You Better Not Cry

Stories for Christmas

By: Augusten Burroughs

Narrated by: Augusten Burroughs

Length: 5 hrs and 55 mins

Publisher's summary

You've eaten too much candy at Christmas...but have you ever eaten the face off a six-foot stuffed Santa? You've seen gingerbread houses...but have you ever made your own gingerbread tenement? You've woken up with a hangover...but have you ever woken up next to Kris Kringle himself?

Augusten Burroughs has, and in this caustically funny, nostalgic, poignant, and moving collection he recounts Christmases past and present - as only he could. With gimleteyed wit and illuminated prose, Augusten shows how the holidays bring out the worst in us and sometimes, just sometimes, the very, very best.

©2009 Island Road, LLC. (P)2009 Macmillan Audio.

Critic reviews

"Burroughs is a natural storyteller... as brilliantly witty, waspish and self-deprecating as ever." ( Daily Mail)

Fab book for soft-hearted smart asses.

He captures poignant Christmas moments of true love & beauty and the way they find their way to our hearts.

fantastic, as usual

I want to listen to sellevision, but it's the only book the author doesn't read himself. I love the authors voice.

Always a wild read

I have always loved his books. Took me a moment to enjoy how it was read.

Laugh-out-loud funny, tragic, awkward ❤️

So many people have been hating on Augusten’s reading pace, I thought the poor guy deserves a positive vote. YES, please realize the narration may not be for you. Listen to a sample. However, differing from many others who found it awful, I absolutely found that his cadence complimented the story and enhanced its humor. I listened to the book on multiple nights going to sleep as we approach Christmas; I loved it. I hope you’ll give Augusten’s stylistic choices a chance!

Merry and Bright

I love this author so I’m very much the target audience. This is crass and shocking and disturbing and funny and heartwarming all at once, in all the best ways.

For his fans...

I admit I laughed out loud many times in the car while listening to this book. If you are a fan of Augusten Burroughs (as I am), you will enjoy these stories (and you will be prepared for the total insanity that is his childhood.) The downfall is his narration. It seemed as though he was trying something new ,and I'm not sure it worked. Burroughs last book "A Wolf at the Table" was markedly different in style and voice than his previous books. He carries a bit of that into this book as well. His reading can feel stilted and disjointed. Long spaces where you don't expect them. It's much more enjoyable when he begins "telling the story" as opposed to picking the words out one by one as if he's not sure what he wants to say. All in all,though, this is a funny book and a nice addition to my library.

I don't know what to say here

To begin with, I adore anything Augusten writes. I have also thoroughly enjoyed his previous works with him telling the story as only he can. However....I have to say I'm confused over this last reading of his and have to wonder if he read so slowly to make the audible version longer. What else can it be? And this is why I have to give 3 stars vice 5. Augusten, if you read our reviews, please consider changing your style for your next book. Your work is too precious and unique to be messed up with the dead slow, often frozenly disjointed way you read this last one. On the other hand, the stories in this book were priceless, especially the one with George. Yes, I cried. I also cried with Shirley and the lost treasure of her singing. This book touched me. Thank you for sharing these memories with us. I look forward to the next book, so get to work :)

Super fun for the holidays.

Where does You Better Not Cry rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

Absolutely Augusten Burroughs. Often awkward, painful and then hilarious. I have been reading him for ten years and I love this one. Not as serious as Not as serious as

Funny, As Usual

The listeners who loathe Augusten's narration fail to realize that his delivery is part of what makes the stories so humorous. Only a narrator who's lived this life of dysfunction can tell it in a way the listener can truly appreciate and laugh at, especially because he's still here to tell the tales and has made a very good life for himself. Can't wait for his next book, and hope it's longer.

Why does he read this so damn slow!

Such a funny book but this audio version sucks. He reads it slow like he’s reading to a child and the humor does not come through at all.