Because Our Fathers Lied

A Memoir of Truth and Family, from Vietnam to Today

By: Craig McNamara

Narrated by: Keith Sellon-Wright, Craig McNamara

Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins

Publisher's summary

This unforgettable father and son story confronts the legacy of the Vietnam War across two generations: “an important book that should be read by every American” (Ron Kovic, Vietnam Veteran and author of Born on the Fourth of July).

Craig McNamara came of age in the political tumult and upheaval of the late 60s. While Craig McNamara would grow up to take part in anti-war demonstrations, his father, Robert McNamara, served as John F. Kennedy's Secretary of Defense and the architect of the Vietnam War. This searching and revealing memoir offers an intimate picture of one father and son at pivotal periods in American history. Because Our Fathers Lied is more than a family story—it is a story about America.

Before Robert McNamara joined Kennedy's cabinet, he was an executive who helped turn around Ford Motor Company. Known for his tremendous competence and professionalism, McNamara came to symbolize "the best and the brightest." Craig, his youngest child and only son, struggled in his father's shadow. When he ultimately fails his draft board physical, Craig decides to travel by motorcycle across Central and South America, learning more about the art of agriculture and making what he defines as an honest living. By the book's conclusion, Craig McNamara is farming walnuts in Northern California and coming to terms with his father's legacy.

Because Our Fathers Lied tells the story of the war from the perspective of a single, unforgettable American family.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2022 Craig McNamara (P)2022 Little, Brown & Company

Critic reviews

“Moving and courageous… a complicated man comes into intimate view, as does the ‘mixture of love and rage’ at the heart of their relationship… Through his own personal story of disappointment and disillusionment, McNamara captures an intergenerational conflict and a journey of moral identity.”—Adrienne Westenfeld, Esquire

“McNamara’s staggeringly heartfelt debut memoir is the tale of a son’s lifelong yearning for his father to look him squarely in the eye and tell him the unvarnished truth, regardless of the scale of his missteps or regrets. In that sense it’s a universally relatable story since countless parents shield their children from hard facts and struggle to be present.”—Jessica Zach, San Francisco Chronicle

“That Craig McNamara has survived, and thrived, and given us this staggering book, is something of a miracle.”—Joe Klein, Washington Post

Interesting story.

Craig was a product of the time. I can understand the stress that must have been between him and his father and Craig's effort to create his own life.

disappointing

As a military brat of that era who confronted the same issues with my father, I was disappointed that he never "had it out" with his dad. Of course his dad was clearly able to compartmentalize -- a trait evidently shared through the generations. There is no way I would still be alive had I decorated my room as he did. I wonder if his war-criminal father every cared about any one any thing ever. I hope he's experiencing unending torment, where ever he is.

not an expose on Robert McNamara

This is not an expose on Robert McNamara or his legacy, but rather the feelings of a son watching shadows on the cave walls. i bought this because i wanted to read what craig had to say before going to his presentation/book signing at his alma mater. i listened to the first 7 chapters where Craig describes a sheltered childhood and the process of discovering who his father is from the polite or implied actions and remarks of others. coming from a political family myself, if you are going to burn the house down by going public, this is more like setting the trash can on fire in your bedroom and hoping it catches the curtain. maybe im just a jaded millennial who has only known the shocking politcal content of post 9/11 through Trump and traveled a but too much, or i've read too much on the censored history of US political economy and its military project over the past century and expected some real dirt. or i took the title too literally. it is good for what it is, a memoir of a son who grew up in the shadow of political greats, but it isnt about the lies his father told.

Unfair blame

Author seems to blame his father exclusively for the war in Vietnam and all its atrocities when his dad was but a cog in conducting a war created by Ike and JFK and continued by Nixon.

Outstanding book

I think this book describes how many fathers from the World War II generation could be devastatingly emotionally distant in certain areas of their life. The authors difficult school years and eventual conquering of his learning disability is interesting. His motorcycle trip into South America shows how young boys take risks that could result in death. And the incredible beauty of the south American countries. He did not Escape or dull his senses with drug abuse. He just struggled to find his place in the world.

A quest of a son to understand his famous father.

Craig McNamara grew up in the aura of Camelot and the Armageddon of Vietnam. He thought the keys to understanding were held by his father. Although he could never quite find answers through his famous father, he discovered wisdom and understanding in his family, his community, and the land.

Interesting book from a spoiled elite

First I will say this was an interesting personal story about the tragic event and effects of the Vietnam War. It was a good read from an unusual perspective on the disaster of the US involvement in that conflict. Robert McNamara certainly bears much of the blame for it with many others without a doubt, Any historian or history buff will enjoy this story from the self tortured son of the defense secretary. That being said I took a strong personal dislike of Craig McNamara while listening to the book. His self imposed and ridiculous notion that he personally bears some kind of guilt or responsibility for his fathers actions is self serving pity nonsense. His way of “ dealing” with this guilt is by blowing off an elite education at Stanford, running around South America screwing around, courting a married woman and admiring communist dictators like Fidel Castro. Then he returns after his screw you America tour and proceeds to help himself to a great public education at UC Davis. Then ends up a clearly well off organic farmer a stones throw from Napa. Tough life. I grew up in the area and still live not far from Craig McNamara in the Sacramento Valley. I would have given away my left arm for his opportunities and experience. But my WW2 generation father was not the Secretary of Defense. So you work with what you have I guess. I always struggle with understanding people like the author who criticize everything about America while that very society allowed him to become and succeed at exactly what he wanted. I doubt that opportunity would have been available in Cuba, China or any other socialist paradise, Craig McNamara’s blind spot about his place in life is as big as his fathers was without the world wide effects. Craig makes me understand why my kids roll their eyes and say “ok boomer”. However that being said I am encouraging my 21 year old son, a history major right now at Cal State to read it. I ca’t wait to hear his perspective.

What’s the lesson

I read to learn and / or be entertained - neither from this book . What son doesn’t have issues with his father growing up but what son would publicly trash his father , especially in light of how many times he claimed to love him .

In terms of gaining knowledge about the 60 ‘s and the vietnam war zero knowledge gained . If interested it that read halberdtam or sheenhan .

poor craigie

author sure did have a bad time of it. really can't say much more, hope gets enough rain.

Disappointing.

Strongly disliked the main character. Weak, whining, entitled, pathetic. I got tired of listening to him blame his father.