Ask For It

How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Really Want

By: Linda Babcock, Sara Laschever

Narrated by: Jennifer Van Dyck

In their groundbreaking book, Women Don’t Ask, Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever uncovered a startling fact: even women who negotiate brilliantly on behalf of others often falter when it comes to asking for themselves. Now they’ve developed the action plan that women all over the country requested—a guide to negotiation that starts before you get to the bargaining table.

Ask for It explains why it’s essential to ask (men do it all the time) and teaches you how to ask effectively, in ways that feel comfortable to you as a woman. Whether you currently avoid negotiating like the plague or consider yourself hard-charging and fearless, Babcock and Laschever’s compelling stories of real women will help you recognize how much more you deserve—whether it’s a raise, that overdue promotion, an exciting new assignment, or even extra help around the house. Their four-phase program, backed by years of research, will show you how to identify what you’re really worth, maximize your bargaining power, develop the best strategy for your situation, and manage the reactions and emotions that may arise—on both sides. Guided step-by-step, you’ll learn how to draw on the special strengths you bring to the negotiating table to reach agreements that benefit everyone involved.

This collaborative, problem-solving approach will propel you to new places both professionally and personally—and open doors you thought were closed. Because if you never hear no, you’re not asking enough.©2008 Linda Babcock; ©2008 Sara Laschever; (P)2008 Random House, Inc.

Critic reviews

“Nice girls don’t ask, but smart women do. Ask for It provides the tangible tools and tips you need to get your fair share of the raises, promotions, and perks you’ve earned—and deserve.”—Lois P. Frankel, Ph.D., author of Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office and Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich.

“Combining sophisticated strategy with down-to-earth action, Ask for It gives women a groundbreaking gift: the means to ask for what they’re worth. Women learn how to change their fear of negotiating into confidence that they’ll gain more if they ask for more—more pay, more status, more resources, more equitable treatment. Required reading for working women.”—Evelyn Murphy, President, The WAGE Project, Inc.; author of Getting Even: Why Women Don’t Get Paid Like Men and What To Do About It

"Filled with practical tips and real-life examples, Ask for It empowers women to ask for what they want and get it. A must-read for any woman looking to make a change at home or on the job." —Lindsay Hyde, President, Strong Women, Strong Girls, Inc.

“This upbeat, realistic, and inspiring book will help you create new possibilities in every part of your life—whether you’re just starting out or already mid-career. There’s even a “negotiation gym” for building your confidence and skills before you go for the gold. Give it to your mother, your daughter, your sister, your friends!” —Miriam Nelson, Ph.D., author of Strong Women Stay Young and Strong Women, Strong Bones

“The authors have devised a four-phase program of strategies and exercises to determine what you want, what you’re worth and how to increase your bargaining power…. This book is a practical and empowering resource, invaluable to anyone, male or female, looking to gain an advantage at the negotiation table.”—Publishers Weekly

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If you could sum up Ask for It in three words, what would they be?

I related to this book...it was exactly what I was looking for -- full of practical advice. Thanks.

Required Reading / Listening for All Women

“Ask For It” is the required reading / listening book for all women who have an interest in moving their own careers forward in a personally, financial, and professionally satisfying direction, and for all women with a vested interest in working towards closing the wage gap at both a gender and race level.

This book provides useful information about the negotiation process and strategies that are effective in both a professional and personal context. It also provides implementation steps for beginning and / or fine tuning and personalising effective negotiations. Best of all, it clarifies how to effectively make negotiation rejections work for the individual (thicker skin, ability to pivot, determine how far the envelope can be pushed) without feeling the sting of rejection and salvaging or course correcting a negotiation about to go wrong.

Most importantly, and frustratingly, it highlights why the “likeability factor” is a real thing and hurdle that women _must_ take into account _and_ factor into negotiations. The reality is that most men, and the majority of women, are not yet ready, willing, impartial and / or dispassionate enough, unbiased, and unable to have a woman appear “unpleasant and nurturing” to engage professionally (read: directly aka aggressively) like men.

Have shared this book on and will continue to do so until negotiating professionally is as normal for women as it is reported to be for men.

Highly recommend this book.

(And the narrator is excellent for the audio version.)

Ask for It: How Women Can Use Power of Negotiation

I am a career coach by profession and though I have taught salary and benefits negotiation to high level clientele for years, even I was blown away by the data presented on how little women use negotiation to their advantage. As an educated woman myself, I immediately saw ways that I could use the book's principles in my own life and, as suggested by the authors, began implementing the tools in everything from day-to-day small personal situations to salary negotations. I would highly recommend this book to every woman, regarless of age or professional level. It is a great gift for friends, sisters, mothers, colleagues, and would even be useful for men who want insight onto negotiation techniques.

Excellent and timely

I read this a while ago and I just purchased the audible version. I found the content excellent and the last chapter was especially helpful with my upcoming performance review.

Great book on negotiations

A must listen for women on negotiating. How women are perceived asking in a threatening way vs men. Somehow it’s expected of men to negotiate and women are seen as aggressive when asking for what they deserve. Several case studies prove a double standard exists and it impacts women more so than men.

Helpful research and advice

This book was helpful to give data about the differences between men and women negotiating. The stories and suggestions are helpful. Giving words to situations are invaluable.

Resonated for me

I really connected with the message in thi book and the authors seemed to back up their assertions with quality research. I liked the breadth of examples used - from couples negotiating for fair housework division to high flying execs brokering deals. I hope it helps many more women..

Great advice!

Well written & read! Must read/listen for all women wanting to better negotiate for salaries & benefits!

Inspiring

Very helpful book, highlighting the inequalities of negotiation and provided practical examples. Loved the book.

Great tips and tricks

Fantastic perspective on how to negotiate as a woman! Will be implementing many of these suggestions