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I Don’t Care about Your Band Audiobook

I Don’t Care about Your Band: What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I’ve Dated

In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care about Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love - and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage. I Don't Care about Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls.
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Publisher's Summary

In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care about Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love - and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage.

I Don't Care about Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls who grew up in the shadow of feminism, thinking they could have everything, but end up compromising constantly. The cowards, the kidults, the critics, and the contenders: these are the stars of Klausner's memoir about how hard it is to find a man - good or otherwise - when you're a cynical grown-up exiled in the dregs of Guyville.

Off the popularity of her New York Times "Modern Love" piece about getting the brush-off from an indie rock musician, I Don't Care about Your Band is marbled with the wry strains of Julie Klausner's precocious curmudgeonry and brimming with truths that anyone who's ever been on a date will relate to. Klausner is an expert at landing herself waist-deep in crazy, time and time again, in part because her experience as a comedy writer (Best Week Ever, "TV Funhouse" on SNL) and sketch comedian from NYC's Upright Citizens Brigade fuels her philosophy of how any scene should unfold, which is, "What? That sounds crazy? Okay, I'll do it."

I Don't Care about Your Band charts a distinctly human journey of a strong-willed but vulnerable protagonist who loves men like it's her job, but who's done with guys who know more about love songs than love. Klausner's is a new outlook on dating in a time of pop culture obsession, and she spent her 20s doing personal field research to back up her philosophies. This is the girl's version of High Fidelity.

By turns explicit, funny, and moving, Klausner's debut shows the evolution of a young woman who endured myriad encounters with the wrong guys, to emerge with real- world wisdom on matters of the heart. I Don't Care about Your Band is Julie Klausner's manifesto, and every one of us can relate.

©2010 Julie Klausner (P)2012 Audible, Inc.

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

3.7 (211 )
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4.1 (194 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Elisa Hong Kong, Hong Kong 01-11-13
    Elisa Hong Kong, Hong Kong 01-11-13 Member Since 2007

    I'll give everything a try

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "i don't know what to say"
    Any additional comments?

    i first downloaded this to get a few laughs. And in the beginning, I wasn't too disappointed.

    Then, it changed. I was hoping for wild mishap dating experiences, and instead, I got long rants on how bad the guys were. I couldn't finish it.

    2 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    LadyArcane 01-01-13
    LadyArcane 01-01-13
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    "Freakin' Hilarious!!"
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    I'd definitely recommend this book to any world-weary single friends exhausted from the frustrating front lines of dating.


    Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    Laugh - I also really loved her Gen X pop culture references. Makes you feel as if she's talking to you directly.


    Any additional comments?

    I will definitely subscribe to her iTunes podcast-she's funny, honest, intelligent and cool.

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Susie Santa Cruz, CA, United States 01-03-13
    Susie Santa Cruz, CA, United States 01-03-13 Member Since 2012

    I'm Audible's first Editor-at-Large, the host of In Bed with Susie Bright -- and a longtime author, editor, journo, and bookworm. I listen to audio when I'm cooking, playing cards, knitting, going to bed, waking up, driving, and putting other people's kids to bed! My favorite audiobooks, ever, are: "True Grit" and "The Dog of the South."

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    "Catnip for the Dating Disaster Set"

    This is a memoir to take to bed and not get up 'til you've heard the the very end.

    Poor Julie dated too many jerks in sensitive sheep's clothing— but my god, they provided her a wealth of material: the long-distance internet crushes, the BF fixated on a threesome, and Colin, the vegan, who only liked the taste of his own semen.

    This book is pure porn for people who delight in dating disaster stories (who, me?).

    1 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Debra Garfinkle 09-08-13

    author of books for teens and children

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    "Painfully Honest and Funny"

    Listening to this book made me grateful I'm married, because most of the guys Klausner dated seem like creeps and/or weirdos. I appreciated her honesty as she talked about sexual positions, sexual kinks, sexual diseases, and other topics most people keep private. While I didn't agree with some of Klausner's choices in life, I found her entertaining and funny and rooted for her to find a good guy or at least to stop sleeping with the bad ones.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Beverly Flovilla, Georgia, United States 05-31-13
    Beverly Flovilla, Georgia, United States 05-31-13 Member Since 2012

    Hello! I'm a full-time nurse, part-time reader, chef, gardener and stylist! Love all my hobbies. Oh, and mother to Marley (shih-tzu) and Sam

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    "Still Laughing!"

    Okay, I didn't know what to expect when I bought this book, so I just took a chance. In the beginning, I thought, hmm, not sure about this book. But after a couple of chapters, I was totally laughing out loud! I would listen in my car on my way to work and have tears of laughter rolling down my face. Then when at work, I would share bits of the book with my friends and force them to listen to parts of it at lunch. The humor is so similar to that shared by my friends and me.
    I also loved that the author reads this book. Usually I don't like author read books, but this time, hearing her story in her voice made all the difference.
    Now, I cannot stress this enough, if you are a prude in any way, do not listen to this book, it will surely offend you. But if you roll with the punches and enjoy true and honest tales that are told with brilliant humor, you will love this book.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Eden Shapiro AUSTIN, TEXAS, US 02-12-13
    Eden Shapiro AUSTIN, TEXAS, US 02-12-13 Member Since 2015
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    "Very Funny"

    This is a wonderful listen. I love when audiobooks are read by the authors, if done well, and in this case Julie Klausner does a beautiful job of narrating. She is so funny-- I have told all my friends to read it. Definitely a girl's book though. It really spoke to me, I could relate to SO many of her sentiments on dating. I will probably listen again at some point!!

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    amar Berlin, Germany 01-11-13
    amar Berlin, Germany 01-11-13
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    "not good"

    not a good good good book. audible is generally good good good good. not not good.

    1 of 4 people found this review helpful

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