We are currently making improvements to the Audible site. In an effort to enhance the accessibility experience for our customers, we have created a page to more easily navigate the new experience, available at the web address www.audible.com/access.
Still Foolin' 'Em: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys | [Billy Crystal]

Still Foolin' 'Em: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys

Billy Crystal is 65, and he's not happy about it. With his trademark wit and heart, he outlines the absurdities and challenges that come with growing old, from insomnia to memory loss to leaving dinners with half your meal on your shirt. In humorous chapters like ""Buying the Plot"" and ""Nodding Off,"" Crystal not only catalogues his physical gripes, but offers a road map to his 77 million fellow baby boomers who are arriving at this milestone age with him. He also looks back at the most powerful and memorable moments of his long and storied life, from entertaining his relatives as a kid in Long Beach, Long Island, and his years doing stand-up in the Village, up through his legendary stint at Saturday Night Live, When Harry Met Sally, and his long run as host of the Academy Awards. Listeners get a front-row seat to his one-day career with the New York Yankees (he was the first player to ever ""test positive for Maalox""), his love affair with Sophia Loren, and his enduring friendships with several of his idols, including Mickey Mantle and Muhammad Ali. He lends a light touch to more serious topics like religion (""the aging friends I know have turned to the Holy Trinity: Advil, bourbon, and Prozac""); grandparenting; and, of course, dentistry. As wise and poignant as they are funny, Crystal's reflections are an unforgettable look at an extraordinary life well lived.
Regular Price:$20.99
  • Membership Details:
    • First book free with 30-day trial
    • $14.95/month thereafter for your choice of 1 new book each month
    • Cancel easily anytime
    • Exchange books you don't like
    • All selected books are yours to keep, even if you cancel
  • - or -

Your Likes make Audible better!

'Likes' are shared on Facebook and Audible.com. We use your 'likes' to improve Audible.com for all our listeners.

You can turn off Audible.com sharing from your Account Details page.

OK

Publisher's Summary

Audie Award - Audiobook of the Year, 2014

Audie Award Winner, Narration by the Author or Authors, 2014

Audie Award Winner, Humor, 2014

Nominated for a 2014 Grammy in the Spoken Word category!

Hilarious and heartfelt observations on aging from one of America's favorite comedians, now that he's 65, and a look back at a remarkable career.

Billy Crystal is 65, and he's not happy about it. With his trademark wit and heart, he outlines the absurdities and challenges that come with growing old, from insomnia to memory loss to leaving dinners with half your meal on your shirt. In humorous chapters like ""Buying the Plot"" and ""Nodding Off,"" Crystal not only catalogues his physical gripes, but offers a road map to his 77 million fellow baby boomers who are arriving at this milestone age with him. He also looks back at the most powerful and memorable moments of his long and storied life, from entertaining his relatives as a kid in Long Beach, Long Island, and his years doing stand-up in the Village, up through his legendary stint at Saturday Night Live, When Harry Met Sally, and his long run as host of the Academy Awards. Listeners get a front-row seat to his one-day career with the New York Yankees (he was the first player to ever ""test positive for Maalox""), his love affair with Sophia Loren, and his enduring friendships with several of his idols, including Mickey Mantle and Muhammad Ali. He lends a light touch to more serious topics like religion (""the aging friends I know have turned to the Holy Trinity: Advil, bourbon, and Prozac""); grandparenting; and, of course, dentistry. As wise and poignant as they are funny, Crystal's reflections are an unforgettable look at an extraordinary life well lived.

Still Foolin' 'Em includes a portion recorded in front of a live studio audience.

©2013 Jennilind LLC (P)2013 Macmillan Audio

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.3 (2580 )
5 star
 (1434)
4 star
 (697)
3 star
 (307)
2 star
 (76)
1 star
 (66)
Overall
4.3 (2339 )
5 star
 (1285)
4 star
 (611)
3 star
 (295)
2 star
 (81)
1 star
 (67)
Story
4.6 (2341 )
5 star
 (1691)
4 star
 (425)
3 star
 (136)
2 star
 (50)
1 star
 (39)
Performance
Sort by:
  •  
    J. Price Escondido, CA United States 09-16-13
    J. Price Escondido, CA United States 09-16-13 Member Since 2013
    HELPFUL VOTES
    11
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    143
    1
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Uplifting, Funny, Heartfelt"
    Would you consider the audio edition of Still Foolin' 'Em to be better than the print version?

    The audio is DEFINITELY better than hard copy would have been for this book, with Billy Crystal reading.... it was like an 8 hour AMAZING show.


    What about Billy Crystal’s performance did you like?

    He was genuine, funny, transparent. I'm not sure if I sniffled and got choked up any less than I laughed out loud. Very moving story, wonderful writing, incredible performance. Highly recommend.


    11 of 13 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Marilyn Melbourne, FL, United States 10-22-13
    Marilyn Melbourne, FL, United States 10-22-13
    HELPFUL VOTES
    6
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    1
    1
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Simply Marvelous...Sorry, but I had to say it..."
    What made the experience of listening to Still Foolin' 'Em the most enjoyable?

    Billy Crystal! He gave a private performance for me as "we" walked the causeway and while "we" drove to Ft. Lauderdale for my own gig. What a delight hearing his tales in his own voice! I'm new to audio books and I haven't stopped talking about how great it was to have this book read by the author himself. I believe, especially after hearing his book, it was just like him to want us to get the full meaning of each story... that might have been lost with someone else voice. I'm in the middle of listening to it for the second time and I marvel at how pleasant his voice is and the care he put into each chapter. He wanted to get it right...and I believe...well, lol, he did!


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Still Foolin' 'Em?

    One? ONE? That's tough...Well, one was his conversation with Charles Bronson-nothing like the exact words to get the point(s) across... Then there's his 40th birthday, and when he met his wife, and lost his father and mother...


    What about Billy Crystal’s performance did you like?

    The warmth in his voice...he is talking to you one-on-one like a friend.


    Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    Both...tears all the way around...I laughed out loud, and at many points, tears were evident -which could have been embarrassing had I not had my ear buds in-and with some of the sadder moments my eyes filled with tears and made me feel the emotions those moments were meant to share.


    Any additional comments?

    There's not enough time or space...just listen to it...you'll fall in love with Billy if you're not already!

    6 of 7 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Chris 12-05-13
    Chris 12-05-13
    HELPFUL VOTES
    2
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    15
    3
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "GREAT Listen!"

    Billy Crystal's performance in this book was perfect. I often listen to books while at work and I found myself laughing out loud while my co-workers looked at me as if I were loosing my mind. I could relate to many of the situations in the book. I will definitely listen to this book more than once. I plan on sharing the audio as well has purchasing the book to give as gifts.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Elizabeth Bellevue, WA, United States 11-26-13
    Elizabeth Bellevue, WA, United States 11-26-13 Member Since 2015

    A school administrator and avid reader and listener of books. At least an hour of every day is spent in the car, and that's where the bulk of my listening is done. I tend to listen to books on "faster" mode so I can get through more books!

    HELPFUL VOTES
    172
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    537
    188
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    9
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Perfect Crystal"

    Just like any book, this book isn't for everyone. If you don't love Billy Crystal, then don't bother. If you don't love learning about the amusing and most likely embellished reflections of an aging comedian, then don't bother. If you don't enjoy a good guy talking about his positive relationships with his family, friends and other celebrities, then don't bother.

    If you do enjoy Billy Crystal's work, then spend time with this book, which is even better on the audio version because Crystal narrates it and his impersonations and voices only enhance the experience.

    Crystal's reflections of his 65 years are both touching (I cried at times) and hysterical (a big belly laugh at the gym had people looking at me). As he describes his relationships, he is respectful of most everyone, and you can tell how important his family and friends are to him.

    His life, for the rest of us, is fairly surreal. Who gets to throw themselves massive birthday parties that involve celebrities, playing for your favorite baseball team, etc.? The answer is: almost no one. But Crystal can, and has, and his stories of them are enjoyable and heart-felt.

    I look forward to his next book.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Lew Derry, NH, United States 10-06-13
    Lew Derry, NH, United States 10-06-13 Member Since 2012
    HELPFUL VOTES
    4
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    1
    1
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    2
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Boring"
    Would you try another book from Billy Crystal and/or Billy Crystal?

    Yes. I think he is a brilliant funny guy. Not here !


    Has Still Foolin' 'Em turned you off from other books in this genre?

    I'll give him one more shot.


    What does Billy Crystal bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    I listened to half the book and could not stomach this fawning confection.


    Any additional comments?

    Save your money. Save your time.

    4 of 5 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Ed Saint Augustine, FL, United States 10-10-13
    Ed Saint Augustine, FL, United States 10-10-13 Listener Since 2006

    Retired former magazine editor who is working harder than ever as Mr. Dad to his 12-year-old daughter.

    HELPFUL VOTES
    2761
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    418
    227
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    2360
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Smart words from a funny guy"

    I listened to this book because, like Billy, I grew up in Long Beach in the fifties and sixties. He is three years older than me and was in my late brother's class at Long Beach High School. I remember playing softball with Billy at the East School playground. He was short back then too. I was hoping he would make a reference to the temple across the street from East School on Neptune Boulevard. A long softball drive would make it across the boulevard and hit Temple Emanuel. "Hit Emanuel" was one of our war cries. In softball terms it was the equivalent of a tape measure homer by Mickey. The book was memorable because I could personally identify with many of the references Billy made to his hometown. Beyond that, I learned many new things about Billy and the trip that brought him to where he is today. A funny and talented guy, he made me laugh, cry and remember. The live portions of the narration before an audience were like listening to new material in comedy record albums. Overall, a great listen.

    11 of 15 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Roderick 11-12-13
    Roderick 11-12-13
    HELPFUL VOTES
    6
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    3
    1
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "I thought I'd like it...but didn't"
    What disappointed you about Still Foolin' 'Em?

    The delivery was too fast, as if he's trying to read the book as quickly as possible. But the worst part is that you start disliking Billy, as he comes off self centered...and not in a good way.


    What could Billy Crystal have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

    Relax a bit and slow down the delivery.


    What character would you cut from Still Foolin' 'Em?

    He worships Ali and Mickey Mantle. Great, but he does it repeatedly. I know it's his book and his life, but it just wasn't an enjoyable read for me. But other people might like it just fine, it's just not my cup of tea.


    6 of 8 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kathy Davis, CA, United States 08-03-14
    Kathy Davis, CA, United States 08-03-14 Member Since 2008

    Newly retired, I am a reading fiend! I like many types of books, both fiction and non-fiction, with the exception of romance and fantasy

    HELPFUL VOTES
    1056
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    473
    259
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    130
    35
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Funny and interesting and moving!"

    I wasn't sure, at first, if I could enjoy 8 hours of Billy Crystal. The beginning of the book had many laugh-out loud moments as Billy discussed growing old. It particularly resonated with me, as Billy and I are very close in age and grew up in nearby Long Island towns. Billy alternated chapters of his autobiography with standup comedy routines about the joys (or horrors!) of getting old. He also ranted about people's behaviors that frustrated him, many of which I could identify with.

    Billy is a very likeable guy. He couldn't have made so many wonderful and amazing friends without having a genuinely great personality. I really liked his ability to look on the bright side of life and not focus on the negative. I also found it amazing that Billy has been married to his sweetheart, Janice, since 1970! You just don't see this happening in Hollywood any more.

    This was a fun, easy listen for me, and I am glad I purchased this book. It was an unexpectedly pleasant listening experience.

    3 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer 06-13-14 Member Since 2015

    I value intelligent stories with characters I can relate to. I can appreciate good prose, but a captivating plot is way more important.

    HELPFUL VOTES
    521
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    197
    163
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    22
    2
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Good but overrated"

    I'm a Billy Crystal fan. I enjoy his movies, and I liked this book.

    That being said, I think that it got a lot more praise than it deserved, and I think that reading the book in front of a live audience should have disqualified it from being eligible for "best narration". It was amusing, but half of it was essentially a comedy album. Not really a fair competition.

    Anyway, I enjoyed Crystal's stories, but like all comedians of a certain age, his humor frequently felt flat. It was rehashed jokes I've heard other places for years now.

    Crystal's life was interesting, and the book held my attention. But the book was also about growing old, and was frequently depressing and sad. Like the movie "Mr. Saturday Night", referenced in the book with much self-awareness, I found it depressing to see a comedian I love grow old. Maybe that's not fair reason to downgrade my rating... and maybe it's a reflection of my age that I'm just not ready for a poignant swan-song from one of my favorite celebrities.

    Anyway, It's an excellent performance, and pretty good story. If I didn't feel it was being vastly overrated, I would have given it an additional star, but in this case, I do feel it needs to be knocked down a peg.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Karen D. Phillips, MD 06-11-14 Member Since 2015
    HELPFUL VOTES
    64
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    22
    14
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    1
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Just loved it."

    Just plain loved it. I was disappointed when it came to an end. Good use of credit.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
Sort by:
  • A. Arrowsmith
    Chelmsford, Essex United Kingdom
    8/28/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Billy, you never fail us!"
    If you could sum up Still Foolin' 'Em in three words, what would they be?

    Honest Funny Family


    What other book might you compare Still Foolin' 'Em to, and why?

    Any autobiography that is honest, funny, heartwarming, humble and entertaining.


    Which scene did you most enjoy?

    Oo, ermmm, tricky one that! His early days with Janice? All encounters with Mohammed Ali? They will do for starters :)


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    When he talks about his wife. He so clearly adores every bone of her.


    Any additional comments?

    Billy, I wish that your life had been 1000 years already as I could listen to your exploits, adventures, thoughts and anecdotes for a very long time before I got even close to putting on a kettle.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Mr
    United Kingdom
    8/1/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Simply very Billy Crystal"
    If you could sum up Still Foolin' 'Em in three words, what would they be?

    Hilarious, touching, engrossing


    What other book might you compare Still Foolin' 'Em to, and why?

    Nothing compares to this, he is genius...


    Which character – as performed by Billy Crystal – was your favourite?

    Has to be Magic Max


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    When Billy describes the worst part about death


    Any additional comments?

    An utterly captivating and thoroughly entertaining performance, made all that funnier by Billy himself delivering much of it in front of a live audience - absolute comedy gold, with a very personal and heart-warming feel to it. Loved it!

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Amazon Customer
    7/7/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Loved it. Billy is funny and human"
    If you could sum up Still Foolin' 'Em in three words, what would they be?

    Billy manages to be charming, funny and down to earth without a trace of arrogance. He tells his story with humour and in a way I could totally relate to. His voice is such a pleasure to listen to and I just loved this book.


    Which character – as performed by Billy Crystal – was your favourite?

    I have always been a Billy Crystal fan, but this book made his so much more real. It felt like I was listening to an old and dear friend.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    Billy's recounting of his daughters and in particular, the eldest one's wedding really touched me. I felt like it could have been our home, our daughters.


    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Merril
    Chelmsford, Essex, United Kingdom
    6/29/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "If you write it, I will read!"
    If you could sum up Still Foolin' 'Em in three words, what would they be?

    Entertaining, fun,


    What did you like best about this story?

    Light hearted look at life


    What about Billy Crystal’s performance did you like?

    It feels a very personal reading, like a good friend talking to you in your living room. He is a good story teller, and I didn't realise until now what a good mimic he is too. A very entertaining listen, especially for those of us who are in our fifties - he outlines all those things we have to look forward to :)))


    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Mrs Clare Mead
    Kent
    6/22/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Brilliant, Loved the actor but now love the man!"
    Which character – as performed by Billy Crystal – was your favourite?

    I would have to say that all the voices was good


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    They way that family is everything, the love that he feels for his family


    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • graham
    4/8/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "engrossing"

    Billy crystal nailed the narration. brilliant stories and very laugh out loud moments. A must listen.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Karen Choo
    3/24/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Vastly entertaining"

    Funny, witty, insightful with fascinating peeks into Billy Crystal's personal life and private moments with family and friends. I found myself smiling throughout the book and even laughing out loud in many places. I hope Billy Crystal continues to entertain us in his inimitable way for a few more decades to come.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • G.
    Kent, UK
    2/24/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Billy Is The Best!"

    Brilliant! Nothing better than listen to the exuberant tones of Billy Crystal, narrating a wonderful life... Touched with humour, emotion and great anecdotes. Superb!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Sue McW
    UK
    2/22/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Amusing but better for an American audience"

    The bonus in this book is that some sections are live in front of an audience - which adds vitality. The best sections are about Billy's personal life and are much more heartfelt. There are short sections where Billy 'performs' in the voices of people he is know for impersonating - those I found less engaging. As an English reader, the sections on baseball and sports were not of so much interest to me - but that's a subjective thing - and is not meant as a criticism - just a note for other UK readers. An amusing read with varied sections that will appeal to different groups of people.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • LE BROOKS
    2/8/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Love Billy Crystal say no more"
    What made the experience of listening to Still Foolin' 'Em the most enjoyable?

    Billy reading the story.


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Still Foolin' 'Em?

    Just how grounded he is, one wife, one house


    What does Billy Crystal bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you had only read the book?

    His unique voice


    Any additional comments?

    Great book, laughed so many times, only half way through and already feeling sad because it will end.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful

Report Inappropriate Content

If you find this review inappropriate and think it should be removed from our site, let us know. This report will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.

Cancel

Thank you.

Your report has been received. It will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.