• Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

  • By: Chelsea Handler
  • Narrated by: Chelsea Handler
  • Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
  • 4.2 out of 5 stars (3,530 ratings)

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Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea  By  cover art

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

By: Chelsea Handler
Narrated by: Chelsea Handler
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Publisher's summary

In My Horizontal Life, actress and stand-up comedian Chelsea Handler boldly recounted her one-night stands - the good, the bad, and the disastrous. In this wickedly honest new work, she casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date - including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.

Whether it's a vacation with her dad during which he tells airline staff they're a honeymoon couple in order to get an upgrade, or her elaborate attempts to convince her third-grade classmates that she's starring in a Private Benjamin sequel, Chelsea lets it rip in these relentlessly entertaining essays. Displaying the candor and irresistible turn of phrase that have earned her a recurring stint as a correspondent on The Tonight Show as well as her own E! series, Chelsea Lately, this deliciously skewed collection is a guilty pleasure.

©2008 Chelsea Handler (P)2008 Simon and Schuster, Inc.

Critic reviews

"Chelsea Handler is a terrific comedian and a hilarious writer. (Jay Leno)
"Chelsea Handler writes like Judy Blume, if Judy Blume were into vodka, Ecstasy, and sleeping with midgets and nineteen-year-olds." (Jennifer Weiner, best-selling author of In Her Shoes)
"There's something suspiciously sophisticated about how [Handler's] jokes line up that suggests the moral austerity of a comic not of [Joan] Rivers' bad-girl school: Tina Fey." ( New York Times)

What listeners say about Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 4 out of 5 stars
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  • 4 out of 5 stars
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  • 3 Stars
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  • 1 Stars
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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Cracked Me Up!!!

I love her crass humor. She had me cracking up.
I cleaned my entire house while listening to her book. Not for the squeamish.

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

O.K. audio comedy story telling by Handler

Ok story by Handler.. Miss her show & stand up..This was ok. I feel that watching her mannerism whild telling jokes add to the entertainment. But, this audible story was "o.k."

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Boss

I hate doing these reviews. But love the book!... And I tried to just submit this and was told i need at least 15 words.... What a dilemma...

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

FRIKKEN HILARIOUS!

I LOVE CHELSA - SHES A FRIKKEN ROIT!! IF YOU HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR - YOU WILL LOVE LOVE THIS BOOK

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

smart, dry, ramblings from a comedic powerhouse

I have to say that Chelsea Handler brings a refreshing take on life on life's terms, by abandoning PC culture and offending just about everybody... Exactly what I look for in humor. If you're easily offended... oh, I wouldn't recommend it. if you want to laugh until you cry, and would like to relate to someone's inner ramblings while questioning your integrity then don't hesitate on giving this a go...
from her first experiences with her vagina, to her DUI, or obsession with little people, Chelsea's dry wit and knee slapping humor is enough to put any modern comedian to shame. She is unbiased in her biases and do I agree with everything she says? No. Hell no. But I'm laughing all the way through and it makes me think of how I would react in the same situation that she brings to life. from her whack-a-doo family, to her relationship with coworkers, Chelsea Handler is a real person and it's endearing to here A Memoir that is not littered with celebrity gossip and hoity toity stuck up complaining.
this is my favorite of all of her books, with Uganda be kidding me as number two. I really wish Chelsea would have narrated my horizontal life, because I adore her early books. Anyway, get your kaslapuss in order and listen.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars

Are you there Vodka, it's me Chelsea?

Funny as usually, the stories are short and hilarious. It's nice to hear the author read their own book.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Funny Funny LOL

What made the experience of listening to Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea the most enjoyable?

Chelsea's narration and funny life stories

Would you be willing to try another book from Chelsea Handler? Why or why not?

Yes, already have

Which scene was your favorite?

Her trip to Costa Rica with her father

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

Made me LOL a few times - got some weird looks on the train because of it

Any additional comments?

Chelsea is hysterical; the book could have had more of a story line - but the stories it did have were def funny.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • NC
  • 03-23-09

Raunchy fun

I was disappointed that Chelsea didn't read this book, but the reader did a good job. It's a tacky read, but very fun.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • AT
  • 04-16-22

My favorite

This is my favorite book! I have listened to it so many times and shared it w/my friends who also love it.. it’s just so good! Hilarious!!

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Funny

Chelsea always delivers. A laugh out loud funny book. I enjoyed it thoroughly. Give it a go. It will be glad you did.

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