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Girl Walks into a Bar...: Comedy Calamities, Dating Disasters, and a Midlife Miracle | [Rachel Dratch]

Girl Walks into a Bar...: Comedy Calamities, Dating Disasters, and a Midlife Miracle

Anyone who saw an episode of Saturday Night Live between 1999 and 2006 knows Rachel Dratch. She was hilarious! So what happened to her? After a misbegotten part as Jenna on the pilot of 30 Rock, Dratch was only getting offered roles as "Lesbians. Secretaries. Sometimes secretaries who are lesbians." Her career at a low point, Dratch suddenly had time for yoga, dog- sitting, learning Spanish - and dating. After all, what did a forty-something single woman living in New York have to lose?
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Publisher's Summary

In this side-splitting memoir, the former Saturday Night Live star recounts the hilarious adventures and unexpected joy of dating and becoming a mother when she least expected it - at the age of 44.

Anyone who saw an episode of Saturday Night Live between 1999 and 2006 knows Rachel Dratch. She was hilarious! So what happened to her? After a misbegotten part as Jenna on the pilot of 30 Rock, Dratch was only getting offered roles as "Lesbians. Secretaries. Sometimes secretaries who are lesbians."

Her career at a low point, Dratch suddenly had time for yoga, dog-sitting, learning Spanish - and dating. After all, what did a forty-something single woman living in New York have to lose? Resigned to childlessness but still hoping for romance, Dratch was out for drinks with a friend when she met John.

Handsome and funny, after only six months of dating long-distance, he became the inadvertent father of her wholly unplanned, undreamed-of child and moved to New York to be a dad. With riotous humor, Dratch recounts breaking the news to her bewildered parents, the awe of her single friends, and the awkwardness of a baby-care class where the instructor kept tossing out the f-word.

Filled with great behind-the-scenes anecdotes from Dratch's time on SNL, Girl Walks into a Bar is a refreshing version of the "happily ever after" story that proves female comics - like best sellers Tina Fey and Chelsea Handler - are truly having their moment.

©2012 Rachel Dratch (P)2012 Penguin Audio

What Members Say

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  •  
    Pamela J United States 06-26-12
    Pamela J United States 06-26-12 Member Since 2014

    Sure, I'd love to hear your story....

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Girl walks into your heart....."

    This is the most human "Hollywood" story I've ever heard. While we like to pretend that talent and fortitude will always win out, we know when we say it that's not necessarily true. And this story of someone trying and succeeding and failing and trying and getting depressed and trying some more just hits home with sincerity and comic timing that is flawless. Could not have been performed by anyone else, and reminds us that maybe, just maybe, talent IS enough to get us to prevail.

    14 of 14 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jeanine Galloway, OH, United States 04-10-12
    Jeanine Galloway, OH, United States 04-10-12 Member Since 2014
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    "Could not stop listening"
    If you could sum up Girl Walks into a Bar... in three words, what would they be?

    Funny, Funny & Heartwarming


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    Rachel of course.


    Have you listened to any of Rachel Dratch’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

    Was not aware that she has read or written other books. I loved her voice and would listen to her read menu.


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    Yes, and could have if I had not started so late at night and needed to get to bed.


    Any additional comments?

    I have a feeling I will listen to this again and again over the next few years. It was just really that enjoyable of a book.

    20 of 21 people found this review helpful
  •  
    LARRY SYOSSET, NY, United States 04-30-12
    LARRY SYOSSET, NY, United States 04-30-12
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    "Hanging out with Rachel Dratch"
    Would you listen to Girl Walks into a Bar... again? Why?

    Yes, because there is ALWAYS something new for me to hear.


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Girl Walks into a Bar...?

    The letter from Doug.


    What does Rachel Dratch bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    See additional Comments


    Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    Both! There were some really funny parts and some parts that made me shed a tear.


    Any additional comments?

    I just finished the audio book. It is SO funny! It’s open & honest with a slight edginess. It’s that edginess that is it’s GREATEST charm. Listening to Rachel's easy conversational style, I get the feeling that I’m hanging out, (at a bar, of course, with a couple of glasses of Pinot) talking to an old friend.

    9 of 9 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Bonnie Barber 04-28-12 Member Since 2011
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    "A rarity: A memoir that's funny & a page-turner!"

    I read People magazine, so I knew how this story ended. Yet I couldn't stop listening because I wanted to find out what happened next in this hilarious and well-written memoir.

    I was afraid that once she finished writing about her Second City and SNL experiences that the book might drag. But I enjoyed the stories about how she met her "baby Daddy" and the eventual birth of her son just as much as the showbiz stories.

    I also thought that no memoir could make me laugh as hard as Tina Fey's memoir. But this one is just as funny and Dratch reads it beautifully. It's a hilarious, yet touching and sweet story that I highly recommend!

    One more thing: I usually can't listen to audiobooks when I drive because they lull me to sleep. But this one kept me wide awake and left me wanting more when I finished it. I hope she'll write a sequel!

    8 of 8 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Steve Nelson, New Zealand 05-01-12
    Steve Nelson, New Zealand 05-01-12
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    "Flowing comedic reality"

    This is a genuine laugh out loud listen. New Zealands State Highway one echoed to my laughter as I drove my truck through the night. I have recently suffered some personal trauma and this listen was much better than any drug to put me back on top and the colour back into life. Rachels Dratch's self effacing honesty and wry observations left me wanting more. Please write another to bring us up to date Rachel. Im keeping this one as an antidote to any future depression. My only criticism, and its a minor one, is that you read a bit fast which can detract.

    16 of 17 people found this review helpful
  •  
    amy platte city, MO, United States 04-20-12
    amy platte city, MO, United States 04-20-12 Member Since 2009
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    "Who Knew she was so darn adorable and likeable"
    Where does Girl Walks into a Bar... rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    I enjoyed it and listened to it in 2 days.


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Girl Walks into a Bar...?

    the overall tone of the book. She is so adorable and likeable and relatable. I think that is her strength. I'd like to see her focus more on that and she is really good at doing audiobooks. doesn't sound like she is reading from a script


    7 of 7 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jill BROOKLYN, NY, United States 04-13-12
    Jill BROOKLYN, NY, United States 04-13-12 Member Since 2014
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    "I laughed, I cried..."
    What did you love best about Girl Walks into a Bar...?

    Just all of Rachel's awkward moments, from being offered nothing but lesbian roles, to accidentally ending up on a date with a gay guy.


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Girl Walks into a Bar...?

    The email from her baby's uncle-to-be. I was crying on the subway.


    Which scene was your favorite?

    I was pretty amused by all the metaphysical stuff. For example, when she went to see a channeler who becomes Kendra, the vaguely Indian-sounding spirit guide.


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    Yes, it was very engaging.


    Any additional comments?

    I have to admit, I was initially more interested in the show biz/SNL part, which is really only the first, say, 15% of the book. But it was so entertaining and such a sweet story that I got sucked into the rest of it.

    13 of 14 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amy HARRISBURG, NC, United States 06-23-12
    Amy HARRISBURG, NC, United States 06-23-12 Member Since 2011
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    "Loved It!"

    Found this book entertaining, funny and interesting. I love that Rachel narrates the book - her voice really makes the story come alive. I would definitely recommend.

    4 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Allison H. 04-26-12
    Allison H. 04-26-12

    Disney Princess

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    "Sweet, kind of scattered, memoir"
    What did you love best about Girl Walks into a Bar...?

    I enjoy funny women and their memoirs, but this isn't the strongest I've ever read. I preferred Jane Lynch's Happy Accidents and even Tina Fey's Bossypants. There is something pleasantly "free-form" and "stream of consciousness" about Dratch's writing, but it makes for an overall mixed bag of a book. The audiobook, narrated by Dratch, is funny and she speaks to the listener as though they were a friend -- breaking into different voices and really intensifying her own punchlines. This is what I loved best about Girl Walks Into a Bar..., having the actress literally bring her words to life in your ears.


    How would you have changed the story to make it more enjoyable?

    To make the story more enjoyable, I would have focused more on her UCB/improv training days, her SNL experiences, and even her auditioning stories -- arguably, the most entertaining and interesting parts of the book, though Dratch repeats, "This isn't a showbiz memoir." The bulk, then, is about mommyhood and babies and "Oh, can't new moms be full of themselves?" which felt tired and not as humorous or engaging. I also can't help feeling the "30+ New York City gal dating horror stories" have also been told better, on countless Sex and the City episodes and columns in Glamour magazine. So, while maybe Dratch didn't set out to write a showbiz memoir, maybe she could have written a "comedian's life" memoir in the style of Steve Martin's Born Standing Up.


    Which scene was your favorite?

    I found her UCB/Improv stories to be the most engaging -- how her brain worked on stage improvising, how the team dynamic worked in the improv world, the joy of making other comedians laugh, etc.


    If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

    Starring Rachel Dratch as Rachel Dratch -- And Not a Crude Caricature of a Butch Lesbian! -- a role she often laments she plays.


    Any additional comments?

    Worth a listen, especially if you're into funny women.

    10 of 12 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Chrissy Holliston, MA, United States 12-27-13
    Chrissy Holliston, MA, United States 12-27-13 Member Since 2015
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    "Rachel Dratch is charming and hilarious"
    Would you consider the audio edition of Girl Walks into a Bar... to be better than the print version?

    Yes. Dratch read it herself, and her voice is familiar, warm, and normal. It makes it seem like she's just a friend with a crazy life that is telling you her story rather than a person trying to project an image of themselves onto an audience.


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Girl Walks into a Bar...?

    Interestingly enough, the book sucked me in with the 30 Rock stuff, but I became much more interested in her life and her relationship and child.


    What does Rachel Dratch bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    Comedy, dialect, and I imagine she read it the way she wanted it to be read in my head.


    Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    I laughed a lot. I had to pull over one time in order to laugh properly when she called herself a neurotic jew.


    Any additional comments?

    Rachel Dratch is one of those comedians SNL fans love because she is unique and an amazing sketch performer. She has a wildly normal personality, and it shows through in this book. I found myself relating to her, to her journey and struggle as a student, actress, and adult. I feel like now if I ever met her in real life I would have a hard time drawing personal boundaries because this book gave me a real insight to her personality, which, in my head, makes us friends.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
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  • Mark Skraba
    6/30/15
    Overall
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    "Yes."

    Honest, Funny, and Darn Charming. Thanking you Rachel Dratch for not living the 'normal life'

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Leanne Riordan
    3/28/15
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    "Brilliantly funny!!"

    I loved this story it made me laugh out loud so many times! Even better than Tina Fay or Amy Pohler 5 stars!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Kelsey Swan
    3/19/15
    Overall
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    Story
    "If you love SNL you will love this."

    If you love Saturday Night Live you'll love this book. Rachel Dratch is underrated and you need to listen to this. There have been sometimes where I've actually gasped, chuckled and shouted "NO!!" Very loudly haha. If you liked Tina Fey's Bossypants, Mindy Kaling's Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? or Amy Poehler's Yes Please this is your next audiobook.

    Dratch tells it how it is. Hollywood, friendships, dating and life in general. Wonderful book that will definitely make you feel better, with hilarious observations of the world.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • R Mac
    Manchester
    2/23/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Give it a go!"

    If you love similar memoirs from the likes of Amy Poehler and Tina Fey then audible has probably suggested this title to you and it's definitely worth a try. Refreshingly honest and interesting and definitely not a put on performance, a real woman sharing her story and I'm happy to recommend it! Well read too I think that adds a lot to the story. Really enjoyed it :)

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Charlton Siddo
    London, Essex United Kingdom
    6/18/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Really Funny !!"
    Would you listen to Girl Walks into a Bar... again? Why?

    Yes, I would listen to this again. I found it very light-hearted and funny, and Rachel Dratch doesn't take herself too seriously but at the same time gives you an insight into her professional and personal world.


    What other book might you compare Girl Walks into a Bar... to, and why?

    Difficult to say which book to compare this too never read an autobiography quite as funny as this.


    Which character – as performed by Rachel Dratch – was your favourite?

    Debbie Downer


    Did you have an emotional reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    I think when she got pregnant then everything seem to change.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Tony
    London, United Kingdom
    10/17/13
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Great story, great narration - really honest story"
    Where does Girl Walks into a Bar... rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    One of the best cos of the way she tells her story


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    Rachel.... and Burley the dog


    If you made a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

    "Not starring Rachel Dratch, she didn't seem convincing"


    Any additional comments?

    A really humble story about an actor who sort of made it, then didn't quite make it, but still gets asked all the time about what it was like to not quite make it. She was great on Saturday Night Live, we all wanted to see more of her on 30 Rock, and this book finally answers the question "are you and Tina Fey still friends?"

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Holly
    United Kingdom
    4/7/13
    Overall
    "Well worth a listen."

    One of the great things about this audiobook is the fact that, because it is narrated by the author, it has the benefit of Rachel Dratch's wit and fantastic comic timing. The 'sketch-style' opening grabbed me immediately and I found the rest of the book an absolute joy. Ms Dratch transitions effortlessly between apparently unrelated subject areas (The Second City, the Secret, dog ownership and dinosaur art robots, to name a few) whilst still keeping the listener gripped with her mixture of humour and insight. As a fan of hers, I was intrigued to learn more about her life, but really this is a great book for anyone who wants to hear a great, funny story with moments of coincidence and everyday adventure bordering on the mystical. Excellent.

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful

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