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Paddle Your Own Canoe Audiobook

Paddle Your Own Canoe: One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living

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Publisher's Summary

Parks and Recreation actor Nick Offerman shares his humorous fulminations on life, manliness, meat, and much more in his first book.

Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman - who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking - he runs his own woodshop - Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois - "I grew up literally in the middle of a cornfield" - to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally. It also offers hard-bitten battle strategies in the arenas of manliness, love, style, religion, woodworking, and outdoor recreation, among many other savory entrees.

A mix of amusing anecdotes, opinionated lessons and rants, sprinkled with offbeat gaiety, Paddle Your Own Canoe will not only tickle readers pink but may also rouse them to put down their smart phones, study a few sycamore leaves, and maybe even handcraft (and paddle) their own canoes.

©2013 Nick Offerman (P)2013 Penguin

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

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  •  
    Justin NEW PORT RICHEY, FLORIDA, United States 10-23-13
    Justin NEW PORT RICHEY, FLORIDA, United States 10-23-13 Member Since 2016

    Its a fascinating tale that would begin on may 5th, 1989 in Mease Dunedin hospital and from there the legacy grew. I am adult now.

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    "Ron Swanson"
    If you could sum up Paddle Your Own Canoe in three words, what would they be?

    Funny nonstop listen


    What did you like best about this story?

    It was narrated by nick offerman


    Have you listened to any of Nick Offerman’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

    Just as entertaining as his well written character.


    Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    I laughed and felt his passion for life.


    Any additional comments?

    Please narrate more books nick. Genius.

    7 of 11 people found this review helpful
  •  
    ChrisC 01-02-14
    ChrisC 01-02-14
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    "Don't listen while operating heavy machinery"
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    Yes, any friend with a sense of humor. I've never seen Parks and Recreation before, but this was the funniest [audio]book I've consumed in years. Even my grandmother would probably spit her drink out laughing.


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Paddle Your Own Canoe?

    Nick discussing his high school sweetheart, who happened to be an evangelical Christian.


    What about Nick Offerman’s performance did you like?

    He's telling jokes designed for a deadpan delivery, so it's he'll do a better job of delivering them then you could with your own internal voice if you had read the actual book.


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    Not necessary.


    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Bradley Chattanooga, TN, United States 10-14-13
    Bradley Chattanooga, TN, United States 10-14-13
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    "Nick Offerman isn't Ron Swanson"
    Would you listen to Paddle Your Own Canoe again? Why?

    Yes. It's an enjoyable listen.


    What did you like best about this story?

    The 'fake proposal' story


    Any additional comments?

    Don't expect this to be a bio of Ron Swanson

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    chris 06-20-15
    chris 06-20-15
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    "Dissapointing"
    What disappointed you about Paddle Your Own Canoe?

    I was really hoping for this to be comedic/inspirational but instead it was a pretty boring walk through of his life. Most of it was him talking about how great his family is, with no comedic value. Also, he rails Christians for being narrow minded and hurtful to society because of their judgments. His whole point was believe what you want but don't push it on others. All the while, he is insulting and making fun of sacred Christian practices. I'm not a crazy Christian but I was pretty offended. The hypocrisy was very disappointing. If you don't want me to push my beliefs on others why are you shoving your atheism down my throat and insulting my chosen belief system? Poor show.


    Would you ever listen to anything by Nick Offerman again?

    no


    22 of 37 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jorge Ecuador 02-24-15
    Jorge Ecuador 02-24-15
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    "Nick Offerman comes off as pedantic"
    Would you try another book from Nick Offerman and/or Nick Offerman?

    Niet, I thought this would be fun, much like Tina Fey's, but this is, I guess, for hardcore Offerman fans. This is the first audiobook I didn't finish because I didn't sympathize with the author.


    3 of 5 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Sean Houston, Texas, United States 02-05-15
    Sean Houston, Texas, United States 02-05-15 Member Since 2009

    Say something about yourself!

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    "He keeps referring to it as a humorous book"

    I'm a fan of Parks & Rec. Loved Amy Poehler's book "Yes, Please". Am generally a fan of the Ron Swanson caricature Offerman has played.

    But in the first hour, this book is nothing but is Offerman lecturing the listener about organic foods (he's in favor of them), the joy of meat, and religion (keep your fictional stories to yourself) in a fairly condescending why-isn't-this-obvious-to-you manner.

    All of which would be forgivable if the book were funny. It's not. Not so far, anyway, and my patience is running out.

    3 of 5 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Paul 08-07-15
    Paul 08-07-15
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    "Not for Ron Swanson fans"
    What disappointed you about Paddle Your Own Canoe?

    Nick spends the first 8 chapters on a diatribe against God and Christians. It's really too bad because he's lumping all Christians in with the Westboro Baptist fundamentalist types and it's not accurate or fair. Most Christians I know are humble honest folks who are just trying to be better people and live lives of devotion to God. Hardly the types to deserve this rant. Nick then goes on to recount numerous adolescent antics he and his college buddies did while suffering from various degrees of inebriation. This is paddling your own canoe? Sounds like running with the pack, Nick.


    What could Nick Offerman have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

    He could have spent more time with his encouraging young people to give more consideration to hands-on occupations. He can serve as a really good example here.


    4 of 7 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Juli glendale, CA, United States 06-15-15
    Juli glendale, CA, United States 06-15-15 Member Since 2015
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    "Two hours unto it and I had to stop "

    I want my credit back. Which is sad to say because I really like Nick Offerman as Ron Swanson in p and r but this book was waaay too preachy. Oi! After a while the shock value looses it's shock and in my opinion is regarded as just a tad arrogant. :( I'll still watch him in parks and rec but I just can't finish the book.

    4 of 7 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Terry Nelson, British Columbia, Canada 11-01-13
    Terry Nelson, British Columbia, Canada 11-01-13 Member Since 2011
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    "Disappointing"
    Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

    Didn't like the book. I didn't see listening to it as time well spent. Not that humorous and didn't feel pulled in. Speaks about how good his life is and what his life was like growing up. Nothing really out of the ordinary except he excelled at theatre and acting.


    Has Paddle Your Own Canoe turned you off from other books in this genre?

    No, I've listened to others there were entertaining and left you with a message.


    What does Nick Offerman bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    I wouldn't buy the book and would not have listened to it. I gave it over 5 hours of listening and it couldn't pull me in.


    Could you see Paddle Your Own Canoe being made into a movie or a TV series? Who should the stars be?

    No, such a movie would be as interesting as watching paint dry


    Any additional comments?

    Jon Stewart pumped it up on the the Daily Show. Wish it was as exciting to me as he says he found it.

    10 of 18 people found this review helpful
  •  
    W Perry Hall 12-17-13

    One master-passion in the br east, like Aaron's serpent, swallows all the rest. A. Pope

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    "Ron Swanson, Just Another Hollywood Smarta.."

    I thought "Paddle Your Own Canoe" would be funny. The book may have been funny had Nick Offerman omitted his pompous lecture in which he laughs that the faith/beliefs of the religious of the world are purely founded on fairy tales.

    The primary point of all this hilarity is his understandable detestation of self-serving politicians and charlatans who quote the Bible as if it were law, who attempt to force upon the public their religious beliefs as a part of political platforms and positions and who otherwise profit in the name of their higher power.

    I agree with what appears to me to the chief *point* of his mini-lecture; these religion-profiteers, panderers and politicos also sicken me. I don't need an actor/comic to point out the obvious by laying a sermon on me (ironically) mocking religious faith as nothing but bullshit based on fairy tales, chuckling that the Christian religion (mine) is composed of legions of mindless sycophants to a sort of comic-book superhero Son of God (Swanson's label).

    Why would Megan Mullally's husband need to ruin his big-shot book by taking potshots (near the book's beginning) at an almost certain majority of his target audience (white males, age 25-54)?

    Apparently it's true: no matter where you come from (be it Oklahoma City or Minooka, IL), initiation into the Tinseltown fraternity/sorority of "acting" intellectuals includes learning to loathe religion and God-fearing people and to ridicule them and their institutions by brandishing biased generalizations in service to a "high-minded" bigotry, Hollywood-style.

    5 of 9 people found this review helpful
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  • R Mac
    Manchester
    4/2/15
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    "Really great listen"

    The essence of nick offerman in a book! loved it. Very easy and enjoyable to listen to

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Andrew
    3/1/15
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    "great book, inspiring, amusing, charming"

    A great insight into happiness, show business and good prosperous living in general with the entertaining and oh so wise Mr Offerman. highly recommended

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Peter James Saunders
    12/31/14
    Overall
    "The most amazing and joyous listen"

    As a massive Ron Swanson fan, I really thought that this audiobook would be completely different, but I'm so glad it surprised me! I truly enjoyed listening to his point of views and side with him on most, he is also a very funny dude but as you go on realise very intelligent. Thoroughly recommend this book!!

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful

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