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Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea Audiobook

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

In this wickedly honest new work, Chelsea Handler casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date - including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.
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Publisher's Summary

In My Horizontal Life, actress and stand-up comedian Chelsea Handler boldly recounted her one-night stands - the good, the bad, and the disastrous. In this wickedly honest new work, she casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date - including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.

Whether it's a vacation with her dad during which he tells airline staff they're a honeymoon couple in order to get an upgrade, or her elaborate attempts to convince her third-grade classmates that she's starring in a Private Benjamin sequel, Chelsea lets it rip in these relentlessly entertaining essays. Displaying the candor and irresistible turn of phrase that have earned her a recurring stint as a correspondent on The Tonight Show as well as her own E! series, Chelsea Lately, this deliciously skewed collection is a guilty pleasure.

©2008 Chelsea Handler; (P)2008 Simon and Schuster, Inc.

What the Critics Say

"Chelsea Handler is a terrific comedian and a hilarious writer. (Jay Leno)
"Chelsea Handler writes like Judy Blume, if Judy Blume were into vodka, Ecstasy, and sleeping with midgets and nineteen-year-olds." (Jennifer Weiner, best-selling author of In Her Shoes)
"There's something suspiciously sophisticated about how [Handler's] jokes line up that suggests the moral austerity of a comic not of [Joan] Rivers' bad-girl school: Tina Fey." (New York Times)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.0 (2339 )
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4.3 (1407 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Erica Cookeville, TN, USA 12-04-09
    Erica Cookeville, TN, USA 12-04-09
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Left me wanting MORE!"

    I was so excited that Chelsea Handler was the narrator of this book and she did not disappoint. I plan to get a copy for everyone in my family. It was absolutely hilarious! It left me wanting more. I'm anxiously awaiting her next book. Fabulous job!!!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kelly 08-16-09
    Kelly 08-16-09
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "So funny!"

    This book was hilarious, Chelsea Handler is so funny. I could not stop laughing.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Toni San Francisco, CA, USA 07-21-09
    Toni San Francisco, CA, USA 07-21-09
    ratings
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    1
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    "Cruel and mean humor is hard to listen to."

    I guess differ from Chelsea from tone/style of humor. The drollness quips hurt my ears.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Cari Toledo, OH, USA 02-15-09
    Cari Toledo, OH, USA 02-15-09
    HELPFUL VOTES
    2
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    "i hope there's a chaser..."

    Great job Chelsea, I very much enjoyed your book, but much more to hear you read it. It just made the experience even more enjoyable - what a funny gal ! The whole transaction of downloading books from Audible was way too easy and the customer assistance I needed was fast and direct - thank you all -
    This was a good read, rather - listen, because I really felt during her youth, I could have been there with her - I was even able to place myself in her shoes a couple times...scarey. And who knew one could be " face raped " . I had fun going on your visit to France and decided that dining with " my tickets" on table won't happen nor will I get a massage anywhere that doesn't give " happy endings" . I had fun and now I am off to order my next book -

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Erika Colton, NY, USA 01-08-09
    Erika Colton, NY, USA 01-08-09
    HELPFUL VOTES
    29
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    11
    8
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    "a clever title, but a real disappointment"

    i thought this might be on par with david sedaris or hollis gillespie. you know, funny and insightful stories told by people you wish you could befriend.
    i did chuckle a couple of times, but overall i find her humor shallow, grating, and lacking in redeeming qualities.

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Anne 09-02-08
    Anne 09-02-08
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Not very funny"

    I was expecting at least a few chuckles but the book was rather slow-moving and vapid. Wish I hadn't spent my credit on it.

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Bill 09-02-08
    Bill 09-02-08 Member Since 2016
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    REVIEWS
    59
    1
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    "Funny Lady Great book"

    Buy it!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Tim Sunnyvale, CA, USA 08-09-08
    Tim Sunnyvale, CA, USA 08-09-08
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    1
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    "A must!"

    If you love Chelsea Handler and her show Chelsea Lately, this audiobook will not disappoint. I loved that not only was she writer, but also the narrator. Her different voices that she uses for different characters in her book are hysterical! She is sarcastic and funny and a great writer. Once I started listening, I couldn't stop!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Martie Lakeside, CA, USA 07-23-08
    Martie Lakeside, CA, USA 07-23-08 Member Since 2015
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    REVIEWS
    1
    1
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    "I get Chelsea..."

    I think you have to have a certain type of sense of humor to enjoy this book. It's probably not for everyone. For me, it was perfect. I often found myself cracking up by myself in my cubicle, pulling over on the freeway because I was laughing so hard I was crying, and pausing my ipod in the airport so I didn't look like a crazy person when I started to laugh aloud. I didn’t really know who Chelsea Handler was until I downloaded this book, but now I'm DVR'ing her show every night. Can a book be too funny?...this one almost is.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Edward Somerville, MA, USA 07-22-08
    Edward Somerville, MA, USA 07-22-08
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    2
    1
    Overall
    "If you enjoy Chelsea Lately..."

    ...then listen to this book! If you do not enjoy Chelsea Handler's style of humor, then go find something else to listen too. Duh. I laughed out loud multiple times, and many of my peers at the gym think I am crazy, I'm sure. Regardless, I did enjoy this book. The key to Chelsea's humor is: (almost) nothing is off limits.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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