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Cleaning Commando

Member Since 2008

93
HELPFUL VOTES
  • 12 reviews
  • 20 ratings
  • 871 titles in library
  • 25 purchased in 2015
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  • Shattered Hourglass: Day by Day Armageddon, Book 3

    • UNABRIDGED (9 hrs and 27 mins)
    • By J. L. Bourne
    • Narrated By Jay Snyder
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (1107)
    Performance
    (1027)
    Story
    (1026)

    In a desperate bid to take back the continental United States - where hordes of undead now dominate the ravaged human population - a Navy commander leads a global mission to the heart of the pandemic. Task Force Hourglass is humanity’s final hope, and his team’s agonizing decisions could mean living one day more - or surrendering to the eternal hell that exists between life and death.

    Amanda says: "A bit on the dull side"
    "J.L., why hast though abandoned us?"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    Is there anything you would change about this book?

    Yes, I would like JL to re-write this book and give it more depth and development.

    1: The Über-villian, "GOD" completely fizzled after soooo much hyper.
    2: the ET, Chang....okay so WTF was that all about? I mean I get it but damn it was like "little ET dude, funky suit, alloy shoes, oh crap he's human...screw him and we're outta here!"


    Has Shattered Hourglass turned you off from other books in this genre?

    Not in the genre but I wouldn't buy another JLB book until it gathered several decent ratings by other like-minded individuals here. The first two DBDAs were fun and they were, most importantly to me, DIFFERENT!

    JLB did something that, for me, has also been exquisitely executed by the likes of "The Walking Dead", Jonathan Maberry's zombie epic and of course the holy grail "WWZ": he made the zombies a catalyst for the storyline and a propulsion vector for the characters!

    "Shattered Hourglass" was like a microwaved burrito: temporarily filling with no nutrition and almost no flavor.


    Did the narration match the pace of the story?

    Well enough I suppose.


    Did Shattered Hourglass inspire you to do anything?

    Yes it inspired me to aggravation, frustration and to write this short review.


    Any additional comments?

    When I read Mike Naka's review I was like "YEAH" and "ME TOO"! He pretty much outlined all of my story woes.

    I really liked the freshness and originality of the first two books. This book just made me feel like the author had to be coerced into writing it and that he just wanted it done and over with.

    Honestly I just wanted the book to end so I could read/listen to something else.

    3 of 4 people found this review helpful
  • Reanimators

    • UNABRIDGED (11 hrs and 17 mins)
    • By Pete Rawlik
    • Narrated By Oliver Wyman
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (28)
    Performance
    (28)
    Story
    (27)

    Two men, a bitter rivalry, and a quarter-century of unspeakable horrors. Herbert West’s crimes against nature are well-known to those familiar with the darkest secrets of science and resurrection. Obsessed with finding a cure for mankind’s oldest malady, death itself, he has experimented upon the living and dead, leaving behind a trail of monsters, mayhem, and madness. But the story of his greatest rival has never been told until now.

    Elise Givhan Spainhour says: "A wonderful romp through Lovecraft country"
    "LOVEITLOVEITLOVEIT"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    If you could sum up Reanimators in three words, what would they be?

    Creepy good times!


    Which character – as performed by Oliver Wyman – was your favorite?

    If you are an avid Monster Hunters International fan (as I am) you'll recognize Wyman's voice. I had to laugh whenever he vocalized some of the "mis-born" seven foot tall 15 year-olds since it was the same voice used for Agent Franks.

    Don't get me wrong I am a HUGE Wyman fan and he is one of the best voice artists in the industry! This adaptation is no exception! Great job!


    Any additional comments?

    If you like Lovecraft, you'll love this! This book is crazy fun and I enjoyed Rawlik's re-telling / furtherment of the mythos universe. There was very few actual cuttle-fish-face sightings and just a tad of referencing of the elder ones but everything else is off the hook!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Neverland

    • UNABRIDGED (11 hrs and 47 mins)
    • By Douglas Clegg
    • Narrated By David Stifel
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (76)
    Performance
    (73)
    Story
    (74)

    For years, the Jackson family has vacationed at Rowena Wandigaux Lee's old Victorian house on Gull Island, a place of superstition and legend off the southern coast of the U.S. One particular summer, young Beau follows his cousin Sumter into a hidden shack in the woods - and christens this new clubhouse "Neverland." The rundown shack in the woods is the key to an age-old mystery, a place forbidden to all. But Neverland becomes the place where children begin to worship a creature of shadows, which Sumter calls "Lucy."

    Sharron says: "WOW! Creeped out for weeks!!!--New favourite!!!"
    "OH SH*T! I didn't expect this!"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    If you are a horror hound like me: DEFINITELY.


    What other book might you compare Neverland to and why?

    N/A


    Have you listened to any of David Stifel’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

    Sorry haven't heard any others.


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    No, I don't see myself listening to anything in one sitting.


    Any additional comments?

    At first I was like "yadda, yadda, yadda". The story began slowly and the accent took me a bit to get used to. But suddenly without warning this story just got freaky as shit. I just didn't expect much then it just got mega dark and mega weird.

    I was digging it!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Grid Down Reality Bites: Volume 1, Part 2

    • UNABRIDGED (11 hrs and 57 mins)
    • By Bruce Buckshot Hemming, Sara Freeman
    • Narrated By Elizabeth Phillips
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (33)
    Performance
    (33)
    Story
    (33)

    The realness and startling reality that many may face in an End Of The World scenario. This book has them in spades. In a world gone mad, how would you survive? This is a Survival Blueprint with an exciting story line that you can't put down. From one adventure to the next where all seems lost, the strong will survive. October 7th, 2015 was the day the whole world changed forever. A must have for anyone who wants to learn how to survive an uncertain future. Just one tip from the book could save your life.

    Cleaning Commando says: "Not horrible but trying to say the least!"
    "Not horrible but trying to say the least!"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    Is there anything you would change about this book?

    Some of the story and dialogue is sophomoric. It kind of ends up being "prepper entertainment". There are some pretty lame military references. Its apparent the author has VERY minimal knowledge of the military. Something as basic as referring to the DoD course "SERE", pronounced "sear" continually referred to as S-E-R-E. Come on guys...watch a movie or google something once in a while.

    The dialogue between some of the characters is really clunky and goofy; the chat between the two goofballs claiming to "own the lake now" is a good example. Some interaction comes off feeling like half-assed comedy skits.

    The narrator's contributions are pretty lame. She mispronounces MANY words, over and over, not tough words just silly stuff like knives (knifes) and leaves (leafes) and mower (mao-wer).


    What was the most interesting aspect of this story? The least interesting?

    Yadda Yadda


    Would you be willing to try another one of Elizabeth Phillips’s performances?

    No way in hell!


    If this book were a movie would you go see it?

    Not so much.


    Any additional comments?

    If you like prepper stories and stuff and you read a lot of them then its an okay way to pass time. If you're looking for an engaging and really informative read...keep looking and return to this when you're jaded.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • The Bone Collector: The First Lincoln Rhyme Novel

    • UNABRIDGED (11 hrs and 21 mins)
    • By Jeffery Deaver
    • Narrated By Connor O'Brien
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (116)
    Performance
    (104)
    Story
    (101)

    In his most gripping thriller yet, Jeffery Deaver takes listeners on a terrifying ride into two ingenious minds...that of a physically challenged detective and the scheming killer he must stop. The detective was the former head of forensics at the NYPD, but is now a quadriplegic who can only exercise his mind. The killer is a man whose obsession with old New York helps him choose his next victim. Now, with the help of a beautiful young cop, this diabolical killer must be stopped before he can kill again!

    SueSonya says: "Worst narration I've ever heard"
    "Love the author, story but the narrator!"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    Would you consider the audio edition of The Bone Collector to be better than the print version?

    NO! I had to listen to his voice.....aaaargh! He sounded like a low budget saturday morning cartoon voice.


    Who would you have cast as narrator instead of Connor O'Brien?

    Scott Brick or Edoardo Ballerini or George Guidall.


    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Haunted: The Incredible True Story of a Canadian Family's Experience Living in a Haunted House

    • UNABRIDGED (4 hrs and 49 mins)
    • By Dorah L. Williams
    • Narrated By Katina Kalin
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (61)
    Performance
    (56)
    Story
    (57)

    The Williams family gave into an odd, overwhelming desire to purchase and move into a Victorian home they had come upon by chance...but shortly after moving in, strange things began to happen. It became abundantly clear that the Williams' new home was haunted.

    Rene Bellis says: "Excellent and entertaining book! Enjoyed it!"
    "This purchase will haunt me for a long time"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    What disappointed you about Haunted?

    The story was dry and meandering. I just couldn't bring myself to care about the events or the characters, and I tried! There was zero chill factor or creep factor. I have never been so bored by paranormal events. I couldn't make it much past 60 minutes before I pulled the plug.


    What could Dorah L. Williams have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

    I can't think of anything. It just didn't appeal to me on any level.


    Would you be willing to try another one of Katina Kalin’s performances?

    NO WAY! Her narration only added to the problem. I felt like I was five, sitting in the floor of the public library and Miss Katina was reading us a story before nap time. Her portrayal of child characters drove me insane. She used a voice that reminded me of how some people talk to children like they have the intelligence of a doorknob. Her use of a "baby talk" voice elicited actual frowns and grimaces from this reader.


    What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

    Mega disappointment! I like non-fiction stories that approach the paranormal from middle ground, letting the reader shape opinions and personal atmosphere based on their own perceptions. I was never able to concentrate on the aspects of the haunting because I was too busy not enjoying this book.


    Any additional comments?

    It didn't work for me at all. The performance was pretty bad BUT that is me. I love stories like those built around Ed and Lorraine Warren's experiences so perhaps I'm tainted. If you like the kind of ghost story one would find haunting the pages of "Good Housekeeping" or "Reader's Digest"... this is your story!

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  • The Fraternity of the Stone

    • UNABRIDGED (10 hrs and 24 mins)
    • By David Morrell
    • Narrated By George Ralph
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (80)
    Performance
    (36)
    Story
    (38)

    Drew Maclane was a star agent - until the day the killing had to stop. He withdrew, and for six years lived the life of a hermit in a monastery. But someone has tracked him down, leaving a trail of corpses...someone who knows all about him, who knows how to draw him back into that electrifying world where no one is as he seems, and where life's most horrifying and harrowing game is played.

    Michael says: "Painful to listen to"
    "Can't get past the narration!"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

    Someone on meth! The narrator races through the story like he's being paid to screw it up!


    If you’ve listened to books by David Morrell before, how does this one compare?

    I really enjoyed Morrell's books in the 80's so I tried "Brotherhood of the Rose" on audio. The narration and the voice work made it a horrible listen. So I see that there is no name for a narrator on this book but Ralph's name is presented on the others so I'm thinking "hmmm, maybe the first book was a performance wash since they wouldn't list the reader's name". I then forged on to try this one.

    I was wrong....1 credit wrong! I won't waste money on another and I don't think I can finish this one, the voice work is so terrible.


    Would you be willing to try another one of George Ralph’s performances?

    NOT IN A MILLION YEARS!


    What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

    Anger and disappointment. I've read other reviews so I know I'm not alone in my frustration. Why would you keep compounding your losses?


    Any additional comments?

    Morrell's books were always a lot of fun and a great distraction from everyday life. They are done a great injustice by the audio performances on the two novels I've listened to. As I see George Ralph's name on other Morrell audio novels it cements my decision to not waste another credit.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Cold City: A Repairman Jack Novel

    • UNABRIDGED (11 hrs and 19 mins)
    • By F. Paul Wilson
    • Narrated By Alexander Cendese
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (716)
    Performance
    (623)
    Story
    (619)

    If you’ve never read a Repairman Jack novel, this is the place to begin. It’s 1990. A twenty-one-year-old named Jack has dropped out of college, leaving his old life behind to build a new one in New York City. Manhattan’s rough edges are jagged enough to shred any unwary newcomer, but perhaps not one who is determined to stay off the grid, at any cost, in the busiest metropolis on earth. And to do so, he’ll have to take jobs of a less than legal nature.

    Andrew Pollack says: "Fun, as long you don't think too much"
    "Okay, enough is enough!"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    Would you listen to Cold City again? Why?

    Yes and I probably will! I love Repairman Jack novels. I enjoy the blend of fed-up normal guy willing to make things right and the slowly emerging supernatural, uber-scaries!


    If you’ve listened to books by F. Paul Wilson before, how does this one compare?

    Pretty great because it gives us a well deserved build on who and how RJ is!


    Which scene was your favorite?

    I love the scenes with Black and Blue.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    No.


    Any additional comments?

    I say "enough is enough" because FPW makes us wait for so long between audio novels! I love his works and can't wait for the next! BUT COME ON, PAUL...have mercy on us! Lets get a few more on audio! I travel a great deal for work and audio novels like this make my circumstance most tolerable! RJ / FPW... lets do this!!!!!!

    13 of 16 people found this review helpful
  • Every Dead Thing

    • UNABRIDGED (15 hrs and 51 mins)
    • By John Connolly
    • Narrated By Jeff Harding
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (73)
    Performance
    (67)
    Story
    (69)

    Former NYPD detective Charlie "Bird" Parker is on the verge of madness. Tortured by the unsolved slayings of his wife and young daughter, he is a man consumed by guilt, regret, and the desire for revenge. When his former partner asks him to track down a missing girl, Parker finds himself drawn into a world beyond his imagining - one where 30 year old killings remain shrouded in fear and lies, a world where the ghosts of the dead torment the living....

    Mike says: "Horrible narration"
    "Story vs Narrator"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    What made the experience of listening to Every Dead Thing the most enjoyable?

    I love Charlie Parker and all of his retinue but I had issues with the narrator! He mispronounced his butt off! He made so many mispronunciations, so often it really detracted from the overall experience.

    I've read a few of the later CP novels and loved the blend of detectives + supernatural scary stuff! Mr. Harding's sterile, high school biology teacher's delivery of the material was only exacerbated by his weird pronunciations of mainstream locations and terms.

    Maybe I'm being a pain in the *ss but there was so much of it I couldn't get away from it.

    I look forward to future CP stories but not with this narrator!


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    I enjoy Louie and Angel. They are a gay couple who break all mainstream perceptions of male homosexual couples! They are total badasses! Louie is a scary dude and Angel is no slouch!


    Did the narration match the pace of the story?

    I've already whined about the narration.


    Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    Ummm no, not extreme.


    Any additional comments?

    I have always enjoyed the depth of the stories and the characters of the CP novels. The author strikes unexpected nails. He mentions the horrors of being a teenager thrown into a trunk and smelling the biological smells of those who preceded him in the trunk as they faced impending doom. His description of many of his characters leave me feeling a little creepy, somewhat uncomfortable... this is what I pay for in a story!

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  • Ex-Heroes

    • UNABRIDGED (8 hrs and 2 mins)
    • By Peter Clines
    • Narrated By Jay Snyder, Khristine Hvam
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (3389)
    Performance
    (3043)
    Story
    (3057)

    Stealth. Gorgon. Regenerator. Cerberus. Zzzap. The Mighty Dragon. They were heroes. Vigilantes. Crusaders for justice, using their superhuman abilites to make Los Angeles a better place. Then the plague of living death spread around the globe. Despite the best efforts of the superheroes, the police, and the military, the hungry corpses rose up and overwhelmed the country. The population was decimated, heroes fell, and the city of angels was left a desolate zombie wasteland like so many others.

    Aser Tolentino says: "Superheroes vs. Zombies? Sure, why not..."
    "WOW! What a pleasant surprise!"
    Overall

    I read the plot summary for this book and thought "CRAP". Later I downloaded it just to have something in my ear while I did yard work. BAM! This book was great! It turned a refreshing corner in the genre. I was like "superheroes, really?" Yes really! It was somehow...feasible! It was like the X Men trying to hold it together after the planet got its ass kicked by the undead. Then to make matters worse, we have a gang problem. The only thing I didn't like about this book was its length (too short) and the fact there isn't a sequel on Audible. If you are looking for a life altering classic treatise on the human condition... keep moving. If you want to have fun, look no further.

    15 of 17 people found this review helpful

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