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Girl Walks into a Bar...
- Comedy Calamities, Dating Disasters, and a Midlife Miracle
- Narrated by: Rachel Dratch
- Length: 5 hrs and 12 mins
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Publisher's summary
In this side-splitting memoir, the former Saturday Night Live star recounts the hilarious adventures and unexpected joy of dating and becoming a mother when she least expected it - at the age of 44.
Anyone who saw an episode of Saturday Night Live between 1999 and 2006 knows Rachel Dratch. She was hilarious! So what happened to her? After a misbegotten part as Jenna on the pilot of 30 Rock, Dratch was only getting offered roles as "Lesbians. Secretaries. Sometimes secretaries who are lesbians."
Her career at a low point, Dratch suddenly had time for yoga, dog-sitting, learning Spanish - and dating. After all, what did a forty-something single woman living in New York have to lose? Resigned to childlessness but still hoping for romance, Dratch was out for drinks with a friend when she met John.
Handsome and funny, after only six months of dating long-distance, he became the inadvertent father of her wholly unplanned, undreamed-of child and moved to New York to be a dad. With riotous humor, Dratch recounts breaking the news to her bewildered parents, the awe of her single friends, and the awkwardness of a baby-care class where the instructor kept tossing out the f-word.
Filled with great behind-the-scenes anecdotes from Dratch's time on SNL, Girl Walks into a Bar is a refreshing version of the "happily ever after" story that proves female comics - like best sellers Tina Fey and Chelsea Handler - are truly having their moment.
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- Narrated by: Julie Klausner
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 339
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 307
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 309
In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care about Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love - and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage. I Don't Care about Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Shopping for Men at the Wrong Mall
- By Pamela Harvey on 01-02-13
By: Julie Klausner
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 536
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 485
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 486
"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
-
Wildflower
- By: Drew Barrymore
- Narrated by: Drew Barrymore
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,571
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4,983
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,953
Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
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You're Better than Me
- A Memoir
- By: Bonnie McFarlane
- Narrated by: Bonnie McFarlane, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 290
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 266
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 263
In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively listenable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy person from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
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Kiss and Tell
- By: Shannon Tweed, Jules McCarron
- Narrated by: Shannon Tweed
- Length: 3 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 352
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 287
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 282
In this long-awaited autobiography, one of the most beautiful women in the world tells her story, from growing up on a mink ranch in Newfoundland with six brothers and sisters to raising two children with a rock star in Beverly Hills. One of the most popular and best-known Playboy pin-ups ever, Shannon Tweed burst on the scene in the 80s as Playmate of the Year and Hugh Hefner's love interest. She soon became a successful actress, appearing in countless movies and television series.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Interesting listen.
- By KRG on 01-22-11
By: Shannon Tweed, and others
-
Challenge Accepted!
- 253 Steps to Becoming an Anti-It Girl
- By: Celeste Barber
- Narrated by: Celeste Barber
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,035
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 921
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 911
Part memoir, part comedy routine, part advice manual, Challenge Accepted! is Celeste at her best, revealing her secrets to love, friendship, family, and marriage (oh hai, #hothusband), and how to deal with life’s many challenges - why she checks the bath for sharks, how Nutella quite literally shaped who she is as a woman, and why being famous on Instagram is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s real, like totally, really real.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Prepare to crack up in the grocery store
- By Chicago_Mama on 05-30-19
By: Celeste Barber
-
I Didn't Come Here to Make Friends
- Confessions of a Reality Show Villain
- By: Courtney Robertson, Deborah Baer
- Narrated by: Courtney Robertson
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 577
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 513
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 510
Complete with stories, tips, tricks, and advice from your favorite Bachelor alumni, and filled with all the juicy details Courtney fans and foes alike want to know, I Didn't Come Here to Make Friends is a must-listen for every member of Bachelor nation.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
I didn't come here to make friends
- By Carolyn on 06-10-15
By: Courtney Robertson, and others
-
Dirty Daddy
- The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian
- By: Bob Saget
- Narrated by: Bob Saget
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 517
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 462
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 461
Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Meh to the 2nd Power
- By Hilary on 06-30-14
By: Bob Saget
-
A Little Bit Wicked
- Life, Love, and Faith in Stages
- By: Kristin Chenoweth
- Narrated by: Kristin Chenoweth
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 481
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 309
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 310
In this frank and funny memoir, the Tony Award-winning star of stage and screen shares her journey from small-town Oklahoma to big-time Broadway, vamping on what it takes to stand firmly on a foundation of family and faith while wearing a hot pair of Jimmy Choo platform sling-backs.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Salt of the Earth + Sparkles
- By Holly on 10-01-09
-
She Memes Well
- By: Quinta Brunson
- Narrated by: Quinta Brunson
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 755
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 670
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 669
From comedian Quinta Brunson (creator and star of Abbott Elementary) comes a deeply personal and funny collection of essays about trying to make it when you're struggling, the importance of staying true to your roots, and how she's redefined humor online. In her debut essay collection, Quinta applies her trademark humor and heart to discuss what it was like to go from a girl who loved the World Wide Web to a girl whose face launched a thousand memes. This special Audible edition includes never-before-heard details about the making of Abbott Elementary.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
That moment you know you’re a TEACHER…
- By chrissybrown on 09-19-22
By: Quinta Brunson
-
American on Purpose
- The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot
- By: Craig Ferguson
- Narrated by: Craig Ferguson
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,258
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,501
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,493
In American on Purpose, Craig Ferguson delivers a moving and achingly funny memoir of living the American dream as he journeys from the mean streets of Glasgow, Scotland, to the comedic promised land of Hollywood. Along the way, he stumbles through several attempts to make his mark - as a punk rock musician, a construction worker, a bouncer, and, tragically, a modern dancer.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Unabashedly Honest
- By Diane on 12-09-09
By: Craig Ferguson
-
The Wrong End of the Table
- A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit In
- By: Ayser Salman, Reza Aslan - foreword
- Narrated by: Ayser Salman, Assaf Cohen
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 44
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 33
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 32
Part memoir and part how-not-to guide, The Wrong End of the Table is everything you wanted to know about Arabs but were afraid to ask, with chapters such as “Tattoos and Other National Security Risks,” “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom,” and even an open letter to Trump. This is the story of every American outsider on a path to find themselves in a country of beautiful diversity.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Not what I was looking for
- By Amazon Customer on 09-01-22
By: Ayser Salman, and others
-
If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother
- By: Julia Sweeney
- Narrated by: Julia Sweeney
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 196
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 176
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 175
Since her time on Saturday Night Live, where she created the infamous androgynous character "Pat", Julia Sweeney has gone on to establish herself as a witty, captivating performer of one-woman shows, like God Said Ha!, In the Family Way, and Letting Go of God. She gave a TED talk sharing how she explained the birds and the bees to her eight-year-old daughter, Mulan, which ignited an incredible response. Now, when it comes to talking about motherhood, people want to hear what Julia has to say.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
I Love Julia Sweeney
- By Lisa on 04-05-13
By: Julia Sweeney
-
Here's the Story
- Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding My True Voice
- By: Maureen McCormick
- Narrated by: Maureen McCormick
- Length: 5 hrs and 58 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 544
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 436
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 435
Marcia Brady, eldest daughter on television's The Brady Bunch, had it all. But what viewers didn't know about the always sunny, perfect Marcia was that offscreen, her real-life counterpart, Maureen McCormick was living a very different - and not so wonderful - life. Maureen tells the shocking and inspirational true story of the beloved teen and the woman she became.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Gripping
- By Chris on 08-12-14
-
The Unspeakable
- And Other Subjects of Discussion
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Meghan Daum
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 116
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 98
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 98
It's a report tempered by hard times. In "Matricide", Daum unflinchingly describes a parent's death and the uncomfortable emotions it provokes; and in "Diary of a Coma" she relates her own journey to the twilight of the mind. But Daum also operates in a comic register. With perfect precision, she reveals the absurdities of the marriage-industrial complex, of the New Age dating market, and of the peculiar habits of the young and digital.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Complaining about her dead mom.
- By Erik Hermansen on 11-23-14
By: Meghan Daum
-
Has Anyone Seen My Pants?
- By: Sarah Colonna
- Narrated by: Sarah Colonna
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 395
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 346
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 346
Has Anyone Seen My Pants? is a laugh-out-loud trip around America (and Mexico!) with Sarah as she braves crying in nail salons, mother-daughter road trips, Iowan casinos, and single-shaming resorts. From a fling-gone-wrong to friend breakups and a new romance, Sarah's signature wit and sharp observations take you on a journey at once so deviously funny and surprisingly compassionate that it might just steal your heart - not to mention your pants.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
clearance shelf material
- By lisa martinez on 04-28-15
By: Sarah Colonna
-
What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding
- A Memoir
- By: Kristin Newman
- Narrated by: Kristin Newman
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,125
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 987
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 987
Kristin Newman spent her 20s and 30s dealing with the stresses of her high-pressure job as a television comedy writer, and the anxieties of watching most of her friends get married and start families while she wrestled with her own fear of both. Not ready to settle down and yet loathe to become a sad-sack single girl, Kristin instead started traveling the world, often alone, for a few months each year, falling madly in love with attractive locals who provided moments of the love she wanted without the cost of the freedom she needed.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Struggled to Finish
- By YITBOS on 11-21-15
By: Kristin Newman
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 54,335
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 47,309
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 47,076
Amy Poehler is hosting a dinner party and you're invited! Welcome to the audiobook edition of Amy Poehler's Yes Please. The guest list is star-studded with vocal appearances from Carol Burnett, Seth Meyers, Michael Schur, Patrick Stewart, Kathleen Turner, and even Amy’s parents - Yes Please is the ultimate audiobook extravaganza.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Listen to this book for sure
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Hello, Molly!
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- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 4,673
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 4,119
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Story5 out of 5 stars 4,103
At age four, Molly Shannon’s world was shattered when she lost her mother, baby sister, and cousin in a car accident with her father at the wheel. Held together by her tender and complicated relationship with her grieving father, Molly was raised in a permissive household where her gift for improvising and role-playing blossomed alongside the fearlessness that would lead her to become a celebrated actress.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Molly is a superstar!!!
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Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)
- By: Mindy Kaling
- Narrated by: Mindy Kaling, Michael Schur, B. J. Novak
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 16,857
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 14,758
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Story4 out of 5 stars 14,724
Mindy Kaling has lived many lives: the obedient child of immigrant professionals, a timid chubster afraid of her own bike, a Ben Affleck–impersonating Off-Broadway performer and playwright, and, finally, a comedy writer and actress prone to starting fights with her friends and coworkers with the sentence “Can I just say one last thing about this, and then I swear I’ll shut up about it?”
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4 out of 5 stars
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If you like Mindy, you'll enjoy this listen.
- By Lisa on 01-04-12
By: Mindy Kaling
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Scrappy Little Nobody
- By: Anna Kendrick
- Narrated by: Anna Kendrick
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 18,709
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 16,971
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 16,860
Anna Kendrick's autobiographical collection of essays amusingly recounts memorable moments throughout her life, from her middle-class upbringing in New England to the blockbuster movies that have made her one of Hollywood's most popular actresses today. Expanding upon the witty and ironic dispatches for which she is known, Anna Kendrick's essays offer her one-of-a-kind commentary on the absurdities she's experienced on her way to and from the heart of pop culture.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Anna Kendrick: Scrappy Little... Revelation
- By Andrew on 01-17-17
By: Anna Kendrick
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Bossypants
- By: Tina Fey
- Narrated by: Tina Fey
- Length: 5 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 60,459
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 50,595
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 50,363
Before Liz Lemon, before Weekend Update, before Sarah Palin, Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: A recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live. Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've always suspected: You're no one until someone calls you bossy.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Tina Fey broke my new SUV
- By Warren on 04-07-11
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This Will Only Hurt a Little
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- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,143
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 4,644
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Busy Philipps’ autobiographical audiobook offers the same unfiltered and candid storytelling that her Instagram followers have come to know and love, from growing up in Scottsdale, Arizona, and her painful and painfully funny teen years to her life as a working actress, mother, and famous best friend. Busy is the rare entertainer whose impressive arsenal of talents as an actress is equally matched by her storytelling ability, sense of humor, and sharp observations about life, love, and motherhood. Her conversational writing reminds us what we love about her on screens of all sizes.
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1 out of 5 stars
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I wanted to like it so much...
- By Amy Isbell on 10-18-18
By: Busy Philipps
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Yes Please
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- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 54,335
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 47,309
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 47,076
Amy Poehler is hosting a dinner party and you're invited! Welcome to the audiobook edition of Amy Poehler's Yes Please. The guest list is star-studded with vocal appearances from Carol Burnett, Seth Meyers, Michael Schur, Patrick Stewart, Kathleen Turner, and even Amy’s parents - Yes Please is the ultimate audiobook extravaganza.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Listen to this book for sure
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 4,673
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 4,119
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Story5 out of 5 stars 4,103
At age four, Molly Shannon’s world was shattered when she lost her mother, baby sister, and cousin in a car accident with her father at the wheel. Held together by her tender and complicated relationship with her grieving father, Molly was raised in a permissive household where her gift for improvising and role-playing blossomed alongside the fearlessness that would lead her to become a celebrated actress.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Molly is a superstar!!!
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 16,857
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 14,758
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Story4 out of 5 stars 14,724
Mindy Kaling has lived many lives: the obedient child of immigrant professionals, a timid chubster afraid of her own bike, a Ben Affleck–impersonating Off-Broadway performer and playwright, and, finally, a comedy writer and actress prone to starting fights with her friends and coworkers with the sentence “Can I just say one last thing about this, and then I swear I’ll shut up about it?”
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4 out of 5 stars
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If you like Mindy, you'll enjoy this listen.
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By: Mindy Kaling
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Scrappy Little Nobody
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 18,709
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 16,971
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 16,860
Anna Kendrick's autobiographical collection of essays amusingly recounts memorable moments throughout her life, from her middle-class upbringing in New England to the blockbuster movies that have made her one of Hollywood's most popular actresses today. Expanding upon the witty and ironic dispatches for which she is known, Anna Kendrick's essays offer her one-of-a-kind commentary on the absurdities she's experienced on her way to and from the heart of pop culture.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Before Liz Lemon, before Weekend Update, before Sarah Palin, Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: A recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live. Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've always suspected: You're no one until someone calls you bossy.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Tina Fey broke my new SUV
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 4,644
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1 out of 5 stars
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I wanted to like it so much...
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Why Not Me?
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 15,651
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 13,745
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 13,651
In Why Not Me?, Kaling shares insightful, deeply personal stories about falling in love at work, seeking new friendships in lonely places, attempting to be the first person in history to lose weight without any behavior modification whatsoever, and believing that you have a place in Hollywood when you’re constantly reminded that no one looks like you.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
sad to even be writing this review :(
- By Brandin on 10-02-15
By: Mindy Kaling
-
The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo
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- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 20,734
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 18,526
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 18,480
In The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo, Amy mines her past for stories about her teenage years, her family, relationships, and sex and shares the experiences that have shaped who she is - a woman with the courage to bare her soul to stand up for what she believes in, all while making us laugh. Down to earth and relatable, frank and unapologetic, Amy Schumer is one of us: She relies on her sister for advice, still hangs out with her high school pals, and continues to navigate the ever-changing boundaries in love, work, and life.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
mind numbing
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By: Amy Schumer
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Is This Anything?
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- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,881
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,410
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,360
Since his first performance at the legendary New York nightclub “Catch a Rising Star” as a 21-year-old college student in fall of 1975, Jerry Seinfeld has written his own material and saved everything. “Whenever I came up with a funny bit, whether it happened on a stage, in a conversation, or working it out on my preferred canvas, the big yellow legal pad, I kept it in one of those old school accordion folders,” Seinfeld writes. “So I have everything I thought was worth saving from 45 years of hacking away at this for all I was worth.”
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1 out of 5 stars
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Joke, joke, joke. Boring, boring, boring.
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The Bedwetter
- Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 3,561
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,814
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Story4 out of 5 stars 2,803
From the outrageously filthy and oddly innocent comedienne and star of the powerful 2015 film I Smile Back Sarah Silverman comes a memoir—her first book—that is at once shockingly personal, surprisingly poignant, and still pee-in-your-pants funny. If you like Sarah's television show The Sarah Silverman Program, or memoirs such as Chelsea Handler's Are You There Vodka? It's Me Chelsea and Artie Lange's Too Fat to Fish, you'll love The Bedwetter.
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5 out of 5 stars
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a surprisingly nice, unsurprisingly funny memoir
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By: Sarah Silverman
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Uganda Be Kidding Me
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- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,869
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,485
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,482
Wherever Chelsea Handler travels, one thing is certain: she always ends up in the land of the ridiculous. Now, in this uproarious collection, she sneaks her sharp wit through airport security and delivers her most absurd and hilarious stories ever.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Hilarious!
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The Greatest Love Story Ever Told
- An Oral History
- By: Megan Mullally, Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman, Megan Mullally
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,345
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,904
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,878
At last, the full story behind Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman's epic romance, including stories, portraits, and the occasional puzzle. How did they do it? They came from completely different families, endured a significant age difference, and were separated by the gulf of several social strata. Megan loved books and art history; Nick loved hammers. But much more than these seemingly unsurpassable obstacles were the values they held in common: respect, decency, the ability to mention genitalia in almost any context, and an abiding obsession with the songs of Tom Waits.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not sure if I like or not.
- By KJ1022 on 10-03-18
By: Megan Mullally, and others
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Sure, I'll Join Your Cult
- A Memoir of Mental Illness and the Quest to Belong Anywhere
- By: Maria Bamford
- Narrated by: Maria Bamford
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 950
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 857
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 855
Maria Bamford is a comedian’s comedian (an outsider among outsiders) and has forever fought to find a place to belong. From struggling with an eating disorder as a child of the 1980s, to navigating a career in the arts (and medical debt and psychiatric institutionalization), she has tried just about every method possible to not only be a part of the world, but to want to be a part of it. In Bamford’s signature voice, Sure, I’ll Join Your Cult, brings us on a quest to participate in something.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Hilarious and sincere
- By B. Bazzell on 09-06-23
By: Maria Bamford
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 536
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 485
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Story4 out of 5 stars 486
"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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Escape from Virtual Island
- An Audio Comedy
- By: John Lutz
- Narrated by: Paul Rudd, Jack McBrayer, Sue Galloway, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 28 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 6,873
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 6,095
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Story4 out of 5 stars 6,092
In the year 2038, there’s only one destination that can play host to the world’s wealthiest adventure seekers: the Pengalaman Island Resort and Virtual Reality Theme Park. Located on a private South Pacific island, guests here live out their wildest fantasies in custom-made virtual reality simulations while also enjoying the usual amenities of an exclusive five-star getaway. All is relatively breezy until famed billionaire and avid guest, Mr. Wagner, goes missing within a virtual simulation. His only hope? A daring rescue led by Derek Ambrose and his ragtag search party.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Story is a Bit Stupid
- By Jeffrey veals on 04-03-20
By: John Lutz
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Wildflower
- By: Drew Barrymore
- Narrated by: Drew Barrymore
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,571
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4,983
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,953
Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
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Yearbook
- By: Seth Rogen
- Narrated by: Seth Rogen, full cast
- Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 9,927
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 8,620
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 8,560
Hi! I’m Seth! I was asked to describe my audiobook, Yearbook for websites and shit like that, so...here it goes!!! Yearbook is a collection of true stories that I desperately hope are just funny at worst, and life-changingly amazing at best. (I understand that it’s likely the former, which is a fancy “book” way of saying “the first one.”) I talk about my grandparents, doing stand-up comedy as a teenager, bar mitzvahs, and Jewish summer camp, and tell way more stories about doing drugs than my mother would like.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good until it turned political
- By atk0623 on 05-20-21
By: Seth Rogen
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Born Standing Up
- A Comic's Life
- By: Steve Martin
- Narrated by: Steve Martin
- Length: 4 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 14,686
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 12,064
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 11,992
In the mid-70s, Steve Martin exploded onto the comedy scene. By 1978 he was the biggest concert draw in the history of stand-up. In 1981 he quit forever. Born Standing Up is, in his own words, the story of "why I did stand-up and why I walked away".
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fantastic
- By Andrew on 11-30-07
By: Steve Martin
What listeners say about Girl Walks into a Bar...
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- A. Christiansen
- 01-05-23
Loved it!
I got this audio book for something light, and not only found lots of laughs, but also a sincere and frank memoir. I was drawn to Rachel and her story. It was hard to stop listening, I enjoyed it so much. Now that I'm done I hope she writes another!
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Ashley
- 11-03-14
Fun
I loved the beginning of the book, but it lost a little bit of steam towards the end. The struggling comedienne stuff was pretty funny and she is a terrific narrator. The starting family stuff was less funny, but sweet and enjoyable.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Laura Ann
- 08-14-21
Enjoyed Rachel and her story!
I really enjoyed hearing Rachel’s story and her storytelling. I would definitely recommend it to others!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jeremy
- 06-14-16
Hilarious & touching
I loved every moment of this down-to-Earth actresses account of her career & life in the entertainment business. A great "read."
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- janateach
- 01-05-13
She's no Tina Fey.
Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?
Yes. It doesn't stand up to Bossypants, but Dratch knows that, too. The book is good and honest and a nice look at a pretty regular life.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Book Tiger
- 09-07-16
very enjoyable
Loved the parts of her life after SNL and her life as a new mother. I also liked her dating horror stories.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Day
- 01-24-15
Great to listen to
Very funny and enjoyable to listen to. I had seen her in parts over the years but never realized how funny she was. Loved that she read her own book. Hope to see her in more movies.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- TM
- 08-21-16
Loved it, felt like catching up with an old friend
So happy that she narrated her own book, made a long drive so much better
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Diana Hernaez
- 02-16-16
awesome!
This was my first audible book and I loved it! I look forward to reading more from Rachel Dratch.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Bianca
- 11-04-16
finished in three days
Great choice. Really enjoyed how genuine Rachel was and loved how funny/real her is. I've already recommended the book to everyone at work!
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