Not My Father's Son

A Memoir

By: Alan Cumming

Narrated by: Alan Cumming

*Read by Alan Cumming himself*

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

In his unique and engaging voice, the acclaimed actor of stage and screen shares the emotional story of his complicated relationship with his father and the deeply buried family secrets that shaped his life and career.

A beloved star of stage, television, and film—“one of the most fun people in show business” (Time magazine)—Alan Cumming is a successful artist whose diversity and fearlessness is unparalleled. His success masks a painful childhood growing up under the heavy rule of an emotionally and physically abusive father—a relationship that tormented him long into adulthood.

When television producers in the UK approached him to appear on a popular celebrity genealogy show in 2010, Alan enthusiastically agreed. He hoped the show would solve a family mystery involving his maternal grandfather, a celebrated WWII hero who disappeared in the Far East. But as the truth of his family ancestors revealed itself, Alan learned far more than he bargained for about himself, his past, and his own father.

With ribald humor, wit, and incredible insight, Alan seamlessly moves back and forth in time, integrating stories from his childhood in Scotland, his experiences today as a film, television, and theater star, and the shocking revelations uncovered while investigating his family’s past. Equal parts memoir, family mystery, and tale of resilience, Not My Father’s Son is at times suspenseful, deeply moving, and wickedly funny—sure to make readers laugh even as it breaks their hearts.

If You've Been Through Something Similar...

I think anyone who listen's to Mr. Cummings memoir will find it hard to stop. For those of us who have experienced an extremely difficult childhood this will prove to be an especially poignant listening experience. I identify with so many of the things he went through and his subsequent reaction both as a child and an adult.

Rest assured, this book is no downer. On the contrary, it is uplifting. Mr. Cummings points out how all of his experiences have contributed to the person he is today. He seems like a funny, talented, and kind soul with a zest for life.

If you already appreciate his work you will love him even more. If you aren't yet familiar with his work, this book will make want to rent his previous films.

Definitely give this one a listen.

An unforgetable, honest, inspirational story!

Would you consider the audio edition of Not My Father's Son: A Memoir to be better than the print version?

Listening to Alan Cumming relate his own story made the telling of abuse, a difficult period of revelation and the triump of spirit; learning to love himself without a father's love; and the love of his brother, mother and partner left a footprint in my heart and soul-forever! Thank-you!Your honesty will heal other victims of abuse!

What about Alan Cumming’s performance did you like?

I was in the moment of rawness, pain, joy and searching from beginning to end. He truly gave us a window into his soul! He stilll managed to provide moments of joy, laughter and gratitude. I hope the book and the reading/telling of the book eased his life and childhood pain. I am glad he found happiness, love and self worth! I will listen and watch any performance he gives! His lovely scottish lilt was musical, with a wide scale of varied, emotional nuances.

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

I listened while I drove for 30-60 minutes at a time. I could not wait to get back to the story. However, I am not sure one could endure all the pain and emotion in one sitting. similar to War and Peace. You have to take a break to continue taking in all the human pathos and emotion! Thank you a million times for the courage you had in bringing your story to print and in also performing the book!

Any additional comments?

I first knew of Alan Cumming from the Good Wife, a politician with a hidden layer of leprochaun and mischief with sparkling, beautiful eyes. He is one of my favorite characters. then I saw his performance on the Tony's of cabaret, so I started looking him up and found out about the book and several of the plays/movies he was written, directed and starred in and about this book. So I started reading and watching all of his work available! I too had a father who created an atmosphere of mental, psychological abuse and Alan was spot on in his descriptions and a life journey to become and believe one is okay! Thanks!

The truth will set you free

The greatest read with the greatest life lessons to be reminded of. It was cathartic for me because I had a mother like his father.
Loved every minute!

A winner all around!

If you could sum up Not My Father's Son: A Memoir in three words, what would they be?

Not the average

What does Alan Cumming bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

He brings his accent and a feeling of place. His voice communicates emotion and warmth and sorrow. I definitely couldn't manufacture all that in my head.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

I'm not an "I laughed! I cried!" kind of person, but did have some very genuine moments of laughter, and some profound sadness as well as a range of other emotions.

Any additional comments?

This is a wonderful glimpse into the personal life of an actor, but not much having to do with the acting world (which is just fine with me - it's NOT a tell all). It's also not just a "no wire hangers!/mommy dearest" kind of book; although there are definitely proverbial wire hangers in his past. It's so much more than all of that. This is a compelling, poignant, and fascinating book, and it would be just as compelling and fascinating had it been of a normal (non-famous) person. The fact that it dovetails in the narrative with the "Who do you think you are" TV show is because Alan is famous, clearly, but the book would stand on its own even if he weren't famous. I was hooked.

Not your usual celeb memoir

This is not like most other celeb memoirs. It’s not about how Cumming became famous. It’s not about how he figured out his sexuality. It’s not about other famous people he knows.

It is about his troubled childhood. It is about coming to grips with a father who was dangerously mentally unbalanced and abusive. It is about how people make excuses for and cover up abuse, how they blame themselves for what is clearly not their fault, and how entire families can be caught up in the lies.

All of which would make for a pretty grim read, but by interspersing “Then” chapters that describe the abuse with “Now” chapters that show how Cumming has reconciled himself to his past and created a happy life for himself, he reassures us that all is not dark and eventually things come out right.

Still, the twists and turns in the narrative were as gripping as any suspense novel and hearing it all read by Cumming in his inimitable Scottish accent made for an excellent listen on a rainy weekend.