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Paddle Your Own Canoe: One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living | [Nick Offerman]

Paddle Your Own Canoe: One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living

Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman - who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking - he runs his own woodshop - Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois, to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally.
Regular Price:$27.97
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Publisher's Summary

Parks and Recreation actor Nick Offerman shares his humorous fulminations on life, manliness, meat, and much more in his first book.

Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman - who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking - he runs his own woodshop - Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois - "I grew up literally in the middle of a cornfield" - to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally. It also offers hard-bitten battle strategies in the arenas of manliness, love, style, religion, woodworking, and outdoor recreation, among many other savory entrees.

A mix of amusing anecdotes, opinionated lessons and rants, sprinkled with offbeat gaiety, Paddle Your Own Canoe will not only tickle readers pink but may also rouse them to put down their smart phones, study a few sycamore leaves, and maybe even handcraft (and paddle) their own canoes.

©2013 Nick Offerman (P)2013 Penguin

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.2 (776 )
5 star
 (405)
4 star
 (200)
3 star
 (98)
2 star
 (37)
1 star
 (36)
Overall
4.0 (734 )
5 star
 (348)
4 star
 (183)
3 star
 (112)
2 star
 (50)
1 star
 (41)
Story
4.5 (734 )
5 star
 (514)
4 star
 (141)
3 star
 (46)
2 star
 (14)
1 star
 (19)
Performance
Sort by:
  •  
    Christine Lewis Graysville, TN, United States 02-06-14
    Christine Lewis Graysville, TN, United States 02-06-14 Member Since 2012
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    18
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Merely a Soap Box"
    Would you try another book from Nick Offerman and/or Nick Offerman?

    No


    What was most disappointing about Nick Offerman’s story?

    I actually only made it through about an hour of the book. I was looking forward to listening to a comedy, as I usually choose pretty heavy books to read. Unfortunately, this book was more of a soap box than anything else. Within the first hour, he pontificated on at least 3 or 4 very heated, political topics. I was hoping for something much lighter, but all this did was stress me out. I very rarely quit books. I made it through Moby Dick, so come on.


    What three words best describe Nick Offerman’s voice?

    I actually liked his reading voice. I'd describe it as deep, real, and engaging.


    What character would you cut from Paddle Your Own Canoe?

    NA


    Any additional comments?

    If you want a political commentary, go for it. If you want a light comedy, steer clear.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jay Williamstown, WV, United States 02-05-14
    Jay Williamstown, WV, United States 02-05-14 Member Since 2011
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    31
    5
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "The Adult Ron Swanson..."
    Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?

    Would not recommend. I don't think I need all the profanity to understand his life. I would suggest if someone would like to know Nick Offerman without the expletives, watch "Parks and Recreation".


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    Nick has been able to mold his character and his life basically into one over time.


    What aspect of Nick Offerman’s performance would you have changed?

    As I enjoyed the giggles while he read some of his more favorite times, his autobiography would have meant more if he had respect for the listener.


    Was Paddle Your Own Canoe worth the listening time?

    Yes.


    Any additional comments?

    This has been one of the lesser autos I have read. If one wants more of "Ron Swanson" than what you are getting from television, this would be the more adult version.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    eric Croydon, Pa, United States 01-11-14
    eric Croydon, Pa, United States 01-11-14 Member Since 2013
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    9
    6
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    3
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Nice story"

    This is a good story of Nick's life and his philosophy on life. He, clearly, has strong opinions on how one (or at least how he) should live his life. But he conveys those opinions in such a non preachy, down to earth, way that I would recommend this book very highly.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Elizabeth Paganini Lake Arrowhead, Ca United States 12-20-13
    Elizabeth Paganini Lake Arrowhead, Ca United States 12-20-13 Member Since 2013
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    1
    1
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "This is why America hates Hollywood"
    Would you try another book from Nick Offerman and/or Nick Offerman?

    No


    Would you ever listen to anything by Nick Offerman again?

    No


    Which character – as performed by Nick Offerman – was your favorite?

    He is a talented voice actor


    Any additional comments?

    This is a story of a narcissistic, immoral actor with a charmed life. the story has bits like: my top ten intoxicants. If you are into this sort of thing, this is the book for you. the voice work is great and some stories are funny. Overall, there was nothing uplifting to take from it. The tone was negative, crass and self indulgent.

    1 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Nicole D. Stagg Salt Lake 12-19-13
    Nicole D. Stagg Salt Lake 12-19-13

    Nicole

    ratings
    REVIEWS
    1
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Solid stuff here, real solid"
    If you could sum up Paddle Your Own Canoe in three words, what would they be?

    better than expected


    What did you like best about this story?

    life lessons


    Which character – as performed by Nick Offerman – was your favorite?

    The priest


    If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?

    the biography of Mr. Offerman


    Any additional comments?

    He touched on subjects I didn't think he would, like religion and politics a lot, but I enjoyed it.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    W. Perry Hall Mobile, AL 12-17-13
    W. Perry Hall Mobile, AL 12-17-13 Member Since 2012

    S. Quire

    HELPFUL VOTES
    213
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    454
    97
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    7
    5
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Ron Swanson, Just Another Hollywood Smarta.."

    I thought "Paddle Your Own Canoe" would be funny. The book may have been funny had Nick Offerman omitted his pompous lecture in which he laughs that the faith/beliefs of the religious of the world are purely founded on fairy tales.

    The primary point of all this hilarity is his understandable detestation of self-serving politicians and charlatans who quote the Bible as if it were law, who attempt to force upon the public their religious beliefs as a part of political platforms and positions and who otherwise profit in the name of their higher power.

    I agree with what appears to me to the chief *point* of his mini-lecture; these religion-profiteers, panderers and politicos also sicken me. I don't need an actor/comic to point out the obvious by laying a sermon on me (ironically) mocking religious faith as nothing but bullshit based on fairy tales, chuckling that the Christian religion (mine) is composed of legions of mindless sycophants to a sort of comic-book superhero Son of God (Swanson's label).

    Why would Megan Mullally's husband need to ruin his big-shot book by taking potshots (near the book's beginning) at an almost certain majority of his target audience (white males, age 25-54)?

    Apparently it's true: no matter where you come from (be it Oklahoma City or Minooka, IL), initiation into the Tinseltown fraternity/sorority of "acting" intellectuals includes learning to loathe religion and God-fearing people and to ridicule them and their institutions by brandishing biased generalizations in service to a "high-minded" bigotry, Hollywood-style.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    David Gray, ME, United States 12-16-13
    David Gray, ME, United States 12-16-13 Member Since 2010
    HELPFUL VOTES
    6
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    39
    5
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "This book sucks"
    What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

    Nothing


    Would you ever listen to anything by Nick Offerman again?

    No


    How could the performance have been better?

    Make it worth listening to.


    If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from Paddle Your Own Canoe?

    Everything


    Any additional comments?

    The worst book that I have listened to on Audible. A very bad imposter of Anthony Bourdain or Steve Martin. Really worthless.

    1 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Michael Hurst, TX, United States 01-04-14
    Michael Hurst, TX, United States 01-04-14 Member Since 2011
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    18
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Confusingly Awful"
    What would have made Paddle Your Own Canoe better?

    Humor, a point, too many things to list.


    Has Paddle Your Own Canoe turned you off from other books in this genre?

    No, but it has turned me off from other books by Nick Offerman.


    How could the performance have been better?

    The performance is actually pretty good, but then again Offerman is reading his own book. If anyone should do it well, it should be him.


    You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

    There may be some in the second half of the book, but I'm not willing to continue listen on the off chance some exist.


    Any additional comments?

    I'm not a Parks and Recreation fan and had no pre-conceived notion about the character Ron Swanson or of Nick Offerman, so I bought the book primarily based on the description and a 4 star rating. I'm not sure if this book is supposed to be humorous, a guide for living, a memoir, or what. I do know it's horribly boring. Once Offerman quit his rant against organized religion, he goes into telling his life story. Perhaps the book improved in the second half, but I'll never know because I'm not willing to slog through any more.

    0 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Brendan MERIDIAN, ID, United States 12-27-13
    Brendan MERIDIAN, ID, United States 12-27-13 Member Since 2013
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    8
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "It's science."
    What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

    It would be gracious to say that this sounds like the work of the love child of garrison keillor and keith olberman trapped in a recording studio with a thesaurus.


    What could Nick Offerman have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

    Leave diatribes against Christianity to the professionals like Hitchens and Harris. In my opinion, this medium isn't conducive for his brand of humor. (I'm hoping, because this book is frighteningly unfunny)


    You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

    You know what they say.... Nope.


    Any additional comments?

    This was a 10 hour grab for cash, and it worked - i can't get my money or time back.

    0 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Lori Naples, ME, United States 12-10-13
    Lori Naples, ME, United States 12-10-13
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    2
    2
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "waste of time"
    What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

    It would have been better if Nick didn't have such a vitriolic outlook on Christians and Christianity. Ok, we get it you don't like organized religion, but what a real man does is build a bridge and gets over it. This is nothing but typical Hollywood actor pablum, Christians are stupid because we actually believe in true science and believe in a divine creator? I was looking forward to listening to this book, I really was because I WAS a fan of Nick Offerman, until I heard his never ending diatribe on what he thinks a man is. A real man does not join a religion just to get into a girls pants.


    What do you think your next listen will be?

    I tell you i would rather listen to paint dry than to listen to this garbage again. I will listen to "The Long Road" by G. Micheal Hopf next.


    You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

    yes it was free


    Any additional comments?

    Nick should try doing a little research first on the Bible and what people believe instead of a typical Hollywood liberal shooting his mouth off about things he knows nothing about. Hey Nick anyone can make a tree trunk into a table

    1 of 6 people found this review helpful
  • Showing: 31-40 of 42 results PREVIOUS1345NEXT
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  • Amazon Customer
    Harlow Essex England
    7/13/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Nick Offerman isn't Ron Swanson"
    Would you consider the audio edition of Paddle Your Own Canoe to be better than the print version?

    I do not own the printed book, but it appears there is an abundance of visual matierial included within.


    What did you like best about this story?

    Autobiographies read by the author, have those little flourishes that they experienced at the time. Hearing Nick giggle as he repeated events from his past, if it's good enough for the author to laugh at it's fine in my book.


    Which scene did you most enjoy?

    The whole section on belief, in relation to others. The fact people will always confuse a character for an actor and having differing opinions is an almost constant


    If you made a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

    NOT RON SWANSON, the story of woodworker turned actor.


    Any additional comments?

    I highly recommend this to anyone who has enjoyed Nick Offerman's acting.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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