Calm the Chaos

A Failproof Road Map for Parenting Even the Most Challenging Kids

By: Dayna Abraham

Narrated by: Dayna Abraham

Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins

Publisher's summary

A simple, fail-proof road map for parents raising even the most challenging children from the founder of the life-changing Calm the Chaos methodology and the Lemon Lime Adventures blog.

Strong-willed, spirited, explosive, and highly sensitive are just a few of the most common labels for challenging kids. Whether your child has been diagnosed with a behavioral condition, labeled, or is just harder than other children you’ve met, you are in luck. Parenting expert, Dayna Abraham is here to help.

Calm the Chaos is a clearly organized, methodical approach to parenting. Dayna has created a road map to help parents find peace and meet their kids where they are at when conventional parenting tools have failed. There are five steps to calming the chaos—Getting to Safety, Restoring Trust and Energy, Finding Calm in the Moment, Getting Ahead of the Moment, and Defining Family Success. Each step employs a framework that is easy to remember, even when emotions run high: you ground yourself, you connect with your kid, you work with them to understand the catalyst and the issue at the heart, and then together you get curious about finding an empowered solution.

Backed by science and tested by hundreds of thousands of families, Calm the Chaos is a revolutionary road map complete with in-the-trenches stories, scripts, prompts, and worksheets that make it simple for parents to build a safe home and support healthy kids.

©2023 Dayna Abraham (P)2023 Simon & Schuster Audio

Great book that also covers neurodivergent parents and neurodivergent children

This book was written from a perspective that addressed neurodivergence of the child as well as the parent which will be helpful to parents in that situation.

Such a hopeful must read

The author, Dayna has a strong, soothing voice that is easily understood even at a slightly faster pace.
The sections are pretty short and easy to follow and understand (though some of the lists would be easier to see, not just hear through). I am looking forward to seeing all the printable that are mentioned too.


Where a lot of parenting advice focuses on how to "make" our kids behave, this shares how we can look at ourselves and our mindset to see our children and their behaviors differently. And when we see them differently we can respond to those "misbehavior" in a different way-a more empowering, problem solving, way for everyone involved.
When you've been stuck for so long, it shares how to move forward. With plans that start where you are. For me, that was in the middle of deep survival mode with no idea how to handle my sons meltdowns. One of the biggest pieces for me was the solid method to release frustrations and keep my calm in those big scary moments or in just the everyday little chaos. Once I started practicing (because let's face it, you have to actually practice out of the moment and implement things for them to get better) my anchor and using the tools to survive the storm, I found that our storms weren't so debilitating. Then we were able to move on to finding ways to actually solve those storms. Our home today is vastly different. And while we keep coming upon new storms, we have a map out of those storms. A plan that brings us closer as a family and teaches and skill builds that we all need for life.

This has also helped me tremendously with myself and in my other adult relationships and I would read it even if I didn't have children. I can keep calm and hold space for family when they call to vent. Understand that all behavior is communication when I'm dealing with difficult people and set my own plans to get through uncomfortable situations. And I am teaching my kids how to do the same for their own lives.
It has the power to change your life too. Seriously, apply this framework to yourself, make yourself the focus and see how it can change your life. I am currently using it for my own burnout to really understand myself and make the changes I need to move forward and it has helped way more than any of the hundreds of articles on burnout that I have read through.

I will keep using this framework for life. I have used it for school issues, meltdowns, burnout, sleep struggles, rough toddler times and disagreements with my spouse. It really can be applied to everything and gives you a way to keep moving that makes lasting changes.

Super useful, realistic and life-changing

I wish I had this book 10 years ago when my eldest first started struggling with behaviour. The concepts are all based in behavioral and brain science but are expressed in such a down-to-earth, practical way. I love how the steps are broken down into achievable pieces, and there are printables to download for visual reference. It's written with such insight and hope. This book should be handed out in maternity departments at every hospital in the world!

An absolute Have to Read!

If you struggle with tantrums, get this book! Life changing! Having Dayna reading it makes it way more interesting as well!

Best parenting book!

I just started listening to this book and it has been amazing. Hearing the author read it is even better. Dayna goes into easy simple steps that anybody can follow. This book is for anybody who is feeling lost as a parent or a person. We can all go from surviving to thriving.

Do yourself a huge favor and get this audiobook!

Calm the Chaos is a book that every human should read and/or listen to many times, whether or not you’re a parent, because it offers a revolutionary framework for how to interact with every person in your life, at every stage of life, regardless of whether that person is neurotypical or neurodivergent.

I’ve been a mom for almost 13 years, navigating the ups and downs of parenting 3 super kids, often on my own. Over the years, I’ve read so many parenting books and taken so many parenting classes. Some techniques made no sense to me and some made a lot of sense, but realistically, only on paper. I felt like a horrible mom, because all of those other books told me that I set the tone in my family, but none of those books told me how. I didn’t know how to be the perfect, Pinterest-ready mom that the world seems to think I needed to be. I was falling apart, completely stressed, overwhelmed and burned out and my relationship with my kids reflected it. Then a pandemic shut down the world and after months of complete chaos, we were disconnected, constantly yelling and fighting, and really didn’t like being around each other. At just the right moment as I was hitting my personal rock bottom, I was blessed to find Dayna Abraham and the Calm the Chaos Framework.

The YouCUE framework completely change my life, my parenting process, and how my family relates to each other. For the first time, I had the epiphany that I am a really good mom and it’s okay to not be perfect. With each step, I no longer deal with hours long meltdowns because now I understand that ‘all behavior is communication’. I’m not triggered by the chaos causers that happen in our family anymore, because I’ve learned to take care of myself, to ‘stop, breathe, and anchor’. I’ve learned to understand each of my super kids so I am able to meet them in their struggles, connect with them in the moment, and empower them to be solution finders.

If you’ve been wondering how to calm the chaos in your family, this is definitely the book for you. Dayna walks the reader through each step in the process so that you can tailor the framework to your family’s specific needs and struggles. The personal stories of Dayna’s journey and those of her students truly help you realize that you are not alone and that if they can calm the chaos so can you. You are not alone. You got this!