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Paul D. Caris


  • WARP Book 1: The Reluctant Assassin

    • UNABRIDGED (9 hrs and 29 mins)
    • By Eoin Colfer
    • Narrated By Maxwell Caulfield
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready

    Riley, a teen orphan boy living in Victorian London, has had the misfortune of being apprenticed to Albert Garrick, an illusionist who has fallen on difficult times and now uses his unique conjuring skills to gain access to victims' dwellings. On one such escapade, Garrick brings his reluctant apprentice along and urges him to commit his first killing. Riley is saved from having to commit the grisly act when the intended victim turns out to be a scientist from the future, part of the FBI's Witness Anonymous Relocation Program (WARP). Riley is unwittingly transported via wormhole to modern-day London, followed closely by Garrick.

    Sean says: "Fun story with some quality voices."
    "Colfer writing for American film"
    Is there anything you would change about this book?

    This was Fagan as an insane assasin who's training the Artful Dodger meeting up with Dr. Who.

    What could Eoin Colfer have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

    He could have done a better job by being more considerate of his fans and not pieced together old fiction. It lacked more than just imagination. As a fan of Colfer's novels, I kept hoping for things to turn around. I just may return the recording.

    Which scene was your favorite?

    When the announcer said, 'Audible hopes..."

    If this book were a movie would you go see it?

    No. I'm not convinced this was all written by Colfer. But being so vacuous, it should really do well with American audiences. Perhaps that was the intent. I know that Hollywood would've ruined Artemis Fowl (making it into a pieced together mess). And this may be Colfer snickering at Hollywood and American audiences. Still, I take umbrage at being a true fan in the middle who gets the smack.

    Any additional comments?

    The reader was brilliant. The performance tops the story. And that is the only benefit owing to Colfer's latest. He was taking a p..s.

    2 of 7 people found this review helpful
  • A Game of Thrones: A Song of Ice and Fire, Book 1

    • UNABRIDGED (33 hrs and 50 mins)
    • By George R. R. Martin
    • Narrated By Roy Dotrice
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready

    In a time long forgotten, a preternatural event threw the seasons off balance. In a land where summers can last decades and winters a lifetime, trouble is brewing. As the cold returns, sinister forces are massing beyond the protective wall of the kingdom of Winterfell. To the south, the king's powers are failing, with his most trusted advisor mysteriously dead and enemies emerging from the throne's shadow.

    DCinMI says: "Review of First 5 Books"
    "are you kidding ME?"
    Would you try another book from George R. R. Martin and/or Roy Dotrice?

    NO. A god-awful amalgamation. Dagnabit!

    Would you ever listen to anything by George R. R. Martin again?

    NO. Painful. This would be considered creative plaigerism(sp) if such a thing existed. But he's cleverly rewritten sentences (not ideas). GEEBUS, can't anyone else hear this? I mean really, listen. And this is being touted as the next best thing? Really?

    Did the narration match the pace of the story?

    There was nothing wrong with the narration.

    You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

    Other than the narration, it did not. It is an insult to readers over 11 or anyone whose read a book or a comic book.

    Any additional comments?

    How is it this stuff makes bestseller? This is just like film in America. Everyone is reading or watching foreign artists. Because this is what publishers are doing. Printing the same formulaic trash lacking an ounce of creativity. Every physical trait described, every two minutes a phrase repeated, every page a copy of someone else's story put into an amalgamation that screams "I figured out how to patch together a story from a host of other authors. Anyone who's read extensively will see Delaney, Colfer, Gaiman, Pratchett, Funke and a host of others to include more excellent writersthrown together page by page into this crap. "If you could take a man's life, you should look into his eyes..." Man this is just the absolute pits. Even the part of the dog/pups is straight out of Delaney's book.

    0 of 3 people found this review helpful

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