• Never Have Your Dog Stuffed

  • And Other Things I've Learned
  • By: Alan Alda
  • Narrated by: Marc Cashman
  • Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
  • 3.9 out of 5 stars (426 ratings)

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Never Have Your Dog Stuffed  By  cover art

Never Have Your Dog Stuffed

By: Alan Alda
Narrated by: Marc Cashman
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Publisher's summary

He's one of America's most recognizable and acclaimed actors - a star on Broadway, an Oscar nominee for The Aviator, and the only person to ever win Emmys for acting, writing, and directing, during his 11 years on M*A*S*H. Now Alan Alda has written a memoir as elegant, funny, and affecting as his greatest performances.

"My mother didn't try to stab my father until I was 6," begins Alda's irresistible story. The son of a popular actor and a loving but mentally ill mother, he spent his early childhood backstage in the erotic and comic world of burlesque and went on, after early struggles, to achieve extraordinary success in his profession.

Yet Never Have Your Dog Stuffed is not a memoir of show-business ups and downs. It is a moving and funny story of a boy growing into a man who then realizes he has only just begun to grow.

It is the story of turning points in Alda's life, events that would make him what he is, if only he could survive them.

From the moment as a boy when his dead dog is returned from the taxidermist's shop with a hideous expression on his face, and he learns that death can't be undone, to the decades-long effort to find compassion for the mother he lived with but never knew, to his acceptance of his father, both personally and professionally, Alda learns the hard way that change, uncertainty, and transformation are what life is made of, and true happiness is found in embracing them.

Never Have Your Dog Stuffed, filled with curiosity about nature, good humor, and honesty, is the crowning achievement of an actor, author, and director, but surprisingly, it is the story of a life more filled with turbulence and laughter than any Alda has ever played on the stage or screen.

©2005 Alan Alda (P)2005 Books on Tape, Inc.

Critic reviews

"A brief but entertaining autobiography tempered with humility and a depth rarely found in celebrity memoirs." (Publishers Weekly)

What listeners say about Never Have Your Dog Stuffed

Average customer ratings
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  • 4 out of 5 stars
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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars

Wish I Had Known

I wish I had read the reviews before purchasing this audiobook. I enjoyed the story very much, but wish I had known there is another version read by Alan Alda himself. Although Marc Cashman is a goood reader, I could here Mr Alda's style in the prose and kept imagining what it would be like to hear him read it. The material needs his unique way of delivering his lines to bring the story to life.

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8 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars

Why didn't Alan Alda narrate it?

I mean really... He would have done a thousand times better job reading his own life. Not to mention adding the reality this book deserves.

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8 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Made my commute easier to take

I have an hour commute each way to and from work. This was my first audiobook and, for the first time, I couldn't wait to get in my car to commute to/from work. I didn't mind the traffic jams, because it allowed me to listen to this story longer.

I probably would never have bought this in hardcopy book (I tend to be restless and can't sit still long enough to read), but I'm glad I picked this one as my first audiobook. I really enjoyed the story!

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7 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars

My purchase of this book was a bit of a mistake.

I wasn't reading as carefully as I should have been, before I hit the Audible purchase button. This is the version Not personally read by Alan Alda, so it was a bit of a shock when I started listening to the book last night. It is interesting so far, but it was a disappointment, as I am a very big fan of Mr. Alda's work and love to hear his voice. So, why are there two different narrations? I should have just borrowed the book from the local public library where I could imagine Mr. Alda's voice reading to me.

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6 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars

A revealing and honest memoir

If you are expecting a tantalizing tell all, you will be sorely disapointed. Alda is merciful to his famous friends, mentioning them only to praise them. He is not nearly so kind to himself. He is honest in his portrait of his early life and the mental illness his mother suffered. All of the poignant episodes of this well loved actor's life are handled with grace and the famous Alda humor. I only wish that more time had been spent discussing M*A*S*H, which was perhaps his greatest contribution to popular culture. However all in all, this is a well done and witty memoir.

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3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars

Disappointing

The reader of this book tried to imitate Alan Alda's voice, and it was very annoying. I had a hard time getting through the book because of the narration. The book itself was disappointing, as I believe Alan Alda has much more depth than this book portrays.

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3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars

Alan is a better actor than writer.

This book was OK, but definitely not a must read. The narration (although not Alan) was pretty good. The story itself was a little boring at times though. I'm a big fan of Alan the actor, but I don't care too much for his writing.

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3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars

Sometimes hilarious memoir

Alan Alda has written an interesting memoir about a remarkable childhood. It's hard to imagine a childhood so alien, so removed from mainstream American culture, surrounded by naked women and bawdy vaudeville comics, spent on trains rattling around the country in the middle of the night, from one seedy venue to the next. I really got a feel for the experience listening to this book. What I find really compelling, however, is the self-deprecating humor sprinkled throughout the book. As a Hollywood memoir Alda is refreshingly honest and introspective about his talents, his intellect, and his ego. His frustration and frequent anger towards his mentally ill mother is presented very candidly. And he doesn't take himself too seriously. At times this is laugh out loud hilarious.

I do wish Alda had read the memoir himself, however, because he has such a distinctive writing voice, and his voice itself is so familiar from all those years on television, that it's frankly <em>weird</em> hearing someone else's voice telling his life in the first person. The only way I can describe the reader of this book's voice quality is, if Martin Sheen was really <em>really</em> gay, he'd sound like the guy that read this book. That's not a slur, just an observation. I'm gay myself.

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars

Isn't Alda an Actor?

Alda's book is in first person, but read by someone else. This was very confusing. It took me almost halfway through the book before I could hear Alda's voice in my head over the narrator. If he'd done his own narration (I can't imagine this to be a stretch -- he is an actor after all.), I would have given it a higher rating. It was entertaining and surprisingly introspective.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

interesting story

Eish Alan Alda would have narrated his story, so I was dosappointed to learn he hadnt.

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