Unmasked

My Life Solving America's Cold Cases

By: Paul Holes, Robin Gaby Fisher

Narrated by: Paul Holes

Length: 8 hrs and 45 mins

Publisher's summary

2022 Audible.com Best of the Year, Long-listed
2022 Hudson Booksellers Best of the Year, Long-listed
2022 Amazon.com Best Books of the Year, Long-listed

This program is read by the author.

From the detective who found the Golden State Killer, a memoir of investigating America’s toughest cold cases and the rewards–and toll–of a life solving crime.

I order another bourbon, neat. This is the drink that will flip the switch. I don’t even know how I got here, to this place, to this point. Something is happening to me lately. I’m drinking too much. My sheets are soaking wet when I wake up from nightmares of decaying corpses. I order another drink and swig it, trying to forget about the latest case I can’t shake.

Crime solving for me is more complex than the challenge of the hunt, or the process of piecing together a scientific puzzle. The thought of good people suffering drives me, for better or worse, to the point of obsession. People always ask how I am able to detach from the horrors of my work. Part of it is an innate capacity to compartmentalize; the rest is experience and exposure, and I’ve had plenty of both. But I have always taken pride in the fact that I can keep my feelings locked up to get the job done. It’s only been recently that it feels like all that suppressed darkness is beginning to seep out.

When I look back at my long career, there is a lot I am proud of. I have caught some of the most notorious killers of the twenty-first century and brought justice and closure for their victims and families. I want to tell you about a lifetime solving these cold cases, from Laci Peterson to Jaycee Dugard to the Pittsburg homicides to, yes, my twenty-year-long hunt for the Golden State Killer.

But a deeper question eats at me as I ask myself, at what cost? I have sacrificed relationships, joy—even fatherhood—because the pursuit of evil always came first. Did I make the right choice? It’s something I grapple with every day. Yet as I stand in the spot where a young girl took her last breath, as I look into the eyes of her family, I know that, for me, there has never been a choice. “I don’t know if I can solve your case,” I whisper. “But I promise I will do my best.”

It is a promise I know I can keep.

A Macmillan Audio production from Celadon Books

©2022 Paul Holes (P)2022 Macmillan Audio

Critic reviews

"[Paul Holes's] memoir grabs its reader in a stranglehold and proves more fascinating than fiction and darker than any noir narrative."
—Los Angeles Magazine

"Fans of true crime will love every page of Unmasked. It is a wildly engaging and painfully honest read that will appeal to anyone curious about the lives of those who pursue justice for voiceless victims."
—San Francisco Chronicle

"An exceptional memoir... his unflinching look at the emotional toll the more than 27 years he spent working in Contra Costa County in the San Francisco Bay Area took on him and his family distinguishes this from similar true crime narratives."
—Publishers Weekly, starred review

Unmasked

Agreed he talks allot about himself, his cases, his marriage and the hardships of his life - but he’s engaging enough to make it ok.. I listened to the end and don’t regret buying the book

Interesting story horrendous narration.

Another example of why some authors should NOT narrate their own work sometimes.
Really bad, stilted narration, clearly he isn’t used to it.

A Compartmentalizing Champion

I have always admired Paul Holes from when I first heard about him, I'm not even sure when that was but it may have been in Michelle McNamara's book 'I'll be Gone in the Dark'. His dogged analytical determination makes him an incredible detective. What I was most surprised by, though, in this book, are the amount of things I related to. He candidly talks about his life and his coping with his life and his nature. I have always described compartmentalizing as a skill that is double-edged. It can equip you to be able to tackle anything, but can also separate you from being able to acknowledge blatant truths about yourself, and keep you completely locked up emotionally at times. It is very vital to understand the ways in which it is used for good and for bad and he does an incredible job telling the story of how this trait for him has been both a stepping stone and a stumbling block. Great read.

Poignant Memoir

This is the story of a gifted and passionate investigator and the raw truth of what it costs to have the gift. The stories of success, the struggles and sometimes heartbreak of the journey make this book a must listen. And I say must listen because the dulcet tones of Paul Holes should not be missed!

Incredible story

Paul’s work is amazing. His way of making you feel as if you were there along with him as he solved crimes is fascinating and intriguing. It had its moments of repetitiveness but was still an overall great book. His openness about his life brought great insight and admiration for the work he does. Thanks Paul for letting your fans have a small peak inside your life.

Determination and Commitment

Paul Holes has written a book not everyone can listen to or appreciate. I am in awe of his dogged determination and commitment to face the most frightening and gruesome crimes and work to see justice for victims and their families. It’s a shame that it has cost him personally to hold all the tragedy and grief. I wish him well as his life moves on. Doesn’t sound like he plans to abandon his gift for solving the difficulties and baffling crimes. Thank you, Paul.

Excellent and raw background information!

I appreciate Paul sharing how this case affected his personal life. His dedication is amazing.

Can't stop listening!

I couldn't put this book down. I heard Paul's interview on Megyn Kelly's GSK podcast and I was SO excited to dig into this book. Amazing!

Best Audible Listen Ever!

This has by far been the best read Audible book ever. Not only is the book incredibly well written but even better when able to relax and listen. I appreciate Paul’s honesty throughout the story.

Easy listening despite the subject matter

The subject matter is NOT easy listening, but Paul and RGF wrote a book that is easy to follow despite moving from specific cases to the personal to the professional aspects of Paul’s life. It felt really balanced to understanding - not just the facts, but the decision making process in his life. This book can easily be about anyone that becomes so focused on justice, they end up paying for it in other parts of life. I see this book as part hope, part cautionary tale and part fight for justice. The narration is excellent! He has that public speaking voice/tone!