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Happy Endings: The Tales of a Meaty-Breasted Zilch | [Jim Norton]

Happy Endings: The Tales of a Meaty-Breasted Zilch

Comedian Jim Norton is dirty...really dirty...the kind of dirty that makes The Aristocrats look like a knock-knock joke. Fortunately for him, his kind of dirty humor has earned him the distinction of being third microphone on the immensely popular Opie & Anthony syndicated radio show. In Happy Endings, Jim brings his raw, hilarious, and offensively honest comedy to AudibleĀ® listeners.
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Publisher's Summary

Comedian Jim Norton is dirty...really dirty...the kind of dirty that makes The Aristocrats look like a knock-knock joke. Fortunately for him, his kind of dirty humor has earned him the distinction of being third microphone on the immensely popular Opie & Anthony syndicated radio show. In Happy Endings, Jim brings his raw, hilarious, and offensively honest comedy to AudibleĀ® listeners.

Jim will discuss everything from his affinity for hookers to stalking Black Sabbath and Alan Alda to always getting stuck with the hot girl's fat friend. He will share some of his experiences with Opie and Anthony, including his arrest on the infamous Voyeur Bus (a bus filled with naked girls that drove around Manhattan flashing passers-by). Many more heartwarming stories will be included in what is sure to be the most controversial title of 2007.

In addition to being a regular on the Opie & Anthony Show, Norton sells out comedy shows across the country. He starred on the recent HBO series Lucky Louie and was a regular on Comedy Central's Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. He has appeared on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, The Late Show with David Letterman, and other national shows.

Norton had this to say about his forthcoming title: "It's ironic that many of the stories revolve around prostitution, because that's where all proceeds from this...will be going. Actually, that's probably more disgusting and creepy than ironic."

Explicit Language Warning: You must be 18 years or older to purchase.

©2007 Jim Norton. All rights reserved; (P)2007 Simon and Schuster Inc. All rights reserved.

What Members Say

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  •  
    John East Haven, CT, USA 10-26-08
    John East Haven, CT, USA 10-26-08
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    2
    1
    Overall
    "Inane babblings of a raunch comic looking for love"

    I can't believe this guy could even read a book let alone write one, but here it is. Having the author read the book to me was a special experience, especially since I usually listened to it while sitting at my desk at work. Picturing him under the porch performing oral favors for his little friends, when he was younger, made me giggle like a schoolgirl.

    From time to time I'd get caught by coworkers actually laughing out loud, or saying something like "I can't believe he said that". If you're expecting it to be funny you'll be severely disappointed. His book is nothing like his stand-up act. His act is actually pretty funny. The book, on the other hand, and especially his reading of it, really made me feel sorry for him.

    I hope he finally realizes that he's been looking for love on the wrong side gym floor. It's obvious to probably everyone but him, that he gets much more sexual gratification from the company of men, than anything he gets from the women in his life; and that includes all the professionals he turns to, some of whom are really men dressed as women. (a fact he pretends not to be aware of) He's spent his entire adult life trying to accept his love of penis. Even when he's with a woman, pro or otherwise, he usually has to finish up on his own, because he can't finish unless he's touching one. It's high time he started to enjoy life, and started dancing in the Monster Rain.

    0 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Erich Auckland Park, South Africa 01-31-08
    Erich Auckland Park, South Africa 01-31-08

    Speaker, Leader, innovation consultant, kilt-wearer, South African.

    HELPFUL VOTES
    36
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    25
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    "This just isn't funny."

    I'm not American, so maybe that's why I find this book the opposite of funny. It's just a self-conscious rant about masturbation and prostitution. It's sad, is all. It's not even offensive. Just sad.

    2 of 13 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Eric Vanasse Montreal, Canada 08-31-07
    Eric Vanasse Montreal, Canada 08-31-07 Member Since 2005
    HELPFUL VOTES
    31
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    76
    5
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    "Happy Endings for a sad author"

    If it wasn't for the implicit violence toward women I would just feel sorry for this guy. He can be funny for a little while - if you like self-deprecatory or toilet humor - but down the road he has become so used to telling brutal jokes about women that he appears to have become desensitized, something that hopefully will not happen to his listeners. Try David Sedaris instead.

    0 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Trent ELDON, MO, USA 09-06-07
    Trent ELDON, MO, USA 09-06-07 Member Since 2008
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    235
    1
    Overall
    "Not so happy end"

    I don't consider myself a prude but I can only describe this book as nasty and vulgar with loads of false self-abjection. I don't enjoy bitter unhappy people trying to be funny. Even though I did laugh about 3 times- but not out loud.

    0 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Cheryl-Ann 08-20-07
    Cheryl-Ann 08-20-07
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    65
    1
    Overall
    "Kind of pathetic"

    You would think that a fan of O&A and li'l Jimmy would love an opportunity to hear Jim tell his tales uninterrupted, but these stories are often pathetic and pointless. A rare "ha" was all i could squeeze out of these redundant anecdotes. Unfortunately, it's simply not the laugh riot it's touted to be.

    0 of 6 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Peter Banyule, Australia 08-16-07
    Peter Banyule, Australia 08-16-07 Member Since 2012
    HELPFUL VOTES
    9
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    64
    7
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    "Poor. Save your money."

    I don't mind a good dirty joke and liberal amounts of smut if it's funny. This book has plenty of smut, bad language and some attempted dirty jokes but overall I did not find this book very humorous.

    If you like adolescent humor and liberal amounts of the "f" and "c" words in a humorless context then you may like this but I doubt it.

    Just not my type of humor I guess.

    My recommendation is save your money.

    0 of 6 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Betty Lititz, PA, United States 10-17-07
    Betty Lititz, PA, United States 10-17-07 Member Since 2007
    HELPFUL VOTES
    6
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    11
    4
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    "Adolescent Humor"

    Possibly a great book if you’re 13-years old --- an adolescent attempt at boorish humor that’s not funny. I gather that most of the materials were a rehash of his comedy club skits or TV stints. I’ve never been to a comedy club and after listening to a small part of this audio, I’m definitely not interested in going to one.
    I kept asking myself why did I spend money for this stupid audio? Save your money/credits.

    0 of 10 people found this review helpful
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