In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care about Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love - and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage.
I Don't Care about Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls who grew up in the shadow of feminism, thinking they could have everything, but end up compromising constantly. The cowards, the kidults, the critics, and the contenders: these are the stars of Klausner's memoir about how hard it is to find a man - good or otherwise - when you're a cynical grown-up exiled in the dregs of Guyville.
Off the popularity of her New York Times "Modern Love" piece about getting the brush-off from an indie rock musician, I Don't Care about Your Band is marbled with the wry strains of Julie Klausner's precocious curmudgeonry and brimming with truths that anyone who's ever been on a date will relate to. Klausner is an expert at landing herself waist-deep in crazy, time and time again, in part because her experience as a comedy writer (Best Week Ever, "TV Funhouse" on SNL) and sketch comedian from NYC's Upright Citizens Brigade fuels her philosophy of how any scene should unfold, which is, "What? That sounds crazy? Okay, I'll do it."
I Don't Care about Your Band charts a distinctly human journey of a strong-willed but vulnerable protagonist who loves men like it's her job, but who's done with guys who know more about love songs than love. Klausner's is a new outlook on dating in a time of pop culture obsession, and she spent her 20s doing personal field research to back up her philosophies. This is the girl's version of High Fidelity.
By turns explicit, funny, and moving, Klausner's debut shows the evolution of a young woman who endured myriad encounters with the wrong guys, to emerge with real- world wisdom on matters of the heart. I Don't Care about Your Band is Julie Klausner's manifesto, and every one of us can relate.
©2010 Julie Klausner (P)2012 Audible, Inc.
The author begins the book with, "I love men so much that I've never once considered what it would be like to take a break from dating them or to focus my mind on other things besides falling in love with one or to look for work in a field that is more female dominated or anything else lesbians suggest you do after a guy breaks your heart".
The author categorizes any woman who doesn't make dating a priority as a "lesbian" and then speaks about lesbians as if they are evil doers trying to pry women away from men.
If she would have choked during the first few minutes of reading it.
Don't waste your time or money.
At the beginning I thought I would, and I enjoyed myself until about chapter 5 or 6. After that point, I realized that Julie Klausner would be A LOT funnier and her stories would be much more compelling if she weren't such a one-way BITCH! No, I would not recommend this book to my friends because it was a tiresome account of what was wrong with everyone JK dated (or tried to date) with very little, if any, empathy for these characters; A woe-is-me type tale of all the ways she is smarter than and better than the men she sets herself up for. This, of course, being her one downfall. POOOOR Julie! Uggghhh.
She read well, but I was so irritated by her superiority complex only loosely masked by the theme of "oh, look what losers I choose" that I could barely finish this one.
JK is obviously bright and some of these stories *might* be funny if told differently. They are not really that crazy and none of them are that raunchy except for her language choices. (which don't offend me by any means- it's just funny to see what she says to get a reaction from readers/listeners). She has to try pretty hard to make most of the stories interesting, honestly. I know a ton of women who have much funnier, more interesting, dirtier dating stories... whatever you want. These stories just don't go anywhere!!! She dates boring or "loser-ish" guys and by and large, most of them don't like her that much. The problem is that she is so unbelievably mean, rude and unsympathetic to the characters she describes in her re-telling of the events. Who wants to hear 6 hours of a bitch fest from a girl that needs to do some soul searching before she does more writing? Please, Julie... If you can't have more empathy with your characters before you write about them... let alone (fuck) them or (blow) them, then think about how your poor parents must feel listening to this.
I absolutely loved this book! I think once I got used to Julie Klausner's talk about sex, sex and sex, things got really interesting and I was hooked! I don't remember ever being bored and her narration was filled with the right amount of energy that it felt like she was casually telling you about her life. I would like to say that the story was more about her sex life than I expected without any details left out. If you don't like profanity and swearwords this book may not be so entertaining for you but I loved it.
For the record I have no idea who she is, I just thought the story seemed fascinating and her narrating good. However, sometimes I would remind myself that the people she talk about are real and not fictional characters. She is pretty ruthless about them and at times very rude! But nevertheless I was very entertained and don't regret purchasing it at all.
If you are easily offended by swear words and raunchy, explicit sex talk, this book is not for you. Maybe I am a little too old to be reading this (mid-forties). I just thought it would be funnier than it was. Did not find it laugh out loud funny. I found her stories to be more pathetic than anything.
She reads well. I'm sure she can tell a good story.
The vulgar parts.
I think it's a generational thing. I don't relate to this particualr context. Maybe the 25 to 35 would relate better. Also, if I wanted to hear the vulgar words to describe the acts of sex, I would have read erotica. I just cringed when out of nowhere I'd get hit by something
I’m not sure if it is the colorful use of language that gets me on this or the raw tell it like it was story that compelled me to suck in every word. I have recommend this to both my friends at the risk of them asking “are you taking non-prescription drugs?” and have adopted some of the terms Julie uses as my own. (I think I only need to credit the author twice in conversations, that’s right isn’t it?) There are important messages for a blossoming young woman buried beneath the hilarious commentary. I give this book 10/10 rubber chickens and say well done Julie you are actually pretty funny!
I liked the anecdotes. The stories were cohesive, relevant and nostalgic. I don't think I stopped the audiobook once I pressed Play.
Talking about her connection to Miss Piggy.
I have not.
I have laughed in places, but I couldn't point to any specific passage. The story is more of one that makes me think that my life isn't the greatest, but it isn't so bad, either.
Brazenly honest and hysterically funny.
Bravo! This book speaks to so many truths (women) we are not allowed to admit. One of the most entertaining and touching books I have read. Thank you.
Totally! I came to Julie Klausner through her podcast, which starts with a witty and insightful monologue. In a way, this book feels like her very best and funniest monologues playing one after the other after the other.
I read the book a year or so ago, and enjoyed it to be sure, but her writing is so polished that it almost didn't seem as personal or something. Sort of the way David Sedaris' stories are so sublime but because they are so well told, you lose the sense of his participation in those events. But her reading of her own material about her own life had such feeling behind it. You realize that not only has she crafted a great telling of a story, but she's lived these events too.
Yes and I very nearly did.
I want another ten books from Miss Klausner at her convenience
This is such a true story it almost hurts - yet feels so good at the same time. I know so many women who can relate, including myself, and it's an amazing achievement to manage to write about sex and still make it fresh, true, and relevant. Bravo. More funny, awkward, feminist shit like this, pleeeease!
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