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Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea | [Chelsea Handler]

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

In this wickedly honest new work, Chelsea Handler casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date - including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.
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Publisher's Summary

In My Horizontal Life, actress and stand-up comedian Chelsea Handler boldly recounted her one-night stands - the good, the bad, and the disastrous. In this wickedly honest new work, she casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date - including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.

Whether it's a vacation with her dad during which he tells airline staff they're a honeymoon couple in order to get an upgrade, or her elaborate attempts to convince her third-grade classmates that she's starring in a Private Benjamin sequel, Chelsea lets it rip in these relentlessly entertaining essays. Displaying the candor and irresistible turn of phrase that have earned her a recurring stint as a correspondent on The Tonight Show as well as her own E! series, Chelsea Lately, this deliciously skewed collection is a guilty pleasure.

©2008 Chelsea Handler; (P)2008 Simon and Schuster, Inc.

What the Critics Say

"Chelsea Handler is a terrific comedian and a hilarious writer. (Jay Leno)
"Chelsea Handler writes like Judy Blume, if Judy Blume were into vodka, Ecstasy, and sleeping with midgets and nineteen-year-olds." (Jennifer Weiner, best-selling author of In Her Shoes)
"There's something suspiciously sophisticated about how [Handler's] jokes line up that suggests the moral austerity of a comic not of [Joan] Rivers' bad-girl school: Tina Fey." (New York Times)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

3.9 (1885 )
5 star
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3.9 (1020 )
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4.2 (1020 )
5 star
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3 star
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2 star
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1 star
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Performance
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  •  
    Caitlyn 07-29-13
    Caitlyn 07-29-13 Member Since 2011
    HELPFUL VOTES
    3
    ratings
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    7
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    Story
    "Eh...."

    The stories were very entertaining, but the book isn't well written. She recycles punch lines and tongue-in-cheek descriptors way too often for such a short book.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Melissa Dayton, OH, United States 05-29-13
    Melissa Dayton, OH, United States 05-29-13 Member Since 2010

    Counselor with eclectic taste, I enjoy all types of fiction, dark, strange and twisted things, humor and explicitly.

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Laughed out loud, a lot, and didn't care..."
    Where does Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    Way Up There... TOPS!


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea?

    Well.... how can I put this? The part that referred to the anatomy of man...LOL


    What about Chelsea Handler’s performance did you like?

    Her delivery is great, as always, raunchy yup... and I love her lack of a filter


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    Several moments had me crossing my legs (wink)... I was laughing so hard


    Any additional comments?

    If your a prude pass it by, If you want to laugh out loud don't!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Siska 05-14-13
    Siska 05-14-13 Member Since 2011
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "A long listen, for very little reward....."
    Would you try another book from Chelsea Handler and/or Chelsea Handler?

    No, I probably will stay clear from any books written by Chelsea Handler.
    Have no issues getting a book with her as a narrator, she truly did do a good job there.


    Has Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea turned you off from other books in this genre?

    No, but it will probably be a while before I order another autobiography style book from the entertainment section.


    Who would you have cast as narrator instead of Chelsea Handler?

    Chelsea Handler was the perfect narrator for this book, it is just a pity that most of the context came over as a self indulgent rant.


    You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

    There are some parts in the book in which you can finally detect her brutally honest,funny and unafraid personality. But they are to far and few in-between the other parts that all come over as self absorbed, eager to name drop & whinny.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    InnaP 05-04-13
    InnaP 05-04-13
    HELPFUL VOTES
    5
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    9
    8
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    "Just OK"
    Is there anything you would change about this book?

    I just expected to laugh more…


    Do you think Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?

    I did not think this one was that great, so I wouldn't be interested in follow up.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Paige 04-22-13
    Paige 04-22-13
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
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    3
    3
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    "I really wanted to like this..."
    Would you try another book from Chelsea Handler and/or Chelsea Handler?

    Maybe.


    What was your reaction to the ending? (No spoilers please!)

    It was a letdown, like she just got tired of writing. Or she came up against her deadline and just ended it there.


    Would you listen to another book narrated by Chelsea Handler?

    Who edits these questions? You already asked me that.


    Do you think Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?

    No. Because this was just a bunch of stories and the characters weren't all that interesting.


    Any additional comments?

    I've seen Chelsea Lately and I think she's funny, but a little bit of her goes a long way. This was too much.

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jan 04-08-13
    Jan 04-08-13
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "A new fan of Chelsea's."
    If you could sum up Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea in three words, what would they be?

    Real, funny, relateable.


    What other book might you compare Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea to and why?

    I think it's a unique book, at least right now I can't think of another to compare it to.


    What does Chelsea Handler bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    Chelsea is a good narrarator, and it just adds to the story when the the author narrarates their own work. She made it seem effortless, I concentrated on the book rather than the performance.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    Several times she had me laughing out loud. She cracks me up, but she has a heart also. I'm not sure I knew that about her before the book. She can be so direct sometimes, she comes off as mean. Now I think that she's just being direct in her own way. I get her.


    Any additional comments?

    I'll be buying her other books after listening to this one. I've always liked Chelsea, but now I'm a fan of her as an author. The book is enjoyable and will crack you up, it did me.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kate United States 04-06-13
    Kate United States 04-06-13 Member Since 2012

    I love audiobooks. Reading has always been a struggle for me because of my poor eyesight. Audible changed my world and made my commutes a joy.

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Just not that funny"

    Chelsea Handler can be very witty, but not in this book. Here she's just trying to shock you with how untamed she is. I'm not impressed or amused.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Twila 03-27-13
    Twila 03-27-13
    ratings
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    1
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    "Funny read on a bad day"
    Where does Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    The way it was read, and personalized made me giggle at so many parts. This was definitely a good listen while needing a distraction on a rough day. I recommend it to anyone who needs a good read.


    Would you be willing to try another book from Chelsea Handler? Why or why not?

    Yes


    Have you listened to any of Chelsea Handler’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

    Yes but I can't remember which one.


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    Yes


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Sean Houston, Texas, United States 03-26-13
    Sean Houston, Texas, United States 03-26-13 Member Since 2009

    Say something about yourself!

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Mostly not funny"

    One or two decent stories, but mostly she's having a run at Jenny McCarthy's Crude-but-unfunny title.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Claudia Olathe, KS, United States 03-18-13
    Claudia Olathe, KS, United States 03-18-13
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    "Mostly entertaining."
    Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?

    Depends on the friend. It is really funny, for the most part. There are some parts that are just too crass for me, but it didn't stop me from finishing the book. I thought she would be a better narrator; she's not horrible, but it was hard to keep listening in the beginning. Glad I did, her narration got better as the book went on.


    Would you listen to another book narrated by Chelsea Handler?

    Maybe.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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