In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...

. . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy

By: Adam Carolla

Narrated by: Adam Carolla

Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins

Publisher's summary

"A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, 'You've got to be kidding me, son.' The bartender replied, 'New policy. Everyone has to show their ID.' Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II."

It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.

Adam Carolla is a radio and television host, comedian, and actor. He is the host of the "Adam Carolla Podcast", before which he hosted a weekday morning radio program broadcast from Los Angeles, and syndicated by CBS Radio. Besides these shows, Carolla is well known as the co-host of the radio show "Loveline" (and its television incarnation on MTV), as the co-creator and co-host of Comedy Central's The Man Show, and as the co-creator and the performer on Comedy Central and MTV's Crank Yankers and is a frequent contributor and contestant on ABC's top-rated program Dancing with the Stars. Carolla also starred in, co-wrote, and co-produced the award-winning independent film, The Hammer. He currently lives in Los Angeles with his wife and their two children.

©2010 Adam Carolla (P)2010 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

"If comedy books were a big-breasted porn collection, In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks would be Christy Canyon." (Bill Simmons, ESPN columnist and best-selling author of The Book of Basketball)

"Adam Carolla is a genius. And no, I'm not kidding."(Jimmy Kimmel)

“I don’t know this guy from Adam, but Carolla’s humor - fearlessly crass, shamelessly honest and irresistibly funny - sucks out like liposuction the layers of fatty pride to expose the often warped and wounded psyche buried deep within the modern American male.”(Ken Burns)

It’s Adam being Adam.

A little too much swearing at times, but hilarious stories. I share about 90% of his views, so I would rant along with him.

Adam IS the Voice of Reason

Adam Carolla might rant and rave, but it's pretty much what every reasonable person is already thinking- or would be if the crazy left or right wing didn't try to guilt or bully them out of it. The left and the right might be loud, might have the soapbox, and each might be the flip-side of the same two-party coin, but Adam just tells it like it is, and illustrates time and time again that most people just plain don't think things through, or think critically enough to form reasonable or realistic opinions about anything. Adam's the blue collar hammer-swinging version of Jon Stewart, and not afraid to take on majority opinion or skewer the sacred cows. Adam is a great reader - and equally good at digression - so get an entertaining lesson in common sense with Adam Carolla, and download this now!

Swarma is maybe the best thing I miss about LA

Had so much fun listening. So glad you chose to do the narration yourself. Would recommend highly to everyone...except maybe nunns and small children...heck, nunns would probably like it too. Very entertaining and insightful. I so agree with you about sid and marty and swarma may be the best thing i miss about living in LA. I wish I could get some right now. Thanks Adam,

Very simular to his second book

Any additional comments?

The first half of this book was the same stories as his second book. After that it was damn funny

Great audio book!

Easily the funniest book in my audio library. Carolla’s commentary on racism toward the end of the book is truly enlightening.

The "best of" Carolla's rants

This first audio book by Adam Carolla acts as a “best of” his rants from the past ten years of radio and podcasting. If you are a casual fan of his show, you’ll like this book. If you are a Carolla fanatic, you’ll love it…even though you’ve heard it all before. Either way, buy it. It is very conversational in a one-sided kind of way and covers many real issues as well as what you would expect from a Loveline/Man Show host. I doubt you are considering this listen if you don’t have previous experience with Adam, and if that is the case, check out a few episodes of his podcast before deciding on the book. They are free and there are a lot of them. The guy is one of the funniest and smartest on a mic, and above all, he likes to talk.

Adam shares his story.

Would you consider the audio edition of In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks... to be better than the print version?

When you read a book the story is filtered through your own voice. When a narrator reads an author's book, the story is presented in his voice. Adam read his own book. You rarely have this kind of opportunity.

What was one of the most memorable moments of In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...?

His review of The View. I can't spoil it, you need to listen to the audio.

What does Adam Carolla bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

The audio book does not cover all the material in the book but Adam is such a slow reader that he adds extra material not included in the book.

Any additional comments?

Check out his podcast The Adam Carolla Show.

Hilarious and honest. Get it on!!

Hilarious and honest. Get it on!! You will laugh until you cry, or something like that.

Slightly distilled Carolla

Would you consider the audio edition of In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks... to be better than the print version?

I would consider them more companion pieces. He uses the book as an outline for his reading and then goes off on tangents. You will almost always want to read the book itself first as it's a framework for what he does in the narration.

Have you listened to any of Adam Carolla’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

Yes and if you've listened to one book you've heard them all to some extent.

Excellent

Would you consider the audio edition of In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks... to be better than the print version?

It is great to hear Adam "read" his book, he adds extra stuff thats not in the book. Well Done!