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Still Foolin' 'Em: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys | [Billy Crystal]

Still Foolin' 'Em: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys

Billy Crystal is 65, and he's not happy about it. With his trademark wit and heart, he outlines the absurdities and challenges that come with growing old, from insomnia to memory loss to leaving dinners with half your meal on your shirt. In humorous chapters like ""Buying the Plot"" and ""Nodding Off,"" Crystal not only catalogues his physical gripes, but offers a road map to his 77 million fellow baby boomers who are arriving at this milestone age with him. He also looks back at the most powerful and memorable moments of his long and storied life, from entertaining his relatives as a kid in Long Beach, Long Island, and his years doing stand-up in the Village, up through his legendary stint at Saturday Night Live, When Harry Met Sally, and his long run as host of the Academy Awards. Listeners get a front-row seat to his one-day career with the New York Yankees (he was the first player to ever ""test positive for Maalox""), his love affair with Sophia Loren, and his enduring friendships with several of his idols, including Mickey Mantle and Muhammad Ali. He lends a light touch to more serious topics like religion (""the aging friends I know have turned to the Holy Trinity: Advil, bourbon, and Prozac""); grandparenting; and, of course, dentistry. As wise and poignant as they are funny, Crystal's reflections are an unforgettable look at an extraordinary life well lived.
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Publisher's Summary

Audie Award - Audiobook of the Year, 2014

Audie Award Winner, Narration by the Author or Authors, 2014

Audie Award Winner, Humor, 2014

Nominated for a 2014 Grammy in the Spoken Word category!

Hilarious and heartfelt observations on aging from one of America's favorite comedians, now that he's 65, and a look back at a remarkable career.

Billy Crystal is 65, and he's not happy about it. With his trademark wit and heart, he outlines the absurdities and challenges that come with growing old, from insomnia to memory loss to leaving dinners with half your meal on your shirt. In humorous chapters like ""Buying the Plot"" and ""Nodding Off,"" Crystal not only catalogues his physical gripes, but offers a road map to his 77 million fellow baby boomers who are arriving at this milestone age with him. He also looks back at the most powerful and memorable moments of his long and storied life, from entertaining his relatives as a kid in Long Beach, Long Island, and his years doing stand-up in the Village, up through his legendary stint at Saturday Night Live, When Harry Met Sally, and his long run as host of the Academy Awards. Listeners get a front-row seat to his one-day career with the New York Yankees (he was the first player to ever ""test positive for Maalox""), his love affair with Sophia Loren, and his enduring friendships with several of his idols, including Mickey Mantle and Muhammad Ali. He lends a light touch to more serious topics like religion (""the aging friends I know have turned to the Holy Trinity: Advil, bourbon, and Prozac""); grandparenting; and, of course, dentistry. As wise and poignant as they are funny, Crystal's reflections are an unforgettable look at an extraordinary life well lived.

Still Foolin' 'Em includes a portion recorded in front of a live studio audience.

©2013 Jennilind LLC (P)2013 Macmillan Audio

What Members Say

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  •  
    J. Price Escondido, CA United States 09-16-13
    J. Price Escondido, CA United States 09-16-13 Member Since 2013
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    "Uplifting, Funny, Heartfelt"
    Would you consider the audio edition of Still Foolin' 'Em to be better than the print version?

    The audio is DEFINITELY better than hard copy would have been for this book, with Billy Crystal reading.... it was like an 8 hour AMAZING show.


    What about Billy Crystal’s performance did you like?

    He was genuine, funny, transparent. I'm not sure if I sniffled and got choked up any less than I laughed out loud. Very moving story, wonderful writing, incredible performance. Highly recommend.


    11 of 13 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Marilyn Melbourne, FL, United States 10-22-13
    Marilyn Melbourne, FL, United States 10-22-13
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    "Simply Marvelous...Sorry, but I had to say it..."
    What made the experience of listening to Still Foolin' 'Em the most enjoyable?

    Billy Crystal! He gave a private performance for me as "we" walked the causeway and while "we" drove to Ft. Lauderdale for my own gig. What a delight hearing his tales in his own voice! I'm new to audio books and I haven't stopped talking about how great it was to have this book read by the author himself. I believe, especially after hearing his book, it was just like him to want us to get the full meaning of each story... that might have been lost with someone else voice. I'm in the middle of listening to it for the second time and I marvel at how pleasant his voice is and the care he put into each chapter. He wanted to get it right...and I believe...well, lol, he did!


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Still Foolin' 'Em?

    One? ONE? That's tough...Well, one was his conversation with Charles Bronson-nothing like the exact words to get the point(s) across... Then there's his 40th birthday, and when he met his wife, and lost his father and mother...


    What about Billy Crystal’s performance did you like?

    The warmth in his voice...he is talking to you one-on-one like a friend.


    Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    Both...tears all the way around...I laughed out loud, and at many points, tears were evident -which could have been embarrassing had I not had my ear buds in-and with some of the sadder moments my eyes filled with tears and made me feel the emotions those moments were meant to share.


    Any additional comments?

    There's not enough time or space...just listen to it...you'll fall in love with Billy if you're not already!

    6 of 7 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Chris 12-05-13
    Chris 12-05-13
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    "GREAT Listen!"

    Billy Crystal's performance in this book was perfect. I often listen to books while at work and I found myself laughing out loud while my co-workers looked at me as if I were loosing my mind. I could relate to many of the situations in the book. I will definitely listen to this book more than once. I plan on sharing the audio as well has purchasing the book to give as gifts.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Elizabeth Bellevue, WA, United States 11-26-13
    Elizabeth Bellevue, WA, United States 11-26-13 Member Since 2015

    A school administrator and avid reader and listener of books. At least an hour of every day is spent in the car, and that's where the bulk of my listening is done. I tend to listen to books on "faster" mode so I can get through more books!

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    "Perfect Crystal"

    Just like any book, this book isn't for everyone. If you don't love Billy Crystal, then don't bother. If you don't love learning about the amusing and most likely embellished reflections of an aging comedian, then don't bother. If you don't enjoy a good guy talking about his positive relationships with his family, friends and other celebrities, then don't bother.

    If you do enjoy Billy Crystal's work, then spend time with this book, which is even better on the audio version because Crystal narrates it and his impersonations and voices only enhance the experience.

    Crystal's reflections of his 65 years are both touching (I cried at times) and hysterical (a big belly laugh at the gym had people looking at me). As he describes his relationships, he is respectful of most everyone, and you can tell how important his family and friends are to him.

    His life, for the rest of us, is fairly surreal. Who gets to throw themselves massive birthday parties that involve celebrities, playing for your favorite baseball team, etc.? The answer is: almost no one. But Crystal can, and has, and his stories of them are enjoyable and heart-felt.

    I look forward to his next book.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Lew Derry, NH, United States 10-06-13
    Lew Derry, NH, United States 10-06-13 Member Since 2012
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    "Boring"
    Would you try another book from Billy Crystal and/or Billy Crystal?

    Yes. I think he is a brilliant funny guy. Not here !


    Has Still Foolin' 'Em turned you off from other books in this genre?

    I'll give him one more shot.


    What does Billy Crystal bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    I listened to half the book and could not stomach this fawning confection.


    Any additional comments?

    Save your money. Save your time.

    4 of 5 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Ed Saint Augustine, FL, United States 10-10-13
    Ed Saint Augustine, FL, United States 10-10-13 Member Since 2015

    Retired former magazine editor who is working harder than ever as Mr. Dad to his 12-year-old daughter.

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    "Smart words from a funny guy"

    I listened to this book because, like Billy, I grew up in Long Beach in the fifties and sixties. He is three years older than me and was in my late brother's class at Long Beach High School. I remember playing softball with Billy at the East School playground. He was short back then too. I was hoping he would make a reference to the temple across the street from East School on Neptune Boulevard. A long softball drive would make it across the boulevard and hit Temple Emanuel. "Hit Emanuel" was one of our war cries. In softball terms it was the equivalent of a tape measure homer by Mickey. The book was memorable because I could personally identify with many of the references Billy made to his hometown. Beyond that, I learned many new things about Billy and the trip that brought him to where he is today. A funny and talented guy, he made me laugh, cry and remember. The live portions of the narration before an audience were like listening to new material in comedy record albums. Overall, a great listen.

    11 of 15 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Roderick 11-12-13
    Roderick 11-12-13
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    "I thought I'd like it...but didn't"
    What disappointed you about Still Foolin' 'Em?

    The delivery was too fast, as if he's trying to read the book as quickly as possible. But the worst part is that you start disliking Billy, as he comes off self centered...and not in a good way.


    What could Billy Crystal have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

    Relax a bit and slow down the delivery.


    What character would you cut from Still Foolin' 'Em?

    He worships Ali and Mickey Mantle. Great, but he does it repeatedly. I know it's his book and his life, but it just wasn't an enjoyable read for me. But other people might like it just fine, it's just not my cup of tea.


    6 of 8 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kathy Davis, CA, United States 08-03-14
    Kathy Davis, CA, United States 08-03-14 Member Since 2008

    Newly retired, I am a reading fiend! I like many types of books, both fiction and non-fiction, with the exception of romance and fantasy

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    "Funny and interesting and moving!"

    I wasn't sure, at first, if I could enjoy 8 hours of Billy Crystal. The beginning of the book had many laugh-out loud moments as Billy discussed growing old. It particularly resonated with me, as Billy and I are very close in age and grew up in nearby Long Island towns. Billy alternated chapters of his autobiography with standup comedy routines about the joys (or horrors!) of getting old. He also ranted about people's behaviors that frustrated him, many of which I could identify with.

    Billy is a very likeable guy. He couldn't have made so many wonderful and amazing friends without having a genuinely great personality. I really liked his ability to look on the bright side of life and not focus on the negative. I also found it amazing that Billy has been married to his sweetheart, Janice, since 1970! You just don't see this happening in Hollywood any more.

    This was a fun, easy listen for me, and I am glad I purchased this book. It was an unexpectedly pleasant listening experience.

    3 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer 06-13-14 Member Since 2015

    I value intelligent stories with characters I can relate to. I can appreciate good prose, but a captivating plot is way more important.

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    "Good but overrated"

    I'm a Billy Crystal fan. I enjoy his movies, and I liked this book.

    That being said, I think that it got a lot more praise than it deserved, and I think that reading the book in front of a live audience should have disqualified it from being eligible for "best narration". It was amusing, but half of it was essentially a comedy album. Not really a fair competition.

    Anyway, I enjoyed Crystal's stories, but like all comedians of a certain age, his humor frequently felt flat. It was rehashed jokes I've heard other places for years now.

    Crystal's life was interesting, and the book held my attention. But the book was also about growing old, and was frequently depressing and sad. Like the movie "Mr. Saturday Night", referenced in the book with much self-awareness, I found it depressing to see a comedian I love grow old. Maybe that's not fair reason to downgrade my rating... and maybe it's a reflection of my age that I'm just not ready for a poignant swan-song from one of my favorite celebrities.

    Anyway, It's an excellent performance, and pretty good story. If I didn't feel it was being vastly overrated, I would have given it an additional star, but in this case, I do feel it needs to be knocked down a peg.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer FL 06-06-14
    Amazon Customer FL 06-06-14
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    "One of the Best"
    Would you listen to Still Foolin' 'Em again? Why?

    I never was a big Billy Crystal fan before I listened to this bio. Funny. Entertaining. And what a charming reader. I've listened to it several times already while taking my daily walk.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
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  • Matt
    1/22/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Makes you feel good...."

    Best bit is having Billy narrate his own story - great voice and easy to listen too.

    Good story, good fun and ultimately you will feel good and happy you heard it...

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Felix Le Corre
    London, UK
    1/17/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "A biography with the benefit of a show"
    Would you listen to Still Foolin' 'Em again? Why?

    This audiobook is interesting and entertaining in that you get the biography of Billy Crystal and the benefit of one of his latest shows to pepper the story with jokes. Read by Mr. Crystal it makes for a very good story. I certainly discovered a great deal more accomplishments than originally expected.


    Any additional comments?

    Chances are if you listen to this in your commute, you'll be the lone person laughing on their own in the bus/train. Still, it was a delight.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • mac
    11/30/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Stay with it - its worth it!"
    What did you like most about Still Foolin' 'Em?

    I like the way the story unfolded and how Billy Crystal was able to show the listener his hidden depth.


    What did you like best about this story?

    It made me laugh and cry within seconds of each other - truly magical.


    Which character – as performed by Billy Crystal – was your favourite?

    N/A


    If you made a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

    N/A


    Any additional comments?

    This book starts a little slowly but it was worth the wait. It had me hooked longing to here the next tale or story and I just wanted to see where it went next. It is a little unconventional and I struggled with the mix of spoken word direct to the listener and recording live however, it works.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Beccy
    8/20/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "More than worth the credit!"

    From a very funny man comes an extremely funny story of his life, what he's experienced and what he learned along the way. Was laughing in the first minute and it only got better from there. I brought this on a whim, not my usual 'listen' but i'm so, pleased i did.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Jackie
    United Kingdom
    4/10/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "I hated this"
    Any additional comments?

    I used to like Billy Crystal years ago so in need of some light relief I thought I'd listen to this. Talk about tiresome! I think maybe if you are a Jewish American baseball fanatic with significant knowledge of the working of the film and TV industry it may resonate more with you but I lost the will to live - which was the opposite of what I was hoping for.

    5 of 7 people found this review helpful
  • Amazon Customer
    6/8/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Wonderful life, wonderful storyteller"

    Billy crystal has such an easy voice to listen to, it's like a one on one stand up that is touching, poignant and some times sad. Overall though I have never laughed so much at an autobiography.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Mr. P. D. Selman
    Kent, U.K.
    4/25/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "A must read for Billy Crystal fans"
    What made the experience of listening to Still Foolin' 'Em the most enjoyable?

    The fact it's narrated by Crystal himself. If you're a fan of his stand-up or movies, you will love this book.


    Did you have an emotional reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    I laughed and cried in almost equal measure. This is a deeply personal piece for Crystal and you can feel the emotion and meaning in every line. You can't fail to be moved and you'll be laughing out loud despite yourself. I wouldn't suggest reading it in a public place!


    Any additional comments?

    Man, does this guy love baseball!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Joan O Ireland
    Ireland
    10/7/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Laughed out loud on the train"
    Would you consider the audio edition of Still Foolin' 'Em to be better than the print version?

    Did not buy the print version.


    What other book might you compare Still Foolin' 'Em to, and why?

    Up Till Now


    Which scene did you most enjoy?

    His description of his family now and young life is touching.


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    I like to listen to books over time so it was long enough to enjoy over a few days when I had time. Played it twice.


    Any additional comments?

    The fact that Billy is the narrator is great because it is his own story, so many books are ruined because someone else is putting their slant or accent on them.

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Alison
    United Kingdom
    3/29/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Not what I was expecting..."
    What disappointed you about Still Foolin' 'Em?

    I love Billy Crystal as an actor, still do.


    What was most disappointing about Billy Crystal’s story?

    Not so keen on him as 'him'; too 'in your face' for me from someone who I still think of as Harry...


    1 of 2 people found this review helpful

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