Perfection

By: Julie Metz

Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell

Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins

Publisher's summary

This audio edition includes an exclusive interview with the author.

Julie Metz's life changes forever on one ordinary January afternoon when her husband, Henry, collapses on the kitchen floor and dies in her arms. Suddenly, this mother of a six-year-old is the young widow in a bucolic small town. And this is only the beginning. Seven months after Henry's death, just when Julie thinks she is emerging from the worst of it, comes the rest of it: She discovers that what had appeared to be the reality of her marriage was but a half-truth. Henry had hidden another life from her.

"He loved you so much." That's what everyone keeps telling her. It's true that he loved Julie and their six-year-old daughter ebulliently and devotedly, but as she starts to pick up the pieces and rebuild her life without Henry in it, she learns that Henry had been unfaithful throughout their 12 years of marriage. The most damaging affair was ongoing - a tumultuous relationship that ended only with Henry's death. For Julie, the only thing to do was to get at the real truth - to strip away the veneer of "perfection" that was her life and confront each of the women beneath the veneer.

Perfection is the story of Julie Metz's journey through chaos and transformation as she creates a different life for herself and her young daughter. It is the story of coming to terms with painful truths, of rebuilding both a life and an identity after betrayal and widowhood. It is a story of rebirth and happiness - if not perfection.

©2009 Julie Metz (P)2009 Hyperion

Bold and surprising

The best thing about this memoir is how the author had the nerve to call and interview her husband's mistresses. Which of us doesn't sit up nights peeking at Facebook, wondering about the other woman? Well, listen to this memoir and you can be there with the narrator as she calls and asks questions of her dead husband's many other women. You get to be a fly on the wall and one of the mistresses turns out to be really nice to the wronged wife. This would be good for anyone who's ever wondered, "What did she have that I didn't?" It doesn't answer that question for sure, but the reader begins to realize her husband probably was locked in a cheating spiral that wasn't making him happy, looking for something he couldn't find because he was unhappy with himself. Or something like that--in other words, the other women didn't have something the wife didn't have. The husband wasn't having this happy-go-lucky party while doing all his cheating--he was unhappy and looking for something that could probably never be satisfied.

Compelling

Though at times I found this book and the author frustrating, I couldn't stop listening to it. I always like to hear Cassandra Campbell's voice so that was a big enhancement. But, the subject was also compelling. A couple is married for 16 years, the husband dies very suddenly at 44, and the wife subsequently finds out he was unfaithful...many times over. Some of Julie's behaviors and her "living in denial" are hard to swallow and the book is too long, but Julie's story is engaging.

Learning of Relationship of 10 years just before husband’s death

After 41 year of marriage my husband of 88 passed away. 9 days before he passed he confessed to a 10 year relationship he had with one of our employees. He was very sick and when he told me I had my head in his lap and I immediately said I knew and I forgive you. That was easy in the moment and in his condition. But as I lay in the hospital room on my cot that night my heart broke and my mine begin spinning. I needed to know more about this. I had confronted him years ago and ask sitting in our bed one evening, were they having an affair and he denied it and then sometime later sitting on the beach at our house he again denied. At that moment I made the unhealthy decision to have faith in him and believe his answer. Why didn’t I trust my instinct and ask more questions. In the hospital there were 2 days of my cool reaction to this sick man but then I decided I had no choice but to show my love in what turned out to be his last days. i regret that he told me at this time. I don’t know if it was remorse or for his own need for a confession. But now i am struggling with losing my husband, who was the perfect husband as far as I knew and the lose of what I and our community thought was 2 very devoted people truly living a beautiful happy life. The answer here, trust your instincts and ask questions even if they are difficult and tell what makes you think this is happening.

Dreary and Tedious

This book was like a bad Dr. Phil episode that wouldn't quit. The narrator's voice was flat which added to the dreariness of the narrative. I had to listen to the end to see if Julie Metz had some kind of redeeming epiphany but it was not to be. Having been married successfully to my best friend for almost four decades, I wasn't surprised that her marriage to this self-absorbed man was a failure. There was nothing there to anchor it together in a meaningful way! When you start popping anti-depressants and hide behind motherhood, you're doomed. Julie, I'm sorry you shared this. It may have been cathartic for you but a downer for some of your readers.

Self-indulgent

Would you try another book from Julie Metz and/or Cassandra Campbell?

I found the author's writing about herself and her life to be unaware and self-indulgent. It offered no insight and therefore was not interesting to read. Her stance sounded more like a victim who was getting out her self-pity in a book -- something better left to a private diary that others don't ever read.

The reader was good but it can't make up for poor content. Save yourself time and money. Don't waste your time on this book.

By contrast, the best autobiography I have ever read about someone losing their spouse is called Grace and Grit by Treya and Ken Wilber - an intense read and amazing book!

Enough Already

The book is tedious. Initially her coping with the betrayal of her husband moves things forward. Then we just get stuck in an endless loop. Eventually, you just don't care.