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Jim "The Impatient"

I will listen to NO boring book. Old Fav's,Card, King , Hobb. New Fav's, Hill, Scalzi, Sawyer, Interested in Lansdale, Crouch, Konrath

Springfield, MO, United States | Member Since 2014

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  • 639 reviews
  • 667 ratings
  • 1358 titles in library
  • 107 purchased in 2015
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  • Lightspeed Year One: From the Hugo Award Nominated Magazine

    • ABRIDGED (13 hrs and 20 mins)
    • By Orson Scott Card, Joe Haldeman, Nancy Kress, and others
    • Narrated By Paul Boehmer, Emily Card, Gabrielle De Cuir, and others
    Overall
    (63)
    Performance
    (58)
    Story
    (57)

    Lightspeed is the critically acclaimed, online science fiction magazine edited by best-selling anthologist John Joseph Adams. Each month at lightspeedmagazine.com, top authors and brilliant new voices alike span the genre’s full spectrum, from near-future sociological science fiction, to star-spanning hard science fiction, and everything in between. This audiobook contains all the podcasts from Lightspeed's first Hugo-nominated year, performed by a host of star narrators.

    Stephen says: "Reader Beware!!!!"
    "23 out of 24 Stories, Say The Future is Bleak"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    This is abridged, which means you get exactly half of the stories that are in the printed version. There are five, 5 star stories, eight, 4 stars, six, 3 stars and the rest or 1-2 star stories. There are 23 different authors, Cat Rambo has two stories.

    EVOLVE
    My favorite was by John R. Fultz, The Taste of Starlight. This is about a man who wakes up early from Cryo, and is a long way from the final destination and he can not re-enter Cryo. He feels he is too important to the mission to die, so he starts eating his companions. It is graphic and not for everyone. Haldeman, Lansdale, and Gregory have good stories. Robert Reed always has good stories and this is no exception. Card has a good story, The Elephants of Poznan, which is a repeat story he has printed several times. If you have not read Card's short stuff this is a good example of his quality writing in short stories.

    THE LANGUAGE OF KNOWING SOMETHING
    Carrie Vaughn has a four star story, which really shows her excellent writing and world creating style. I read her first Kitty book, but it is Paranormal Romance (Chick Lit) and I did not like it. I am rediscovering her in short story form. She wrote a story called, Astrophilia, which is included in Gardner Dozois's, The Year's Best Science Fiction, Thirtieth Annual Collection, which is in the same universe as this story called Amaryllis. Both stories are pretty good and Vaughn knows how to put you in the story. She also has one of the better stories in George R.R. Martin's, Warriors, anthology. All her stories have very strong female leads. Maybe after she has written her 50th Kitty book, if she is interested in the other half of the population (and she may not really care) she could write a novel from this Amaryllis universe, I would buy it.

    THE PROBLEM IS, I DON'T WANT A LIFE.
    As mentioned by some other reviewers, these stories are very dark, bleak, depressing. Just as it is easier to complain, then compliment, it is easier to seem intelligent when you write about Orwellian futures, instead of Constructive futures. I challenge today's writers to come up with good stories about a future we can look forward to. John Joseph Adams mentions his web site in the introduction, in which you can subscribe and get two stories a month. If this is an example of the stories picked each month, then I have to decline, not due to the quality, but to the overwhelming sadness.

    If The Story Does Not Fit, You Must Quit.
    A lot of the stories are not stories, they are entries in Diaries. It is amazing how many times different authors use this technique. Several of the stories do not have plots. One story is a phone call, in which you only hear one side of the conversation. The worse story is by an author who quit her day job to write, please go back to your day job, oh wait, you were not to good at that either. Sorry, that was pretty mean of me, but it is so funny.

    The narrators are excellent, not a bad one in the group. Their professionalism raises these stories up a notch. I slammed Rudnicki in a previous review over not his narration, but his producing, if he produced this, thanks, excellent job.

    WHERE WOULD A SEX BOT GO?




    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Alien Honor: A Fenris Novel, Book 1

    • UNABRIDGED (10 hrs and 34 mins)
    • By Vaughn Heppner
    • Narrated By Jeff Cummings
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (121)
    Performance
    (109)
    Story
    (107)

    AD 2457. The longest space voyage in history has begun: 230 light years from a ravaged Earth to the pristine star system of New Eden - a beacon of hope following the Doom Star days. Aboard the ship are human colonizers, the Space Navy, fierce “Monitors” once bred to fight Cyborgs, and four “Specials” - humans with psionic abilities, capable of ripping holes in space to jump vast distances.

    Connor says: "Telepathics in Space!"
    "Sci Fi?"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    I got interested in Heppner, because of the Invasion series. I have read the first two books in that series and will continue on with it. I believe Heppner and B.V. Larson to be very similar writers. They are not the best writers in the world, will not win any awards, but they come up with the more interesting story concepts. They write about things, we think we would like to know What If? about.

    This is more Fantasy then Sci Fi. Involves a lot of telepathy. I knew there would be some, but did not realize it would be so much a heavy part of the plot. I got half way through it, but could not get myself to want to listen.

    If you like telepathy books you may like this.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Sick Bastards: A Novel of Extreme Horror, Sex and Gore

    • UNABRIDGED (4 hrs and 30 mins)
    • By Matt Shaw
    • Narrated By Chris Barnes
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (31)
    Performance
    (27)
    Story
    (27)

    A family will do anything to survive after a nuclear attack has left their world in ruins. Actions which even surprise them.

    AudioBookReviewer says: "is by far the most brutally disgusting"
    "He is Sick, they are sick and now I am sick."
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    WE DON'T MAKE LOVE, NEVER HAVE, WE F
    Matt Shaw is a sick bastard, every character in the story is a sick bastard and now I am a sick bastard for listening to this. I listen to hundreds of books a year and a lot of horror books, this is not horror. This is out and out, sick and gory. I found very little that was scary, a lot of incest, lots of descriptive cannibalism, but no scary. This story actuals ends up fairly cliché.

    Here is the first ten minutes: We open with a twenty something boy who is screwing his sister from behind, he turns her over and starts hammering her hard. This is not enough, so he starts choking her. Mom pops her head in the room, smiles and makes some commit about the boy doing some of the things she taught him, and that dinner is ready. They go downstairs. A woman is naked, gaged and tied to the dinner table. She is still alive. She tries to scream, but she is gaged. Dad starts carving pieces off of her and putting the pieces on the family's dinner plates. They start eating the woman and she is watching them do so, when she is not passed out. This is only one of the many brutal scenes. This is only one of the sex scenes.

    You can call me a prude if you want. I love J.A. Konrath (Kilborn) who has lots of blood and gore and torture. I like Tufo's Timothy. This just made me want to take a bath after I was done. I did not enjoy it. Part of the problem was the whinny main character. I believe Shaw was trying to make it look like he had a conscious, yet he is the first to chop someone's head off. He reluctantly gives in to the sexual demands of his sister and mother. He runs away from home about three times. He constantly questions himself and contemplates suicide. The running away and anguish is the main part of the story and it always leads to him screwing, killing and eating the dead. I think this would have been better if the main character would have been evil or good, but not whinny. There is kind of a twist at the end, but it is pretty cliché.

    The evidently takes place in Scotland as the narrator has a strong accent. It takes a while to get used to this accent. Some words just get lost. Several times it sounded like he was saying cheese and much later I figured out he was saying trees. There are several more of these.

    One thing is for sure, it may be a long time before I eat ham again. It seems people taste much like Ham. Now excuse me, I need to go take a long shower.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Gehenna: West of Hell, Book 1

    • UNABRIDGED (2 hrs and 57 mins)
    • By Jason Brant
    • Narrated By Robert Martinez
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (12)
    Performance
    (11)
    Story
    (11)

    When two cannibalistic, gravely wounded men stagger into the town of Gehenna, all hell breaks loose. Infamous outlaw Mad Dog McCall, stuck in the city jail, must fight for his life to escape. The lonely, intelligent, and snarky Karen must make horrific sacrifices to survive the night against the growing army of the dead. Together, they set upon a journey of biblical proportions, fighting against the living and the infected, hoping against hope to find a safe haven in the middle of Hell.

    Jim "The Impatient" says: "This is Just Bad"
    "This is Just Bad"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    The old west and Zombies. Sounds like a good unique take on the Zombie books. Had it been well written, it would probably be so, had it been average narrated maybe. Neither happened. I don't know how you make Zombies boring, but Brant discovered a way.

    The narrator does good voices and characters, but his narration is awful. He pronounces each word with lots of emphasis. There is more narration, then conversation, so this gets real annoying. I hope Martinez did not quit his 3rd grade teaching job. There is lots of blood and gore, but he reads it like a first grade learner.

    You want to take a pass on this.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Off to Be the Wizard

    • UNABRIDGED (10 hrs and 15 mins)
    • By Scott Meyer
    • Narrated By Luke Daniels
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (4051)
    Performance
    (3736)
    Story
    (3744)

    It's a simple story. Boy finds proof that reality is a computer program. Boy uses program to manipulate time and space. Boy gets in trouble. Boy flees back in time to Medieval England to live as a wizard while he tries to think of a way to fix things. Boy gets in more trouble. Oh, and boy meets girl at some point.

    Charles says: "Fantastic"
    "IT WOULD BE IDYLLIC, IF NOT FOR THE CORPSES"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    JUST BECAUSE YOU CALL SOMETHING, SOMETHING, DOESN'T MAKE IT, IT.
    If you like John Scalzi and Wil Wheaton, then you will love this. During the first hour, I thought this is cute, but it is going to grow old. Over nine hours later, I am still laughing. As the story grows, it gets funnier and more interesting. If you are driving be careful, you may miss your exit, it is that engaging.

    TECHNICALLY I AM OLDER THEN YOU, I WAS JUST BORN LATER
    I am 56 and barely understand computers, so this was not aimed at me, but I loved it anyway. It was a fun light book, with plenty of surprises. After a while some of the jokes become predictable, but they are still funny. There is a little Connecticut Yankee in here, an updated version. This has time travel, wizards, Lord of the Rings, orcs, etc...

    SILENCE SO THICK, YOU COULD LEAN ON IT.
    I can not say enough about Luke Daniels. His performance is above and beyond. This would be a great book to read, but I believe that Daniels makes it so much more. Don't miss out on this experience.

    HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ME EAT ANY OF THAT STEW?
    I will be getting the sequels.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • The First Bird, Episode 1

    • UNABRIDGED (5 hrs and 31 mins)
    • By Greig Beck
    • Narrated By Sean Mangan
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (92)
    Performance
    (91)
    Story
    (90)

    When a fame-hungry scientist brings an impossible, living specimen of a creature long thought extinct back from the wild jungles of South America he unwittingly brings along a passenger. Something with the potential to destroy every living thing on our planet. The infestation begins, rapidly overtaking medical resources and resisting all treatment.

    Laura says: "Episode 1 was good but # 2 & 3 are not"
    "NO CROCODILES HERE, THEY GET EATEN"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    250,000 ACRES OF UNEXPLORED JUNGLE
    Remember the old black and white movies they would show on Saturday afternoon. Movies like the Creature of the Black Lagoon. This first episode is a movie like that, only on steroids. I might be a 56 year old man with the heart of an eleven year old boy, but I love this type of book. Also reminds me of Amazonia by James Rollins. An Indiana Jones type runs out of the jungle with a live specimen of the first bird. He brings it back to the United States. Then his skin starts falling off, for he brought back more then the bird.

    EPISODE ONE
    I read the reviews, so I was warned. The is not book one, this is an episode and it ends with a cliff hanger. Almost no issues have been resolved when this episode ends. I would have rather it had been a full book with sequels, but I knew what I was getting into and I will be getting episode 2.

    INSECTS DON'T KNOW FEAR
    This is good because of the story. The writing is not above average and the characters mostly suck. I thought he over did it with the Macho Man thing on two of the characters and I did not understand the rudeness of the FBI agent in the beginning. The story is always entertaining and it took me back to lazy Saturday afternoons, when I was Eleven. Probably the best time of life for most boys. The creatures are scary, such as the snake that swallows a man whole. A lot happens in this episode and it ends just when they get to the Lost Island scene (Conan Doyle).

    Narrator does a great job.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • The Hangman's Daughter

    • UNABRIDGED (12 hrs and 57 mins)
    • By Oliver Pötzsch, Lee Chadeayne (translator)
    • Narrated By Grover Gardner
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (1738)
    Performance
    (1549)
    Story
    (1542)

    When a dying boy is pulled from the river with a mark crudely tattooed on his shoulder, hangman Jakob Kuisl is called upon to investigate whether witchcraft is at play in his small Bavarian town. When more children disappear and an orphan is found dead with the same mark, the mounting hysteria threatens to erupt. Before the unrest forces him to torture and execute the woman who aided in the birth of his children, Jakob must unravel the truth.

    Brett says: "Disappointing"
    "PHAT WILL ALWAYS FLOAT TO THE TOP"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    THEN SHE KISSED HIM ON THE MOUTH. IT WAS BETTER THEN COFFEE.
    This book does start with a gory, painful execution. The Hangman is also the town torturer, maker of love potions, etc... and it is bad luck to even look at him. His daughter is beautiful, but as the Hangman's daughter, she is ostracized by the town folk. The story is a multiple murder mystery of children, an adventure and a great look at the 1700's in Germany. The way people treat each other is unbelievable to us today. It was a hard world, with lots of poor uneducated people, taken advantage of by the rich.

    As you would expect from a world like this, there are some strong characters. This is a character driven story of which the Hangman is outstanding. You will fall in love with his daughter who is also a strong willed character. She and a doctor (son of a bleeder) fall in love, but like Romeo and Juliet, it is not allowed. In the story a woman is accused of witchcraft and blamed for the death of the children. The Hangman knows she is innocent, but it is his job to torture her and get her confession. He with the help of the doctor must find out who is actually killing the kids before the accused witch confesses. Meanwhile the town starts accusing everything on witches and more people are accused of witchcraft.

    At the end there is an afterword by the author. He has thoroughly researched this period. He got interested because he was tracing his own family roots and he discovered this line of Hangmen in his family history. This is educational as well as entertaining, my favorite way of learning about history.

    I loved every minute of this book, and I am purchasing the sequel today. If you buy it before 4/21/15 you can get it for $6.99. If you like the type of books I like, I don't know how you can pass that up.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Lost Boy, Lost Girl

    • UNABRIDGED (8 hrs and 55 mins)
    • By Peter Straub
    • Narrated By Peter Berkrot
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (40)
    Performance
    (39)
    Story
    (38)

    A woman commits suicide for no apparent reason. A week later, her son- fifteen-year-old Mark Underhill - vanishes. His uncle, novelist Timothy Underhill, searches his hometown of Millhaven for clues that might help unravel this horrible dual mystery. He soon learns that a pedophilic murderer is on the loose in the vicinity, and that shortly before his mother's suicide, Mark had become obsessed with an abandoned house where he imagined the killer might have taken refuge.

    Jim "The Impatient" says: "ALAN ALDA WITHOUT THE SMIRK"
    "ALAN ALDA WITHOUT THE SMIRK"
    Overall
    Performance
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    LET'S GO TO THE DUMP AND SHOOT RATS
    A house in plain sight that nobody sees or sees, but forgets. A house with hidden passage ways. A basement you don't want to enter. A man with no face. Abducted children. A huge mystery.

    RENT A MINISTER
    This is a story told in overlapping time lines, from the view of different characters. The suspense builds during the story and it gets more interesting as it goes along. For me it never hit great, but neither did it hit bad. I did not feel I wasted a credit, but I did feel it could have been more. It does not raise the emotions that you get from Orson Scott Card's Lost Boys and it is never that terrifying. It is more just creepy. It is more of a paranormal then a horror story. Had Peter included the thoughts of the monster, it could have been scarier. A prequel to this actually should be written. We get this mostly as bad things that happened in the past, as opposed to the present.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • The Colony: A Novel

    • UNABRIDGED (8 hrs and 8 mins)
    • By A.J. Colucci
    • Narrated By Teri Clark Linden
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (31)
    Performance
    (29)
    Story
    (28)

    A deadly supercolony of ants with razor-sharp claws that pierce skin like paper and stinging venom that liquefies its prey is killing in Manhattan. The desperate mayor turns to the greatest ant expert in the world, Paul O’Keefe. Paul calls on his ex-wife Kendra Hart, a spirited entomologist. When the ants launch an all-out attack, Paul and Kendra hit the dangerous, panic-stricken streets of New York, searching for a coveted queen. It’s a race to unlock the secrets of an indestructible new species, before the president nukes Manhattan.

    Kim Venatries says: "Ewwww....THEM!!"
    "USUAL ANT CHIT CHAT"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    HELL HAS COME TO US
    Parts of this I really loved. I like nature specials and I like insects. Ants have complicated societies. Ants wage war, build colonies hundreds of miles long, farm and are mostly female.
    If you like nature programs, you will also like large parts of this. This is the books' only saving grace, so if you think watching and learning about ants is a waste of time, you will not like this book.

    THE MUSCLES OF HIS ARMS WERE HARD AND TREMBLING.
    It wasn't long into this book that I realized that Colucci was female. It is a common trick of female authors who write in the Sci-Fi field to abbreviate their first name, to hide they are female. Don't worry, this is not chic lit, but it is noticeable. I thought it was funny that the main character who is an expert on ants, happens to be shapely or hot. The two main men who are the leading ant experts are hunky dream boats and our female lead has slept with both. Cause we all know that scientist are usually trim and fit sex gods and goddess. Forget what you see on Big Bang. This is A.J.'s debut novel and for a debut novel it is not bad. I, Jim the Impatient, did listen to the whole book. The characters are cliché. The story would make a good action movie, but it is not a great book. Most of this reads like a Patterson novel. She even has four feel good cliché endings, not one, but four. I like nature gone wild books and her next book is called Seeds or something similar and is about plants gone wild, so, it is possible I will continue to read her books, to see if she gets better.

    This narrator is one of the worst. Her voice is mostly monotone. When she reads about a guy shooting himself in the head it is in the same tone as if he was buttering toast. I hope she gets a better narrator for her future books. I will not purposely listen to this narrator again.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Twilight Eyes

    • UNABRIDGED (17 hrs and 6 mins)
    • By Dean Koontz
    • Narrated By Malcolm Hillgartner
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (660)
    Performance
    (331)
    Story
    (332)

    They're out there...waiting...watching. Unseen by normal eyes, but all too visible to Slim MacKenzie, a young man blessed - or cursed - by Twilight Eyes.

    Joe says: "Highly Entertaining"
    "YOU TRAVEL LIGHT WHEN YOU ARE WANTED FOR MURDER"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    I FELT UNMASKED, UNCLOTHED, NAKED
    A lot of similarities in this with Odd Thomas. The goblins feed on fear and bad vibes. Had Koontz just wrote this story it could have been great. Instead he tried to be Fitzgerald or some classic writer. He is very descriptive and everything is described in three different ways. The love scene might make you gag. I stayed with it for almost eleven hours, cause I wanted to know how the story ended or the problem was solved. When part 2 started and Koontz got even more flowery, I could not stand it anymore. This is early Koontz and in my opinion all early Koontz should be avoided, while later Koontz should be treasured.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Christine

    • UNABRIDGED (19 hrs and 32 mins)
    • By Stephen King
    • Narrated By Holter Graham
    Overall
    (723)
    Performance
    (539)
    Story
    (537)

    It was love at first sight. From the moment 17-year-old Arnie Cunningham saw Christine, he knew he would do anything to possess her. But Christine is no lady. She is Stephen King's ultimate vehicle of terror.

    marvin says: "excellent novel made better by great narrator"
    "BROWN SUGAR SANDWICH"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    MY INTEREST WENT FROM ZERO TO NEGATIVE
    I never realized that King wrote YA books. I always say that King writes horror as relish to his great stories and characters. This time he did neither. The story is extremely slow moving and after 7 and half hours very little suspense had been built. The characters were not interesting and not real believable. The school jocks' best friend is the wimpiest nerd in school? It is told in first person, which I feel was a mistake. It is full of teasers, the sign of a new writer. The jock makes fun of a fat family and what they eat, then later he is eating brown sugar sandwiches, twinkies and drinking Hawaiian Punch. The story is very slow, with lots of long illustrations to highlight his thoughts. King, an admitted baseball fan gets his football positions mixed up on offense and defense. An end plays defense and a Wide Receiver plays offense. You do not call a Wide Receiver an end.

    I Think I love You
    The story takes place in 1978. Young people today will wonder what was the big deal with a car having 97,000 miles. In the 70's a car with close to 100,000 miles was heading for the salvage yard. Everyone also knew how to change a flat, as with bias ply tires, flats were common. A Sean Cassidy 45, would be a popular heart throb's record. A 45 was a record with only two songs on it. One on each side. You may have seen Sean's brother, David Cassidy on reruns of The Partridge Family. I did like that the main character's family was close, something you don't always see in a YA book.

    I wanted to see how it ended, but could not take another 12 hours of High School Life. Knowing King, the car probably turned into a space ship and flew into space on the last page, but I will never know.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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