• How to Be Married

  • What I Learned from Real Women on Five Continents About Surviving My First (Really Hard) Year of Marriage
  • By: Jo Piazza
  • Narrated by: Jo Piazza
  • Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
  • 4.4 out of 5 stars (202 ratings)

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How to Be Married  By  cover art

How to Be Married

By: Jo Piazza
Narrated by: Jo Piazza
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Publisher's summary

Everyone tells you marriage is hard, but no one tells you what to do about it.

At age 34 Jo Piazza got her romantic-comedy ending when she met the man of her dreams on a boat in the Galápagos Islands and was engaged three months later. But before long Jo found herself riddled with questions. How do you make a marriage work in a world where you no longer need to be married? How does an independent, strong-willed feminist become someone's partner - all the time?

In the tradition of writers such as Nora Ephron and Elizabeth Gilbert, award-winning journalist and nationally best-selling author Jo Piazza writes a provocative memoir of a real first year of marriage that will forever change the way we look at matrimony.

A travel editor constantly on the move, Jo journeys to 20 countries on five continents to figure out what modern marriage means. Throughout this stunning, funny, warm, and wise personal narrative, she gleans wisdom from matrilineal tribeswomen, French ladies who lunch, Orthodox Jewish moms, Swedish stay-at-home dads, polygamous warriors, and Dutch prostitutes.

Written with refreshing candor, elegant prose, astute reporting, and hilarious insight into the human psyche, How to Be Married offers an honest portrait of an utterly charming couple. When life throws more at them than they ever expected - a terrifying health diagnosis, sick parents to care for, unemployment - they ultimately create a fresh understanding of what it means to be equal partners during the good and bad times. Through their journey, they reveal a framework that will help the rest of us keep our marriages strong, from engagement into the newlywed years and beyond.

©2017 Jo Piazza (P)2017 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

"Newlyweds and couples looking to jump-start a foundering relationship will find Piazza's analysis of marriage useful, amusing, and engaging." ( Kirkus)
"Whether she's finding hygge in Denmark or climbing Kilimanjaro, Piazza writes with candid honesty, wit, and humor. This quick-paced and relatable book will be immensely helpful for longtime and newly married people alike." ( Booklist)
"Piazza's insights for creating a successful marriage from the very beginning provides life-changing lessons for anyone getting married or considering marriage." (John Gray PhD, the number one New York Times best-selling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus)

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What listeners say about How to Be Married

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Generally helpful

Overall, this book passed the time easily. I thought the advice she got from different couples across the world was always very interesting, and enjoyed how she drew aspects of that advice into her own relationship. I did get a little annoyed at the narration, which felt very upper class, white, privileged-feminist, but that was more of a personality thing. At times, I felt like there was cultural appropriation going on which distracted me from what she was trying to say and I got hung up on it. At the same time I could tell she was trying to be sensitive to those issues and I appreciated her ability to ask questions and be candid in travel. Overall, I enjoyed it, and found the broad range of advice given very helpful and introspective.

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4 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Wished for a professional narrator

While I realize this book is very personal, a bit memoir, it took me a while to get over the fact that it was being read by the author, not a professional voice performer. I found the “I’m obviously reading to you” voice distracting and annoying. But I did enjoy the story.

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Wonderful advice, like talking to your

well traveled friend and I loved it! I too didn't have good role models for marriage or family. I moved away from home long ago and somehow thought "my prince" was a messy fairytale trick. Then I met him in London on a trip and my world changed fast. I realized I had no idea how anything past a "boyfriend" material is supposed to be handled. Terrified my inner "warrior princess" that doesnt understand marriage could help me bungle this. I was nervous I was missing something and had no one to ask (embarrassing). This book was calming to me. I am not alone. The advice is priceless! Take it or leave it but the different views on age old problems is worth every minute.

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2 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Must Read for Married (or soon-to-be) People.

This book is full of insightful tidbits. It left me feeling solidarity with all married people for the real, hard, wonderful and imperfection of marriage.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

So fun to listen to

Love the storytelling and honesty in this book. The author did a great job reading it.

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  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
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I would have giving zero stars

This author is tiresome to listen to and I found myself just annoyed while listening. The idea of traveling to other cultures had me very interested but there is very little of that and too much of author.

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Ignore the audio sample

I purchased this because the audio sample made is sound like it would be a book about a woman coming to terms with her illness and discovering how to feel worthy in a relationship when she is slowly losing bits of health. The title is a much better indicator of the books contents. For better or worse this is a book written by a young person about being married. More accurately it it's a book by a young person about being married ONE year. I wasn't in love with the voice of the book but I was expecting a different book when I purchased this. It's a bit more of an ironic magazine article voice than a deep confession. The most interesting thing from the book was when she explored a matriarchal community in India which had less to do with marriage and more to do with just how to make decisions.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Really enjoyed this book

Jo’s realistic perspective on marriage impacted my expectations in the best way. I love the travel aspect, narration, and collective lessons learned.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Loved it!

I’m a newly wed and listened while wedding planning. I loved the outlook on relationships/marriage in other countries. Lots of good advice for life in general! Easy and fast listen.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Chapters on culture in other countries interesting

The memoir parts not as much.
Appreciate the author’s work and concept.
The reading was hard to listen to and somehow made the story less relatable - perhaps another reader might have rendered it more accessibly.

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