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God Is Disappointed in You | [Mark Russell, Shannon Wheeler]

God Is Disappointed in You

God Is Disappointed in You is for people who would like to read the Bible...if it would just cut to the chase. Stripped of its arcane language and interminable passages, every book of the Bible is condensed down to its core message, in no more than a few pages each. Written by Mark Russell with cartoons by New Yorker cartoonist Shannon Wheeler, God Is Disappointed in You is a frequently hilarious, often shocking, but always accurate retelling of the Bible, including the parts selectively left out by Sunday School teachers.
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Publisher's Summary

God Is Disappointed in You is for people who would like to read the Bible...if it would just cut to the chase. Stripped of its arcane language and interminable passages, every book of the Bible is condensed down to its core message, in no more than a few pages each.

Written by Mark Russell with cartoons by New Yorker cartoonist Shannon Wheeler, God Is Disappointed in You is a frequently hilarious, often shocking, but always accurate retelling of the Bible, including the parts selectively left out by Sunday School teachers and church sermons.

Irreverent yet faithful, this book is a must-listen for anyone who wants to see past the fog of religious agendas and cultural debates to discover what the Bible really says.

Download the accompanying reference guide.

©2011 Mark Russell and Shannon Wheeler (P)2014 Audible Inc.

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.5 (511 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Stacy 07-29-14
    Stacy 07-29-14 Member Since 2015

    July is my month in the rotation; be gentle it's my first month doing this on my own

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "A New Bible"

    This is an highly inventive and enjoyable way to look at biblical literature. While humorous and irreverent it is also respectful and actually more informative than you would think. I'm recommending this one as both entertainment and a tutorial.

    15 of 16 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Allen Moody planet earth, solar system 01-24-15
    Allen Moody planet earth, solar system 01-24-15 Member Since 2015

    kanzaguy

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    "The Only Audio Book I Started Again Immediately"
    What made the experience of listening to God Is Disappointed in You the most enjoyable?

    Funny, intellectually stimulating, irreverence on steroids.


    What was one of the most memorable moments of God Is Disappointed in You?

    When Mary and Joseph realized they had forgotten Jesus back at the Temple.


    Have you listened to any of James Urbaniak’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

    I liked how he sounded very Jewish.


    If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?

    God is Disappointed in You


    Any additional comments?

    The only audio book where upon completion I immediately started again and I bought 10 copies for friends and family. I still read it daily.

    10 of 11 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Susie Santa Cruz, CA, United States 08-04-14
    Susie Santa Cruz, CA, United States 08-04-14 Member Since 2012

    I'm Audible's first Editor-at-Large, the host of In Bed with Susie Bright -- and a longtime author, editor, journo, and bookworm. I listen to audio when I'm cooking, playing cards, knitting, going to bed, waking up, driving, and putting other people's kids to bed! My favorite audiobooks, ever, are: "True Grit" and "The Dog of the South."

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    Story
    "Funny as Sin"

    The story of God's dysfunctional relationship with his chosen people.

    "Like most marriages, it was a non-sexual affair, but unlike most marriages, it was anything but snoozy and passionless. God's marriage to the Jews was a tempestuous, rancorous affair."

    The deadpan, impeccable comedic timing of James Urbaniac had me literally laughing out loud as I listened.

    After years of research and translation to pithy modern language,
    ​the authors point out that although so many people are saturated in Bible stories, few remember the absolute zaniness that goes on inside.

    ​If you love the Bible or you love a good Bible satire, it’s just as satisfying. ​

    15 of 17 people found this review helpful
  •  
    courtney 03-18-15
    courtney 03-18-15 Member Since 2014
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    "Very Fresh and Funny"

    This is an easy listen and incredibly enjoyable. Perhaps condensing so far steals a bit of nuance from the stories, but the essence is there and hilarious.

    8 of 9 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Pen Name 03-25-15
    Pen Name 03-25-15 Member Since 2015
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    "I have now read(heard) the Bible."

    Reading from The Beginning, pun intended, I was never able to make it much further than Genesis. Thanks to the authors, and a great performance from the narrator, I was able to finish the Bible in less than six hours. I will be revisiting this one. The trip was enjoyable since the fluff had been meticulously wrung out and replaced with equal parts sarcasm and accuracy. If a reading of the Bible doesn't contain the phrase "tip slip", it's just not worth my time.

    6 of 7 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Neuron Sweden 03-13-15
    Neuron Sweden 03-13-15 Member Since 2015

    Family father, neuroscientist, and non-fiction audiobook addict.

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Excellent way to read the bible without having to"

    I once began reading the bible. However, I only got a few chapters beyond genesis before the dull language and pages after pages of genealogy forced my attention away to other things that seemed more relevant, such a fly sitting on the wall. So, when I read the synopsis of “God is disappointed in you” I thought that this book was for me, and I was certainly right.

    In his introduction, Mark Russell, assures the reader that, yes, everything in “God is disappointed in you” is indeed in the bible. Russell says that he has merely excluded the excessively boring parts and rephrased conversations so that a modern reader can actually understand the dialogues. I am sure that many people (especially those who praise God) will object to Russell’s presentation, and I have not fact checked any substantial portion of the book, however, in those cases where I have compared God is disappointed in you with the bible (King James version), it gives an accurate account of the stories in the bible.

    Even though I knew that the bible was filled with a lot of crazy people doing even more crazy things, the extent of the madness still baffled me. To actually read the stories in the bible confirmed that the bible is certainly no masterpiece. The bible can be compared to the Grimm fairy tales, with all its cruelty and magical stories, only much more boring. Surely, this book cannot have been written by God(!?), and if so, God is a terrible writer, which may not be so strange given that he appears to be occupied with making weird rules and committing genocides left and right...

    13 of 16 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kendall Waterbury, VT, United States 10-12-14
    Kendall Waterbury, VT, United States 10-12-14 Member Since 2014

    Mad for Westies

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    "Hilarious!"
    What did you love best about God Is Disappointed in You?

    A hilarious retelling of the bible, updated for the 21rst century.


    What did you like best about this story?

    Perfect for those of us who have never read the bible, nor had any inclination to.


    6 of 7 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Nicolas Paul Dunbar 05-28-15
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    "Not disappointed in this book!"

    While I found this book to be highly irreverent I also found it to be highly funny! It is well written and equally well narrated. It covers books from both the old and New Testament and quite ably if I'm allowed to say so.

    I have a few quibbles with some of the stories and a bit of the language used to describe the overall themes of the books. As a minister I found a few inconsistencies with the biblical record in the storytelling but it is mostly accurate with only a few mistakes here and there. Since this is written as a satirical view of the Scriptures is not necessary for her to have an esoteric accuracy.

    I recommend this book to those Who are interested in the Bible and are able to laugh at themselves and the foibles of ancient believers as well as modern Christians.

    5 Stars

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kim Spokane, WA, United States 05-28-15
    Kim Spokane, WA, United States 05-28-15 Member Since 2009

    Addicted to audiobooks & podcasts. 5 Stars=I Loved It, 4 Stars=Enjoyed it Thoroughly, 3=Kinda Good, 2=Bad/Boring, 1=Complete Waste of Credit

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "I Would Go to This Church!"

    If sermons were written like this, churches would be filled to capacity on Sundays! This book reminds me of Lamb (by Christopher Moore) which is one of my all time favorites; I loved the way they condensed the books of the bible into hilarious little chunks that even a heathen like me can understand and appreciate. I can't say it gave me a lot of hope for humanity but my outlook was grim to start with so no harm done there. This should be required reading for non-believers just so they know what it is they are not believing in; I know it certainly educated and entertained me. The narration was perfection times 10 - a match made in heaven (pun totally intended). I give this one 5 stars for making me laugh and think at the same time without realizing it. I will be listening to it again the next time I need an attitude adjustment.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jeremy Shinjuku-ku, Japan 05-26-15
    Jeremy Shinjuku-ku, Japan 05-26-15 Member Since 2012

    Great guy

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Spectacular! Was about to turn it off as blasphemous but...."

    As I was just about to turn it off I remembered this guy's disclaimer.... He is only summarizing what is in the bible with his sense of humor...

    The Psalms... Omg!!! King David's Greatest Hits Infomercial had me dying!!!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
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  • Stan
    Auckland, New Zealand
    5/6/15
    Overall
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    Story
    "The bible in a nutshell"

    Mark Russell condenses the bible into short chapters for those who have better things to do than read the actual book. He claims he sought to treat the subject matter as neutrally as possible, but it doesn't take long to figure out what side he falls on. That said, he does it wonderfully and there were times I literally laughed out loud. The old testament gets treated as it deserves, as a series of bronze age shepherds trying to make sense of a world
    full of unexplained phenomena. The authour mellows out in the new testament, but then there wasn't as much crazy stuff that went on in that half. The afterword was very interesting as well.

    As for the narrator, James did a brilliant job. I prefer the author to read their own books, but that is not always possible. In this case, is wasn't necessary, he really gets the tone of the book and reads accordingly. A true pleasure to listen to.

    So glad I got this.

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • MICK
    4/16/15
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    "Funny, beyond words!!"
    Would you listen to God Is Disappointed in You again? Why?

    Yes, this should be on national curriculum


    What did you like best about this story?

    So funny and a real eye opener!


    What does James Urbaniak bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you had only read the book?

    Great narration


    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Jon Davies
    3/4/15
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    Performance
    Story
    "lighthearted but informative, a great listen."

    manages to breeze through a difficult topic with irreverence but a sincere desire to simply convey the ideas in a bloody inaccessible tome! well worth a listen. performer just a tad too american for my personal tastes, being a rather dry Brit, but otherwise superb.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Mark Doyle
    1/27/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Entertaining"

    This book is well written, delivered and informative. The colloquial language had made the content easier to enjoy and even understand.

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Timea
    12/14/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Incredible!"
    Would you consider the audio edition of God Is Disappointed in You to be better than the print version?

    The narrator made the book so much fun, and was fantastic in audio format.


    What did you like best about this story?

    Witty and charming, a nice approach to breaking down the bible in a fun fashion.


    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Amazon Customer
    7/3/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "A very good book"

    This doesn't attack the bible it simply lets the bible tell its own story, and show itself as flawed, inconsistent and FUNNY This reading had me laughing out loud so many times.
    It's also an excellent summary - for anyone wanting a relatively quick understanding of the main stories and characters you can't go far wrong.
    Stone pronunciation is a bit iffy but a good job still.
    Will put a smile on your face. And a few thoughts in your head.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Grace
    5/26/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Found Russell's writing very funny."

    Obviously the narrative can become dry in places (it is the Bible after all) but on a whole Russell manages to keep even the dullest passages entertaining and witty. An enjoyable listen!

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful

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