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If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up? Audiobook

If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?: A Parody for Adults

Before they Go the F**k to Sleep, they need to Shut the F**k Up. If you give a kid a cookie, will he shut the f**k up? That is the question at the heart of this hilarious, deeply honest, profanity-laced book for parents who will do whatever it takes for a moment’s peace.
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Publisher's Summary

Before they Go the F**k to Sleep, they need to Shut the F**k Up. If you give a kid a cookie, will he shut the f**k up? That is the question at the heart of this hilarious, deeply honest, profanity-laced book for parents who will do whatever it takes for a moment’s peace.

What really happens when you give in to your child’s tantrums? The events that follow this seemingly simple act will test parents to the breaking point… while entertaining the millions of us who have been there ourselves (and lived to tell). Also a cautionary and instructive tale for new parents, If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F**k Up? is a must-have for every family library collection. Just keep it on the top shelf.

©2011 Marcy Roznick (P)2011 Macmillan Audio

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

3.2 (104 )
5 star
 (21)
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 (28)
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3.0 (94 )
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Story
3.4 (95 )
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3 star
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2 star
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1 star
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Performance
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  •  
    Jim 02-01-12
    Jim 02-01-12
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Did any of the previous reviewers ACTUALLY LISTEN?"

    First of all, you GOTTA be kidding me! An average of only 2.5-to-3.0 stars???

    Really, Nation???

    This is a PARODY of "Go The F**k To Sleep," which was originally narrated by the only voice on the planet which could have possibly narrated "Go The F**k To Sleep"... Samuel L. Jackson.

    And now the resultant "Go The F**k To Sleep" PARODY, "If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?: A Parody for Adults," was, likewise, narrated by the only voice on the planet which could have possibly narrated "If You Give A Kid A Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?"... Bobcat Goldthwait!

    What kind of narrator were people honestly expecting to read this book aloud to them? Stefan Rudnicki?????

    As for the vapid criticism of Mr. Goldthwait's narration performance, are any of the previous reviewers who specifically cited Mr. Goldthwait's narration skills, actually FAMILIAR with Mr. Goldthwait's comedic talents and his unique sense of timing a line for maximum effect?

    I can understand that a few folks who are tight with a buck might be a little bummed that they had to pay $0.93 (if they missed the free for a day gift from Audible) for only 2 minutes of material. Oh, well...

    As for myself, I feel that Marcy Roznick wrote a GREAT little parody and that Macmillan Audio gets bonus points for actually having taken the time to properly voice this short gem by hiring Mr. Goldthwait.

    Kudos all around for a rare, comedic gem!

    6 of 7 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Ellington 12-17-14
    Ellington 12-17-14 Member Since 2008

    JSELLINGTON

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    "Ok - ISH"

    I didnt like it as much as much as Go The F--- to Sleep. I thought it was not as funny or cute.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    KAREN Randallstown, MD, United States 04-09-12
    KAREN Randallstown, MD, United States 04-09-12
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "It was okay for what it was"
    Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

    I am familiar with the If You Give a Kid a Cookie books and this was my first Audible purchase. I mostly just wanted to see how the program worked. The sound is good, but the text came on a little strong for my taste. I don't know if its only the text or the combinationn of text and voice of Bobcat Goldthwait. So, it's over the top (IMHO) for the text, but mild for Goldthwait.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer 12-31-15
    HELPFUL VOTES
    8
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    "boring"

    At first the title caught my eye but then when I listend to it is was not at all pretty or funny WARNING:Not for little kids under 10 years old!
    😐😑😕😠😬😡😢😣😤😦😧😥😨😷😝😶😝😷😝😗😜😛😳😲😜😋😙😚😶🙈🙉🙊💩🙀😾👮👎🐺🐃🐂🐒🐵🚧🚦🚥🚀⚠

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Foxymoron eastern, nc 12-24-15
    Foxymoron eastern, nc 12-24-15
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    "Reminds me of my ex husband"

    I believe the story was loosely based on actual incident that my ex husband has done. I am the ex wife that handed him divorce papers as I bailed him out. Bobcat did an excellent job narrating this incident and its full glorious splendor. A great bedtime story for children that can serve as a warning for what may happen. So never snitch on your Pops kids.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Justin houser 12-16-15 Member Since 2014
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    "lol"

    A little short but what do you expect for about a buck.

    Still I thought it was funny.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Brian 11-03-15
    Brian 11-03-15
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    "Not The Best"

    I thought Bobcat Goldthwait did a good job with not the best of story. I'm very familiar with the kid's cookie books, and I see what the author was trying to do, but it just didn't come off very good. If it wasn't for Bobcat's narration it would have been horrible.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer 09-19-15
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    "terrible story. I like the go to f to sleep series"

    this was simply terrible. not the same as the go the f to sleep series

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    BobbieJo 06-05-15
    BobbieJo 06-05-15
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    "WTF"

    Absolutely the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Still not even sure what the point of this story was suppose to be. I know the author was attempting comedy but he failed horribly. Wanted to give it zero stars but made me give at least 1!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    AnnieM 05-15-15
    AnnieM 05-15-15
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    "Totally worth it"

    The perfect narrator for a hilarious book for parents. Sure to be in my Rotation permanently. Bob Golthwait is PEFECT for the story.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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