.

Have you listened to any of Adam Carolla’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

No I saw him on the man show and One extremely underrated movie the Hammer ( which is a really great movie go out and watch it )

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

Yeah plain ride, Car ride, or a bs boring job this will get you through whatever.

Any additional comments?

Well worth the price you can go wrong with this one.

Great Rant

The book is more like a 6 hr standup performance than like a book. In fact, I believe it's listed as Abridged because of his purposeful diversions from the printed work.

Love this guy all of his material is gold!

What made the experience of listening to In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks... the most enjoyable?

It is narrated by the author. Adam is hilarious and very fun to listen to.

What was one of the most memorable moments of In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...?

A lot of his memories from high school are just spot on.

What about Adam Carolla’s performance did you like?

He is very real and raw. He doesn't sugar coat anything and just tells you how it was.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

There are many parts in the book I had to pause it for a minute so I didn't crash because I was laughing so hard.

Any additional comments?

He has another book called "Not taco bell material" if you enjoy this book the next one is a must read.

Really Funny!

It's funny, really funny. Society has gone nuts and his take is well worth a listen. Metrosexuals should skip this and go for an $8 Starbucks.

good stuff

This audio book was very entertaining. Part bio, part motivational, part comedy. The audio book allowed Adam to go off the script, he wasnt limited to just reading his book. In fact, it seemed like he used the book as more of an outline. This performance of his was so much more than his paper book can possibly provide. It is an interesting view on a number of subjects, a good life story, and all the while funny. Too much foul language though, but I never stopped listening.

masterpiece!! like a passenger in my car.

Adam carolla made it like having conversation with someone who didn't let you get a word in edgewise. while finding myself yelling back in eager agreement in my car I miss both mesmerized and entertained the entire time. I hope to see more in a series like this... not that I would make a recommendation to a writer of your caliber