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The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family | [Dan Savage]

The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family

Dan Savage’s mother wants him to get married. His boyfriend, Terry, says “no thanks” because he doesn’t want to act like a straight person. Their six-year-old son, D.J., says his two dads aren’t “allowed” to get married but that he’d like to come to the reception and eat cake. Throw into the mix Dan’s straight siblings, whose varied choices form a microcosm of how Americans are approaching marriage these days, and you get a rollicking family memoir that will have everyone—gay or straight, right or left, single or married—howling with laughter.
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Publisher's Summary

In a time when much of the country sees red whenever the subject of gay marriage comes up, Dan Savage—outspoken author of the column Savage Love—makes it personal.

Dan Savage’s mother wants him to get married. His boyfriend, Terry, says “no thanks” because he doesn’t want to act like a straight person. Their six-year-old son, D.J., says his two dads aren’t “allowed” to get married but that he’d like to come to the reception and eat cake. Throw into the mix Dan’s straight siblings, whose varied choices form a microcosm of how Americans are approaching marriage these days, and you get a rollicking family memoir that will have everyone—gay or straight, right or left, single or married—howling with laughter and rethinking their notions of marriage and all it entails.

©2005 Dan Savage (P)2011 Blackstone Audio, Inc.

What the Critics Say

“The strongest argument here, which [Savage] brilliantly plays down, is that family means everything to these people: married, not married, blended, gay, straight, whatever.” (Washington Post)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.2 (253 )
5 star
 (123)
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4.3 (218 )
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4.1 (221 )
5 star
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2 star
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1 star
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Performance
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  •  
    Michelle Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada 09-21-11
    Michelle Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada 09-21-11
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Amusing, but missed Dan's voice"

    A very funny, honest accounting of a little slice of Dan Savage's life. I enjoyed it a lot, but missed Dan's characteristic voice. I know he's busy these days, but I would have liked to have him read this himself.

    10 of 12 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Carla Burnaby, British Columbia, Canada 10-24-12
    Carla Burnaby, British Columbia, Canada 10-24-12 Member Since 2010
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Entertaining, but not life changing"

    I like Dan Savage, so I enjoyed the book and found it entertaining. I could see that some might find it a bit preachy. My main gripe is that Dan didn't read the book himself. The narrator did a fine job, but didn't sound anything like Dan which was just strange to listen to.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Mark Austin 09-22-14
    Mark Austin 09-22-14
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    3
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    "GREAT BOOK - CURRENT, FUNNY"
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    I always enjoy Dan's books and this one is no exception. A completely different look at family life. It's funny, profane, serious, and thoughtful all at the same time.


    What was one of the most memorable moments of The Commitment?

    Double margaritas in Saugatuck, observations driving through the midwest, too many to number...


    What three words best describe Paul Michael Garcia’s voice?

    Clear, Formal, Rigid. This is the one thing I didn't like about the book. Mr. Garcia's voice and speech patterns are too formal for Dan's writing style. While his voice is clear and easily understood, it's sort of like your high school english teacher using four letter words...it just doesn't flow naturally given the material.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Briana Melissa Ford Carson, CA USA 04-08-14
    Briana Melissa Ford Carson, CA USA 04-08-14 Member Since 2012

    Book nerd for life!

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Hilarious and Thought Provoking"

    I bought this audiobook back in 2012 but just now listened to it. I had no idea what to expect, and I think it actually worked out better that way. Dan Savage wrote about his partner Terry, his son DJ, his loving family, and how marriage does and doesn't work for some couples. His commentary was hilarious, and his conversations with others (mainly his family members) about marriage made great points, for both, straight and same-sex couples. The narrator, Paul Michael Garcia, made the audiobook even more enjoyable. I'm glad I got it and glad I read it. Recommended for anyone who isn't too serious, as I can see some of Dan's writing rubbing the far right the wrong way (especially DJ's opinion of George W. Bush haha)

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Nikki 02-06-14
    Nikki 02-06-14 Member Since 2011
    HELPFUL VOTES
    4
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    "Like the book, hate the narrator"

    I liked the book. It was very interesting and fascinating information and back story (what happened to the toy poodle's other eye?). However, after reading his columns for years and listening to hundreds of his podcasts, the performance was lacking. It didn't go with the subject matter at hand. The narrator was far too formal for Dan's writing.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Adrienne ORLANDO, FL, United States 03-29-13
    Adrienne ORLANDO, FL, United States 03-29-13 Member Since 2012
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Eh"
    Is there anything you would change about this book?

    The narrator. I didn't like the tone of his voice. Maybe it was the content but the tone of his voice came off sarcastic minus the funny.


    Would you be willing to try another book from Dan Savage? Why or why not?

    Yes I would. I am a fan of Dan Savage and read his column in The Stranger when I lived in Seattle.


    How could the performance have been better?

    Dan Savage can be merciless yet funny. This narrator didn't convey that to me.


    If this book were a movie would you go see it?

    Nah. And if it were a movie I'd wait until it came out on TBS.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Rebecca Busselle 02-19-13
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    "Disappointing but useful"

    I am a Dan Savage fan, having read his sex advice column for many years. He offers good information that other writers wouldn't dare publish. And like his columns, this book contains a core of thoughtful history and insights on marriage, gay and straight. I learned from him. But, alas, Savage's personal history and relationship with his husband wasn't one to which I could relate -- a series of argumentative, unpleasant encounters, especially when the two of them were on the road with their son. Since the memoir leads up to the decision of whether to get a tattoo or get married, Savage convinced me that they should have the right to the legal and social benefits of marriage, but I couldn't help feeling that perhaps marriage wasn't best for this couple, a feeling cemented by his description of the ceremony.

    Perhaps my negativity was compounded by the reader, who read slowly and with overly clear diction. I found him unable to convey the narrative voice and humor of the book in the spoken voice.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    david Saint Louis, MO, United States 02-09-13
    david Saint Louis, MO, United States 02-09-13 Member Since 2012
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    "Heartwarming"

    I enjoyed listening to the snippets of Dan Savage and Terry Miller's perceptual evolution into the idea of marriage. I have considered some of the points mentioned by Dan and Terry and how they relate within the context of my own life. Which I believe is the mark of a good book and good author. Throw in the perfect narrator for the dialog at hand, and you have a mandala of the evolving family that Dan, Terry and D.J. are creating.

    I have listened to the book twice now, and had an even better experience the second time.

    Dan Savage is well known to me for his advice column, and his efforts to stop bullying. I often agree with what he has to say, and this book is just another example of his wit, grasp of social dynamics, solid emotional morality, and his willingness to drag poor Terry into the limelight! (You’re shameless on that one Dan!)

    This book left me with a stronger sense of family (no quotes needed there) and even helped me provide a framework for what exactly I'm trying to achieve with my own marriage.

    Absolutely wonderful book!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Science Teacher New Jersey 01-14-13
    Science Teacher New Jersey 01-14-13 Member Since 2011

    Tom

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    6
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    "Outdated"

    This book is outdated. Dan Savage and his "boyfriend" got married in Seattle last month on the day same-sex marriage became legal.

    By the way, this book has one of the worst first chapters I have ever read/listened to. It is so unpleasant to begin with an extended complaint about his "boyfriend's" faults.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kevin 12-24-12
    Kevin 12-24-12
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    "Great Story"
    What did you love best about The Commitment?

    Savage's personal story resonated with my own life story. He is a very funny and serious storyteller.


    What was one of the most memorable moments of The Commitment?

    His interactions with his son.


    Have you listened to any of Paul Michael Garcia’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

    No.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    The ending.


    Any additional comments?

    No.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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  • Mrs. REP
    Midlands, UK.
    7/29/12
    Overall
    "Brilliant!"

    I'm a huge Dan Savage fan anyway, but I really loved this book. Something to make you think and to make you laugh.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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