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Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea Audiobook

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

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Publisher's Summary

In My Horizontal Life, actress and stand-up comedian Chelsea Handler boldly recounted her one-night stands - the good, the bad, and the disastrous. In this wickedly honest new work, she casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date - including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.

Whether it's a vacation with her dad during which he tells airline staff they're a honeymoon couple in order to get an upgrade, or her elaborate attempts to convince her third-grade classmates that she's starring in a Private Benjamin sequel, Chelsea lets it rip in these relentlessly entertaining essays. Displaying the candor and irresistible turn of phrase that have earned her a recurring stint as a correspondent on The Tonight Show as well as her own E! series, Chelsea Lately, this deliciously skewed collection is a guilty pleasure.

©2008 Chelsea Handler; (P)2008 Simon and Schuster, Inc.

What the Critics Say

"Chelsea Handler is a terrific comedian and a hilarious writer. (Jay Leno)
"Chelsea Handler writes like Judy Blume, if Judy Blume were into vodka, Ecstasy, and sleeping with midgets and nineteen-year-olds." (Jennifer Weiner, best-selling author of In Her Shoes)
"There's something suspiciously sophisticated about how [Handler's] jokes line up that suggests the moral austerity of a comic not of [Joan] Rivers' bad-girl school: Tina Fey." (New York Times)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.1 (2729 )
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4.4 (1747 )
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  •  
    Some Girl Denver, CO 08-01-08
    Some Girl Denver, CO 08-01-08 Member Since 2007

    Gina

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    "Dud."

    I was disappointed with this download. I noticed it was in the top 10, wanted something lighthearted, and missed it in this book. Handler is not funny. She got a few snorts out of me, no LOLllers. She comes across, rather than funny, as bitchy, grating, and mean.

    Maybe that's her MO in standup. Some of you may like that brand of vodka in comedy.

    But for me, my recommendation is to use your credit elsewhere.

    3 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Debbie Austin, TX, United States 02-09-10
    Debbie Austin, TX, United States 02-09-10 Member Since 2005
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    "Funny in some parts but crass"

    I found a lot of this book to be obnoxious. I laughed in parts, but, it was often pretty mean, gross, offensive, or crude humor.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    B. Yeats Tulsa, OK 04-27-08
    B. Yeats Tulsa, OK 04-27-08 Listener Since 2005
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "don't waste your book credit"

    I was hoping for a good laugh when I purchased this book, but it was a waste of a credit. She is not funny, her storys are really boring, and her voice is horrible to listen to for long periods of time.

    8 of 15 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Mariah Fox 01-12-17
    Mariah Fox 01-12-17
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Love Chelsea, books just okay"

    I find her shows a lot funnier than I found this book. Not sure why.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    cmurray 12-15-16
    cmurray 12-15-16 Member Since 2016
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    "Chelsea's dad"

    I don't think anything could make me happier then Chelsea's dad dialogue. Bought this when it came out and then just got the audio version – such a treat.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Brittany 10-14-16
    Brittany 10-14-16 Member Since 2016
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    "Narration was distracting to say the LEAST"

    First off, I'm fan of Chelsea Handler I was excited to hear her read out loud what I fully assumed would be stories & anecdotes told in the same comedic delivery she's known for-- some people love her way of taking, others really don't. Even her normal conversations can be described as an almost constant audible eye roll, whether she's happy or pissed it's just "this is all stupid so it's good I don't care much" type of humor. BUT NO. It was like she was reading her book to an elementary class of 6 year olds & trying to pass it off as a dr. Seuss story-- or the way some people read aloud really horrible corny speeches/toasts that have very fake reflective thoughts that sound very "gee whiz, golly gosh darn!" that immediately gives away the lack of real ness.

    I couldn't really pay attention to ANY of these stories because it was SO WEIRD hearing Chelsea, of all people, do a Disney storybook narrator voice to stories of teenage drinking & whatever else she talked about (like I said, didn't actually hear much over the cartoony voice.) If she had read them exactly as she probably heard it in her head when writing, it would've been very true to her comedy & style. I kept thinking I'd either get used to it, or that maybe she'd loosen up a bit or mature her voice as she got older in her memories but no such luck.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Laura Wright 07-29-16 Member Since 2015
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    "funny"

    Very comical I laughed so hard. definitely not political correct so if that stuff offends you don't read it.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Mike A 06-08-16
    Mike A 06-08-16 Member Since 2014
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    "this book sucks"

    tired of her liberal cap she is funny and should leave politics out of it

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    michelle durrenberger 05-20-16
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    "Very disappointing"
    Would you try another book from Chelsea Handler and/or Chelsea Handler?

    No I will probably not try another book from Chelsea Handler, this was not at all what I was expecting


    Has Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea turned you off from other books in this genre?

    yes


    What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

    disappointment


    Any additional comments?

    no

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Claudy 05-05-16
    Claudy 05-05-16 Member Since 2016
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    "Hilarious"

    I bought the book a few years ago and I finally finished it thanks to audible. Her stories are too funny can't wait to hear My Horizontal Life

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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