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Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea | [Chelsea Handler]

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

In this wickedly honest new work, Chelsea Handler casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date - including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.
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Publisher's Summary

In My Horizontal Life, actress and stand-up comedian Chelsea Handler boldly recounted her one-night stands - the good, the bad, and the disastrous. In this wickedly honest new work, she casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date - including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.

Whether it's a vacation with her dad during which he tells airline staff they're a honeymoon couple in order to get an upgrade, or her elaborate attempts to convince her third-grade classmates that she's starring in a Private Benjamin sequel, Chelsea lets it rip in these relentlessly entertaining essays. Displaying the candor and irresistible turn of phrase that have earned her a recurring stint as a correspondent on The Tonight Show as well as her own E! series, Chelsea Lately, this deliciously skewed collection is a guilty pleasure.

©2008 Chelsea Handler; (P)2008 Simon and Schuster, Inc.

What the Critics Say

"Chelsea Handler is a terrific comedian and a hilarious writer. (Jay Leno)
"Chelsea Handler writes like Judy Blume, if Judy Blume were into vodka, Ecstasy, and sleeping with midgets and nineteen-year-olds." (Jennifer Weiner, best-selling author of In Her Shoes)
"There's something suspiciously sophisticated about how [Handler's] jokes line up that suggests the moral austerity of a comic not of [Joan] Rivers' bad-girl school: Tina Fey." (New York Times)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

3.9 (1594 )
5 star
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3.9 (771 )
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4.2 (772 )
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3 star
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2 star
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1 star
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Performance
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  •  
    Bethann Somers Point, NJ, USA 10-17-08
    Bethann Somers Point, NJ, USA 10-17-08
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "FUNNY AS HELL!!!!!:)"

    I literally laugh out loud when I listen to this book! It's actually embarrassing when you are around people who have no idea what the hell you are laughing at! LOL I LOVE Chelsea and all the crazy things she gets herself into! I HIGHLY RECOMMMEND this book if you need a good laugh or to lighten you mood...it WILL do that! I WANT MORE CHELSEA!!!! BRING IT!!!!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Debbie Austin, TX, United States 02-09-10
    Debbie Austin, TX, United States 02-09-10 Member Since 2005
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Funny in some parts but crass"

    I found a lot of this book to be obnoxious. I laughed in parts, but, it was often pretty mean, gross, offensive, or crude humor.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Gina Erie, CO, USA 08-01-08
    Gina Erie, CO, USA 08-01-08 Member Since 2007
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Dud."

    I was disappointed with this download. I noticed it was in the top 10, wanted something lighthearted, and missed it in this book. Handler is not funny. She got a few snorts out of me, no LOLllers. She comes across, rather than funny, as bitchy, grating, and mean.

    Maybe that's her MO in standup. Some of you may like that brand of vodka in comedy.

    But for me, my recommendation is to use your credit elsewhere.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Walkinonsunshine Elkton, MD 12-17-13
    Walkinonsunshine Elkton, MD 12-17-13
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    "Hilarious!"

    Witty and raunchy can best describe Chelsea Handler AND her book. Not only was the story absolutely enjoyable, but her narration is what truly makes the audio version of this book so great. I've read the book and listened to it, and I must say I almost prefer the audio version which is rare for me. I recommend this to anyone who is a fan of Chelsea or her type of comedy, and I will certainly listen again (I've already listened a few times at that!).

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Brianna Apple Valley, MN, United States 08-14-13
    Brianna Apple Valley, MN, United States 08-14-13
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Laughed so hard I cried!!!"
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    Yes I would recommend this audiobook and have multiple times!


    Any additional comments?

    I bought this because my grandfather passed away and I needed something to get my mind off of everything and lets just say depression and tears turned to laughing so hard I had to turn it off so I could catch my breath.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kelsey Lanark, ON, Canada 08-09-13
    Kelsey Lanark, ON, Canada 08-09-13
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    "Always hilarious!"
    What made the experience of listening to Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea the most enjoyable?

    I loved the fact that it was narrated by Chelsea Handler herself! I read the book before but it was so much better listening to her tell the stories.


    What did you like best about this story?

    I loved hearing about her family and her as a kid


    Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    I have read this book before but the audio book made me laugh even harder


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Caitlyn ERIE, PA, United States 07-29-13
    Caitlyn ERIE, PA, United States 07-29-13 Member Since 2011
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Eh...."

    The stories were very entertaining, but the book isn't well written. She recycles punch lines and tongue-in-cheek descriptors way too often for such a short book.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Melissa Dayton, OH, United States 05-29-13
    Melissa Dayton, OH, United States 05-29-13 Member Since 2010

    Counselor with eclectic taste, I enjoy all types of fiction, dark, strange and twisted things, humor and explicitly.

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Laughed out loud, a lot, and didn't care..."
    Where does Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    Way Up There... TOPS!


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea?

    Well.... how can I put this? The part that referred to the anatomy of man...LOL


    What about Chelsea Handler’s performance did you like?

    Her delivery is great, as always, raunchy yup... and I love her lack of a filter


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    Several moments had me crossing my legs (wink)... I was laughing so hard


    Any additional comments?

    If your a prude pass it by, If you want to laugh out loud don't!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Siska murrieta, CA, United States 05-14-13
    Siska murrieta, CA, United States 05-14-13 Member Since 2011
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    "A long listen, for very little reward....."
    Would you try another book from Chelsea Handler and/or Chelsea Handler?

    No, I probably will stay clear from any books written by Chelsea Handler.
    Have no issues getting a book with her as a narrator, she truly did do a good job there.


    Has Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea turned you off from other books in this genre?

    No, but it will probably be a while before I order another autobiography style book from the entertainment section.


    Who would you have cast as narrator instead of Chelsea Handler?

    Chelsea Handler was the perfect narrator for this book, it is just a pity that most of the context came over as a self indulgent rant.


    You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

    There are some parts in the book in which you can finally detect her brutally honest,funny and unafraid personality. But they are to far and few in-between the other parts that all come over as self absorbed, eager to name drop & whinny.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Inna Pasalis USA 05-04-13
    Inna Pasalis USA 05-04-13 Member Since 2012
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Just OK"
    Is there anything you would change about this book?

    I just expected to laugh more…


    Do you think Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?

    I did not think this one was that great, so I wouldn't be interested in follow up.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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