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How to Fail: The Self-Hurt Guide
- Narrated by: Kevin Killavey
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
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How to Fail: The Self-Hurt Guide
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Publisher's summary
How to Fail is the world's FIRST Self-Hurt Guide, the polar opposite of a self-help guide. In How to Fail, follow the misadventures, misgivings, and massive mistakes of this satiric novel's narrator, Stu Fish, as he tries to find success in 2010 New York. With hilarious chapters such as "How to Fail to Make Your Parents Proud of You," "How to Fail to Do Something Productive All Day," "How to Fail in Love," and "How to Fail All the Way to Rock Bottom," and even more ribald "footchapters" such as "How to Masturbate at Work," "How to Develop an Addiction," "How to Get Usurped by Your Girlfriend's Ex," and "How to Acquire the STD That's Right for You," there's not an aspect of life that How to Fail doesn't tackle and offer a terrific non-solution for. All of this is delivered in perfect single serving-size chapters for our modern A.D.D. culture more used to reading blog entries on their phones while riding the subway or waiting in line at Subway than in carefully reading a book.
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Story4 out of 5 stars 309
In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care about Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love - and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage. I Don't Care about Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Shopping for Men at the Wrong Mall
- By Pamela Harvey on 01-02-13
By: Julie Klausner
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Digging Up Mother
- A Love Story
- By: Johnny Depp - foreword, Doug Stanhope
- Narrated by: Doug Stanhope and Friends
- Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,970
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,645
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,638
Doug Stanhope is one of the most critically acclaimed and stridently unrepentant comedians of his generation. What will surprise some is that he owes so much of his dark and sometimes uncomfortably honest sense of humor to his mother, Bonnie.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Not my thing.
- By J. Harral on 01-27-18
By: Johnny Depp - foreword, and others
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Domestic Violets
- A Novel
- By: Matthew Norman
- Narrated by: Todd McLaren
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 221
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 195
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 192
Tom Violet always thought that by the time he turned 35, he’d have everything going for him. Fame. Fortune. A beautiful wife. A satisfying career as a successful novelist. A happy dog to greet him at the end of the day. The reality, though, is far different. He’s got a wife, but their problems are bigger than he can even imagine. And he’s written a novel, but the manuscript he’s slaved over for years is currently hidden in his desk drawer while his father, an actual famous writer, just won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. His career, such that it is, involves mind-numbing corporate buzzwords....
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5 out of 5 stars
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What a rollicking ride!
- By Pamela Harvey on 08-13-11
By: Matthew Norman
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30 Before 30
- How I Made a Mess of 20s, and You Can Too
- By: Marina Shifrin
- Narrated by: Marina Shifrin
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 36
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 32
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 33
Something was nagging Marina Shifrin. As a freshly minted adult with student loan payments and a “real” job she hated that paid her enough to get by if she also worked two other jobs, something needed to change. Marina and her friend each made lists of 30 things they’d do before the age of 30. The first thing on Marina’s list was, “Quit My Shitty Job”. So she did, and just like that the List powered her through her twenties. Told with humor and heart, 30 Before 30 will entertain, motivate, and challenge listeners to get out of their comfort zones and live their best lives.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Inspiring read
- By Chris Gledhill on 12-18-18
By: Marina Shifrin
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I Like You Just the Way I Am
- Stories About Me and Some Other People
- By: Jenny Mollen
- Narrated by: Jenny Mollen
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 833
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 743
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 735
Jenny Mollen is an actress and writer living in Los Angeles. She is also a wife, married to a famous guy (which is annoying only because he gets free shit and she doesn't). She doesn't want much from life. Just to be loved - by everybody: her parents, her dogs, her ex-boyfriends, her ex-boyfriends' dogs, her husband, her husband's ex-girlfriends, her husband's ex-girlfriend's new boyfriends, etc.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Hmm...Why am I listening to a bio of Jenny Mollen?
- By Elisabeth W. on 09-16-15
By: Jenny Mollen
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Bitter Is the New Black
- Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jamie Heinlein
- Length: 10 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 630
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 432
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Story4 out of 5 stars 437
Jen Lancaster was living the sweet life-until real life kicked her to the curb. She had the perfect man, the perfect job-hell, she had the perfect life - and there was no reason to think it wouldn't last. Or maybe there was, but Jen Lancaster was too busy being manicured, pedicured, highlighted, and generally adored to notice.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Intolerable
- By Betty on 09-12-09
By: Jen Lancaster
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 44
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 41
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Story4 out of 5 stars 40
Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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Single State of Mind
- By: Andi Dorfman
- Narrated by: Andi Dorfman
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 653
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 575
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 573
Andi Dorfman, breakout star of ABC's The Bachelorette and New York Times best-selling author of It's Not Okay, returns with this new collection of her adventures as a still-single gal surviving and thriving in New York City.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Shallow
- By c63989 on 01-10-18
By: Andi Dorfman
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Dirty Thirty
- By: Asa Akira
- Narrated by: Veronica Worthington
- Length: 5 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 155
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 141
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Story4 out of 5 stars 139
As she contemplates turning 30 years old while still being in the adult film trade, Asa Akira, author of the best-seller Insatiable, delves into her past, present, and future, exploring the events that brought her to where she is now and the surprising and insightful plans she has for her future. Internationally known as a porn star, Akira's perceptive, funny, and straightforward writings on love, sex, death, marriage, and celebrity come together in a surprising book of essays.
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5 out of 5 stars
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this was fun I'm going to buy her other book 2
- By Sir Lawrence on 01-09-19
By: Asa Akira
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Hardly Knew Her
- By: Laura Lippman
- Narrated by: Linda Emond, Francois Battiste
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 110
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 65
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Story4 out of 5 stars 66
Each of these ingenious tales is a gem, sometimes poignant, sometimes humorous, always filled with delightfully unanticipated twists and reversals. For people who have yet to listen to Lippman, get ready to experience the spellbinding power of "one of today's most pleasing storytellers" ( San Diego Union-Tribune). As for longtime devotees of her multiple award-winning novels, you'll discover that you hardly know her.
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4 out of 5 stars
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I Love Laura Lippman
- By Joy on 07-15-11
By: Laura Lippman
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 536
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 485
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Story4 out of 5 stars 486
"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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In Love with a Younger Man
- By: Cheryl Robinson
- Narrated by: Nikki Amsterdam
- Length: 11 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 71
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 61
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Story4 out of 5 stars 61
Olena Day’s first love died tragically, and her college boyfriend left her for nother woman. Now a successful, independent 43-year-old,she begins a passionate relationship with Matthew, a man 18 years her junior. Can a relationship finally end happily-ever-after for Olena—or will it be torn apart once again?
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2 out of 5 stars
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A Sequel Will Be Coming From This...
- By Leejorae on 03-15-10
By: Cheryl Robinson
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 360
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 322
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Story4 out of 5 stars 319
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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2 out of 5 stars
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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God-Shaped Hole
- A Novel
- By: Tiffanie DeBartolo
- Narrated by: Rachael Warren
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 130
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 122
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Story4 out of 5 stars 121
When Beatrice Trixie Jordan replies to a personal ad, she meets Jacob Grace, a charming, effervescent 30-something free-spirit writer passionately seeking life. He possesses his own turns of phrase and ways of thinking and feeling that dissonantly harmonize with Trixie's off-center vision. As they rollercoaster through the joys and furies of their wrenching romance, they try to come to terms with the hurt brought about by both of their distant fathers who, in different ways, forsook them.
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5 out of 5 stars
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To see a fortune teller or not to see one...
- By Renee on 08-08-18
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Dear Girls Above Me
- Inspired by a True Story
- By: Charles McDowell
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 78
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 75
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Story4 out of 5 stars 74
When Charlie McDowell began sharing his open letters to his noisy upstairs neighbors - two impossibly ditzy female roommates in their mid-twenties - on Twitter, his feed quickly went viral. His followers multiplied and he got the attention of everyone from celebrities to production studios to major media outlets such as Time and Glamour.
Now Dear Girls breaks out of the 140-character limit as Charlie imagines what would happen if he put the wisdom of the girls to the test.
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4 out of 5 stars
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An Enjoyable Listen
- By Elle W on 11-05-13
By: Charles McDowell
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My Inappropriate Life
- Some Material Not Suitable for Small Children, Nuns, or Mature Adults
- By: Heather McDonald
- Narrated by: Heather McDonald
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 333
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 293
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Story4 out of 5 stars 294
In her hilarious New York Times best seller You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again, Heather McDonald recounted her adventures as an unwilling virgin in Hollywood. Now happily married with three wonderful kids, she shows that life as a grown-up - even a pretend grown-up - has its challenges. Heather’s a working mom with parents who live next door, a sister who keeps asking for one of her still-fertile eggs, and friends who are up to more hijinks than even Heather can handle.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Irritating
- By TrishS on 04-23-13
By: Heather McDonald
What listeners say about How to Fail: The Self-Hurt Guide
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- katrina
- 02-22-14
Nowhere near as funny as the author thinks
This mildly amusing narrative seems like an extended version of a McSweeney's article. The narrator however really takes the biscuit. Just a sample of the words mispronounced in this book: hirsute, eponymous, wunderkind, denizens (and that was after I started taking notes). This was rather distracting, and the wit itself was as I said, rather a page's worth squeezed into an entire book.
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