In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care about Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love - and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage.
I Don't Care about Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls who grew up in the shadow of feminism, thinking they could have everything, but end up compromising constantly. The cowards, the kidults, the critics, and the contenders: these are the stars of Klausner's memoir about how hard it is to find a man - good or otherwise - when you're a cynical grown-up exiled in the dregs of Guyville.
Off the popularity of her New York Times "Modern Love" piece about getting the brush-off from an indie rock musician, I Don't Care about Your Band is marbled with the wry strains of Julie Klausner's precocious curmudgeonry and brimming with truths that anyone who's ever been on a date will relate to. Klausner is an expert at landing herself waist-deep in crazy, time and time again, in part because her experience as a comedy writer (Best Week Ever, "TV Funhouse" on SNL) and sketch comedian from NYC's Upright Citizens Brigade fuels her philosophy of how any scene should unfold, which is, "What? That sounds crazy? Okay, I'll do it."
I Don't Care about Your Band charts a distinctly human journey of a strong-willed but vulnerable protagonist who loves men like it's her job, but who's done with guys who know more about love songs than love. Klausner's is a new outlook on dating in a time of pop culture obsession, and she spent her 20s doing personal field research to back up her philosophies. This is the girl's version of High Fidelity.
By turns explicit, funny, and moving, Klausner's debut shows the evolution of a young woman who endured myriad encounters with the wrong guys, to emerge with real- world wisdom on matters of the heart. I Don't Care about Your Band is Julie Klausner's manifesto, and every one of us can relate.
©2010 Julie Klausner (P)2012 Audible, Inc.
The author begins the book with, "I love men so much that I've never once considered what it would be like to take a break from dating them or to focus my mind on other things besides falling in love with one or to look for work in a field that is more female dominated or anything else lesbians suggest you do after a guy breaks your heart".
The author categorizes any woman who doesn't make dating a priority as a "lesbian" and then speaks about lesbians as if they are evil doers trying to pry women away from men.
If she would have choked during the first few minutes of reading it.
Don't waste your time or money.
I absolutely loved this book! I think once I got used to Julie Klausner's talk about sex, sex and sex, things got really interesting and I was hooked! I don't remember ever being bored and her narration was filled with the right amount of energy that it felt like she was casually telling you about her life. I would like to say that the story was more about her sex life than I expected without any details left out. If you don't like profanity and swearwords this book may not be so entertaining for you but I loved it.
For the record I have no idea who she is, I just thought the story seemed fascinating and her narrating good. However, sometimes I would remind myself that the people she talk about are real and not fictional characters. She is pretty ruthless about them and at times very rude! But nevertheless I was very entertained and don't regret purchasing it at all.
She reads well. I'm sure she can tell a good story.
The vulgar parts.
I think it's a generational thing. I don't relate to this particualr context. Maybe the 25 to 35 would relate better. Also, if I wanted to hear the vulgar words to describe the acts of sex, I would have read erotica. I just cringed when out of nowhere I'd get hit by something
I’m not sure if it is the colorful use of language that gets me on this or the raw tell it like it was story that compelled me to suck in every word. I have recommend this to both my friends at the risk of them asking “are you taking non-prescription drugs?” and have adopted some of the terms Julie uses as my own. (I think I only need to credit the author twice in conversations, that’s right isn’t it?) There are important messages for a blossoming young woman buried beneath the hilarious commentary. I give this book 10/10 rubber chickens and say well done Julie you are actually pretty funny!
I liked the anecdotes. The stories were cohesive, relevant and nostalgic. I don't think I stopped the audiobook once I pressed Play.
Talking about her connection to Miss Piggy.
I have not.
I have laughed in places, but I couldn't point to any specific passage. The story is more of one that makes me think that my life isn't the greatest, but it isn't so bad, either.
Brazenly honest and hysterically funny.
Bravo! This book speaks to so many truths (women) we are not allowed to admit. One of the most entertaining and touching books I have read. Thank you.
Totally! I came to Julie Klausner through her podcast, which starts with a witty and insightful monologue. In a way, this book feels like her very best and funniest monologues playing one after the other after the other.
I read the book a year or so ago, and enjoyed it to be sure, but her writing is so polished that it almost didn't seem as personal or something. Sort of the way David Sedaris' stories are so sublime but because they are so well told, you lose the sense of his participation in those events. But her reading of her own material about her own life had such feeling behind it. You realize that not only has she crafted a great telling of a story, but she's lived these events too.
Yes and I very nearly did.
I want another ten books from Miss Klausner at her convenience
This is such a true story it almost hurts - yet feels so good at the same time. I know so many women who can relate, including myself, and it's an amazing achievement to manage to write about sex and still make it fresh, true, and relevant. Bravo. More funny, awkward, feminist shit like this, pleeeease!
I'll give everything a try
i first downloaded this to get a few laughs. And in the beginning, I wasn't too disappointed.
Then, it changed. I was hoping for wild mishap dating experiences, and instead, I got long rants on how bad the guys were. I couldn't finish it.
I'm Audible's first Editor-at-Large, the host of In Bed with Susie Bright -- and a longtime author, editor, journo, and bookworm. I listen to audio when I'm cooking, playing cards, knitting, going to bed, waking up, driving, and putting other people's kids to bed! My favorite audiobooks, ever, are: "True Grit" and "The Dog of the South."
This is a memoir to take to bed and not get up 'til you've heard the the very end.
Poor Julie dated too many jerks in sensitive sheep's clothing— but my god, they provided her a wealth of material: the long-distance internet crushes, the BF fixated on a threesome, and Colin, the vegan, who only liked the taste of his own semen.
This book is pure porn for people who delight in dating disaster stories (who, me?).
There are no listener reviews for this title yet.
Report Inappropriate Content
If you find this review inappropriate and think it should be removed from our site, let us know. This report will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.