Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake

A Memoir of a Woman's Life

By: Anna Quindlen

Narrated by: Anna Quindlen

Length: 7 hrs and 7 mins

Publisher's summary

In this irresistible memoir, the New York Times best-selling author and winner of the Pulitzer Prize Anna Quindlen writes about looking back and ahead - and celebrating it all - as she considers marriage, girlfriends, our mothers, faith, loss, all the stuff in our closets, and more.

As she did in her beloved New York Times columns, and in A Short Guide to a Happy Life, Quindlen says for us here what we may wish we could have said ourselves. Using her past, present, and future to explore what matters most to women at different ages, Quindlen talks about:

Marriage: “A safety net of small white lies can be the bedrock of a successful marriage. You wouldn’t believe how cheaply I can do a kitchen renovation.”

Girlfriends: “Ask any woman how she makes it through the day, and she may mention her calendar, her to-do lists, her babysitter. But if you push her on how she really makes it through her day, she will mention her girlfriends. Sometimes I will see a photo of an actress in an unflattering dress or a blouse too young for her or with a heavy-handed makeup job, and I mutter, ‘She must not have any girlfriends.’”

Stuff: “Here’s what it comes down to, really: there is now so much stuff in my head, so many years, so many memories, that it’s taken the place of primacy away from the things in the bedrooms, on the porch. My doctor says that, contrary to conventional wisdom, she doesn’t believe our memories flag because of a drop in estrogen but because of how crowded it is in the drawers of our minds. Between the stuff at work and the stuff at home, the appointments and the news and the gossip and the rest, the past and the present and the plans for the future, the filing cabinets in our heads are not only full, they’re overflowing.”

Our bodies: “I’ve finally recognized my body for what it is: a personality-delivery system, designed expressly to carry my character from place to place, now and in the years to come. It’s like a car, and while I like a red convertible or even a Bentley as well as the next person, what I really need are four tires and an engine.”

Parenting: “Being a parent is not transactional. We do not get what we give. It is the ultimate pay-it-forward endeavor: We are good parents not so they will be loving enough to stay with us but so they will be strong enough to leave us.”

From childhood memories to manic motherhood to middle age, Quindlen uses the events of her own life to illuminate our own. Along with the downsides of age, she says, can come wisdom, a perspective on life that makes it satisfying and even joyful. Candid, funny, moving, Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake is filled with the sharp insights and revealing observations that have long confirmed Quindlen’s status as America’s laureate of real life.

©2012 Anna Quindlen (P)2012 Random House

Critic reviews

“A reporter by training, a storyteller at heart, [Quindlen’s] writing is personal, humorous, and thought-provoking.” ( Seattle Post-Intelligencer)

“Quindlen is an astonishingly graceful writer.” ( San Francisco Examiner)

“Thank goodness for Anna Quindlen. [She] is smart. And compassionate. And witty. And wise.” ( Detroit Free-Press)

kept rewinding so I could soak it all in

Down to earth and real. I imagined myself at different t stages in life.. the choices I made.. those things I was sooo passionate about that know I hardly raise an eyebrow at. I know I'll listen to this again.

Wonderful book and beautifully read.

What made the experience of listening to Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake the most enjoyable?

Anna Quindlen shares her thoughts on life and on aging. The book is full of wisdom and humour and she reads it so well---I thoroughly enjoyed listening.

Have you listened to any of Anna Quindlen’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

I listened to Black and Blue some years ago---this is a very different book as that one was a novel while Plenty of Cake is Quindlen's memoir. While I liked Black and Blue, I think this is by far the better and deeper book.

Any additional comments?

I highly recommend this audible selection. I'm not usually someone who loves memoirs but I so appreciated Quindlen's thoughtful and intelligent appreciation of life and living.

Fabulous -- Tells the story of my life

I'm about the same age as Anna Quindlen (born in the early 50's), and I could relate to just about everyting she said. Very interesting analysis of the women's movement -- how we got here -- where we are -- and what we still need to do. The only thing I had a problem with was when she talked about our generation having to take care of our parents, and the idea that we shouldn't "become the parents" and tell them it's time to move into assisted living. She argues that they are adults and have the right to make their own decision. It's obvious she never had to make this decision (her own mother died when she was a young woman). She also wants to live right up until the end and then die peacefully in her sleep. Well.... who doesn't???!!! But it was a wonderful, wonderful book, and I really enjoyed listening to it. Not sure if it would appeal to other genders/generations, but it sure hit the mark with me.

This is a truly wonderful book!

Some chapters are better than others, but at least four or five chapters are outstanding, insightful, and powerfully moving.

Amazing at any age!

Still being new to my 40s I didn't know how much of Anna's book I'd relate to. I'm thrilled to say not only could I relate, but her wisdom and honesty of the future have given me a new sense of joy for all of it.
FINALLY a voice focusing on all the good in aging & choosing not to dwell on the bad. Anna does an amazing job covering it all, with sorrow, humor, joy and all with truth and transparency.
While Anna & I don't align on religion or other areas, Anna does an exquisite job of making every reader feel included, seen & heard. I found her thoughts on the past, both mistakes & joys enlightening.
My favorite parts of her book were the ones where she embraces being where she is, at any given age & finds the good, the blessing, the joy. Yes, of course there are aspects that aren't amazing, but she doesn't dwell on them, she allows them to change her, help her grow and she moves on.
It was truly refreshing to hear someone love her age, love her body, love her life and really mean it!
I loved reading Anna's book so much I asked my mom to buy a copy & read it so we could discuss it. I want to hear my mom's journeys through life, aging, friendship, etc and all the ways she relates & differs from Anna's. What a gift to have a book generations apart can read together.

Thank you Anna!

Introspection in Living Color

Any additional comments?

From a reader who's saved Quindlen's "The Good Enough Mother" in my documents so I can send it to frazzled moms, I treasure her homespun revelations. The author's narration is so clear and heartfelt that we could have been sharing life's milestones over coffee at my kitchen table.

She captured us beautifully

If you could sum up Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake in three words, what would they be?

She got it!

What was one of the most memorable moments of Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake?

Being able to relive the journey from college to today with such insight was so reassuring.

What does Anna Quindlen bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

I am more articulate about our legacy.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

. . . and looking forward to more.

Perfect Read

Highly recommend to 30 ish year old women who don't have that many older women in her life to get this kind of advice from. I love talking to older women that are willing to share about their ups and downs and turns along the way, fascinating.

Like a good visit over tea.

Would you listen to Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake again? Why?

Yes, in a year or so. Good visit

What other book might you compare Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake to and why?

N/A

What does Anna Quindlen bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

N/A

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

Yes, many. But I would need to look at my notes to post them

Any additional comments?

N/A

Don't miss! Absolutely quotable!

Where does Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

Number one

Who was your favorite character and why?

It's a memoir

What does Anna Quindlen bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

Her voice and accent threw me at first, but you couldn't help feeling her personal connection to the words she was reciting.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

Hard to choose... I like the idea of death described as a bird flying away, leaving the cage behind.

Any additional comments?

Prepare yourself for her thoughts on Catholicism if you are a catholic! Good to think about, hard to hear.