Those looking for validation for being the one to end a marriage.
This is a hideously biased book. What do I mean by that? Let me explain.
The author uses the common term “leaver”, the person who ended the relationship and the “left”, the person who wanted to try harder or go to counseling or something. She seems to spend an inordinate amount of time trying to convince the listener that the leaver really isn’t really bad, the leaver was only reacting to the left who somehow she seems to want to blame, even though she uses platitudes as nobody is to blame and nobody ever wins in a divorce. She is clearly biased for the “leaver”. She says that she herself went through a divorce. I have no doubt whatsoever which one she was in that case. Full disclosure; I am a “left” as well as a male. Which brings me to my next charge of bias, she is biased against men.
She gives numerous examples of what couples say to each other when they are discussing/arguing about the problems in their marriage. It’s truly stunning how many of her examples have the man being portrayed as selfish and heartless and the women as the victim.
I also detect a bit of bitterness against marriage itself. This is the newest edition of a book written long ago. Although I cannot figure out exactly when it was first published her biography proudly claims to have been on The Phil Donahue Show so she is definitely a boomer type. She also seems to be a feminist. Those two things explain a lot about her world view.
If you’re a woman and a leaver by all means read this book. It will comfort you, tell you you’re strong and brave and generally make you feel good about yourself. But if you are a left and particularly a male left you will find this book infuriating.
It would be easy to dismiss this review as someone bitter over his own divorce. Rest assured that I tried to listen to this numerous times over the last month. I cannot suffer thru any more of it.
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