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Still Foolin' 'Em: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys | [Billy Crystal]

Still Foolin' 'Em: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys

Billy Crystal is 65, and he's not happy about it. With his trademark wit and heart, he outlines the absurdities and challenges that come with growing old, from insomnia to memory loss to leaving dinners with half your meal on your shirt. In humorous chapters like ""Buying the Plot"" and ""Nodding Off,"" Crystal not only catalogues his physical gripes, but offers a road map to his 77 million fellow baby boomers who are arriving at this milestone age with him. He also looks back at the most powerful and memorable moments of his long and storied life, from entertaining his relatives as a kid in Long Beach, Long Island, and his years doing stand-up in the Village, up through his legendary stint at Saturday Night Live, When Harry Met Sally, and his long run as host of the Academy Awards. Listeners get a front-row seat to his one-day career with the New York Yankees (he was the first player to ever ""test positive for Maalox""), his love affair with Sophia Loren, and his enduring friendships with several of his idols, including Mickey Mantle and Muhammad Ali. He lends a light touch to more serious topics like religion (""the aging friends I know have turned to the Holy Trinity: Advil, bourbon, and Prozac""); grandparenting; and, of course, dentistry. As wise and poignant as they are funny, Crystal's reflections are an unforgettable look at an extraordinary life well lived.
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Publisher's Summary

Audie Award - Audiobook of the Year, 2014

Audie Award Winner, Narration by the Author or Authors, 2014

Audie Award Winner, Humor, 2014

Nominated for a 2014 Grammy in the Spoken Word category!

Hilarious and heartfelt observations on aging from one of America's favorite comedians, now that he's 65, and a look back at a remarkable career.

Billy Crystal is 65, and he's not happy about it. With his trademark wit and heart, he outlines the absurdities and challenges that come with growing old, from insomnia to memory loss to leaving dinners with half your meal on your shirt. In humorous chapters like ""Buying the Plot"" and ""Nodding Off,"" Crystal not only catalogues his physical gripes, but offers a road map to his 77 million fellow baby boomers who are arriving at this milestone age with him. He also looks back at the most powerful and memorable moments of his long and storied life, from entertaining his relatives as a kid in Long Beach, Long Island, and his years doing stand-up in the Village, up through his legendary stint at Saturday Night Live, When Harry Met Sally, and his long run as host of the Academy Awards. Listeners get a front-row seat to his one-day career with the New York Yankees (he was the first player to ever ""test positive for Maalox""), his love affair with Sophia Loren, and his enduring friendships with several of his idols, including Mickey Mantle and Muhammad Ali. He lends a light touch to more serious topics like religion (""the aging friends I know have turned to the Holy Trinity: Advil, bourbon, and Prozac""); grandparenting; and, of course, dentistry. As wise and poignant as they are funny, Crystal's reflections are an unforgettable look at an extraordinary life well lived.

Still Foolin' 'Em includes a portion recorded in front of a live studio audience.

©2013 Jennilind LLC (P)2013 Macmillan Audio

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

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  •  
    Pamela J United States 09-19-13
    Pamela J United States 09-19-13 Member Since 2004

    Sure, I'd love to hear your story....

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Growing up with Billy Crystal"

    I hesitated at first because I really don't need a comedian, even an excellent one like Crystal, to tell me what aging feels like. This is much, much beyond that. Truly laugh out loud funny and surprisingly poignant, the decades of Billy's life are full of colorful (and often famous) characters that will fascinate you if you're acquainted with them or not. Yes, there are the old guy jokes, and they're funny, but it's when he's playing straight man to what is happening to him and around him when this book really zings. This is a book that you should NOT read on paper (or screen), but listen to performed by a master joker. Great fun.

    30 of 31 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Marci portland, OR, United States 09-12-13
    Marci portland, OR, United States 09-12-13 Member Since 2006
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    "Disarmingly Honest"

    I enjoyed this book, and as expected, I laughed out loud multiple times. I can't imagine "reading" this book when you have the opportunity to listen to Billy Crystal read it to you. Having his voice truly made all the difference and brought the laughs.
    The insights into the sports figures were especially interesting and getting a peek behind the scenes of movies like When Harry Met Sally and City Slickers was a treat.
    Going back and forth between Crystal reading the book and reading it live in front of an audience was a really nice touch, I especially loved that.
    Because Crystal is reading it to you, it feels intimate. So occasionally he drops facts, or lines, that are surprising, like how rich he is, or how much he dislikes someone, things that were really, very honest. I loved it. I love being surprised, and I love being surprised that I'm surprised.
    I recommend this book.

    38 of 40 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Sara Syracuse, NY 12-06-13
    Sara Syracuse, NY 12-06-13 Member Since 2013

    Recent college grad who studied creative writing... now I bum 'round listening to other's works. Not a bad life :)

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Falling out of love with Crystal"
    What disappointed you about Still Foolin' 'Em?

    Chapters one and two are awesome standup. I laughed so hard I accidently woke my husband sleeping next to me, then pulled off my headphones so he could listen too. After a minute or two he was laughing with me--it was great! However, as the chapters went on it became less funny and turned ranty, you know, like grandpa does.

    By chapter 14 he was literally bellyaching about what he doesn't like e.g. "fat" people, airport searches, politics bla, bla, bla. I couldn't believe it and, for me, comedy that puts down people or is just angry (for the sake of it) it's funny. Some parts of the book were amazing. One part about a boxer (I wont say more) was incredible. However, for the most part--he sound old and just not as funny anymore.

    Also, he kept saying tits over, and over, and over. Even time I cringed. I know he's from an older generation (I just turned 30 and was reading it for fun) but tits? Tits! Tits! Tits! He sounded like he was 13 or something and it was endless. I just thought he'd be a little more polished. He curses throughout the whole thing which I don't mind but his obsession with tits did bother me, in a creepy way.


    What didn’t you like about Billy Crystal’s performance?

    Like others have said, he reads this book like he just can't wait to be done with it. I think he could have slowed down a little. Some parts of the book are recorded live and those are really exciting! No matter what anyone says, in these live parts where he is on stage preforming he's a total natural!


    Any additional comments?

    If you are a huge Crystal fan then you will probably enjoy this. If you are in your 60s and want to go back to the generation and culture of the 60s then you will most likely enjoy this book. He really did capture the "spirit" of the 60s and 70s in a way I have never heard before. Happy readings!!

    7 of 7 people found this review helpful
  •  
    loix Pittsburgh, PA, United States 09-17-13
    loix Pittsburgh, PA, United States 09-17-13 Member Since 2004
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    "Who'd have known?"

    I thought all good comedians were the product of dysfunctional families. This is a very moving (if the last chapter doesn't get the waterworks going, see a professional) and enjoyable account of a family man and entertainer that thoroughly disabused me of that notion. Mr. Crystal's loving musings about his family--whether blood relatives or lifelong friends--nearly made a convert out of this sworn single person. Now there's the kind of success anyone would envy! The narration went by so fast that I had to be on the edge of my seat not to miss a single detail, but I doubt any other reader could have done the impressions or the tender memories justice.

    13 of 14 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Diane Havens 09-13-13
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    "Pure Crystal"
    Any additional comments?

    Fans of Billy Crystal could not ask for more -- everything you love about Billy Crystal is here. The sensitive, sometimes cranky, occasionally outrageous, intelligent, thoughtful and always very funny comedian-actor-director shares his life with us as you'd expect him to -- honestly, lovingly and with sharp wit. Happy I bought the audiobook version since the stand-up chapters recorded before a live audience added so much to the experience.

    17 of 19 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jody R. Nathan Tulsa, OK USA 09-13-13
    Jody R. Nathan Tulsa, OK USA 09-13-13 Member Since 2002
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    "great audio book, couldn't put it down"

    I very much enjoyed this book. Billy Crystal reads the book, and it is like an 8 hour performance from him. In fact, several chapters were recorded live as performances. Billy Crystal goes through his life and his loves with his unique perspective with warmth, wit and love. You'll laugh, you'll cry . . .oy vey, what else do you want?

    16 of 18 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Michelle 09-14-13
    Michelle 09-14-13 Member Since 2011

    pm04

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    "Warning: Don't listen to it in public."

    Unless you're use to people looking at you like your crazy be careful because you WILL laugh out loud. Billy Crystal has been a constant favorite of my family since Soap and continues to be with my kids. His life has been full of ups and downs just like everyone else only he doesn't run to the bottles & drugs like so many others. He has been blessed with talent, a wonderful family, and the chance to become friends with people he admired as a child and you're so happy for him. This book is light hearted, funny, and overall amazing. A MUST GET.

    15 of 17 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Andy Westport, CT, United States 09-18-13
    Andy Westport, CT, United States 09-18-13 Member Since 2002
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    "listen twice, it never gets old"

    What a great book! Funny, authentic, and much of it feels like you are in a live audience hearing it straight from the man himself. Wonderful stories about Billy Crystal, his kids, family, Ali and the Yankees. I hope he lives another 50 years, so that I can listen to him narrating the sequel.

    9 of 10 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kathy Davis, CA, United States 08-03-14
    Kathy Davis, CA, United States 08-03-14 Member Since 2008

    Newly retired, I am a reading fiend! I like many types of books, both fiction and non-fiction, with the exception of romance and fantasy

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Funny and interesting and moving!"

    I wasn't sure, at first, if I could enjoy 8 hours of Billy Crystal. The beginning of the book had many laugh-out loud moments as Billy discussed growing old. It particularly resonated with me, as Billy and I are very close in age and grew up in nearby Long Island towns. Billy alternated chapters of his autobiography with standup comedy routines about the joys (or horrors!) of getting old. He also ranted about people's behaviors that frustrated him, many of which I could identify with.

    Billy is a very likeable guy. He couldn't have made so many wonderful and amazing friends without having a genuinely great personality. I really liked his ability to look on the bright side of life and not focus on the negative. I also found it amazing that Billy has been married to his sweetheart, Janice, since 1970! You just don't see this happening in Hollywood any more.

    This was a fun, easy listen for me, and I am glad I purchased this book. It was an unexpectedly pleasant listening experience.

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Karen Thompson 12-09-13
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    "Terrific Time Listening to this!"

    This is a terrific book! Now, admittedly I'm over 50 so I found the humor most poignant... For younger readers this may be harder to relate to, but I would still recommend as it foreshadows what you're in for! In short- this is hilarious!

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  • Showing: 1-10 of 159 results PREVIOUS1216NEXT
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  • A. Arrowsmith
    Chelmsford, Essex United Kingdom
    8/28/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Billy, you never fail us!"
    If you could sum up Still Foolin' 'Em in three words, what would they be?

    Honest Funny Family


    What other book might you compare Still Foolin' 'Em to, and why?

    Any autobiography that is honest, funny, heartwarming, humble and entertaining.


    Which scene did you most enjoy?

    Oo, ermmm, tricky one that! His early days with Janice? All encounters with Mohammed Ali? They will do for starters :)


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    When he talks about his wife. He so clearly adores every bone of her.


    Any additional comments?

    Billy, I wish that your life had been 1000 years already as I could listen to your exploits, adventures, thoughts and anecdotes for a very long time before I got even close to putting on a kettle.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Mr
    United Kingdom
    8/1/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Simply very Billy Crystal"
    If you could sum up Still Foolin' 'Em in three words, what would they be?

    Hilarious, touching, engrossing


    What other book might you compare Still Foolin' 'Em to, and why?

    Nothing compares to this, he is genius...


    Which character – as performed by Billy Crystal – was your favourite?

    Has to be Magic Max


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    When Billy describes the worst part about death


    Any additional comments?

    An utterly captivating and thoroughly entertaining performance, made all that funnier by Billy himself delivering much of it in front of a live audience - absolute comedy gold, with a very personal and heart-warming feel to it. Loved it!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Amazon Customer
    7/7/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Loved it. Billy is funny and human"
    If you could sum up Still Foolin' 'Em in three words, what would they be?

    Billy manages to be charming, funny and down to earth without a trace of arrogance. He tells his story with humour and in a way I could totally relate to. His voice is such a pleasure to listen to and I just loved this book.


    Which character – as performed by Billy Crystal – was your favourite?

    I have always been a Billy Crystal fan, but this book made his so much more real. It felt like I was listening to an old and dear friend.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    Billy's recounting of his daughters and in particular, the eldest one's wedding really touched me. I felt like it could have been our home, our daughters.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Merril
    Chelmsford, Essex, United Kingdom
    6/29/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "If you write it, I will read!"
    If you could sum up Still Foolin' 'Em in three words, what would they be?

    Entertaining, fun,


    What did you like best about this story?

    Light hearted look at life


    What about Billy Crystal’s performance did you like?

    It feels a very personal reading, like a good friend talking to you in your living room. He is a good story teller, and I didn't realise until now what a good mimic he is too. A very entertaining listen, especially for those of us who are in our fifties - he outlines all those things we have to look forward to :)))


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Mrs Clare Mead
    Kent
    6/22/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Brilliant, Loved the actor but now love the man!"
    Which character – as performed by Billy Crystal – was your favourite?

    I would have to say that all the voices was good


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    They way that family is everything, the love that he feels for his family


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Jackie
    Dorchester, United Kingdom
    4/10/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "I hated this"
    Any additional comments?

    I used to like Billy Crystal years ago so in need of some light relief I thought I'd listen to this. Talk about tiresome! I think maybe if you are a Jewish American baseball fanatic with significant knowledge of the working of the film and TV industry it may resonate more with you but I lost the will to live - which was the opposite of what I was hoping for.

    5 of 7 people found this review helpful
  • Joan O Ireland
    Ireland
    10/7/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Laughed out loud on the train"
    Would you consider the audio edition of Still Foolin' 'Em to be better than the print version?

    Did not buy the print version.


    What other book might you compare Still Foolin' 'Em to, and why?

    Up Till Now


    Which scene did you most enjoy?

    His description of his family now and young life is touching.


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    I like to listen to books over time so it was long enough to enjoy over a few days when I had time. Played it twice.


    Any additional comments?

    The fact that Billy is the narrator is great because it is his own story, so many books are ruined because someone else is putting their slant or accent on them.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Beccy
    8/20/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "More than worth the credit!"

    From a very funny man comes an extremely funny story of his life, what he's experienced and what he learned along the way. Was laughing in the first minute and it only got better from there. I brought this on a whim, not my usual 'listen' but i'm so, pleased i did.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Alison
    United Kingdom
    3/29/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Not what I was expecting..."
    What disappointed you about Still Foolin' 'Em?

    I love Billy Crystal as an actor, still do.


    What was most disappointing about Billy Crystal’s story?

    Not so keen on him as 'him'; too 'in your face' for me from someone who I still think of as Harry...


    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
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