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Too Fat to Fish | [Artie Lange]

Too Fat to Fish

A natural storyteller with a bottomless pit of material, Lange grew up in a close-knit, working-class Italian family in Union, New Jersey, as a maniacal Yankees fan who pursued the two things his father said he was cut out for: sports and comedy. Wild, shocking, and drop-dead hilarious, Too Fat to Fish is Artie Lange giving everything he's got to give. And like a true pro, the man never disappoints.
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Publisher's Summary

When Artie Lange joined the permanent cast of The Howard Stern Show in 2001, it was possibly the greatest thing ever to happen in the Stern universe, second only to the show's move to the wild, uncensored frontier of satellite radio. Lange provided what Stern had yet to find all in the same place: a wit quick enough to keep pace with his own, a pathetic self-image to dwarf his own, a personal history both heartbreaking and hilarious, and an ingrained sense of self-sabotage that continually keeps things interesting.

A natural storyteller with a bottomless pit of material, Lange grew up in a close-knit, working-class Italian family in Union, New Jersey, as a maniacal Yankees fan who pursued the two things his father said he was cut out for: sports and comedy. Tragically, Artie Lange Sr. never saw the truth in that prediction. He became a quadriplegic in an accident when Artie was 18 and died soon after. But as with every trial in his life, from his drug addiction to his obesity, to his fights with his mother, Artie mines the humor, pathos, and humanity in these events and turns them into comedy classics.

True fans of the Stern Show will find Artie gold in these pages: hilarious tales that couldn't have happened to anyone else. There are stories from his days driving a Jersey cab, working as a longshoreman in Port Newark, and navigating the dark circuit of stand-up comedy. There are outrageous episodes from the frenzied heights of his coked-up days at MADtv, surprisingly moving stories from his childhood, and an account of his recent U.S.O. tour that is equally stirring and irreverent. But also in this volume are stories Artie's never told before, including some that he deemed too revealing for radio.

Wild, shocking, and drop-dead hilarious, Too Fat to Fish is Artie Lange giving everything he's got to give. And like a true pro, the man never disappoints.

©2008 Artie Lang; (P)2008 Random House

What the Critics Say

"A very funny man." (David Letterman)
"A comedy treasure....One of the funniest guys there is....The pride of New Jersey." (Jimmy Kimmel)

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What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.1 (427 )
5 star
 (201)
4 star
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3 star
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2 star
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1 star
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Overall
4.1 (188 )
5 star
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1 star
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Story
3.8 (186 )
5 star
 (76)
4 star
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3 star
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2 star
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1 star
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Performance
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  •  
    Brian Golden, CO, USA 02-15-09
    Brian Golden, CO, USA 02-15-09 Member Since 2008
    HELPFUL VOTES
    12
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    66
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    "read the book - narrators ruin this comedy"

    Artie is so funny and I'm a big fan. This audio book starts off strong but Artie leaves in the middle of the recording to enter rehab. He asks his illiterate friends to read the remaining chapters and it ruins the experience so much so that I wish I would have read the book instead of listened.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jason Easton, PA, USA 02-11-09
    Jason Easton, PA, USA 02-11-09
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    1
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    "A must for any Stern Fan"

    A real (scary) look into Artie's life and how he became who he is today. The book is extremely funny; even the Rev. Bob makes a guest reading and the words were pronounced almost accurately.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Tammy Norfolk, NE, USA 01-31-09
    Tammy Norfolk, NE, USA 01-31-09
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
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    1
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    "Expecting more"

    I expected more from such a funny man. The book was about his life which was not that exciting/funny. Did not find myself laughing much.

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Robert baltimore, MD, USA 01-31-09
    Robert baltimore, MD, USA 01-31-09
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    1
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    "Exellent for Stern fans and non-Stern fans alike."

    Delve into this book to find out the most disturbing details and loveable insights about your favorite Stern Show Mess, Artie Lange. He will make you think long and hard about your own life and the lives of those around you through his colorful anecdotes. Artie, Gary and Jim do a great job; Bob is hard to listen to but it will make you chuckle a little.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Joseph Chino Hills, CA, USA 01-14-09
    Joseph Chino Hills, CA, USA 01-14-09
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
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    "Love the book, hate the guest readers."

    I can't tell you how good this book was to listen to, coming from Artie himself. It came from his heart as he read it as only Artie knew where to put emphasis where it was needed. The minute Gary takes over, the audio begins it's decent into the depths of the uninteresting. Despite this obvious warning not to continue listening, I ignored the signs and set a course to collide head on with Bob "hooked on phonics" Levy. Needless to say, I didn't want to lose my hunger for the rest of this book and I had to stop listening to it almost immediately after Gary ended his chapters. In order for me to stay hooked on this book, I had to actually go out and pick up a book. Something Bob Levy should have done when he was 5 years old instead waiting until he was 32.... Outside of that, Artie's story is horrifically enticing and so riveting to hear, that every page has you on the edge of your seat, waiting to hear for the next tragic event that takes place in Artie's life. His life mimics events of such legendary comics Sam Kinison, Leny Bruce and John Belushi all rolled into one. Through the up's and down's, through sober times and addicted times, Artie's story is sad and unique. I really sympathized with Artie and I applaud the strength he's found to make it this far in life. It was worth the money I paid just to hear Artie tell his story in the first 6 chapters. It really came from his soul. I still rate it a 4 outta 5 just because that's how good the first 6 chapters are! I doubt I or anyone else can say the same for the rest of the audio book. Let's face it, "Beetlejuice" could have done a much better job than Levy. By the way, I never made it to Jim Florentine so I have no idea how good or bad he was. If Artie ever finds it in his heart to go back and finish the audio version of his book, I'd buy it again just to hear him tell it in his own words. As a matter of fact, I'd pay double. Rest in Peace Artie Lange. Your Pop is damm proud of ya!

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jason maple, Ontario, Canada 11-20-08
    Jason maple, Ontario, Canada 11-20-08
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
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    "Great"

    Perfect mix of funny and sad. The audio book is a must buy.

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Frank ladue, MO, USA 11-14-08
    Frank ladue, MO, USA 11-14-08
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "we love arty!"

    the jersey devil strikes again. great book keep it up.

    2 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    G-Man Eugene, Orygun 11-07-09
    G-Man Eugene, Orygun 11-07-09
    HELPFUL VOTES
    193
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    40
    19
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    3
    Overall
    "Nothing about Creative Process.Vulgar"

    One thing missing here is anything about creating/writing comedy. The entertainment comes from the extremes Artie gets into with drug/alcohol abuse and the situations he gets into. Substance abuse is the main theme. He claims his movie 'Dirty Work' was funny-even though it went straight to video.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Matt Reno, NV, USA 03-07-09
    Matt Reno, NV, USA 03-07-09
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    1
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    "Good listen!"

    I was expecting to HATE this due to Artie's only reading half of the book. It took some time to adjust, but I enjoyed the second half almost as much as the first.(But, no doubt it would have been better if Artie read all of it. I can't blame him though, I was too lazy to read any of it!)

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    R. Conley Geneseo, IL 02-17-09
    R. Conley Geneseo, IL 02-17-09 Member Since 2007
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Save your credits"

    I am about through with this and haven't laughed once. Not shocking, not funny, and impossible to have any empathy for the man. I had not heard of him or seen any of his movies or comedy and I surely won't look for them now. I doubt I'll finish it. A waste of a credit.

    2 of 7 people found this review helpful

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