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Ted

Don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Trip's cool though. Use Audible to make gym-training sane... And rip my imagination.

Lancaster, PA, United States | Member Since 2010

1007
HELPFUL VOTES
  • 263 reviews
  • 338 ratings
  • 0 titles in library
  • 12 purchased in 2015
FOLLOWING
7
FOLLOWERS
137

  • In Good Faith

    • UNABRIDGED (8 hrs and 52 mins)
    • By Scott Pratt
    • Narrated By Tim Campbell
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (58)
    Performance
    (48)
    Story
    (52)

    A family of four is slaughtered in rural Tennessee. Two weeks later, a retired high school principal and his wife are brutally slain. Two Satan-worshipping teens stand accused. It's up to prosecutor Joe Dillard to convict them. A former defense attorney who spent way too much time defending people he knew were guilty, Joe is determined to win this case to atone for his past. But an evil young woman named Natasha is responsible for the slayings and Joe knows it.

    Ted says: "A Gooey Dollop Of Para Atop The Normal Here…"
    "A Gooey Dollop Of Para Atop The Normal Here…"
    Overall
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    Story

    Apparently Scott Pratt's got some sort or denominational religious angst going on in his head… It apparently developed since his excellent earlier novel, "An Innocent Client" (which should be read first BTW). And here he swirls it around and around in a mishmash of mystical versus spiritual plot whorls.

    I don't like it when an author relies upon ghosts, mystics, or satan/gods to solve his/her story difficulties. Pratt does that here. Maybe you'll enjoy it, since he's a good craftsman and Tim Campbell's a fine reader. Don't know whether I'll try the next in this series… I like my legal thrillers to be more "normal" courtroom matches without a gooey side-order of the "para'.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  • Christine Falls: A Novel

    • UNABRIDGED (9 hrs and 31 mins)
    • By Benjamin Black
    • Narrated By Timothy Dalton
    Overall
    (844)
    Performance
    (395)
    Story
    (390)

    It's not the dead that seem strange to Quirke. It's the living. One night, after a few drinks at an office party, Quirke shuffles down into the morgue where he works and finds his brother-in-law, Malachy, altering a file he has no business even reading. Odd enough in itself to find Malachy there, but the next morning, when the haze has lifted, it looks an awful lot like his brother-in-law, the esteemed doctor, was in fact tampering with a corpse, and concealing the cause of death.

    Stephen McLeod says: "Great Listen"
    "Okay... I Give Up. What's the point here?"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    Four hours of heavy tedium have caused any interest I've got in listening to this... this... thing reveal what it's about to dissipate like a parking lot puddle in searing heat. Nope, bad metaphor. This book and the word "heat" should never appear in the same sentence. It is cold and not even interesting enough to be called boring.

    Perhaps this is a "literary" author's attempt to become more commercial by having his book marketed as a "mystery" or a "thriller"? The mystery here is what went through the publishers' minds when they green lighted this thing. Maybe they acted on a pitch instead of actually reviewing a manuscript and once granting an advance found themselves stuck?

    Dunno. But I do know that Benjamin Black is on my, er, blacklist. I'll return this book, but no way that Audio can give me back four hours of my life. Pity.

    Oh, and Timothy Dalton? His read was as uninspiring as the text. They made a good match.

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  • NYPD Red 2

    • UNABRIDGED (8 hrs and 8 mins)
    • By James Patterson, Marshall Karp
    • Narrated By Edoardo Ballerini, Jay Snyder
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (471)
    Performance
    (397)
    Story
    (401)

    When NYPD Red arrives at a crime scene, everyone takes notice. Known as the protectors of the rich, famous, and connected, NYPD Red is the elite task force called in only for New York City's most high-profile crimes. And Detective Zach Jordan is the best of the best, a brilliant and relentless pursuer of justice. He puts professionalism above all, ignoring his feelings for his partner, Detective Kylie MacDonald, the woman who broke his heart when they first met in the academy.

    Ted says: "GUSH! 15 Stars!But don't read this.... FIRST!"
    "GUSH! 15 Stars!But don't read this.... FIRST!"
    Overall
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    Story

    GUSH! Uh-huh, I'm in the mood to gush over the fun that Edoardo Ballerina and Jay Snyder create in this series. Patterson's brand has had a steroid rush from the invention of NYPD RED.

    Warning... warning... warning... There is a "2" in this title. You must read NYPD RED 1 first. Or else this book is one long spoiler alert that will asphyxiate your satisfaction in listening to the first in this series. I gushed over that book... So let me write that this is in every way as good. Better? Hmmmm....

    Wuddaya want from a police procedural set in Metropolis? It is all here paced by Patterson and Karp to keep you in the driveway listening after a long commute. It's designed to make you earbud-anti-social for hours so that you can let the story anesthetize away life's tensions.

    This is snarky entertainment... Start with NYPD RED 1, read this then, like me... go onto the waiting list for the next Zack Jordan, Kylie MacDonald adventure...

    The only mystery now is whether Patterson and Karp can keep popping fifteen stars out of me with each new NYPD RED. Can't wait to find out.

    4 of 4 people found this review helpful
  • NYPD Red

    • UNABRIDGED (7 hrs and 7 mins)
    • By James Patterson, Marshall Karp
    • Narrated By Edoardo Ballerini, Jay Snyder
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (988)
    Performance
    (835)
    Story
    (841)

    It's the start of Hollywood on Hudson, and New York City is swept up in the glamour. Every night, the red carpet rolls out for movie stars arriving at premieres in limos; the most exclusive restaurants close for private parties for wealthy producers and preeminent directors; and thousands of fans gather with the paparazzi, hoping to catch a glimpse of the most famous and beautiful faces in the world. With this many celebrities in town, special task force NYPD Red is on high alert - and they can't afford to make a single mistake.

    Ann M. Lambert says: "one of the best, if not the best audio books ever"
    "Yeah… Taut As A J-Lo Dress"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    Too often big-foot writers outsource something to smaller-shoe collaborators and the results read like a camel instead of a horse. Not here. I don't know how much of this is Marshall Karp's doing but the mix WORKS!

    Zack Jordan and Kylie MacDonald are tugged and fit together like Jennifer Lopez's red-carpet outfits. The plot in NYPD Red's like a NASCAR engine… purring at warp speed yet quietly and confidently. This will be a new series, right? Got to be.

    BTW, don't know the story about the two readers or which is which but it seemed that a substitution was made about 80% of the way in. The replacement carried the ball to score.

    Here's what I want in an Audible mystery/thriller…characters, plot-driven AND driving action, and a puzzle that's intelligently solved at the end. Oh, and a buzz of sexual tension's a useful blob of epoxy to hold my attention. NYPD Red's got it all.

    MORE! MORE!

    4 of 4 people found this review helpful
  • Dog on It: A Chet and Bernie Mystery

    • UNABRIDGED (9 hrs and 40 mins)
    • By Spencer Quinn
    • Narrated By Jim Frangione
    Overall
    (1442)
    Performance
    (942)
    Story
    (939)

    In this, their first adventure, Chet and Bernie investigate the disappearance of Madison, a teenage girl who may or may not have been kidnapped, but who has definitely gotten mixed up with some very unsavory characters.

    Maggie says: "Great entertainment!"
    "Cute For 5 Min Then... UGH!"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    "I've gotta'n idea, we write this book through the eyes of the dog and ba-zing-ga!"
    "Duuuude!? That's not an idea, that's whacked."
    "No.... no... There are readers who'll love it. How many dog owners are there?"
    "You want to write a whole book though the brain of a dog? A DOG!"
    "Yeah, cool huh? We'll make a series out of it."
    "Cool? No, weird. Who'd publish something like that?"

    The answer is Aria brooks, and they've stretched a writing class trick into a seven book series. Which means I will not read 7 3/4 of them since I stopped when it went WAY OVER THE SHARK for me about a quarter of the way in.

    ***

    "Hey, I gotta'n idea, let's write a book through the eyes of a shark that writers leap and ba-zing-ga!"
    "Duuuude!? That's not an idea, that's whacked."
    "No.... no... look how many people liked that dog thing. How many sharks are there in publishing?"

    If you get off on this stunt, I'm thinkin' you could reeeeeeely like the Chet and Bernie series. I didn't so it's Dog-Gone... y'know?

    4 of 4 people found this review helpful
  • The Savannah Project: Jake Pendleton Series, Book 1

    • UNABRIDGED (11 hrs)
    • By Chuck Barrett
    • Narrated By Scott Brick
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (212)
    Performance
    (183)
    Story
    (185)

    Terrorism, duty, and personal safety collide when Jake Pendleton, an investigator for the NTSB, is called to investigate an aircraft accident in Savannah, Georgia during the St. Patrick's Day celebration. The accident, which at first appears to be quite run-of-the-mill, turns out to be anything but. Since Jake is not willing to pretend there are no suspicious circumstances and more than the usual share of rather unlikely "coincidences," he sets off a veritable avalanche of secrets, violence and treachery.

    Andrew Pollack says: "Even Scott Brick couldn't save a story arc"
    "Gigglingly Awful!"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    You might not believe it but scores of folks in Savannah ire maniacal IRA killers. I know it's Savahanna because Chuck Barrett's read a tourist map of the place... One of those that lists a couple of sentences about every... And I mean EVERY... Historical marker within three blocks of River Street. And for no reason at all, insists upon reading them back at us during pointless chases.

    Both he a nd Scott Brick have the magical ability to turn this explosively baaaaad eleven hour plot into a seemingly sixty hour experience even when you crank up your iPod to 2X. Oh, and just when it should end, Barrett sends his rag-tag cast off to Ireland. That's when I left to return this mess to Audible.

    Savannah should sue.

    6 of 6 people found this review helpful
  • Depraved Indifference: Butch Karp and Marlene Ciampi, Book 2

    • UNABRIDGED (12 hrs and 59 mins)
    • By Robert K. Tanenbaum
    • Narrated By Traber Burns
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (48)
    Performance
    (40)
    Story
    (39)

    Butch Karp has never shied away from a difficult case, and when Croatian terrorists hijack a plane and kill an NYPD bomb squad cop in a bomb blast, he’s eager to prosecute the high-profile killers. But Karp’s aggression puts him at risk when his investigations uncover messy government secrets. Certain elements of the FBI and CIA don’t want the trial to go forward, and are willing to go to extremes to sabotage Karp's case.

    Ted says: "ROFL!"
    "ROFL!"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    This is a farce. Nope, not an indictment, a definition. Whoever wrote this book, and there's a bunch of controversy over that (Was it someone named Tanenbaum? Does anyone named Tanenbaum exist? Was it some guy named Michael Gruber? Does he exist? My head's going to explode... Go Google 'em and you decide.) But I digress...

    Listen to "Depraved Indifference" as a slow-starting, over the top, jump the shark, broad and blue-humored FARCE! Do that and this book's fun. Oh, it's dirty as a 1970s Red Foxx at work in a smokey grownups' supper club... Adult stuff. And if you watch life through a PC filter... Don't... I'm warning ya'.... DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS BOOK! You will be sooooooo offended that you will become incontinent for weeks.

    Me? I'll probably get the next book in this series :-}

    4 of 4 people found this review helpful
  • Jury Master

    • UNABRIDGED (12 hrs)
    • By Robert Dugoni
    • Narrated By Robertson Dean
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (123)
    Performance
    (46)
    Story
    (47)

    David Sloane is the best wrongful death attorney in San Francisco. He's a lawyer who can make juries do anything. But despite his professional success, he's plagued by a nightmare of a childhood he cannot consciously remember. When he receives a package from a White House confidant who then turns up dead by apparent suicide, the contents reveal a history he never could have imagined.

    Ted says: "80% Riveting 20% …. Huh?"
    "80% Riveting 20% …. Huh?"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    Robert Dugoni's a powerful writer. But like Phillip Margolin, he cannot end a story with much less than contempt for his readers. I've written before about the cheap trick of the ancient Greeks called Deus Ex Machina. Where a playwrite'd work himself in to an impossible situation only to have a god appear in a chariot, and abruptly solve all the mystery. Well that is exactly what Dugoni does here, entirely cheating his readers. Nope, you didn't see that coming, because it wasn't! Once upon a time, I'd put this down to an early novel and try the author's next attempt in hopes that he'd really have a plot the next time.

    Unfortunately I did that with Margolin and got burned with his awful "Ties That Bind". It taught me a lesson about wasting time and treasure in hopes that a bad author but a good writer might discover his craft on my dime.

    You want spiritual improbability? Join up with Scientology, or maybe some cult political movement. Don't spend money on "Jury Master."

    5 of 5 people found this review helpful
  • The Silkworm

    • UNABRIDGED (17 hrs and 22 mins)
    • By Robert Galbraith
    • Narrated By Robert Glenister
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (5237)
    Performance
    (4781)
    Story
    (4780)

    When novelist Owen Quine goes missing, his wife calls in private detective Cormoran Strike. At first, Mrs. Quine just thinks her husband has gone off by himself for a few days - as he has done before - and she wants Strike to find him and bring him home. But as Strike investigates, it becomes clear that there is more to Quine's disappearance than his wife realizes. The novelist has just completed a manuscript featuring poisonous pen-portraits of almost everyone he knows.

    H James Lucas says: "A well-worn genre enlivened with fresh characters"
    "What's Latin for 'Dreadful'?"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..... ZZzzzzzzzz.....

    Okay, J.K. Rowling gives two keys for interpreting her intent in this thing. She has one of the wriggling dark characters explain to us the difference between 'narrative', and 'plot'. And at another point a character laments about the way the rules of genre keep literary writers outside of well defined categories.

    So Here Rowling is attempting to create the literary mystery sub-genre and winds up with narrative numbing out plot. Writing teachers demand their students "write what they know." And since one of the world's richest writers knows publishing, well in'The Silkworm' , she writes about it... and writes over it, and writes under it, and through it.

    And her cellophane characters speak latin at each other! Yeah, her... one-legged, ex-millitary, determined-blue- collar-culture, Cormoran Strike (that's his name... really, honest...), breaks into latin the way musical-theater set-eaters abruptly spit songs into one another's faces. These characters are bombastic... all 700 of them. Or were there 937? I lost count... And care. But I did finish it to its flaccid end.

    Look,they couldn't sell 'Cuckoo's Calling' the first book in this series, until J.K. Rowling revealed herself as its author. Okay, now we have a new mystery. I gave 'The Cuckoo's Calling' 15 stars! I totally liked it. But I think we've got a different sort of mystery with 'The Silkworm.' Is it possible that this book was really written by somebody named Robert Galbraith?

    Can't explain this pretentious twaddle any other way.

    ---consectetur adipisici elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.... ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......

    5 of 7 people found this review helpful
  • The Cuckoo's Calling

    • UNABRIDGED (15 hrs and 54 mins)
    • By Robert Galbraith
    • Narrated By Robert Glenister
    Overall
    (8490)
    Performance
    (7678)
    Story
    (7693)

    After losing his leg to a land mine in Afghanistan, Cormoran Strike is barely scraping by as a private investigator. Then John Bristow walks through his door with an amazing story: his sister, the legendary supermodel Lula Landry, famously fell to her death a few months earlier. The police ruled it a suicide, but John refuses to believe that. The case plunges Strike into the world of multimillionaire beauties, rock-star boyfriends, and desperate designers, and it introduces him to every variety of pleasure, enticement, seduction, and delusion known to man.

    Tracey says: "Unbelievable debut mystery set in London"
    "Perfect!!!! 15 Stars."
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    Everything works. J.K. Rowling is a master craftswoman. Each plot-part locks tautly with its mates. The whodunnit's plotted tighter than a CD wrap. OKAY, it's cinematic. Uh-huh the characters are tailored to fit Hollywood's best character actors. Or maybe Britain's. But so what? And yeah, Cormoran Strike, a rugged, 6' 3", one-leged war hero turned PI, might be a bit of stretch for most of filmdom's munchkin leading men (Oh I hope that Tom Cruise doesn't buy the rights then surround himself with all the little-people who played Hobbits).

    But look, I buy mystery stories for entertainment. Rowling's as entertaining a writer as any who's working in the genre and I cannot wait to get The Silkworm to hear Robert Glenister bring this ensemble back to life.

    Thank you Ms. Rowling for bringing your perfect craftswomanship here to the mystery-lover's space.

    8 of 9 people found this review helpful
  • A Conspiracy of Faith: Department Q, Book 3

    • UNABRIDGED (15 hrs and 27 mins)
    • By Jussi Adler-Olsen
    • Narrated By Graeme Malcolm
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (897)
    Performance
    (796)
    Story
    (806)

    Detective Carl Morck has received a bottle that holds an old and decayed message written in blood. It's a cry for help from two young brothers, tied and bound in a boathouse by the sea. After floating in the ocean for years before turning up, the bottle sat forgotten, unopened, on a police department windowsill, before the seal was cracked and the gruesome message, written in Danish, was analyzed. Could it be real? Who are these boys, and why weren't they reported missing? Could they possibly still be alive?

    John S says: "Alternative to Nesbo/Harry Hole Novels"
    "Darkly Good. Best Dept. Q So Far!"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    Detective Carl Mørck is as poorly served by everyone around him as he serves them back. Every member of this ensemble has a conscience, and an agenda that coates their ability to act like molasses. But then... that's what life does to all of us, it's just that Jussi Adler-Olsen pours more of the stuff over his stories than most of us wade through. That's what dramatic license's all about, right? And what builds tension and the slope of a story arc. Graeme Malcom's voices make the climb up the arc easy as levitating. Start this series at the beginning... but enjoy "A Conspiracy Of Faith".

    A fine listen.

    6 of 7 people found this review helpful

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