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My Horizontal Life Audiobook

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool.
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Publisher's Summary

You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.

©2005 Chelsea Handler; (P)2008 Tantor

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

3.6 (1325 )
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3.7 (760 )
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Performance
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  •  
    M. Dyer TX 01-15-10
    M. Dyer TX 01-15-10 Member Since 2009
    HELPFUL VOTES
    27
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    "Eww"

    I am someone who actually seeks out raunchy humor. I enjoy erotic novels even. But this was painful to listen to! It's NOT funny. Chelsea Handler basically sets out to act like a man-whore and succeeds. Spoiler alert! She sleeps with a lot of random men. Then she complains about their skills and their endowments. But her jokes have all been done before by other comics. If it had been written better, it might have been worth reading. All in all, it came off as a tired, overdone, boring read. It takes a really rare talent to make sex boring. Don't waste your money!

    16 of 26 people found this review helpful
  •  
    DovaSmith 03-05-11
    DovaSmith 03-05-11 Member Since 2013
    HELPFUL VOTES
    5
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    "hilarious!!"

    No holds barred, definitely not for the prude, but funny, funny and funny!! I laughed so hard reading most of this!

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Leah York, PA, United States 11-05-10
    Leah York, PA, United States 11-05-10 Member Since 2010
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Def good listening!"

    I laughed out loud many times and received many stares from strangers when listening to Chelsea's book out in public. I think the book works so much better when the author can read the book. This is so true for this book. I would recommend for a good laugh.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    shelly arp 08-24-10
    shelly arp 08-24-10 Member Since 2012
    HELPFUL VOTES
    3
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    4
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    "If you dont like Chelsea or sex dont read this."

    But..... If you do. YOU WILL LOVE THIS BOOK!! It gives some hilarious insight into her life.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Bradley Cook Camden, AR USA 04-16-16
    Bradley Cook Camden, AR USA 04-16-16 Member Since 2015

    I'm a casual to semi-avid audiobook listener mainly of the biography/memoir category. Some have been great, some awful but all educational.

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    "The book that started it all"
    Would you consider the audio edition of My Horizontal Life to be better than the print version?

    I'm on the fence on this one. If it was narrated by the author I would say definitely, yes but since it's not...eh, this one just comes down to a matter of preference of media.


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    Chelsea Handler, of course! Do we really need to list the reasons? She's hillarious with her dry, politically incorrect, self deprecating, and never take yourself too seriously humor.


    Have you listened to any of Cassandra Campbell’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

    No, and I have no clue. She did a good job as a narrator...but I would have much more preferred the author to have narrated the book herself as she has done with her books since.


    Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    A recurring, uncontrollable urge to laugh out loud.


    Any additional comments?

    Chelsea Handler just writes a great book. She's had an interesting life or creates the illusions of one anyway, depending on how much of the book is true. Either way, I'm glad to have experienced it and I have no doubts that anyone who listens will find something to laugh at. This book being her first, I guess we could call it the book that started it all. The only thing that would have made this book better would have been for Chelsea herself to narrate. The non-Chelsea voice is somewhat off putting at first, but you get over it and quickly get lost in laughter.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    T. Marhal New York, NY 03-20-16
    T. Marhal New York, NY 03-20-16 Member Since 2016

    30-Something NYC Chick

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    "don't do it"

    the narrator sounds like she's on valium. Chelsea Handler says in the book she is a confessed pathological liar, so the majority of the stories - which aren't even that interesting - are likely lies.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Evangeline Lauth 02-10-16
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    "funny book, boring reader"

    I've read this book before and was excited to get it on audio so I could listen to it on a trip with my husband. half way through the 1st chapter my husband said "this can't be Chelsea Handler reading this, it's so boring" there was no emotion behind the person reading and will NOT be getting another book if she is the one reading it. I actually laughed out loud when I read this book myself and never even cracked a smile when listening to it. painful.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Lauren Alexis Oliveira texas 11-28-15 Member Since 2015
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    "I just wish Chelsea had narrated this book as well"

    without her voice, it's just not the same. oh well. maybe she'll come back to it.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Timothy P Richardson 10-26-15 Member Since 2015
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    13
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    "Just gross"

    Not funny. Just tasteless and gross. I'm usually a fan of Handler's humor but this book was a real miss for me.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jamie 10-06-15
    Jamie 10-06-15 Member Since 2015
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    12
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    "love anything Chelsea Handler"

    whats not to love?! Anything with Chelsea Handler makes me literally laugh out loud! I love love love Chelsea Handler :)

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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