Mating in Captivity

Reconciling the Erotic & the Domestic

By: Esther Perel

Narrated by: Esther Perel

Esther Perel takes on tough questions, grappling with the obstacles and anxieties that arise when our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. She invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.

In her 20 years of clinical experience, Perel has treated hundreds of couples whose home lives are empty of passion. They describe relationships that are open and loving, yet sexually dull. What is going on?

In this explosively original book, Perel explains that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor is antithetical to erotic desire for both men and women. Sexual excitement doesn't always play by the rules of good citizenship. It is politically incorrect. It thrives on power plays, unfair advantages, and the space between self and other. More exciting, playful, even poetic sex is possible, but first we must kick egalitarian ideals and emotional housekeeping out of our bedrooms.

While Mating in Captivity shows why the domestic realm can feel like a cage, Perel's take on bedroom dynamics promises to liberate, enchant, and provoke. Flinging the doors open on erotic life and domesticity, she invites us to put the "X" back in sex.

©2006 Esther Perel (P)2006 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic reviews

"As revelatory as it is straightforward....Perel sanctions fantasy and play and offers the estranged modern couple a unique richness of experience." (Publishers Weekly)

Literally every person should experience this book

Relationships in the modern world are tough. I’ve felt a lot of confusion lately about how to live out modern values of equality and respect when my dating experiences have only affirmed that these don’t necessarily lead to success in attracting a mate and partner.

For me, this book exposed the opposition of love and desire in a way that was encouraging and intellectually responsible, while also discussing tools for reconciling an enlightened morality with a primordial sex drive.

Blew My Mind

Esther shares a very interesting, intellectually stimulating, open minded, thought provoking, strait forward, honest perspective that challenges western conventional relationship ideology. This book is worth it for the extremely powerful, well articulated conclusion in the last minute alone.

incredibly helpful

Provides such real and concrete help for making relationships better. Absolutely wonderful. Thank you Esther.

A must read for all!

I enjoyed this book. very informative. in my opinion a must read! I cant wait to put her suggestions into action!

I believe it should be read in its entirety.

There are many examples of intimacy. I don't think just one section should be considered, but all that is presented. Many of the examples did not pertain to me, but showed me the thought process of the opposite sex or situation. Each person has there own issues. Consider, perhaps, what parts of the book might help you to search to understand how you and your partner can achieve what is needed.

A Must Read

Thank you for the therapy session in the privacy of my own space. Enlightenment, Grateful

insightful

loved this book and all of the perspective it gives. it's worth the listen even if your not having problems.

Very good

The author is very knowledgeable. The book is never boring. Very interesting! I highly recommend!

Such a great book!

I first saw Esther at Ted X talks. I fell in love with her perspective immediately. I loved this book, made a lot of sense. I would recommend it to anyone who want to improve and work on their erotic life in the relationship. This is a must for the modern couple and for the preservation of Eros in our busy and sometimes overwhelming family lifes.

Incredible

Provides incredible insight on creative ways to understand the potential hang ups that exist on the erotic lack in a marriage