Happy Endings

The Tales of a Meaty-Breasted Zilch

By: Jim Norton

Narrated by: Jim Norton

Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins

Publisher's summary

Comedian Jim Norton is dirty...really dirty...the kind of dirty that makes The Aristocrats look like a knock-knock joke. Fortunately for him, his kind of dirty humor has earned him the distinction of being third microphone on the immensely popular Opie & Anthony syndicated radio show. In Happy Endings, Jim brings his raw, hilarious, and offensively honest comedy to Audible® listeners.

Jim will discuss everything from his affinity for hookers to stalking Black Sabbath and Alan Alda to always getting stuck with the hot girl's fat friend. He will share some of his experiences with Opie and Anthony, including his arrest on the infamous Voyeur Bus (a bus filled with naked girls that drove around Manhattan flashing passers-by). Many more heartwarming stories will be included in what is sure to be the most controversial title of 2007.

In addition to being a regular on the Opie & Anthony Show, Norton sells out comedy shows across the country. He starred on the recent HBO series Lucky Louie and was a regular on Comedy Central's Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. He has appeared on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, The Late Show with David Letterman, and other national shows.

Norton had this to say about his forthcoming title: "It's ironic that many of the stories revolve around prostitution, because that's where all proceeds from this...will be going. Actually, that's probably more disgusting and creepy than ironic."

Explicit Language Warning: You must be 18 years or older to purchase.

©2007 Jim Norton. All rights reserved (P)2007 Simon and Schuster Inc. All rights reserved.

Monster RAIN!!!!!!!!!!

An absolutely magnificent listen. Nothing like hearing the raunchy and cringing stories of Jim Norton read by Yimmy. You will not be disappointed by your purchase of this audio book.

I love little Jimmy

vile, offensive, and wonderful. Exactly what I wanted out of this book. Actually LOL'D. Good show sir.

Great for a Norton fan

Great for a fan of Jim Norton I highly recommend this audiobook for almost anyone.

I like this book more than exclamation points!!!!!

This book is so much funnier than the comic strip Howard Huge, that I give it a Big A! James makes it his dooty to make us loff, again and again, so much it gives me the twitchels. E-Rocks! I can't wait to listen to the rest, but the first 7 minutes have been great! If I had a Nicolini for every time I LOL'd, I'd be a fancy man....................... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I can only sum up with one word: Frunkus (which means "Meow" in the ancient Norden dialect).

Manboobs is funny.

funny book by a sex addict maniac . one laughs interrupted only by occasional vomiting in the mouth from nightmare -inducing head -shaking stories of sex, farting , whores and other perverse gluttony .

Still great

I bought this book when it first came out and enjoyed, however I hadn't read it since then so I picked it up as an audiobook and it's great, a really fun read. I was worried that it would be the same stories I've heard and while that is true to some extent, it's not nearly as repetitive as I was thinking it would be. If you like Norton, or you're an old O&A fan, you can't go here, you get over 5 hours of entertainment from Jimmy.

Inane babblings of a raunch comic looking for love

I can't believe this guy could even read a book let alone write one, but here it is. Having the author read the book to me was a special experience, especially since I usually listened to it while sitting at my desk at work. Picturing him under the porch performing oral favors for his little friends, when he was younger, made me giggle like a schoolgirl.

From time to time I'd get caught by coworkers actually laughing out loud, or saying something like "I can't believe he said that". If you're expecting it to be funny you'll be severely disappointed. His book is nothing like his stand-up act. His act is actually pretty funny. The book, on the other hand, and especially his reading of it, really made me feel sorry for him.

I hope he finally realizes that he's been looking for love on the wrong side gym floor. It's obvious to probably everyone but him, that he gets much more sexual gratification from the company of men, than anything he gets from the women in his life; and that includes all the professionals he turns to, some of whom are really men dressed as women. (a fact he pretends not to be aware of) He's spent his entire adult life trying to accept his love of penis. Even when he's with a woman, pro or otherwise, he usually has to finish up on his own, because he can't finish unless he's touching one. It's high time he started to enjoy life, and started dancing in the Monster Rain.

creative mastermind

Really funny, this sick little perverts mind goes beyond anything I could imagine, good stories about being a mediocre comic with less interesting friends. A need to spill seed like it's the only thing keeping him alive and the weirdest fantasized exploits EVER satisfying beyond reason. Thanks to lil Jimmy, Ted Sheckler, Earl, Uncle Paul and the rest.

Funniest book ever

Great book. Must be one of the sickest heads in this world. Laught my as off through the hole story.. Absolutely recommended!!

Pretty Much What I Expected

The story Jim Norton tells in this book is as I expected, being a listener of Opie & Anthony. Norton does not hide behind anything in this book, his stories are graphic, personal, and filled with a lot of self-deprecation. He's a great narrator, I couldn't imagine anyone else reading his story, and he does a great job presenting the stories. If you are a fan of his stand-up, I recommend the book.