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Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea | [Chelsea Handler]

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

In this wickedly honest new work, Chelsea Handler casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date - including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.
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Publisher's Summary

In My Horizontal Life, actress and stand-up comedian Chelsea Handler boldly recounted her one-night stands - the good, the bad, and the disastrous. In this wickedly honest new work, she casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date - including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.

Whether it's a vacation with her dad during which he tells airline staff they're a honeymoon couple in order to get an upgrade, or her elaborate attempts to convince her third-grade classmates that she's starring in a Private Benjamin sequel, Chelsea lets it rip in these relentlessly entertaining essays. Displaying the candor and irresistible turn of phrase that have earned her a recurring stint as a correspondent on The Tonight Show as well as her own E! series, Chelsea Lately, this deliciously skewed collection is a guilty pleasure.

©2008 Chelsea Handler; (P)2008 Simon and Schuster, Inc.

What the Critics Say

"Chelsea Handler is a terrific comedian and a hilarious writer. (Jay Leno)
"Chelsea Handler writes like Judy Blume, if Judy Blume were into vodka, Ecstasy, and sleeping with midgets and nineteen-year-olds." (Jennifer Weiner, best-selling author of In Her Shoes)
"There's something suspiciously sophisticated about how [Handler's] jokes line up that suggests the moral austerity of a comic not of [Joan] Rivers' bad-girl school: Tina Fey." (New York Times)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.0 (2070 )
5 star
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4.0 (1180 )
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Story
4.3 (1176 )
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3 star
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2 star
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1 star
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Performance
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  •  
    Debbie Austin, TX, United States 02-09-10
    Debbie Austin, TX, United States 02-09-10 Member Since 2005
    HELPFUL VOTES
    24
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    20
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    3
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    Overall
    "Funny in some parts but crass"

    I found a lot of this book to be obnoxious. I laughed in parts, but, it was often pretty mean, gross, offensive, or crude humor.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Some Girl Denver, CO 08-01-08
    Some Girl Denver, CO 08-01-08 Member Since 2007

    Gina

    HELPFUL VOTES
    2
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    5
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    "Dud."

    I was disappointed with this download. I noticed it was in the top 10, wanted something lighthearted, and missed it in this book. Handler is not funny. She got a few snorts out of me, no LOLllers. She comes across, rather than funny, as bitchy, grating, and mean.

    Maybe that's her MO in standup. Some of you may like that brand of vodka in comedy.

    But for me, my recommendation is to use your credit elsewhere.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kimberly 08-21-15
    Kimberly 08-21-15 Member Since 2015
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    8
    4
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    Story
    "First Encounter with Miss Handler"

    This is the first time that I have ever heard, red, or even seen Chelsea Handler… I can tell already that this is going to be a Love/Love relationship... Also the fact that she is told a story towards the end about a "little person" named Kimmy… And I am a 6 foot five NON-little person named Kimmy… I am naturally intrigued! 5 Spoons! My highest rating!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    maureen 08-17-15
    maureen 08-17-15 Member Since 2015
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    "Very entertaining!!!!"

    Loved the honesty the humor. Most of all the heart. Great job Miss Chelsea!! Would recommend to anyone with a sense of humor.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    J 08-05-15
    J 08-05-15
    ratings
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    8
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    Story
    "Love!"

    I've read this book twice and it still makes me laugh. Love Chelsea Handler so much!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    heidi 07-07-15
    heidi 07-07-15 Member Since 2015
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    4
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    "LOVE Chelsea Handler. "

    Her books are the best! They always make me laugh out loud. I am always smiling when listening to her.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    SHANNON BOEHM 07-06-15 Member Since 2015
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    1
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    "Funny"

    This is a great book! I enjoyed it very much. She is a funny story teller.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    KGLP host/producer & traveling therapist. 07-01-15 Member Since 2015

    Traveling therapist listening to AUDIBLE books while driving to far areas. Also host/produce radio show on KGLP 91.7 on staying positive!!

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "O.K. audio comedy story telling by Handler"

    Ok story by Handler.. Miss her show & stand up..This was ok. I feel that watching her mannerism whild telling jokes add to the entertainment. But, this audible story was "o.k."

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Rashad Martin 06-27-15 Member Since 2014
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    2
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    "Funny as f!#@!"

    I listened to this audio book twice and laughed even harder the second time. Chelsea has great stories and tells them hilariously.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    sandi sandman 06-01-15 Member Since 2014
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    5
    3
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    "Great medicine for a broken heart."

    Laughed and laughed and laughed so much I looked like a crazy person driving a car.
    Can't wait to listen to the other one.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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