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Too Fat to Fish | [Artie Lange]

Too Fat to Fish

A natural storyteller with a bottomless pit of material, Lange grew up in a close-knit, working-class Italian family in Union, New Jersey, as a maniacal Yankees fan who pursued the two things his father said he was cut out for: sports and comedy. Wild, shocking, and drop-dead hilarious, Too Fat to Fish is Artie Lange giving everything he's got to give. And like a true pro, the man never disappoints.
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Publisher's Summary

When Artie Lange joined the permanent cast of The Howard Stern Show in 2001, it was possibly the greatest thing ever to happen in the Stern universe, second only to the show's move to the wild, uncensored frontier of satellite radio. Lange provided what Stern had yet to find all in the same place: a wit quick enough to keep pace with his own, a pathetic self-image to dwarf his own, a personal history both heartbreaking and hilarious, and an ingrained sense of self-sabotage that continually keeps things interesting.

A natural storyteller with a bottomless pit of material, Lange grew up in a close-knit, working-class Italian family in Union, New Jersey, as a maniacal Yankees fan who pursued the two things his father said he was cut out for: sports and comedy. Tragically, Artie Lange Sr. never saw the truth in that prediction. He became a quadriplegic in an accident when Artie was 18 and died soon after. But as with every trial in his life, from his drug addiction to his obesity, to his fights with his mother, Artie mines the humor, pathos, and humanity in these events and turns them into comedy classics.

True fans of the Stern Show will find Artie gold in these pages: hilarious tales that couldn't have happened to anyone else. There are stories from his days driving a Jersey cab, working as a longshoreman in Port Newark, and navigating the dark circuit of stand-up comedy. There are outrageous episodes from the frenzied heights of his coked-up days at MADtv, surprisingly moving stories from his childhood, and an account of his recent U.S.O. tour that is equally stirring and irreverent. But also in this volume are stories Artie's never told before, including some that he deemed too revealing for radio.

Wild, shocking, and drop-dead hilarious, Too Fat to Fish is Artie Lange giving everything he's got to give. And like a true pro, the man never disappoints.

©2008 Artie Lang; (P)2008 Random House

What the Critics Say

"A very funny man." (David Letterman)
"A comedy treasure....One of the funniest guys there is....The pride of New Jersey." (Jimmy Kimmel)

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What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.0 (355 )
5 star
 (159)
4 star
 (99)
3 star
 (64)
2 star
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1 star
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Overall
4.0 (126 )
5 star
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4 star
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3 star
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2 star
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1 star
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Story
3.8 (124 )
5 star
 (50)
4 star
 (25)
3 star
 (28)
2 star
 (13)
1 star
 (8)
Performance
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  •  
    John newark, DE, USA 03-18-09
    John newark, DE, USA 03-18-09
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "great book, horrid readers"

    sadly, i cannot give this audible book the same rating i would give the written book. the book itself is funny, sad and eye opening. when the audible version starts, Artie Lange begins as the voice of the book. However, other readers take over and bring this book to an end for me. Please redo the audible with one reader who can actualy read.

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kevin Newton, MA, USA 11-24-08
    Kevin Newton, MA, USA 11-24-08
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Funny - but no forward by Howard"

    Artie spoke a lot on the air about how touched he was by Howard's forward to his book. It would have been nice if the powers that be had included the forward in the audiobook - unfortunately, the forward is not included.

    Decent book - but I still would love to read Howard's words. Guess I'll have to pick up the dead tree edition.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    lisa San Francisco, CA, United States 07-25-12
    lisa San Francisco, CA, United States 07-25-12 Member Since 2010
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Fantastic Listen"
    Where does Too Fat to Fish rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    This absolutely ranks waaaaay at the top of the autobiographies I've listened too. Artie is so honest and has really lived life. He pulls no punches, doesn't sugar coat it and he is truthful about himself which most people aren't. This story is hilarious, sad, poignant... absolutely worth your time!


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Too Fat to Fish?

    My favorite story was about Artie and his Dad going to the world series. Absolutely made me cry and gives me goosebumps now remembering it.


    Would you listen to another book narrated by Artie Lange?

    Absolutely... and he should have read the entire thing!!!!


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    I DID listen to this all in one sitting.


    Any additional comments?

    I am not a howard stern fan- don't even listen to his show... so that is not why I got this book. Artie Lang is a talented man.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    J. Johnson Greenville, SC 02-16-09
    J. Johnson Greenville, SC 02-16-09 Member Since 2008
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    "Only for big Stern show fans"

    I bought this because of being a fan of the Howard Stern show and it was the only reason I was able to finish it. The book reads like Artie talks which to some might be a good thing but I didn't think so. Second, Artie quits reading the book himself not even halfway through and has other people do it for him. This wouldn't be so bad except he somehow thought it would be funny to have Bob Levy read part of the book when it's a known fact Bob can barely read.

    If you're a fan of the show I'd still recommend buying this, but if you're not then I'd pass on this one.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Richard Farmingdale, NY, USA 01-07-09
    Richard Farmingdale, NY, USA 01-07-09
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    "Too funny to not buy"

    If you are from the the Tri-State you will LOVE this book.If you are a fan of the Stern show, you will love this book. If you want to hear someone talk passionately about their life, then this is one of the most engrossing books you are ever likely to read. Listening to Artie speak frankly about his life, his demons, his love(s) and his losses will bring tears to your eyes. Tears of joy and tears of sadness are never far apart.

    This book only left me wanting for more.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    S M 11-18-08
    S M 11-18-08
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    "In all honesty"

    I'm a huge fan of Artie and the whole show and if you are too this book won't disappoint. I was actually surprised though that of all the talent that read, Bob Levy was one of the best while Artie himself sounded a bit flat and lacked the natural inflection and intonation I'm use to from hearing his stories told on the radio. It's a great book though, especially if you are a fan of the show.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Edward Memphis, TN, USA 11-17-08
    Edward Memphis, TN, USA 11-17-08
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    "Two Hands on the Wheel"

    If you, like me, tend to listen to your audiobooks on the road, beware. Keep two hands on the wheel. As you will need all the help you can get when hysteria takes over.

    A brilliant several hours is delivered by a talent too large to miss. Outburst laughter, heartfelt sadness, anger, and stark moments of self loathing bring this marvelous journey to life.

    As a long time AudibleListener, whose style is leave the writing to the professionals, I will not bore you with why the quintet of stars?

    All I pray is Artie finds time for more . . . and shelves any notion his contribution is all there is - for a shame it would be if this were his way of scripting the longest suicide note on record.

    Do yourself a favor, and make the download button your next key stroke. Fire!

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Tanuki San Los Angeles, CA USA 11-12-13
    Tanuki San Los Angeles, CA USA 11-12-13 Member Since 2012

    I work. I ski. I play. I write. I have a family. I garden. I coach. I volunteer. I sketch. I run. I read.

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    "Constant Train Wrecking"
    If you could sum up Too Fat to Fish in three words, what would they be?

    Constant. Train. Wreck.


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    Artie is my favorite character. It's an autobiography.


    What about Artie Lange’s performance did you like?

    I wish that he would have finished reading the entire book himself.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    his dad's death


    Any additional comments?

    I got through it pretty quickly. I needed some popular culture after listening to Einstein's biography.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Selena belleville, NJ, United States 09-09-13
    Selena belleville, NJ, United States 09-09-13 Member Since 2012
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    "LOL funny"
    Would you listen to Too Fat to Fish again? Why?

    Yes, each story gets better and better when you listen to it again.


    Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    The stories of his father can make anyone cry. The stories of his drug induced shenanigans can make you laugh til you cry.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Shawn DENISON, TEXAS, United States 12-11-12
    Shawn DENISON, TEXAS, United States 12-11-12
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    "Inlighting, sad, funny a must listen"
    Would you listen to Too Fat to Fish again? Why?

    Yes I woud. It shows how one man can have such demons and overcome them and turn around


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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