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If Life Is A Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing In The Pits?
- Narrated by: Barbara Rosenblat
- Length: 3 hrs and 41 mins
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If Life Is A Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing In The Pits?
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Publisher's summary
As Erma shares her worries about the American way of life, she'll have you chuckling right out loud. You'll view cherished traditions such as the joys of motherhood, TV game shows, family togetherness, and the overworked phrase "Have a good day!" in a completely different light. So get ready to trade your stale outlook for a hilarious new one.
Whether America's first lady of humor is poking fun at family life or taking a poignant look at the difficulties of aging, you'll laugh until the tears stream down your face. And with Barbara Rosenblat's rib-tickling performance, you'll feel as if you are sharing a cup of coffee with Erma herself.
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If I am Missing or Dead
- A Sister's Story of Love, Murder, and Liberation
- By: Janine Latus
- Narrated by: Shelly Frasier
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 202
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 99
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 98
In April 2002, Janine Latus' youngest sister, Amy, wrote a note and taped it to the inside of her desk drawer. "Today Ron Ball and I are romantically involved", it read, "but I fear I have placed myself at risk in a variety of ways. Based on his criminal past, writing this out just seems like the smart thing to do. If I am missing or dead this obviously has not protected me...."
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4 out of 5 stars
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All About Janine
- By Ellen on 07-02-07
By: Janine Latus
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My Planet
- Finding Humor in the Oddest Places
- By: Mary Roach
- Narrated by: Angela Dawe
- Length: 4 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 571
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Performance3.5 out of 5 stars 525
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Story4 out of 5 stars 520
Follow New York Times best-selling author Mary Roach - but be careful not to trip - as she weaves through personal anecdotes and everyday musings riddled with her uncanny wit and amazingly analytical eye. These essays, which found a well-deserved home within the pages of Reader's Digest as the column "My Planet," detail the inner workings of hypochondriacs, hoarders, and compulsive cheapskates. (Did we mention neurotic interior designers and professional list makers?) For Roach, humor is hidden in the most unlikely places, which means that nothing is off limits.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Narrator drove me crazy
- By Ann on 04-23-14
By: Mary Roach
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May We Be Forgiven
- By: A. M. Homes
- Narrated by: Andy Paris
- Length: 20 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 161
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 140
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Story4 out of 5 stars 139
May We Be Forgiven, a darkly comic novel of 21st-century domestic life, stars Harold Silver, a historian who's always been jealous of his successful brother, George. But when the hot-tempered George is institutionalized for committing a violent act, Harold finds himself comforting his brother's wife and children. What follows is a scathing examination of a family so fractured it may never be whole again.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Give this one a try!
- By JWB on 02-13-13
By: A. M. Homes
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The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club
- True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life
- By: Laurie Notaro
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 5 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 66
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 59
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Story4 out of 5 stars 59
Introducing Laurie Notaro, the leader of the Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club. Every day she fearlessly rises from bed to defeat the evil machinations of dolts, dimwits, and creepy boyfriends - and that's before she even puts on a bra. For the past 10 years, Notaro has been entertaining Phoenix newspaper readers with her wildly amusing autobiographical exploits and unique life experiences.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Sweet and funny
- By Julia Valentin on 12-19-20
By: Laurie Notaro
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Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules (Unabridged Selections)
- By: Edited by David Sedaris
- Narrated by: David Sedaris, Mary-Louise Parker, Cherry Jones
- Length: 2 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 357
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 215
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Story4 out of 5 stars 216
Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules is a collection of short stories, some classic, others impending, selected and introduced by David Sedaris.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Great stories but only 5 of 17 are included
- By Terri Kirk on 07-13-12
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She Got Up Off the Couch
- By: Haven Kimmel
- Narrated by: Haven Kimmel
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 273
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 186
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 187
When we last saw Zippy, she was oblivious to the storm that was brewing in her home. Her mother, Delonda, had literally just gotten up off the couch and ridden her rickety bicycle down the road. Her dad was off somewhere, gambling or "working." And Zippy was lost in her own fabulous world of exploring the fringes of Moorland, Indiana.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Great fun !!
- By Kim on 04-20-11
By: Haven Kimmel
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All but Normal
- Life on Victory Road: A Memoir
- By: Shawn Thornton
- Narrated by: Shawn Thornton
- Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 48
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 43
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 44
After waking from a coma following a car crash, Beverly Thornton's once sweet and gentle disposition had been replaced by violent mood swings, profanity-laced tirades, and uncontrollable fits of rage. Inside the Thornton house, floors and countertops were piled high with dirty laundry and garbage because Bev was unable to move well enough to clean. Dinners were a Russian roulette of half-cooked meat, spoiled milk, and foods well past their expiration dates.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Should be in the religous category
- By Shreridan on 10-24-16
By: Shawn Thornton
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Like Family
- Growing Up in Other People's Houses, a Memoir
- By: Paula McLain
- Narrated by: Wendy Tremont King
- Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 77
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 70
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 71
This powerful and haunting memoir details the years Paula McLain and her two sisters spent as foster children after being abandoned by both parents in California in the early 1970s. As wards of the State, the sisters spent the next 14 years moving from foster home to foster home. The dislocations, confusions, and odd pleasures of an unrooted life form the basis of one of the most compelling memoirs in recent years - a book in the tradition of Jo Ann Beard's The Boys of My Youth and Mary Karr's The Liars' Club.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A famous writer describes her life growing up in foster care
- By Nancy C. on 12-21-18
By: Paula McLain
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Why I Hate Green Beans
- And Other Confessions About Relationships, Reality TV, and How We See Ourselves
- By: Lincee Ray
- Narrated by: Lincee Ray
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 61
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 53
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 53
If there is one thing Lincee Ray has learned over the years, it's that the majority of women on the planet struggle with insecurities. Our skinny jeans mock us. Our just-trying-to-help mothers are just driving us crazy. Our social media feeds taunt us with everyone else's picture-perfect lives. It's enough to send you on a gummy-bear bender while binge-watching Friends reruns and not showering for a week. Lincee knows. She's been there. Right there, in fact. Gummy bears and all.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Perfect in every way!
- By Anonymous User on 10-19-22
By: Lincee Ray
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Don't Lick the Minivan
- And Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids
- By: Leanne Shirtliffe
- Narrated by: Trudie Kessler
- Length: 7 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 217
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 196
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 191
As a woman used to traveling and living the high life in Bangkok, Leanne Shirtliffe recognized the constant fodder for humor while pregnant with twins in Asia's sin city. But in spite of deep-fried bug cuisine and nurses who cover newborn bassinets with plastic wrap, Shirtliffe manages to keep her babies alive for a year with help from a Coca-Cola deliveryman, several waitresses, and a bra factory. Then she and her husband return home to the isolation of North American suburbia.
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1 out of 5 stars
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I Guess You Had to Be There?
- By Sara on 09-08-14
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Too Close to the Falls
- A Memoir
- By: Catherine Gildiner
- Narrated by: Allyson Johnson
- Length: 11 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 129
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 112
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 115
Welcome to the childhood of Catherine McClure Gildiner. It is the middle of the 1950s in Lewiston, New York, a small and sleepy American town very near Niagara Falls. No one is divorced. Mothers wear high heels to the beauty salon and children pop Pez candy and swing from vines over a local gorge. But at the tender age of four, it becomes clear to her Cathy's parents that their rambunctious daughter is no ordinary child and they soon put her "to work" at her father's pharmacy.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Brilliant and funny and touching.
- By Kindle Customer on 11-07-19
-
Bettyville
- By: George Hodgman
- Narrated by: Jeff Woodman
- Length: 10 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 368
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 329
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 329
When George Hodgman leaves Manhattan for his hometown of Paris, Missouri, he finds himself - an unlikely caretaker and near-lethal cook - in a head-on collision with his aging mother, Betty, a woman of wit and will. Will George lure her into assisted living? When hell freezes over. He can't bring himself to force her from the home both treasure - the place where his father's voice lingers, the scene of shared jokes, skirmishes, and, behind the dusty antiques, a rarely acknowledged conflict...
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1 out of 5 stars
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Title Should Be Georgeville-It's All About George
- By Sara on 10-08-15
By: George Hodgman
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What Doesn't Kill You
- By: Virginia DeBerry, Donna Grant
- Narrated by: Virginia DeBerry, Donna Grant
- Length: 10 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 108
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 87
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 86
What Doesn't Kill You is the story of how Thomasina Hodges, a.k.a. Tee, loses her job and finds herself. Tee's evolution after her sudden and unexpected outplacement, is loosely based on the stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, relinquishing, readjusting, and reinvesting. For Tee, losing her job is like a death, but with time, and some bumps, bruises and a new attitude, she comes out on the other side, having reassessed what's important in her life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Excellent story
- By Doris Greene on 04-11-24
By: Virginia DeBerry, and others
-
There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say
- By: Paula Poundstone
- Narrated by: Paula Poundstone
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 574
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 359
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 354
What do the lives of Lincoln, Helen Keller, Joan of Arc, and other historical figures have in common with Paula Poundstone? In the hands of this wryly observant and self-deprecating comedian, the answer is outrageously funny and unexpectedly touching. Poundstone compares her crazy life to theirs, as she holds forth on her children, her career, and the time in her life when it appeared she would lose them both.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
More!
- By Evelyn on 02-11-07
By: Paula Poundstone
-
Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 360
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 322
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 319
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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2 out of 5 stars
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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In The Grass Is Always Greener over the Septic Tank, Bombeck rides the train to the suburbs. In lands like the Suburbian Gems subdivision, settlers from the city brave endless cul-de-sacs and overly helpful insurance salesmen. Picture windows bring new meaning to the term "neighborly". A poorly timed trip to the restroom results in a promotion to Girl Scout Cookie Captain.
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If you're young, old, or in the middle, get ready to laugh out loud with Erma Bombeck, America's funniest lady. This outrageously witty book proves that humor is the best way to keep on keel - even with a teenager in the house. You've finally figured out what makes your child tick, when one day you wake up to discover a teenager under your roof. Suddenly life is filled with a whole new set of worries.
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- Length: 5 hrs and 5 mins
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“I now pronounce you husband and wife.” There are few phrases as sobering, with the possible exceptions of “We have lift-off” and “This country is at war.” Yet, as they have done for centuries, millions of courageous men and women continue to walk down the aisle every year, without so much as a job description. Now, in her most autobiographical book, Erma Bombeck puts it all in loving and laughing perspective, as she looks back on her own forty-three-year-but-who’s-counting marriage.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Nostalgic
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How I Learned I'm Old
- By: Romney Humphrey
- Narrated by: Romney Humphrey
- Length: 3 hrs and 54 mins
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 20
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 17
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Story4 out of 5 stars 17
How I Learned I'm Old is a collection of humorous essays embedded with a smattering of serious insights. Together, they tell the tale of what happens when middle age mysteriously departs and old age claims its territory. Baby Boomer women are devouring the book and its subjects, finally finding a venue to laugh about their new reality.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Funny and Uplifting
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Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old
- A Highly Judgmental, Unapologetically Honest Accounting of All the Things Our Elders Are Doing Wrong
- By: Steven Petrow
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- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 124
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 106
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Story4 out of 5 stars 105
Soon after his 50th birthday, Steven Petrow began assembling a list of "things I won't do when I get old" - mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then 70-something-year-old parents were doing wrong. That list became the basis of this rousing collection of dos and don'ts, wills and won'ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Maud is an irascible 88-year-old Swedish woman with no family, no friends, and...no qualms about a little murder. Ever since her darling father's untimely death when she was only 18, Maud has lived in the family's spacious apartment in downtown Gothenburg rent-free, thanks to a minor clause in a hastily negotiated contract. That was how Maud learned that good things can come from tragedy. Now in her late 80s, Maud contents herself with traveling the world and surfing the net from the comfort of her father's ancient armchair. It's a solitary existence, and she likes it that way.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Cruelty is NOT comedy
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In The Grass Is Always Greener over the Septic Tank, Bombeck rides the train to the suburbs. In lands like the Suburbian Gems subdivision, settlers from the city brave endless cul-de-sacs and overly helpful insurance salesmen. Picture windows bring new meaning to the term "neighborly". A poorly timed trip to the restroom results in a promotion to Girl Scout Cookie Captain.
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“I now pronounce you husband and wife.” There are few phrases as sobering, with the possible exceptions of “We have lift-off” and “This country is at war.” Yet, as they have done for centuries, millions of courageous men and women continue to walk down the aisle every year, without so much as a job description. Now, in her most autobiographical book, Erma Bombeck puts it all in loving and laughing perspective, as she looks back on her own forty-three-year-but-who’s-counting marriage.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Nostalgic
- By Amazon Customer on 09-08-11
By: Erma Bombeck
-
How I Learned I'm Old
- By: Romney Humphrey
- Narrated by: Romney Humphrey
- Length: 3 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 20
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 17
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Story4 out of 5 stars 17
How I Learned I'm Old is a collection of humorous essays embedded with a smattering of serious insights. Together, they tell the tale of what happens when middle age mysteriously departs and old age claims its territory. Baby Boomer women are devouring the book and its subjects, finally finding a venue to laugh about their new reality.
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5 out of 5 stars
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- By: Steven Petrow
- Narrated by: Michael Butler Murray
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 124
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 106
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Soon after his 50th birthday, Steven Petrow began assembling a list of "things I won't do when I get old" - mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then 70-something-year-old parents were doing wrong. That list became the basis of this rousing collection of dos and don'ts, wills and won'ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Poinient but Depressing
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An Elderly Lady Is Up to No Good
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- Narrated by: Suzanne Toren
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 427
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 366
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Story4 out of 5 stars 365
Maud is an irascible 88-year-old Swedish woman with no family, no friends, and...no qualms about a little murder. Ever since her darling father's untimely death when she was only 18, Maud has lived in the family's spacious apartment in downtown Gothenburg rent-free, thanks to a minor clause in a hastily negotiated contract. That was how Maud learned that good things can come from tragedy. Now in her late 80s, Maud contents herself with traveling the world and surfing the net from the comfort of her father's ancient armchair. It's a solitary existence, and she likes it that way.
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2 out of 5 stars
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What listeners say about If Life Is A Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing In The Pits?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- KarenAnn
- 10-27-23
Amazing reread
Good light reading!! Irma bomb back to always brings back an awesome tail! Great, till they relive memories in another chapter of my life
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Sharlene
- 11-07-11
Gone too soon
Erma Bombeck's books were a staple when I was growing up I used to read her columns every tim they came out. And I laughed at them......knowing I was not the only kid doing that stuff. LOL. She also puts in a few life lessons for all of us.....but doesn't beat us over the head with them.
Love you Erma, miss you......
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- ...
- 01-09-23
Absolutely loved it!
Barbara reads it like a champ and Erma wrote it like, well, I’m speechless. I hope her family is thriving.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Jennifer L. Conover
- 12-27-22
Better than the other one
More positive this time not as much negative information, more soul-searching, and genuinely funny and humorous stuff.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Yasmine Buraik
- 08-05-23
Funniest book ever
I read this on German when I was 17. I found it funny and still do. It highlighted for me at the time the misegenistic life of women .
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Carol A. Strickland
- 04-25-16
Isn't that outdated. It's still funny stuff
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
If they wanted to be amused, and especially if they were a parent, they'll like this.
Have you listened to any of Barbara Rosenblat’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
No, I haven't. She astounded me with her delivery. She could turn even a dull sentence into something witty, so this material was really quite funny with her at the microphone.
Any additional comments?
Bombeck's humor still holds up, though not quite as sharply as it did when it was originally written. You'll still get many chuckles out of this.
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3 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- CG
- 11-08-20
Erma's the best!
her books are just laugh out loud funny. I enjoy every book I can find by her, what a humorist . I highly recommend any of her books.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- M Hester
- 08-31-23
Remember when
I laughed a little looking back at when I read the booking the '70s ahhh
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Teresa
- 10-20-12
Makes you see the funny side of life.
If you could sum up If Life Is A Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing In The Pits? in three words, what would they be?
A great listen for a pick me up. Makes you laugh. Reminds me of my life.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Pamela
- 06-07-15
I laughed out loud
I enjoy Bombeck's humorous look at everyday life. I laughed, wearing my earbuds while my husband watched a car race. While technologies change, interactions between parent and child, husband and wife are timeless. Loved the bit about the organizer purse -- I received one as a gift.
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