• Happy Endings

  • The Tales of a Meaty-Breasted Zilch
  • By: Jim Norton
  • Narrated by: Jim Norton
  • Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
  • 4.0 out of 5 stars (656 ratings)

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Happy Endings  By  cover art

Happy Endings

By: Jim Norton
Narrated by: Jim Norton
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Publisher's summary

Comedian Jim Norton is dirty...really dirty...the kind of dirty that makes The Aristocrats look like a knock-knock joke. Fortunately for him, his kind of dirty humor has earned him the distinction of being third microphone on the immensely popular Opie & Anthony syndicated radio show. In Happy Endings, Jim brings his raw, hilarious, and offensively honest comedy to Audible® listeners.

Jim will discuss everything from his affinity for hookers to stalking Black Sabbath and Alan Alda to always getting stuck with the hot girl's fat friend. He will share some of his experiences with Opie and Anthony, including his arrest on the infamous Voyeur Bus (a bus filled with naked girls that drove around Manhattan flashing passers-by). Many more heartwarming stories will be included in what is sure to be the most controversial title of 2007.

In addition to being a regular on the Opie & Anthony Show, Norton sells out comedy shows across the country. He starred on the recent HBO series Lucky Louie and was a regular on Comedy Central's Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. He has appeared on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, The Late Show with David Letterman, and other national shows.

Norton had this to say about his forthcoming title: "It's ironic that many of the stories revolve around prostitution, because that's where all proceeds from this...will be going. Actually, that's probably more disgusting and creepy than ironic."

Explicit Language Warning: You must be 18 years or older to purchase.

©2007 Jim Norton. All rights reserved (P)2007 Simon and Schuster Inc. All rights reserved.

What listeners say about Happy Endings

Average customer ratings
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  • 4 out of 5 stars
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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Doesn't get any cruder than this.

If you like Jim Norton's humor, you'll love this book. If you're someone that's uptight or easily offended, you'll pop a blood vessel after about 60 seconds of listening.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Somewhat Boring

I came to Happy Endings after listening to Hyena (by Rude Jude). I thought Happy Endings came through as a bit contrived with suspect filler material.

I’m no well-read literary aficionado. So YMMV!

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

fantastic I could listen once a day, everyday

jim norton is not only a phenomenal comedian, but an excellent story teller. Jim is one of the sort that's good at many things instead of being a one trick pony. Tell your friends Open wide here comes Jim Norton.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Boogers and piss

A hysterical and honest collection of writings from Norton's life. I'm a particular fan of his self analysis of poems and letters he wrote and received growing up.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Jim Norton is a GOD

Little Jimmy is not only a great comedian but a great author as well. With his brutally honesty about his life and his comedy this book should be bought for anyone who wants an honest look into the life of this comedian.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

The funniest book I've heard heard.

After acquiring Jim Norton's book called I Hate Your Guts, I decided to give this audiobook a try. This is the perfect book to listen to while you're going for walks. Jim Norton's funny stories did not disappoint.

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  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Wow this is bad

This guy is really sticking to that early 2000’s “lol are you triggered?” humor. He’s not even funny. He seems to think that talking about dicks=humor but honestly it just comes across as sad. Don’t waste your time or money

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  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

This isn't a stand up show

Jim can't get over himself enough to tell us about himself. This is just one bit after another which honestly are not that funny.

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  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Good but not good... :/

It had good stories but that's all it was with no real rhyme or reason. Allot of talk about how annoying travel was. It's like long winded stories that didn't make it in his stand up.

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  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

horrifically unfunny

What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

i think jims comedy is alright so i wanted to see what his life was like and maybe get a laugh out of it but its basically the same story over and over. trying way too hard to be dirty and vulgar. good voice and easy to listen to but the book sucks.

Has Happy Endings turned you off from other books in this genre?

no

Did the narration match the pace of the story?

yes

You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

no

Any additional comments?

i wasnt expecting much from this book and i was still let down

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2 people found this helpful